Disclaimer: I do not own Kim Possible.
Today's subject: No Powers.
Sir was idly walking down the hall reading off the reports to Darkon.
"Let's see we lost over two hundred of our best Eyeder's, mostly the first twenty to the initial attack, forty when D.N. Amy arrived and the rest trying to detain you Darkon and I just got to wonder are you feeling any better now?" Sir said looking over his clip board at Darkon who was sitting on the ground with out any dark matter; his darkness it was all gone and all that was left was his eyelids, the eyestalk nerve tail and what used to be his large eye with a regular red color, instead it was now blue with yellow splotches around his pupil.
Darkon only just wiggled his pink extension out the back of his eyelids in something of a confirmation and to start the next subject with out him while he goes to roll in a bin of hot sauce.
"You want to roll in a bin of hot sauce?" Sir asked feeling a bit weird, knowing that hot sauce wasn't good for anybodies eyes especially not the one Darkon has being most of his body mass, in any case it was rather cruel what he did to his Eyeder's and he should have never built them all with pain receptors the good news was that Answar was salvageable however his core memory unit was launched into space seconds before his destruction by implosion.
Darkon glared at Sir angrily wiggled the tail and then reiterated something in his frantic optic nerve wiggling that translated the meaning more clearly, 'those poor robots' Sir thought on the side.
"Oh, sorry you wanted to go to sleep and make sure no one disturbs you till you regenerate back your missing darkness and recovered from that terrible hangover you have." Darkon's eye softened in appearance then he bounced in place turning in mid air and bounced down the hallway towards his room, leaving Sir to make sure everything went well on his own and how he hated when Darkon couldn't handle anything.
"Well better get this over with, they need to know what Darkon did so I guess I'll show them the news on TV, there is not one time Darkon has gotten drunk and didn't end up on the news." Sir said while entering the room to find Ron lounging in the recently installed Bueno Nacho area, Kim was spending her time reading a good book it was 'a tale of two and a half robots in a mechanical city', Shego was relaxing and getting her back rubbed by a Eyeder that survived the villains attack and Rufus was just guzzling cheese far past the limit any normal talking rat should be capable of.
"Hey look it's the owner of the frequent dier's card, AHHHH…. YEAH RIGHT THERE… man Loost Neen Spacer you got some great fingers." Shego was so into it while the Eyeder just rolled its eye towards the ceiling while making sure not to pressure Shego to hard and ease all the tension out of her.
"I wish Willy Robi Sun was around now, I should have warned him of the danger and it was to late when DNAmy's three legged spider destroyed him with its molecular short ranged hot spit." Shego really wasn't paying attention to what he said, since he was doing to good a job.
"I'm surprised Darkon never gets sued for the flagrant references his robots are named after, HELLO EVERYONE MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!" Sir said loudly and then motioned everyone to come over to the couch.
"This should be good." Shego said with a sarcastic remark and she really didn't feel like moving, Ron however grabbed a large batch of Naco's that were molecularly treated not to leave him fat if he over eats and went over to the couch with Kim and sat down at the TV.
"Would it please you to know I could just carry you over there and continue my functions?" Shego gave a sigh as if to reply to his question, which he just gave annoyed beep and moved over to the couch carrying and continuing to knead Shego's shoulders.
Sir just turned on the TV with the click of a remote he just pulled out and set it to the news.
"In another story today the city of Atlantis was yet again tragically sunk to the bottom ocean for the hundredth time, not any one person should feel guilty about this because just about any one could do this now a days, in other news the Apocalypse apparently has appeared in northern Canada the good news is that nothing lives out there and no one was hurt by the devastation seen here." It showed what used to be a mountain and forest, then it showed something too disturbing to describe.
"And this just in we have breaking news with our (Blank) reporter Trixia Takibawa on what appears to be all of Kim Possible's greatest villains all arrested at the scene of a privately owned laboratory where a funny bright green man happens to work." They all looked to Sir with questioning glances because he was in the room almost all day with them yesterday.
"Every one of these villains where apprehended by the guard bots and quickly arrested, except for Adrena Lynn and her camera man who sadly lost his camera in the action that has appeared here today, because they technically only trespassed on private property they have set bail, the reason why they didn't get a breaking and entering charge is because there's a large gaping hole in the wall right there as you can clearly see and enter being repaired by the strange guard bots." Then Sir switched off the TV and turned to the five watching the TV, Eyeder's counted as living thinking beings.
"That is what happens when you give Darkon caffeine; he sinks Atlantis, causes a minor apocalyptic vision in a mostly barren place and then finishes off with destroying a batch of livestock in mercy killing in Texas before they are slaughtered for hamburgers." They all blinked at that last one and no one brought up the question as to why they weren't warned or even told of what happened earlier, but somehow Darkon managed to stop all those villains at once.
"But they didn't say anything about… never mind I don't want to know and I could always ask Wade later, what's today's power?" Sir gave Kim a look holding up the remote when she was about to ask about the reason he said that last bit about Texas, but thought better of it and asked a better one, then she wondered how come Wade hasn't found out about Darkon yet and sent her on any mission to stop him before.
"That's just it; today's powers are brought to you by the fact of what you're or any other human are naturally capable of… In short you don't have super powers today and you have the basic of what is actually capable of humans, like muscle/photographic memory seen mostly in martial arts and detective agencies and there are better pro's to not having super powers." They all looked at Sir as if he was crazy.
"Dude how is it having super powers not be anything but good, my mystical monkey powers though I may not like it much is rather cool." Ron saw Sir pull out a chart.
"Let's see, transforming into this dumb orange hulk every time you overeat is more of a weakness then strength, having no powers against someone who does tends to lead the person who does to letting out their flaws like Shego and Kim for example, Kim is better off because Shego thinks she's so much better with her powers and has her own overconfidence holding her back, plus as any one who gets super power would know, they usually create or start a chain reaction of bringing villains into the world." Sir had an interesting slideshow going showing how several people became villains because of Hego and his bossy attitude which included Shego, then the next slide showed Hego getting tutored by the person who would one day become the Mathter one villain that would be able to easily destroy Darkon with that calcu-lasers antimatter setting and finally several other heroes who made their own villains by pure coincidence.
"So Kimmie could possibly be responsible for creating villains as well as stopping them?" Shego had to ask with a smirk because she didn't know anyone Kim had turned evil on accident or purpose; however Ron scared her that one time he turned into Zorpox with his fruity costume.
"She's not a super hero, so it's less likely to happen that she'll ever create her own worse nemesis, so far I got it marked down for Bonnie Rockwaller and you are not a nemesis as so much a friend she likes to fight… a lot, it says here that most people see you acting as a older sister/roll model and the other half which can't guess your age state that you'd have a romantic relationship with Kim as it goes, it is highly probable when two people on the opposite sides of the law fight and respect each other in a base of honor, however same gender is less then likely for that to happen and it would be more of a friendship basis." Sir said looking to see if anyone had any more questions, but what he failed to realize is that all three people on the couch had suddenly gone blank.
"Dude that is sick and wrong, but it might be right… so is there anything else to not having powers?" Ron looked at Shego and Kim who were now on opposite sides of the room mumbling to their selves that they'd never fall for that kind of set up.
"Yes, people without supers powers don't have the weaknesses of those who do, like super hearing can be blown out with a loud sound, the power to fly and you end up running into a super sonic jet in mid flight, the power to talk to animals could inevitably back fire if your not on any animals good side, basically I think it's better to rely on yourself and your environment more so then a super power that might fail you in your time of need." Sir went over to Eyeder whispered something to it, then handed him a sheet of paper and then it went off.
"M' where go?" Rufus said still sitting on the couch next to Ron.
"I sent it to check up on Darkon and see how's he is doing and hopefully he'll wake up tomorrow, if not he's got a two day sleeping period coming." Sir then sat down next to Ron to watch some TV.
"Yeah I got one thing to ask, what about heroes who use gadgets?" Ron really wondered if a gadget counted as a super power or just a tool.
"Extensions of the people who use them and should not be entirely relied on, if you keep your body and mind healthy, maybe some flexibility training you can do some pretty interesting acrobatic stuff to fight someone, which probably explain Kim being a cheer leader and a good fighter, but it always helps to have a knowledge of your surroundings so you know what to use and what not to use as a weapon or something to help you out of a dangerous situation." Sir then waited for the inevitable 'end chapter', but it never came and Sir just sighed.
"You know I wonder how he gets these naco's to taste so good." Ron said stuffing his face happily until his cheeks were loaded with a full naco.
"It's always quite strange what some humans are capable of, if you want to know more about the capabilities of those without powers look up some Guinness World Records and tell me a normal human isn't capable of doing things beyond their natural bounds with sheer determination." Sir then waited again for the chapter to end.
"I've read something about someone surviving at least being struck by lightning three times, which is almost impossible for a human to do, in any case I remembered Gill as another one of Ron's nemesis was actually caused by him switching his swimming time to Gill, Wannaweep was a place of evil." Now Sir was just getting edgy about something, he wanted the chapter to end, but what exactly was missing... he moved off the couch and looked up and his eyes widened.
A giant 'End Chapter' sign was hanging above Sir and it looked like it was made entirely out of steel and the ropes holding it up started snapping at a fast pace.
"This is going to hurt… hey wait wasn't Zorpox blue like Drakken and didn't Warmonga say that the great blue…." The end chapter sign fell on him sending a wall of his unusual innards flying everywhere.
"Emergency END CHAPTER sign activated…. End Chapter."
