Chapter 7: Safe
Tearing up the paper is invigorating.
The fingernail marks in her palms are almost gone now, and she's headed for the hallway, feeling both calm and energized. Focused.
She'll have to thank Tsukki later- indirectly, of course. Shortcake was out... hmm. She looks back at him over her shoulder, knowing she can't leer like him... but a sarcastic reply is the next best thing, right?
"Come on," she teases, "we'll be late if you stare at me any longer."
Ren turns back around to hide her blush. Her thoughts keep going back to Tsukki's embrace. His hand slung around her waist, his other hand covering the back of her neck, his fingers drifting into her hair, how inexplicably safe she felt in his arms...
"Tch."
She smiles, and they head for their classroom, miraculously not late as they take their seats. Setting her bag beside her desk, she takes out her work and tucks her math textbook in her desk. The murmur of conversation halts with the bell, and she looks up. Tadashi offers her a discreet wave, which she returns before facing back towards the front of the room.
Her gaze falls on Tsukki. He's propped his chin up with his hand, his gaze aimed at something out the window as he quietly drums his fingertips on his desk.
She imitates his posture and drums her fingers on her desk, earning a muffled 'pfft' from Tadashi. Tsukki's eyes flick to him and then to her. Offering him a lazy grin and a halfhearted salute, she turns her attention to the homeroom announcements.
Or, well, she pretends to pay attention. She's listening to the song in her head. A song that gives her purpose- and an idea that makes her eyes shine with a dangerous glint.
The teacher asks them to pull out their homework to pass in and requests they open their textbooks to continue where they left off the other day. He writes a few example problems on the board that Ren hastily copies over and solves in her notes. It's not long after she starts writing song lyrics in the margins that her teacher asks for a volunteer.
She looks up at the board, straightens her back, and extends her hand towards the ceiling.
The movement does not go unnoticed.
She feels Tsukki's eyes without even glancing in his direction. She's not curious. Not at all. Nope.
Her glance is just long enough for him to give her a lazy, vaguely intrigued blink.
The teacher, about to call on someone else, calls her name instead. "Aihara-san."
Ren is well aware that she's never been one to volunteer answers unless specifically called on. She feels the curious eyes upon her as she pushes her chair back, stands, and walks towards the blackboard.
Her steps sound loud in the silence of the classroom. And then she's in front of the board, a piece of chalk in her hand- she rolls it between her fingertips and holds it up. Without hesitation, she presses the end against the slate. Scritch.
The sound that grates on her ears is oddly satisfying.
Taking care to write large so that the students in the back can see, she works through the equation, using a shortcut but showing the step off to the side. After neatly boxing in her answer, she sets the chalk next to an eraser with a soft click and returns to her desk.
Tadashi gives her a thumbs up.
The answer is right. She knows it, and does nothing to hide her smile.
Don't apologize.
Ren doesn't feel apologetic in the slightest. She smooths her skirt and sits back in her chair as her teacher asks if there are any questions.
The only questions she has are about Tsukki.
Just what the hell is that look in his eyes and why the hell is it making her thoughts run wilder than ever before?
Ren sits with Tsukki and Tadashi on the roof, alternating between slurping her noodles and looking out at the sky. Cold soba never tasted as sweet as it does today, she declares.
"Oh?" Tsukki smirks at her.
She must have spoken aloud. Elbowing him in the side, she purposefully takes a loud slurp of her noodles before answering him. "Yep."
Tsukki, already finished with his noodles, simply drinks the broth without making much noise. The only sound being the barely audible glug of his throat.
"Ren, what're your plans for Saturday?" Tadashi asks from Tsukki's other side.
She frowns, rifling through her mental calendar. "I'm volunteering at an aikido demonstration after school," she says after a moment. "But I should be free after that. Did you have something in mind?"
Tadashi shakes his head. "Nope!" he replies lightly. "Our practice shouldn't run long, so we might come by. Where's your demo?"
"Back at Chidoriyama, actually," she answers. "Hayato-sensei asked for me. There's a student group coming by, and I'll be helping with translations too."
"Cool!" Tadashi exclaims, clapping his hands together in excitement. "I'll see if Yachi wants to come." He turns to Tsukki. "Should I invite the duo?"
"Whatever," Tsukki says, sealing his thermos and setting it on the ground next to him.
"If you can promise no giant disruptions and no destruction, the dumbass duo can come," Ren says with a straight face before finishing off her broth. Leaning back against the wall, she looks up.
The clouds are flooding in, and she can taste a hint of rain on the breeze. The song from earlier drifts into her thoughts.
Doubts will try to break you,
unleash your heart and soul
trouble will surround you,
start taking some control
Ren stands and walks over to the corner of the roof, another idea taking root in her consciousness, and throws an arm up in victory against the darkening sky.
She's not who she was- that's not true. The surprise of the thought flickers across her face, and she's glad they can't see it.
She's the same as she was years ago... she's just gotten really good at shoving that part of her away. She's gotten really good at denying herself.
Her hand falls back to her side, and she stares at it. How did it go?
The greatest power is that which... she gives herself.
She looks over at her friends. Tadashi offers a smile and Tsukki gives her his signature smirk.
Ren can't help her smile. It's because of them that she found power to give herself in the first place.
Kei adjusts his sports glasses on his nose as he takes a breather from practice. The first years still have a lot to learn. He narrows his eyes at the "dumbass duo," as Ren calls them. They still had a lot to learn, too. Especially in terms of communication skills.
A sigh escapes him. Taking a swig from his water bottle, he goes to stand with Tadashi.
"Tsukki," Tadashi says, "how are the first years doing with blocks?"
Kei looks over at them and frowns. "They need more work."
"Not everyone is as perceptive as you," his friend remarks. "When it comes to most things, anyway."
"Are there exceptions I should be aware of?" Kei asks, covering a snicker as one of the new members misses a toss.
"Tsukki." Kei looks at Tadashi, who is smirking. "Ren came in about half an hour ago," he says, trying not to laugh.
Kei narrows his eyes and scans the room for her, finally catching her next to Yachi. Yachi's pointing at something in her notebook, and Ren is smiling and talking with her.
Tadashi not-so-subtly pushes him in Ren's direction. Kei turns to glare at his friend, but Tadashi just winks. "We're done. I'll get the others to wrap up. Go on," he says, before turning around and using his captain voice. "Let's wrap up!"
Kei makes his way over to Ren and Yachi.
"Hey," Ren says upon noticing him, standing up and re-shouldering her bags. "Ready to go?"
"I need my stuff from the club room."
"Oh. Right." Turning to Yachi, she says a quick farewell and steps up next to him, adjusting one of her bag straps. "Dinner isn't going to make itself," she chides, resting a hand on her hip, but her coffee eyes are light with amusement.
"When dinner can make itself, let me know," Kei replies, heading out of the gym with Ren in tow.
Dinner, it turns out, is Ren's treat at one of the cafes they frequent. Kei would have been fine eating at home, but for whatever reason, she insisted.
Well, insisting was more like her leading the way to the restaurant, pinning her coffee eyes on him with a soft smile, and saying, "my treat."
After ordering their usuals, they take the table in the far corner, Ren shrugging off her club jacket to reveal one of his old dinosaur T-shirts.
"So that's where it went," he says quietly to himself, lip quirking into a partial smile. Her habit of wearing his clothes would never cease to amuse him.
"Kei..." He looks at her, eyeing her lopsided ponytail and the steadiness of her shoulders as she speaks. "When I lived in Hiroshima..." she pauses, looking at her hands, and chooses her words carefully. "When I got around to telling my parents about all... that," she gestures at nothing in particular, "I told them that I wanted to apologize. I mean, that's what kids do, right? Apologize and move on?"
Kei stops himself from replying, knowing it was a rhetorical question.
"They told me I 'had nothing to apologize for.'" Another pause, and she rests her chin on the back of her hand. "I'd repeat that to myself, which worked for a while, but it's not the same as being told 'don't apologize' in the first place."
Ren's eyes change, the coffee turning blacker. "It still hurts," she says, "but it's not an open wound anymore. It's a scar now. And scars fade with time." She peers up at him with a small smile and pink cheeks. "So, thanks. For saying what I needed to hear."
He's stunned by her sincerity. Usually 'thanks' was used sarcastically between them, but he'd used it last night with the shortcake and here she was, returning the gesture whether she knew it or not. "Words have power," he finally replies. "It's a matter of choosing how much they mean to you."
Kei is left to wonder if her eyes light up at his words or at the arrival of their food.
After a quick shower, homework, and shortcake, Ren suggests that they watch Interstellar. Kei likes the movie and really likes the soundtrack, so he agrees, figuring it'll be a relaxing way to end the evening.
He did not anticipate that Ren would fall asleep on him halfway through, her fingers tangled in his. Not that he minded all that much, but watching Interstellar was her idea. Now, he just had to extricate himself from the situation without disturbing her… and her strawberries were making it really damn difficult to do much of anything.
After another minute (maybe more like five), he mutters, "come on, Aihara," sliding slowly to the side and gently extracting his hand. He gets to his feet and she slumps over into the space he vacated, her head hitting the cushion with a soft plop. She lets out a sleepy moan.
Shit. He woke her.
Her face contorts in a frown and she cracks an eye open. She blinks up at him, coffee eyes raw with sleep. "Kei?"
What is with her using his first name? "Mm?"
"Stay." She crawls off the cushions and into her futon, pulling the comforter up to just below her eyes.
He raises an eyebrow. She looks cute. Damn. "It's a bit late to go anywhere," he replies, turning and heading for his bed.
"Keiiiii." It's a different look in her eyes now, but it's equally pulling. "Don't leave. Please."
He's meandering back into the living room and scooting the table out of the way, his feet carrying him to the closet. He pulls out the other futon and unfolds it next to hers, heading into his room and pulling his comforter off his bed and dragging it over to the futon.
Setting his glasses on the table, he relaxes into the futon and looks over at her slightly blurry form. He turns towards her, intending to ask her why, but thinks better of it and stares up at the ceiling instead.
"You want to know why, don't you," she whispers. Not giving him time to get in an answer, she presses on. "Kei, I trust you." She takes a deep breath. "You're safe." She rolls over. "Get some sleep, Kei."
She trusts him? He's safe? He's going to have a headache tomorrow if he isn't careful. Or even if he is careful.
"You too, Ren."
a/n:
This chapter was inspired by and features lyrics from Panic Station by Muse.
Special thanks to all my favorites and followers! I'm glad you're enjoying the story! Review to let me know what you think! Also to help me get to the aikido drama that's coming!
To Immatolazy: Aww, thank you! And more of this story is in the works! Stay tuned!
To Jane412: Thanks! I hope the story keeps impressing you.
To Schlimazl-Is-A-Joke: I like the story too, but it's so nice to hear from others!
Hopefully I'll have another chapter within the next week or so!
