Kingdom Insanity 2

By RedBlackandWhite


RBW's Immoral and Profane Drabble: Hey there. I'm so awesome! Ok my selfishness is gone now. Well I've written 2 stories in the past 4 days. They are called No One Knows You Better Than Your Nobody and Another One of Those Annoying Ego Centric Comedy Talk Shows. Yes very long names I know. Well in the former story (that means the first of the 2 mentioned people), Kairi contemplates Roxas's comment and in the latter story I am a fabulous talk show host and in the first chapter I interview Sora, injuring a few audience members in the progress. People, I need more reviews for this story, I only have 30, and that includes the ones from friends that don't really count. The hits for this story outnumber the reviews 15 to 1. I need encouragement people. No praise, no writing, simple as that. I can't believe that my friend (btw a girl) thought instead of the tango scene it should've been a making out scene. I don't write that stuff. I don't have anything against it though. Just if I tried it would suck. Enjoy this chapter. And REVIEW damnit. Hey there. I'm so awesome! Ok my selfishness is gone now. Well I've written 2 stories in the past 4 days. They are called and . Yes very long names I know. Well in the former story (that means the first of the 2 mentioned people), Kairi contemplates Roxas's comment and in the latter story I am a fabulous talk show host and in the first chapter I interview Sora, injuring a few audience members in the progress. People, I need more reviews for this story, I only have 30, and that includes the ones from friends that don't really count. The hits for this story outnumber the reviews 15 to 1. I need encouragement people. No praise, no writing, simple as that. I can't believe that my friend (btw a girl) thought instead of the tango scene it should've been a making out scene. I don't write that stuff. I don't have anything against it though. Just if I tried it would suck. Enjoy this chapter. And REVIEW damnit.

Current Contest Standings/Review Responses:

SSS&HC: 4.5 out of 5 points + 1 bonus point.

Neassa: 2 out of 5 points + 1 bonus point.

Princess Alexa-Ninja Extraordinaire2006: 3 out of 5 + 1 bonus point, I said guy costumes, I TOLD YOU I DON'T TAKE REQUESTS! (rips spleen out of reviewer)

Doom (): No I am not your whore for this evening, nor Cindy's, and I AM NOT GOING TO RIDE A COW DAMNIT!

NocturnalWriter: 3.5 out of 5 + 1 bonus point, though you spelled Riku wrong.

Sora's GuardianAngel: Good job! 4.5 out of 5 + 1 bonus point, you got Leon's game wrong.

Harmonize: 2.5 out of 5 + 1 bonus point.

Okay it looks like ShadowShapeShifterandHerCat and Sora's GuardianAngel are in the lead, and if nobody else gets a better score, they must battle it out for the host spot! Muhahaha.

Disclaimer: I don't own KH or its characters; alas they belong to people with ethics. Because if I owned KH, things would happen. LOTS AND LOTS of thingsssssss… Muhahaha. But I don't, nor do I own anything else.

Random Note: I'm listening to Polygraph, Right Now! By The Spill Canvas, very good.

Author's Note: I lied. Alexis's hair is GOLD not BLONDE. Sorry for the mix-up.


Of Muffins and Trigger-Happy Blondes

I awoke from my nap very groggy. I would have slept longer if it hadn't been from a girl's distant whining. Wait. A girl? Oh yeah that blonde girl who hijacked our ship with a freakin' lion friend. I tried to listen to her complaining outside my door.

"Come on Riku, just a bite!"

She was answered with a grumpy voice, apparently still half asleep.

"Alexis, I told you, I don't eat breakfast."

I opened the my door to find said people in the kitchen (A/N: The rooms kinda branch off from a common area, which is the center of the ship, if any of you have play Knights of The Old Republic 2 (don't own), kind of like the layout of the ship you have to use.) Riku was standing (well, more like leaning on one foot), quite groggy, and irritable. His hair was ruffled, which is in fact possible, so I assumed that Alexis had awoken more people than just me. She, in fact, was holding out a bowl of muffins to him, waiting for him to take one.

"Please?" she asked once again.

"No." was his flat answer.

Apparently he struck a nerve, because Alexis pulled out a gun (obviously hers) with her free hand and pointed it at him. He didn't react, maybe because he was being calm or that he was just tired and didn't give a damn.

"Come on, we both know that you wouldn't dare do that." She hesitated, and then lowered the gun. "You're right…please?" she asked, putting on a pout that rivaled Sora's. "Ugh, fine." He took one, and Alexis shrieked with glee. He walked away, acknowledging my presence as he passed me with a nod.

He took a bite then threw it away somewhere.

Well, it would've been away if Sora hadn't chosen to open his bedroom door at that moment.

Splat. No explanation needed there.

"WHAT THE HELL?" he screamed, turning around and reentering his room to clean up.

"Good morning." I said, finally awake.

"Morning!" she said, oblivious to that fact that Riku's muffin was currently being wiped off Sora's face and going down a sink drain. I took a muffin, lets face it, I couldn't say no because she'd kill me.

But enough talk about muffins.

"We arrive at Olympus in an hour." She stated, happily. Apparently a morning person (A/N: GAHH I HATE MORNING PEOPLE I GET SO JEALOUS. Does anyone out there like morning people who aren't one themselves?).

"Nice to know." I replied. "Wheres, Ra-, Re-…"

"Rira?" she finished for me. "Yeah her." Alexis pointed towards a lump on the couch. I nodded. She contemplated for a second. "Hmmm… she should get up."

And without another word unholstered her gun and fired it near the lump without even looking. Rira jumped. High. Very high. After the shock wore off, Rira trotted into the kitchen and got a cup of coffee. Wow, a lioness that drinks coffee.

The author is officially out of his mind. Next thing you know Riku is going to turn Emo or Goth, then turn gay. And Sora will kill the author for getting molested or something along those lines. And we can't have that. The author getting killed I mean. (A/N: Haha just kidding we can't have Sora get molested, or can we? Muhaha.)

"Morning Rira, sleep well?" asked Alexis innocently. What a dumb question. The lioness actually answered her.

WAIT WTF? Lionesses don't talk.

Okay the author is just getting weird now…

"WELL IF A CERTAIN BITCH DIDN'T FIRE A GUN AT ME IT COULDVE GONE BETTER!" (0.o cursing, coffee drinking, talking lioness) was Rira's curt reply.

I decided to leave. I found Goofy asleep in the pilot's chair. It seems that he had put on the auto pilot after driving for 5 hours. I saw Olympus out the window and I awoke Goofy.

Donald was doing some random thing in his room so Goofy went to get him. I walked into Sora's room, he was listening to Dethbed by Alkaline Trio (Not mine, though I wish it was, tis an excellent song (I meant to put tis)). I told him to get ready to land. Alexis and Rira where currently fighting in the kitchen. I had to break up their catfight (haha a lioness in a catfight). Riku was watching T.V. again.

"RIKU THAT'S GOING TO MELT YOUR BRAIN!" I screamed into his ear. "I don't care." Was his response. "Well when your brain starts melting, don't come crawling to me. Wait, you couldn't, because then you'd be brain-dead! Haha. Oh, we're about to arrive." I said.

We got beamed down to Olympus, more specifically the Underworld Entrance. We saw a woman being harassed by heartless dogs.

Awww so cute. DIE DIE DIE heartless!

We shooed them away and Sora helped her up. She told us her name Megara. Blah blah blah Hercules blah blah help me please. The usual. We agreed to help her face Hades or whatever.

We went into the Cave of the Dead and fought some heartless. "DIE DIE DIE FEEL MY WRATH!" cried Alexis as she ran around.

Apparently coffee makes her go trigger-happy. VERY trigger-happy.

She got bored and took out her keyblade.

Wait, WTF? (again!)

She had one that looked like a blue jay. Why I don't know. The blade itself looked like the sky when the sun sets. You know, like a pinkish orange. There are so many keyblades we should create like a society. THEN WE WILL RULE THE WORLD! Nevermind. We got to the Inner Chamber finally. A man in a black coat was running away.

HOLY CRAP IT'S DEMYX!

Haven't mentioned him for six chapters now have I? "Run away!" he cried. Sora was confuzzled. "Okay…" he said. We continued to the Valley of the Dead, which was just a bunch of platforms. We got to Hades' Chamber, and Auron was there! (A/N: I have FFX but I never finished I got as far as when Tidus and Yuna make out in the lake and that's it. Wait maybe further.) Yay Auron. We helped out Auron then ended up running away. We got back to the first room and we had to fight Cerberus.

Rira and Alexis did their limit. This consisted of them bouncing around the room like lunatics.

Cerberus died from the scratches and random hits on the head. This didn't stop the 2 from continuing. Finally they stopped. We were introduced to Auron. He then vanished and we went to see Hercules and Megara. Hercules went to get the Olympus Stone because Sora couldn't use his drive in the Underworld and we were all weak.

Phil decided to put us through some training.

It was really fun.

Rira got to smash things and so did I while Alexis went completely trigger-happy-insano. She wouldn't stop laughing her head off while shattering the vases. When we were done Hercules came back and told us that the Olympus Stone had been stolen.

GASP!

So we went back to the Underworld. We found Demyx and he started talking to himself. We attacked him and he pulled out his Sitar (which is in fact an instrument) and summoned water forms. We killed them all and he ran away, leaving behind the Olympus Stone. We then found Megara imprisoned in a stone rock. Sora freed her (thereby unlocking the Underdome, but more on that in like 7 chapters), and we entered the column of light. We found Pete, who sicked Heartless on us. We fought them, and finally Hercules arrived, having defeated the Hydra. Megara left and we fought Pete with the help of Hercules. Well now it was 8 on 1, so we won in 17 seconds (Alexis had a stopwatch handy). Then Hades mentioned that the Hydra wasn't dead, so we rushed back to the Coliseum and found it destroyed.

We encountered the Hydra and started attacking it. Riku, Sora, Alexis, Rira, and I attacked the single head while Donald and Goofy hit it from afar. Sora cut the first head clean off and 3 more appeared. Sora and I went for the left head, Riku and Alexis got the middle head, and Rira, Goofy, and Donald attacked the right one. After those were cut off 8 appeared. Sora jumped on Pegasus's (Hercules' horse) back and killed all of them. Sora received the Hero's Crest keyblade chain, so he leant me the Star Seeker one he had gotten at Yen Sid's tower. We said our goodbyes and got on the ship.


A/N: I'm sorry it took so long; I despised writing this chapter for some reason. Reviews would really be appreciated. Oh and I'm going to Niagara Falls this Wednesday (the 5th) and I won't get back until the 12th. I get to stay on the Canadian side of the border! Don't worry I'll still write in a notebook I'm bringing. I relaxed my hair today and last night so now my unruly curly hair is straight! It's so awesome, but it still isn't perfectly straight. Maybe I could drug Riku and clone his hair, his hair is so awesome… Oh well. REVIEW!