If there's someone Izaya would gladly want a vending machine thrown at it would be Dolories Umbridge.

He glared at her from beneath those dark eyes of his, his lips curling upwards into a smirk and his mind engulfed by sinister thoughts. Thoughts which were predicting different outcomes of her demise. His ears had refused to listen to that toad droning on and on about the most nonsensical things Izaya has ever heard. To him she was merely a distraction; a malevolent entity sent by his arch nemesis to eliminate him. His heart was suddenly filled with ecstasy as he pictured her being chased by a chainsaw wielding Shizuo while students from every nook and cranny of the school prepared to throw confetti and flowers to celebrate her destruction.

On the other hand he was also wondering about Rio. It has been five days and he hadn't heard a single word about her condition. His head of house; Professor Snape, the man who was in charge of curing her had told him that she and the other three boys were still in coma. The man had favored the Slytherins and promised to take good care of these four students. However he not given any clues to when she could wake up and had stumbled solemnly back into his office before he could ask him another question. Izaya had the impression that she wasn't going to wake up in months.

But at least her attacker had been given justice. Chikage which is what he was called was rumored to have been sent to the headmaster's office along with his parents. Izaya had heard whispers that he was given a detention by Umbridge herself and spotted him tearfully staggering across the hallway one night, his hand heavily bandaged and bloody. Draco Malfoy then told him and Chikage had actually denied his involvement with the situation and blamed it entirely on Izaya.

"He said that you literary snapped in front of Rio and injured her," he said on the night after the incident. "He also says that he put up a good fight against you but lost because you cheated. But luckily he was fed Veritaserum which is a truth potion afterwards so that they would know whether he's lying or telling the truth."

However he brushed his past thoughts away and concentrated on the present. Defense against the dark arts was a big issue in this school and he had considered it to be ten times worse than History of Magic which usually bored him to death. The textbooks didn't make any sense, the teacher was a bitch and even giving her a hint at how tired he was would only land him in another detention. Besides was it even legal to torture students with a pen?

Considering it's Hogwarts, anything is possible.

Suddenly a loud bang was heard outside the room while Umbridge was explaining about the basis of using permissible methods of magic.

"Who on earth is disturbing my class?" she wondered out loud.

An even louder bang was audible and some of the students screamed in surprise and fright. It sounded like a bomb had just been detonated. Izaya pondered whether some of the students were actually terrorists in disguise.

"Silence!" Umbridge cried, waving her wand frantically in the air. "Class is dismissed! Go back to your houses!"

The students didn't need to be told twice and flooded out of the room, shoving and pushing their mates behind them to be the fastest to approach the exit. Umbridge followed behind them, her lumbering structure faltering through the crowd. Izaya stood up only to have someone tug him by the shoulder blades.

"Chill Izaya," someone whispered. "I got this under control."

He spun around to see Kadota Kyohei standing behind him, a shroud of desperation surrounding his face and a smirk beginning to form above his chin.

"Dotachin!" Izaya chirped. "Did you do this?"

"Don't call me Dotachin for fucks sake," he replied. "And no, I wasn't the one who caused this. Erika and Walker were grateful enough to cause a distraction outside, to allow you to escape your boredom. We were concerned of your dire needs to beat the living shit out of this fat ass bitch and get into trouble again, so we came to stop you."

"You actually think I would kill Umbridge, didn't you?"

Kadota nodded. "You could be quite capable of doing so, considering your reputation back in Ikebukuro. That stunt you caused a week ago would have gotten you expelled if you weren't an exchange student. We need you as a new defense against the dark arts teacher."

Izaya suddenly burst into fits of laughter. "You're kidding me Kadota!" he said in a wheezy voice. "Me a teacher! I'm only fifteen man and plus I don't even know shit about the subject!"

"You know how to cast nonverbal spells."

"Yeah well that's talent," Izaya said. "I just seemed to memorize everything from this book."

"And where is that book."

Izaya stopped laughing. "Why? Do you want it for yourself?"

"Well… ummm…"

"Well guess what Dotachin, you can't have it!"

Kadota's face darkened and Izaya knew immediately that he shouldn't have said that. Despite him being quite low on his 'most badass human' list, Kadota was still not a man to be trifled with.

"Listen carefully Izaya because I'm not going to repeat this," he said. "The exchange students in this school are going berserk and shooting each other with guns. I'm not joking and we already have many mysterious casualties lying about so if you want to stop this shit then we have to cooperate. It's all because of that newly formed Inquisitorial squad who are going around messing things up and interrupting shit. But we can combat them. Stop this madness. And we can do that by forming a gang. You can be the leader for now. It would just be like old times pal."

"Yeah except this isn't Ikebokuro pal," Izaya said, his lips curling upwards into a sinister smile at the word 'pal.' "It won't be the same. The teacher's are... well tougher. We could barely escape with our lives. Now if you would excuse me I've got some unfinished business to well… finish."

Just as he was about to move to the exit, Kadota said: "You know, I heard Harry Potter just launched his own gang. He calls it the DA, short for Dumbledore's army. And he's teaching them defense against the dark arts."

Izaya turned to face him. Harry Potter initiating his own gang? How was that even possible? The skinny appearance of the boy alone was enough to show that he didn't have the guts to beat up Draco Malfoy.

But his popularity could be taken into consideration.

"Ok I'm listening," he said. "So what are their plans?" He hoped they were not using their army specifically to combat the terror that Umbridge has caused. He wanted to do that himself.

Kadota dug his hands into his pockets. "They are using their army to protect themselves against a certain dark wizard which Harry Potter believes has risen from the dead. I don't see how a fifth year is expecting to teach a couple of Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs or Ravenclaws to survive by using his knowledge because unlike you Izaya, he doesn't know any nonverbal spells. I bet he doesn't even know any unforgivable curses and from what I've heard, it's hard to kill anybody without any knowledge of how those spells work."

"Well in that case, he's a pussy."

Another bang sounded from the floor above them, but he just ignored it as though it were a device used just for distraction. "Togusa is actually attending the army's practice sessions every day. He said that Potter is actually looked up to by his peers and this is probably what caused an increase in their performances. He told me that the spells he taught are merely ones used for dueling purposes and I expect they would be useless while fighting against those hooded bastards whom they call death eaters. Don't forget those guys will kill and not use silly disarming spells. I turned down their offer for me to join because I have faith in you pal. Think of Dumbledore's army as though they are the Blue Squares. Think of the Inquisitorial Squad as though they're the Yellow Scarves. And think of us as though we're Dollars. I stopped you from killing Umbridge so we could all do it together. So what do you say?"

Izaya pressed his thumb against his chin, his hand in a gun-like pose. Kadota grinned when he saw this; everyone knew that this was a popular thinking gesture used to indicate that the person was up to something.

"So if Dumbledore's army is used to train illegally in preparation for an upcoming attack against the dark lord," Izaya said. "Then what of the Inquisitorial squad?"

"They are used to carry out Umbridge's orders," Kadota explained. "They are full of Slytherins and I can't really tell why they would do this considering that they should hate Umbridge like the rest of us."

"Perhaps she brainwashed them?"

"Yeah that could be a possible reason."

"Then my own house would be our number one enemy," Izaya said. "But who are we going to recruit? Just the exchange students?"

"I'm afraid so. Considering that almost all the British students are joining the other two gangs, I guess only the people we know would be interested."

"So who are you considering at the moment?"

Kadota scratched his head in thought. "I've talked with Shinra and he has agreed to my offer. He would make a great addition to the team considering we need a smart guy and most of our friends are dumb as hell. But what we need most is a secret weapon."

"Secret weapon?"

"Yes! Every team has one."

"In that case what is it going to be?" Izaya asked. His smile broadened as images of a massive army of owls wearing full body armor and carrying machine guns slipped into his mind.

"I'm afraid it is Shizuo."

I apologize if the chapter is boring, but I can't add both this scene and the sushi class scene in the same chapter because it would be way too long. Anyways don't forget to review because I need lots of feedback to motivate me to write my next chapter.

Next chapter is going to be epic!