Believe it or not, the writing in this chapter is what I wrote this year. The previous chapters was what I wrote three years ago - but was heavily edited. I just wanted to continue the story and give it an ending.
Previously: "And I won't let those guys touch you again. I will never turn my back on you again either," he promised. "And you're gonna be okay, Tom. You will get through it, okay?"
"How are you coping, Tom?"
He just sat and stared at the psychiatrist. A psychiatrist who he had been referred to by the hospital. He had no choice but to see one whilst he was still under the hospital's care.
He hoped by being silent, he could avoid the stupid questions.
It did work when he saw him yesterday.
The psychiatrist, named Dr. Adams stared back, longer and harder than he could ever muster. The guy could have been a trained hypnotist if he wanted to.
He flicked away his eyes from him and let his eyes wander around the room instead. The room was small and was used as a temporary office so it didn't look like it belonged to a psychiatrist. The walls were bare and painted in a creme color. And all they had was two plastic chairs to sit on which felt too hard and uncomfortable.
How am I coping? He asked himself. Not great.
He would have coped better if everything around him wasn't so crazy.
It had only been a week and people kept coming in and out of his room trying to coax him to talk about what happened. Doctors, nurses, detectives, police officers, Doug, Fuller, Judy and his mom pestered him with the same questions over and over.
What did they do to you? What are the names of the men that did this?
He tried his best to put his guard up and not say anything but it left him feeling exhausted.
And now this. A psychiatrist.
The world outside was crazy too because while he had been gone, he was told the media got ugly really fast. He was told Fuller spent most of his time furiously trying to stop the media from using and leaking his photos and personal details. Until, eventually, it had been so long, Fuller eventually gave up and let them use his photos. Just as long as they didn't touch his personal details. Now that he had been found, the media fired up again which didn't help matters because he was afraid James and his men would easily see the media if they printed anything he said.
And they would hunt him down and kill him for sure.
Besides, he didn't want to tell anyone what happened. There was things that he felt too embarrassed and ashamed to talk about. He couldn't imagine standing up in court and telling them what happened and have everyone in the room judge him. For those reasons, he thought it would be easier for it to just go away.
Apart from that, he didn't think prison would teach them a lesson anyway. It didn't work for James the first time because was just got out angry and thirsty for blood.
"It's been too hectic," he finally replied.
Mr. Adams formed a wide, satisfied smile, as though he had just been awarded for the world's best psychiatrist.
"Why hectic?"
Tom looked at the man as though he was stupid. He knew full well how hectic it had been.
"I can't seem to get even a minute alone or a moments peace anymore," he replied angrily. He looked at Dr. Adams up and down to show he was talking about him as well.
It was without a thought, he had said this, and it suprised him. Alone. Did he really want to be alone again after all the loneliness he had suffered through? He didn't know. But he did know that he just wanted everything to by normal.
Adams nodded slowly then squinted his eyes so that they were small, almost like a mouse. He didn't know whether he was trying to look sympathetic or not but either way he noticed he often made the most ridiculous facial expressions.
"If you had the opportunity to go home today, would you?"
Tom looked at him carefully, wondering if it was a trick question.
"Your doctor and I had a discussion yesterday," Adams explained. "It's been over a week and you seem to be in good health and doing well so we discussed whether it would be a good idea for you to go home."
Tom lifted a smile in the corner. "Really?"
"But it's entirely up to you. We can't make you leave the hospital if you don't want to."
"I do want to leave."
Adams formed that satisified smile again. "That was very brave of you to say Tom. Wanting to leave the hospital is a huge step."
"So I can leave today right?" he asked, hopefully.
"Yes, but we've decided we cannot allow you to be alone and you cannot return to your apartment either," Adams said. "It may be unsafe as we still hadn't found those guys who hurt you. What your friend Doug suggested, is that you could stay at his apartment for a while."
Tom couldn't hide his disappointment. He wanted to be alone. He loved Doug like a brother but he had mothering him way too much these past days which drove him crazy. He kept asking if he was okay, doing everything for him and even gave him a bunch of flowers!
"So, is that okay with you, Tom?"
He deflated his lungs to release a huge sigh. It would have to do because he had nowhere else to go except for his mom's. But it wouldn't work out because he had a conflicting relationship with her. Ever since his dad died when he was sixteen, he tried to block her out of his life. If he could state any reason why, it was because he was afraid he was going to lose her too. He thought it would have been easier to push away another important figure in his life to stop himself from getting hurt again.
He knew it was stupid but it seemed like a good idea back then.
He almost tried to push away Doug in the beginning of their friendship, same as anybody else who tried to attach themselves to him. But he grew up and understood it just wasn't the right thing to do.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
True to Dr. Adam's words, he was allowed to leave the hospital the following day.
All he left the hospital with was brand new clothes on his body; a pair of jeans and a navy blue t-shirt which his mom got him. She tried hard to enter his life again and make the relationship work. But it only just annoyed him.
Same with Doug, who annoyed him too. In the first five or ten minutes of finding their way out of the hospital and into the parking lot, Doug must have spoke a thousand words per minute. Tom barely listened to him whilst he babbled about how much fun they were going to have.
Fun? There wasn't anything fun about staying over at Doug's. He spent nights at his apartment a few times before and was each time left horrified by how slobby Doug was. His place was usually a mess, with clothes spawled out everywhere, with litter, and god knows what else. He also couldn't help but grow tired of Doug very quickly because he just talked too much.
He followed him as he walked over to his yellow truck. Before he thought about getting in, he turned round and had a good look at him, from his toes and up to his face.
"What?" he uttered self-consciously.
"You are still really skinny," Doug commented.
Tom scowled at him. He was sick of people commenting on his weight. It wasn't his fault he was only fed bread and water when he was taken hostage. His cheekbones were now sharper and he could almost feel every bone in his body. He didn't like it either so he ate all the food the hospital gave him. He gained some but still hadn't returned to his normal weight.
"Don't get all offended!" Doug cried. "I'm just telling you it would be a good idea if we could go to Rocket Dogs because they sure as hell got more calories than the food the hospital gave you."
So here they were - at Rocket Dogs.
It was a small cafe placed outside the city which sold junk food. They used to go there a lot for their lunch break despite it's reputation for having food poisoning.
Back then when all he was given was bread, he missed the place a lot and dreamed of having a greasy burger and fries from there again.
But when Doug started ordering, he began to get paranoid. What if they were here, watching me? he thought.He scanned a few faces in the room. None of them looked in his direction because were fully occupied eating their meals. He relaxed a bit then followed Doug as he carried a tray with their meals on and sat down at a table in the corner. After he shoved down the food, he realised it just wasn't the same. The grease tasted unpleasant. It felt so thick, he could still feel it sitting at the bottom of his stomach. And the fries were so salty, it made his mouth feel dry.
He grabbed for Doug's coke because he already finished his own and drunk it down to wash it away.
"Hey, that's mine!"
Tom ignored him and carried on slurping. "I never realised how disgusting Rocket Dogs is," he said after returning Doug's drink which was now half-full.
"I know you love it really," he replied in amusement. Doug certainly loved the place because he happily scoffed down his last chip.
"I think it just gave me food poisoning," he said dismissively
"It wouldn't kill you to thank me for taking you out and paying for your food you know!" Doug whined.
"Alright, alright," he chuckled.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Three months ago.
Doug.
"Ok, let me lay it out on you. It's not London, I just don't want to be stuck with you for a whole week!" Tom snapped at him.
Doug felt as though Tom had just slapped him in the face. What his friend said was cruel and uncalled for!
"Oh thanks a lot Tom!" he snapped back at him. "I sometimes wonder why we're best friends!"
He turned away from him as fast as he could because he was sure that any moment longer, he probably would have pushed him - or worse.
He was known to have a temper, especially when the wrong buttons are pressed. Sometimes he couldn't restrain himself from getting physical and would hurl punches.
Tom was just lucky.
While he walked up the steps, he continued to insult him. "No one likes you either," he told him. "Because you are just a major asshole who don't give two fucks about anyone who cares about you. And I don't give two fucks about you either!"
He turned around to check how Tom was reacting to his words which he hoped hurt him.
But all he saw, was an empty staircase. Frowning, he held on the rails of the staircase before him and leaned over to glance down below.
Nothing. All he saw was Tom's 1968 blue mustang still sitting in the parking lot.
Weird, he thought.
It was as though Tom had vanished in thin air.
Maybe Tom must have stormed off whilst in a bad mood, he thought.
That made him smile.
He gave up trying to look for him and went into the chapel. It was busy as usual. People were bustling about and the phones kept ringing and ringing.
"Line two!" a voice called out.
"Hey Doug, can you answer line two?" Harry asked, with the phone to his ear.
He spent the first hour answering one phone call after another. The mornings were usually the worst when it came to phone calls and it didn't die down till later in the morning.
While he answered the calls, he occasionally glanced over at Tom's desk which was still empty. The phone on his desk kept ringing and ringing, demanding for him to pick up.
Demanding to know where he was.
"It would have been a bit easier today if Tom was here to answer the phone," Harry whined.
"Yeah, where is he?" Judy asked.
They both looked at him now, waiting for an answer.
"Me and Tom got in a big fight this morning and he stormed off."
Judy shook her head and tutted. "Try and be responsible Doug. Find him and make up, ok?"
"Be responsible? He was the one who started it. And he is the irresponsible one because he should've got his ass back to work by now!" he argued.
"Just - get him before Fuller notices," Judy said firmly.
"Fine."
The first thing he did, was call him. But after he punched in his number, the call went straight to voicemail.
"Hi, this Tom Hanson, please record your message after the beep."
"This is Doug who is still mad at you... Ok, just a little mad at you. I'm just phoning to say get your ass back into work before Fuller whoops it. Bye." he said down the phone.
"What did he say?" Harry asked.
Doug shrugged his shoulders. "I just spoke through to voicemail."
"Oh," said Harry. "Why did you guys fight anyhow?"
"He told me he wouldn't want to be stuck with me for a whole week on vacation."
Judy laughed. "I don't blame him."
"Jude!" Doug cried defensively. "I'm not that bad."
Judy laughed again before she had to take another phone call.
Now that they talked about it, it suddenly occured to him that it was just another one of those stupid fights he and Tom tends to have. Judy didn't seem to mind what Tom said which made he realize that maybe he went too far with his words. Whether it could've really upset Tom, he didn't know. He never expected his words to cut him deep enough to run off and skip work.
He left his desk to wander outside to check if Tom's car was still there.
It was. Now that really made him worry because Tom wouldn't go home without his car. He edged over to the car and peeked through the window to see empty seats. Why would he leave his car? The chapel was on the outskirts of the city, where would he go?
The Mustang was the only proof that Tom was with him that morning.
Captain Fuller eventually found out Tom was missing later that day and demanded an explanation. He felt like crap when he had to explain to Fuller what happened. While he felt like crap, he also felt a sinking feeling that grew from inside of him. A sinking feeling that told him something had happened to his friend. Something bad.
He trusted his own intuitions because he was almost always right. It happened a few times before where he had a feeling Tom was in danger when he actually was.
