I can't believe I left you guys alone for an entire MONTH! What kind of stalker am I? But… I was busy… and the wave of sudden OC fics kinda scared me… I was intimidated and hid… But seriously, I was so intimidated that any desire to write just abandoned me.

Today, I had a very intellectual (lie) conversation on flying oranges. I mean, wouldn't that be the best thing (aside from space whales and sliced bread)? It's like a self-justifying food: if you can catch it, you deserve to eat it. It's a workout, sport, entertainment thing, and healthy snack all in one! Even better than flying bananas!

OH! Also, I'm doing a collab with FantasticalFantasy. It's called Lorina in Wonderland. Pretty much the only original character is Lorina, but I think it's still fun. So, drop by if you have the time! (I'm such a hypocrite about OC fics…)

On to comment responses! (Yay! I have a ton! Thank you so much, you amazing reviewers, you!)

Claire: … That is so not okay… Total violation of the awesomeness of the fedora… But was that a Frosty the Schmo-excuse me-Snowman reference? XD You are amazing, Claire. And schnothing… I will use that in the possibly distant future…

Earth: Aw, thank you! You are awesomer, so you don't have to worry about anything. And funny story how Nevva ended up there… *twitch* A hairy bishie… … … Well, he's definitely lacking love, so… *awkwardly steps away* Go for it…! Ehehehe… ehehe. But I would also love to hang out with Nevva. I wouldn't have to worry about paying for ANYTHING!

Blaze and Noshi: I hate to have to start lumping people together, but I love you both to an equal amount, so I hope you guys are okay with this… But thank you as always, you amazing people, you! *attackleglomps ferociously*

Rose: *teary eyed* *attackleglomps* THANKYOUFORREADINGMYRANTS! And yes, he does wear capris… I just ignored that little fact for the purpose of making Nevva move on with her life. My bad…

Pasty: Haha, yeah… Sorry for ruining your image of him. However, I still want to keep this G-rated. (Because all the best entertainment nowadays comes in PG-13 format… Grr…)

Neko: I'm pretty sure I Pmed you about this, but I LOVE THAT IDEA. THANK YOU FOR-EVA!

Lover: Haha, thanks. I have this insane thing where I HAVE to be original. In fact, that is what haunts me every writing moment… O_O Even now… *spooky voice*

Swirl: WELCOME TO THE CREW! *ferociously attackleglomps* (Sorry, my way of showing affection) And thank you for supporting the blog thing-it made me go :DDD. Like really, I had three mouths. I'm kinda glad you weren't there to see it.

Babbit: OMGYOU'REALIVE! I thought the man-eating butterflies got to you! I was so scared! *throws self into Babbit's probably irritated arms* *sobs* And YES. The space whale would be amazing.

Elise: ALSOWELCOMETOTHECREW! I'm really glad you liked it! I hope I can continue making you laugh!

Freaky: Yep! It's a play on Midnight Tea. And thank you so much for reviewing! I hope to see more of you in the future!

"Space whale!" Nevva staggered forward. "Spaaaaaace whaaaaaale!"

Yes, Nevva was currently looking for the possible space whale spawn down in the sewers. Although you may think differently from past chapters, she is actually very persistent. Especially when it comes to space whales. Now, but to her chagrin, she was using her newly acquired and once very sparkly chain as an attempted sieve to find the spawn in the sewage. After an hour, she was surprisingly unsuccessful, although she found a number of other things. Among them were a corroded rubber duck, Tupperware, and a rat the size of a Yorkshire Terrier, all of which were released back into their environment.

However, ten minutes after, something else caught her eye: it was a lump of synthetic material that resembled seaweed. Nevva recognized it immediately.

"Loofah," she whispered in awe.

Wading forward, she picked it up with her forefinger and thumb. It was strangely fluffy and green, although it seemed to be once pink. Globules of unidentifiable substances stuck to it, giving the scrunchy material character. And though no spawn fell off of it, Nevva was able to find and pick off a waterlogged bug. Awe striking her again, she raised the common bathtub item.

"Loofah!" she shouted for no particular reason. Perhaps the amazing capabilities of the loofah would attract the possible space whale spawn. Alas, no spawn approached her, but Nevva didn't give up hope. "LOOFAH!" she called down the sewers, making the roaches on the wall scatter.

"LOOFAH!" she shouted once more.

This time, there was a banging and shuffling as a sewer grate above her lifted and moved to the side. A jingling sound preceded a costumed figure as he climbed down the ladder.

"Hello there, young lady," he smiled. He had on a black jester's hat and a black waistcoat, embroidered with the gold thread that all the role holders seemed to love. Nevva briefly wondered if they all shopped at the same place, but was interrupted as the red-haired man spoke again. "May I ask why you are in the sewers?"

Her mouth set as she cradled her loofah and continued looking him over. He looked somewhat familiar, what with his location and his eye patch. That eye patch…

"Sewer pirate!" Nevva accused with a pointed finger.

The pirate looked a little confused before giving an odd chuckle and offered his hand. "My name is Joker, but you may call me White."

Nevva looked at it disgustedly, not knowing where it had been. "I don't shake hands with sewer pirates."

Once again, the bepatched, jingly-hatted and costumed pirate gave a puzzled smile. "You don't have to worry, I'm not a sewer pirate. See?" he tipped his hat. "No sewer pirate I've met has a hat like this."

This comment struck her, and she contemplated it for a while before wading forward and shaking his hand, reluctantly releasing her loofa-clutch. "I'm Nevva. Have you seen any space whale spawn?"

Wiping his hand off on his pants, he shook his head with the same smile, "I'm… sorry, but no. How about you come out of there?"

Only sewer pirates are black-hearted enough to distract someone from finding space whale spawn. Nevva, knowing this, also knew that she had to escape the pirate before he actually wheedled her out of the sewer. Turning around, Nevva waded away as fast as she could before he could pursue her. She got a shocking ten feet away before her feet caught on something-possibly the rubber duck from earlier-and she was sent headlong into the sewage, smacking her head on the wall in the process.

"****, the ***** reeks."

Nevva blearily opened her eyes, blinking against the light and the sudden burst of pain to her head. It was a moment or two before she could make out the gray walls of her new environment. It was a moment or two more before she could focus on the silhouette of something familiar hovering over her face. Red hair, black suit, eye patch… she sat up quickly, smacking her forehead on her kidnapper's nose. As a result, both were immediately greeted by a wave of pain.

"****! What the **** was that for?" the redhead swore loudly, hand over his nose.

"Sewer pirate!" Nevva matched his volume with a pointed finger and a hand clasped to her head. Through the throbbing, she tried to piece together what had happened. First, she was in the sewers looking for the spawn, later found a loofah, and after that encountered a pirate. After luring her into a false sense of security, he tried to get her out of the sewers. Everything after that was black. Glaring at the target of her pointing, she realized that he must have brainwashed her, as all sewer pirates do, and taken her to this stone place. She glared at the pirate.

He looked like her abductor, but something seemed off. Although he seemed to have everything that the one in the sewer did, there was a definite difference. It clicked. "Where is your jingly hat and why did you kidnap me?" she didn't lower her finger until he swore at her again.

"Do I really look like the circus ******* to you?" he growled, examining his hand for blood.

So he wasn't the original sewer pirate? Nevva contemplated this slowly, turning it over in her mind until another voice was heard in the doorway that might or might not have been there previously.

"I see that you've woken up."

Turning toward the voice, she saw something that was uncannily familiar. Red hair, black suit, eye patch… She gasped, directing her pointed finger at his head. "Original sewer pirate!"

"Why the **** do you keep calling us sewer pirates?"

Nevva stared at him uncomprehendingly. "Because you were in the sewers and you have an eye patch."

"What the ****?"

Her logic was obviously superior.

"Let's reintroduce ourselves," White cut in, walking over and sitting by his pirate clone. "I'm White and this is Black."

"Hey, *****."

That name, coupled with his demeanor and appearance seemed more familiar than before. It had been years since her escape, and perhaps her memory failed her, but she threw it out there. "Black?" she grinned, smacking him on the back. "Black, from the mental ward! Am I right?"

His face told her she wasn't. Maybe she should stop shooting for that one.

"Erm…" she muttered when no one broke the very awkward silence. Glancing around for something to speak about, she ran over her items: Bowtie, jacket, belt, chain, loofah-

"My loofah!" she jumped up and patted herself down. "My bowtie! Where did every-"

"We sent them to be cleaned," White smiled. "After you tripped, everything was covered in sewage."

"Including you." Black gingerly touched his nose again.

"So why don't you wash up? We'll get have someone get you a change of clothes."

Nevva considered it. "Will I get my treasures back?"

"You call that **** treasure?"

"Yes," White interrupted.

"Okay."

With that, Black led her past a series of bars and locked doors.

"By the way, where am I?" Nevva trotted along behind him.

"You're in prison, *****," Black was holding a women's circus uniform that White had given him.

"Do you have Tourette's?"

"**** no."

"Is it frustrating to only have five words in your vocabulary?"

"We're here." he opened the door to a small gray bathroom with a single window. Tossing the clothes in, he shoved Nevva in as well.

"Be quick," Black ordered and shut the door, his footsteps clipping down the hall.

Nevva waited until the hall was silent before rinsing off her loofah, which had been given back on the condition that she would bathe. Pulling up the pin that plugged the sink, she bent it so it wouldn't unclog itself and filled the sink halfway with water. ((Author's note: Good children, this will break your sinks, so please refrain from mimicking her actions.)) Although the loofah was now restored to a less-prominent-but-still-green-covered-pink, there was no telling what the sewer pirates had done to it. Just to be safe, she searched for bleach to mix with the water. In the cabinet there were various bottles filled with various substances for various uses, most of which were in clear bottles. Taking two out, Nevva unscrewed both their lids. The first smelled like ammonia, so she set it down absently and moved on, putting the lid to the side. On the second, the contents of the bottle were written on the side of the container in black permanent marker.

Bleach. Bingo. There was also a warning: Do not mix with ammonia.

Well, she dismissed the warning, that's never going to happen. Nevva dumped it into the water before opening the small window on the wall for ventilation. (She wasn't stupid.) This last matter was tougher, as she had to stand on the toilet just to reach the window. After that, she had to wedge her fingers into the crack and wrench it open, as it was stuck in place.

That taken care of, Nevva happily had the one-and-a-half hour shower necessary to scrub off all the sewage, then tacked on an extra thirty minutes to soak and to rinse off the loofah again. ((Note from the author: Even with ventilation, good children should never spend long amounts of time in a small area filled with fumes.)) By the time she was dry and clothed, someone was pounding on the door.

"I said be quick, *****!"

"Who is it?" she called contentedly.

There was a pause.

"Santa Clause. It's me, you *****!"

She assumed it was Black.

"We have your 'treasures,'" White spoke.

"Really?" Nevva twirled to face the door.

Clunk.

"What was that?" Black demanded.

"Um, nothing!" Nevva quickly set the overturned ammonia bottle back in its position, screwing on the neglected lid to keep any more from spilling into the plugged sink. As she stuck the cleaners back in their places, she realized the full meaning of "We have your treasures." They were pirates. Once they saw her beautiful possessions, it was inevitable that they would want to keep them. Who knew if they would really give them back? She would have to corner them. Yes, she decided that she would have to trap them in a small space so they couldn't escape with her treasures. An idea came to her.

"Don't **** with us! If it was nothing, then get out here so you can leave!"

"The doorknob doesn't work."

This was true. She hadn't found out until just before they came, but the knob on the inside was broken and wouldn't turn. It didn't seem like a big deal, though, because she figured she could just climb through the window. Although it was small, it seemed like it was just wide enough to fit her.

"Alright," White said. "We'll come in and check it out."

The door swung open and White stepped in, followed by a Black who had his arms filled with her various tchotchkes. With his everlasting smile, White nodded to Nevva and stood beside her to see the doorknob. His gloved fingers played over the handle as he examined the damage.

"Hm," he muttered. "I can't see what's-"

Nevva slammed the door shut, making half of the knob pop off into White's hand.

Silence.

Five seconds passed. Nevva began to feel like she did something she shouldn't have.

Black pounded on the door frantically and started cursing. First at the door, then at her.

"****! You ******* *****! What the ******* **** was that **** for? Now we're all ******* stuck thanks to some half-***** mistake that you just had to ******* make!"

She thought her actions over. At first, shutting the door seemed like a good idea, but perhaps it would have been better if she were on the other side. Well, she would just have to remember it for next time. Currently, she had more pressing matters to attend to. "Don't act innocent!" Nevva shouted back. "You would never return my things otherwise!"

White's smile looked strained. "Nevva, we don't want your possessions, we have enough of our own."

"Oh."

"'Oh'? You lock us in here and the only ******* thing you can say is OH? You **** load of ******* *****!"

Nevva was quiet. "Fine," she growled. "I'll just climb out the window and let you guys in."

The brothers noticed the window and looked a little less furious.

"Alright," White said. "Black, help her up."

Black rolled his eyes, but boosted her high enough to crawl out through the window. Once she was out, White gave her directions, but paused at the end.

"…and that's-Do you smell something?"

Black sniffed the air. "Bleach?"

White thought for a moment, "Maybe. Nevva, did you mix any chemicals?"

"Um," Nevva paused, looking at both the jokers, realizing that she may have done something she shouldn't have. What did she learn about ammonia and bleach? It felt important. It felt really important. "Um…" She shut the window and ran off.

Almost five minutes later, Nevva opened the door to the bathroom.

"Wow," she staggered back. "It does smell weird in here."

On the floor were two unconscious Jokers, one holding all her possessions. Nevva went to work. First, she donned the jacket, then knotted the scarf, hooked the chain, tied the bowtie, and slipped the loofah string around her wrist. She turned to leave, but was stopped by a small jingling sound. Looking down, she found that her foot had nudged White's hat.

Nevva exited the building that day never having felt better about herself. Not only was she clean, but she jingled and had acquired a fashionable new eye patch. Against all odds, she had gotten a loofah, retrieved her treasures, and defeated the sewer pirates in an epic two-to-one battle.

Things were looking up.

Aaaaaaaaaaand, by an overwhelming popularity vote, White's jingly hat has been successfully stole-obtained by our heroine!

Alright, one last note: The mixing of ammonia and bleach creates a gas called hydrazine THAT CAN KILL YOU. Please do not ever try to replicate Nevva's methods, as she is immortal and you are not.

That aside, I AM SO SORRY FOR ABANDONING YOU GUYS! However, debate season has ended, so updates should come a little bit quicker.

How great would it be if I started a space whale fad? It would be like me-worship, but better!