The drive to Brighton was sombre. Barbara had retreated into her shell and Tommy was torn between anger and fear. They had made such progress that evening and now Cantree had to spoil that too. If he had not died so inconveniently, Tommy thought he may have been at home, making love to her. Instead, he was driving through fog to see the dead body of a man he despised.

Barbara had been so insistent on going immediately that they were still in their evening wear. He had rung Lafferty and asked him to smooth their way at the Brighton morgue, but arriving dressed as they were was likely to raise eyebrows and questions. So far they had kept their relationship quiet. Tommy had not even confided in Winston, although he suspected he had guessed.

"Do you want to stop for coffee?" he asked when he saw a sign for a service centre.

"No, but stop if you need it to stay awake."

He drove on. Regardless of the outcome, it was better to get this done quickly.


Barbara felt numb. Cantree had deceived her, demeaned her, abused her and yet even in death he held a strange power over her. She knew Tommy was worried. Their relationship had been progressing well. Barbara had enjoyed their kiss. She had been prepared to let Tommy begin to make love to her. She wanted to feel his naked skin against hers and have his lips explore the places she had kept hidden from him. She wanted to explain to Tommy why this was important to her, if only she understood it herself. So she sat in silence, knowing that the man she loved suspected the worst, but unable to reassure him.

The morgue was overwhelming to the senses with white tiles, stainless steel and too-bright fluorescent lighting. It was sterile in all senses of the word. Tommy flashed his warrant card and a smile then proceeded to give plausible reasons about ongoing investigations into Cantree in order to view the body. "Sergeant Havers knew him better than me. I'd like her to view the body also."

"Certainly." The morgue attendant reminded Barbara of Vincent Price. He snarled a smile and Barbara flinched at the glimmering gold edge of his side tooth. She was beginning to regret coming down.

Tommy put his hand in the small of her back as he opened the door for her. She looked up and saw him smile reassuringly. His eyes betrayed his pain. "Maybe you should find out more about the accident. I can view the body, Sir."

"If you're sure." Barbara heard the angry edge to his voice.

"I am."

Cantree's naked body was laid out on the gleaming porcelain autopsy table. Just a small, crisply starched white cloth covered his genitals, giving him much more respect than he deserved. The blood had been washed away and Barbara could see the large, purpled gash in his leg. He had died when his femoral artery was severed by a piece of metal, and Barbara was pleased that it was not a quick death. His face was unmarked which disappointed her. She had hoped he would be badly disfigured. As she stared at the body, she heard Tommy call the attendant over. It gave her an opportunity.

"Bastard. I hope you suffered and that you rot in hell. Because of what you did and what you said I wanted to die. That man over there loves me. He found me and he stopped me giving up. He doesn't make me feel grateful for his attention, or force me to think I am only someone because of him. He doesn't use me. He doesn't steal from me. But you, you piece of shit, have come between us. You were right. I was was a fool. I was desperate to feel loved and I fell for your line. But I never loved you. I never needed you. You thought I did but I was using you as much as you used me. But once I knew what you were, I was ashamed. Having you inside me made me feel like I was sewerage. I couldn't bare the thought of contaminating Tommy. What we have, shouldn't be tainted by what you made me. Every time I wanted to love him, your face loomed in front of me, jeering. All the way here I imagined defiling your body like you did to me. I would, but they'd punish me and you are not worth it. So as I stand before your miserable body I swear you have no hold on me now. Never again will I even think about you."

She turned to walk away then came back to him. "And maybe I was a dead fish because you were a lousy fisherman!"


Tommy saw Barbara dash past the office and outside. He thanked the attendant and rushed after her. She was standing by the back of his car staring at the sky. "Are you okay?"

When she turned he could see she had been crying. "Yes. I'm free Tommy. I'm finally free."

He cautiously embraced her and she hugged him hard. A wave of relief engulfed him. "We both are. Do you want to drive home or shall we try to find a hotel?"

At two o'clock on a Saturday morning he had no idea how local hotels would react to a man in a tux and lady in evening wear checking in without luggage would be received. He would definitely pay with his Lord Asherton platinum card. Rank sometimes did have its privileges.

"Could we go to Howenstowe?"

Tommy frowned. It was odd for her to want to go there. "I suppose we can. It's nearly six hours from here." He watched her face. This was important to her. "I'll need to stop for coffee."


"Tommy?" Lady Asherton came out of the stables as her son's car came to a stop on the gravel drive.

"Good morning Mother," he said as he climbed from the car and stretched.

"Tommy. Barbara."

"Morning Lady A," Barbara said cheerily.

His mother frowned at him. "Should I even ask?"

"It's a long story and right now I just need sleep. Barbara dozed a bit in the car."

"You don't need an excuse to visit. Your room is made up."

Tommy was pleased that Barbara took his hand. As he entered the room he stripped of his jacket and tie and kicked off his shoes. He opened his dresser and tossed Barbara an old tee-shirt. "I'll use the bathroom first."

"Okay."

He was quick and began to undo his shirt and belt as he returned. Barbara was still struggling with the straps of her shoes. "Do you need a hand?"

"No, I'm fine. You get into bed. I'll be there shortly."

Despite the creeping exhaustion that threatened to overwhelm him, he stayed more or less awake until the warm figure in a tee-shirt climbed in beside him. Her arm crept over his stomach. He put his arm over her to make sure she was there. He closed his eyes and was instantly asleep.


When Tommy woke it was nearly noon. He sat up in a panic. Barbara was not beside him. Ignoring house rules he dashed downstairs to the kitchen in nothing but his trunks. "Thomas Lynley!" his mother exclaimed, "where are your manners?"

Barbara was sitting on a chair on the other side of the table, dressed in a pair of his jeans, rolled up at the the bottom and synched in with a belt. She had on one of his checked farmshirts and was sipping innocently on a coffee. Her hair was damp and messy but her eyes were shining. "Sorry, I thought I had misplaced my little hillbilly."

His mother and Barbara both started to laugh. He joined them and it soon became one of those sessions of uncontrolled laughter that Winston liked to watch on the internet. They would regain their composure only for one of them to start tittering which would set off the others. Finally they stopped. "I might have a shower," he announced.

"Then I thought we might go on a picnic."

Tommy assumed they would walk up to the cliffs but Barbara insisted that they go back to the grassy bank by the waterfalls. He had really had enough driving but she seemed to have her heart set on it.


He took the picnic basket and led the way. This time she was more sure-footed. Tommy put the basket down and looked for the rug. "Have you got the rug?"

"I thought you had it."

"I'll go back. Don't go anywhere."

"I won't.

He returned ten minutes later and was alarmed. Barbara was not in the clearing. "Barbara?"

"Over here."

He turned in the direction of the pool but couldn't see her. Then her head broke the surface of the water. "Are you mad? It's freezing in there!"

"Come in."

Tommy looked around and noticed her shoes, jeans and shirt piled neatly by the bank. He had a thousand reasons why this was a bad idea. Barbara stood facing away from him. He could see her back was naked. He kicked off his shoes as he pulled off his shirt then tore frantically at the stubborn studs of his jeans. The water was bracing but not as cold as he expected.


Barbara watched as he stroked towards her. He looked excited but apprehensive. She stood and faced away from him. She heard him gasp when he realised she was naked.

"Barbara?"

She turned and let her arms fall by her side. Tommy's reaction was perfect. The shock on his face soon changed to adoration. There was a lustful glint in his eye but she could tell he understood. He scambled under the water and his trunks floated off with the current. He stood and walked slowly towards her, meeting her in the same way, naked and unafraid.

She could not help but admire his body. It was white and slightly soft but had underlying strength. It matched him well. She had seen most of it in recent weeks but she was not disappointed with the parts she was seeing for the first time. She knew this was right. They would be good together.

When he reached her they embraced then held each other as if life itself depended on it. "I was so worried," he said with a catch in his voice.

"I had to see him. I know he couldn't hear me but I had to have my say. I had to be free of him Tommy so that he never again comes between us. It was here you asked if we could ever be more than friends. Yes, now we can."

"I love you."

"I know. When we were here last time I said the water was cleansing. It is. I... I no longer feel my body is soiled. It doesn't belong to him, it belongs to you Tommy."

"It belongs to you Barbara, no one else. You can gift it to us as I gift mine but I don't own you. I love you, I want to make love to you. I want you to make love to me. We can be one but I never want to control you. Not that I think I ever could."

Barbara pulled him down towards her. The kiss started slowly, just as it had at the ball. This time both of them wanted more and slowly the kiss intensified. They both groaned as their tongues first touched. Waiting so long had given the moment special meaning. Years of confused feelings, near misses, mistakes and love untangled themselves in a conversation of fire, gentleness and love.


Back on the bank Tommy spread the blanket. Unhurriedly he kissed every inch of her body discovering ways to make her laugh and groan and beg. After her earlier warnings, he had expected he may need to coax her over time to make love to him. It was a needless concern. Barbara explored his body eagerly. Her fingers and tongue communicating love in glorious new ways.

They postponed the inevitable as long as they could. Tommy worried that after the build-up he would disappoint her by being too quick. He wanted this moment to be one she remembered forever for all the right reasons. "I love you," he whispered in her ear.

"I love you too, but I need you Tommy. Now!" Her hands were on his buttocks pulling him towards her.


All the way home, Barbara could not stop grinning. Every time she looked over at Tommy they both sighed and groaned. Twice he pulled over just so he could kiss her. They had been tempted to go further but neither of them wanted to make love on the shoulder of the A39.

She knew straightaway that his mother could tell what had happened. They made no excuse or pretense. Tommy had held up the picnic basket and informed her they would dine in his room. Lady Asherton had beamed almost as much as her son. Tears had welled in her eyes and when caught Barbara's attention, she silently thanked her.

As soon as they were inside his room his eyes darkened. She kissed him hard as he stripped her of his old clothes. When he started to remove his shirt she stopped him then hastily unstudded his jeans. He growled as he lifted her and pushed her against the wall. It felt wonderful to be desired. Tommy loved her mind, body and soul.

Afterwards, they cuddled lovingly on the bed exchanging sweet caresses and long, sensuous kisses. Barbara slowly removed his clothes to feel his naked skin against hers. "You're insatiable, Barbara," he chuckled, "but it's wonderful."

"I'm hungry too."

Tommy nuzzled behind her ear. "I can tell."

"For food."

Tommy sat up and laughed. "We could eat our lunch."

"Thought you'd never ask."

Barbara opened the basket and retrieved the foil wrapped sandwiches and handed him a beer. She watched his face as he ate. It took him three bites to realise. A smile spread across his face. "Tuna!"

"Yeah, when I was at the morgue, I understood that without Cantree, we would never have found our way to each other. I also knew that a sandwich would be the only dead fish at our picnic."

Tommy threw his sandwich on the floor and took her in his arms. He kissed her tenderly before they slowly made love.