A/N: Feel free to listen to Alice Cooper's "No More Mr. Nice Guy" while you're reading. Try to picture Cartman singing it! :)
Chapter 7: Home Intruder
While Kenny was busy getting ready, Stan, Kyle and Cartman were still hiding out at the Marsh house. After locking the front door and pulling the blinds down on all of the windows on the first floor, they decided to try and relax by playing Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock. Stan played guitar, Kyle was on drums, and Cartman sang Alice Cooper's "No More Mr. Nice Guy" into the microphone. It didn't keep their minds off of Trent, but Stan and Kyle still tried to hold back laughter as Cartman wiggled his hips and belted out the song in an off-key voice.
Stan paused for a moment, his fingers hovering above the guitar's buttons.
"You're missing some notes, dude," Kyle said without taking his eyes off the screen.
"Do you guys hear that?" Stan asked. "It sounds like something rattling."
The boys paused the game and listened. Sure enough, the doorknob on the front door was furiously twisting back and forth. The loud knocking that followed made the boys scream and huddle together in fear.
"It's Trent!" Cartman gasped. "He found us!"
"Open the door, turds!" a voice yelled from the other side. "I forgot my key!"
The boys sighed with relief; it was only Shelly. Stan took off his guitar controller and opened the door for her.
"Am I glad to see you, Shelly," he greeted her. He never imagined that he'd say those words to her.
Shelly elbowed Stan aside. "Out of my way, turd! I'm in a bad mood!"
"What's wrong with you?"
"My blind date didn't show up at the ice cream parlor," Shelly grumbled and walked up the stairs. "I'll be in my room, so keep it down! It sounded like you were torturing a cat in here!"
"Stan, are you sure you don't want to ask her to protect us from Trent?" Kyle asked when Shelly was out of earshot. "What if Mysterion can't find him?"
"No, she's really pissed," Stan said. "And we didn't do what she wanted, remember?"
"Lie and say we did," Cartman suggested.
Stan bit his lip. Shelly could easily smell a lie. "I don't know-"
"Just do it!" Cartman ordered. "Then Shelly can turn Trent to stone with that ugly face of hers!"
Stan sighed. "Well, I'll try. But I don't know what good it'll do."
He took a deep breath and walked up the stairs to Shelly's room. Kyle and Cartman returned their attention to the video game.
"Go back to the song menu," Cartman said. "I want to sing something else."
"How about your swan song?"
Kyle and Cartman jumped and screamed at the familiar voice. Trent was leaning against the wall by the kitchen door, looking as pissed off as Shelly.
"You guys are still lying and making other people protect you?" He moved away from the wall, clicking his tongue in disapproval. "You make me sick."
"How did you get in here?" Cartman asked, hiding behind Kyle. "The door was locked!"
"The back door wasn't," Trent replied, glancing around the room. "Is it just the three of you here? Where's Kenny?"
"He's not here," Kyle answered.
Trent gingerly scratched his bandaged nose. "That's weird. No one was at his house, so I assumed he was with you guys. Aren't you friends with him anymore? Well, I'll worry about him later."
Above them, Stan suddenly gave a loud cry of pain. "Ow! Stop! You're hurting my arm!"
"Answer me, turdmunch!" Shelly yelled. "Did you talk to her or not?"
"Y-y-yes! W-we did!"
"Look me in the eye and say it, you liar!"
"Guess I don't need to worry about Stan right now either," Trent observed. "That just leaves you two."
The bully rolled up his sleeves and walked toward Kyle and Cartman while they backed away in fright. Cartman had dropped the microphone, but Kyle held the drumsticks out in front of him in a futile effort to defend himself.
"Trent, wait," Kyle begged. "If you promise not to hurt us, we'll do anything you want!"
Trent folded his arms. "I don't make promises with the likes of you."
Upstairs, Stan couldn't take it anymore. "Okay, I lied! We didn't talk to Ms. Claridge!"
"I knew it!"
"We were going to tell her, I swear! But then Trent showed up and-"
"Shut up, turd! Don't expect any help from me!"
Trent glared at Kyle and Cartman. "You still haven't told Ms. Claridge the truth? It's your fault she got those injuries, not to mention those Taser burns."
"We'll tell her the truth and apologize, Trent, if that's what you want," Kyle replied.
"Yeah, we'll go find her right now. I know a place that sells apology fruit baskets," Cartman added, recalling how he'd given one to Ms. Claridge when he thought he was a ghost.
They turned to head for the door, but Trent strode around them and blocked their path.
"You've had six years to do that. What makes you think I'll let you go so easily?" he demanded. "I don't even care if you tell the truth anymore."
"You don't?" Kyle asked.
"No. It's been hidden for so long, no one will believe you." Trent's expression hardened. "No one has ever believed my side of the story, thanks to you!"
The three of them could still hear Stan begging for Shelly's help upstairs. A loud slam of a door immediately followed.
"Fine, be that way!" Stan snapped. "And I bet your date took one look at you and ran away screaming!"
The door opened. "Say that again, turd! I dare you!"
More cries of pain and frantic apologies followed. Kyle and Cartman couldn't help but cringe at Stan's suffering. Trent, however, seemed amused with the situation.
"She seems nice," he said. "But enough talk. It's time for you to get what you deserve."
"Beat Kyle up first!" Cartman exclaimed. "He's a daywalking Jew!"
Cartman, ignoring Kyle's protests, shoved him toward Trent and ran for the stairs. Trent watched him go, then yanked the drumsticks out of Kyle's shaking hands. He didn't understand what Cartman had meant by that insult, but he didn't mind beating up Kyle first. The fat coward would get his turn soon enough.
"No! Please! Stay back!" Kyle begged, holding up his empty palms.
Trent ignored his pleas and swung at him with the fat end of a drumstick. Kyle ducked and backed away. Trent swung at him a few more times, but Kyle managed to dodge the blows. Frustrated, Trent flung the drumsticks aside and knocked over the floor lamp by the couch in Kyle's direction. Kyle got out of the way in time and ran out of the room as fast as he could. Trent kicked the lamp out of his way and followed him.
"Get back here, dammit!"
Cartman listened from the top of the stairs, then turned and ran to Shelly's room. Stan was in front of the door pulling the back of his underwear off of his head and rubbing a bruise on his cheek.
"Stan!"
"I tried, Cartman, but she's not going to help us-"
"Stan, Trent's downstairs!"
"What?! How did he get in?"
"The back door. Come on, we need to get out of here!"
Stan faced Shelly's door with a glare. "You hear that, Shelly?" he yelled as Cartman grabbed his hand and began to pull him toward the stairs. "Trent's here and he's going to pulverize us, just like I said!"
Shelly didn't reply because she was busy listening to some music on her iPhone. But even if she had heard Stan through her headphones, she wouldn't have cared about their situation.
In the kitchen, Trent caught up to Kyle and shoved him from behind, making him trip and bang his arm on one of the lower cabinets. Kyle slumped to the floor and curled into a fetal position as Trent advanced, waiting for the inevitable.
Sparky, who had been eating from his dog bowl, looked up and began to growl at Trent. He knew an intruder when he saw one, and he didn't like the way he was treating his master's best friend. The dog ran over to Kyle and stood in front of him, shielding him from Trent.
"Move, you stupid dog!" Trent commanded.
Sparky stood his ground and continued to growl and bark loudly.
"I said MOVE!" Trent yelled, aiming a kick at Sparky's head.
The dog sank his teeth into Trent's boot before the kick could connect and viciously shook his head. Trent lost his balance and fell flat on his back. He tried to pull his foot free, but Sparky wouldn't let go. Kyle, amazed at this stroke of dumb luck, quickly got to his feet and ran back into the living room, where Stan and Cartman were cautiously climbing down the stairs.
"Wait, where's Kyle?" Stan asked when they reached the bottom. "Did Trent get him? We have to help him!"
"No, we don't," Cartman answered. "Kyle, uh, said he'd try to distract Trent while we escaped and got help."
"Oh I did, huh?" Kyle exclaimed. He ran up to them and punched Cartman in the face.
"Ow!" Cartman cried and rubbed his cheek. "That fucking hurt, Kyle!"
"You left me to die, you son of a bitch! I'd be a bloody pulp right now if Sparky hadn't saved me!"
Stan restrained Kyle before he could hit Cartman again. "Kyle, calm down! We need to go find Mysterion!"
"Fine," Kyle replied, "but then I'm going to beat the living hell out of you, Cartman!"
Meanwhile, Trent finally managed to get his boot out of Sparky's mouth and stood up. As Sparky made ready to pounce on him, Trent spotted a chew toy on the floor. He quickly picked it up and waved it in front of the dog. Sparky stopped growling and his eyes followed the toy's movement. Trent threw the toy at the far end of the room and Sparky darted after it. Trent escaped back into the living room, where he saw Stan, Kyle and Cartman running out the door.
"Hey!" Trent yelled. "I'm not finished with you yet!"
The boys yelped and scrambled away like bats out of hell. Trent bared his teeth and sprinted outside after them.
"Not another chase!" Cartman whined. "Anything but that!"
"If you insist, Cartman," Trent chuckled and quickened his pace.
Hi everyone! Thanks for all the reviews and PMs, I really appreciate it! I would have had this chapter out sooner, but I was busy performing in my school's play about the Grimm's Fairy Tales. I'll try to have the next chapter posted soon!
"No More Mr. Nice Guy" seems like a good song to describe Trent, doesn't it? :)
