I was obviously in a music-y mood when I wrote this. They just seemed to fit though. Tell me what you think. Should I keep putting songs in my chapters? Or was this just annoying?

Thank you to all who reviewed. It made my happy, especially since three of my fav authors read this. You know who you are! That you so much Bish, Lupin, and Spirit!

And double thanks to Bish, who helped my correct this chapter. Love ya!


Bish sighed, cracking open red-rimmed eyes before snuggling back against the warm body beside her. He was asleep now, and she was glad. Once he woke, she knew he'd return to sorrow. She was happy that for just a few hours last night, she could help him forget. He had grieved enough, and he had needed a break. They both had. So she had comforted him in the best way she knew how. Propping herself up on one elbow, she smoothed his shaggy hair away from his face. She was suddenly startled out of her thoughts by a loud knock on her bedroom door. Frowning, she wrapped a sheet around herself and climbed out of bed to answer it. She peered outside before her eyes narrowed and her ears went flat.

"Hiei." She murmured before looking down.

"Onna…" he began, not liking the fact she had called him by his actual name.

"I'll be out in a bit. Just go." She said before stepping back and shutting the door in his face.

She leaned against the wooden door frame, letting out a long sigh. After a moment, she heard him walk away. That had hurt, but now she had Devir to think about. She couldn't go chasing after some demon that had nothing but physical interest in her. With a small sigh, she locked the door and climbed back into bed. She didn't want to face reality just yet.


Demae looked up when she heard someone walk into the room. Rubbing at her gritty eyes, she stood to greet a woman she had never seen before. She was a small lady, with sea-green hair and innocent red eyes. She named herself as Yukina before she moved over to the injured man in the bed. Demae fidgeted, unsure as to what she should do. All night she had remained by Kurama's bedside, never sleeping, doing anything she could for him. Now that Yukina was here, she felt useless.

Deciding that maybe Yukina would like to be alone, Demae quietly left the room. However, as soon as she was out in the hall, she found herself shoved to the side by an irate fire demon as he stalked down the hall away from Bish's room. She watched him as he left the house, brows drawn down as she frowned. "What has his panties in a bunch?" she muttered to herself quietly as she moved to the sitting room, rubbing the shoulder that had been painfully acquainted with the wall.

In the sitting room, she plopped down. The room was empty for the moment, which she was glad for. Everyone was either sleeping or grieving in their own way. She rubbed at eyes that were sore from lack of sleep, but couldn't bring herself to lie down. Her mind was haunted by the smiling face of Damien as he left this world. It was the thing she hated most about being able to see the dead. She had to watch as they left their loved ones. At home, it was called a gift. Because of her, no one in her village was alone when they died. But to her, this was only a curse. All of a sudden, a song she had heard while with Bish came to mind, and she was unable to help but utter the lyrics.

"One at a time, constants become surreal.
One at a time, heart attacks are concealed.
I can see that I lose the joys of life, one at a time.
Suicides are revealed, you will see that I lost another life.
But tonight…I'll let you tear it up, if you don't wake me up.
But if you tear it, we can't repair it.
So please don't wake me 'til someone cares. But no one cares.
One at a time, I watch them all forget.
One at a time, I'm lost in little deaths.
It's the place that I, I forget my life.
Like tonight…I'll let you tear it up, if you don't wake me up.
But if you tear it, we can't repair it.
So please don't wake me 'til someone cares. But no one cares.
Will put the flood behind me, put out the fire inside me.
Will put the flood behind me, put out the fire inside me.
I'll let you tear it up, I'll let you break it up, if you don't wake me up.
But if you tear it, we can't repair it.
So please don't wake me 'til someone cares.
Now no one cares. Cares, oh!
I'll let you tear it up, if you don't wake me up.
'Cause it's apparent that you don't care and it sunk into me,
'Cause I don't care. Now no one cares."
(The Missing Frame, AFI.)

A choked sob emerged from Demae's lips as she ended her song. To her, it was poignant, haunting and fit this situation all too well. Her normally pleasant and smooth voice had become shaky and cracked in sorrow. Damien's death had touched her deeply, despite the fact she hadn't known him all that well. Maybe it was simply the thought of what could have been mingled with his death and Nikoli's betrayal.

Suddenly not able to stay here, she stood and stumbled outside, forgetting her jacket in her haste to get out, to be anywhere but here. She felt stifled in there, among everyone and their grief. It was choking her, pressing down upon her like it carried the weight of the world. To her, it felt as if she should bear the brunt of all this. It was her fault that Damien was dead and Kurama wounded. If only she hadn't followed Nikoli outside. Then would they all still be together? Would she still be ignorant of Nikoli's double life? She wasn't sure, but this was a lot for her slender shoulders to bear.

Suddenly, it was as if the weight were real. Demae gasped for breath, falling to her knees in the cold snow. She felt as if she was being crushed, as if the very air was being forced from her lungs or as if someone was squeezing the life out of her heart. Why? Why did all of this have to happen to her? She had been happy at home, at being a simple Crow Woman. Now she was caught up in things she wished would just disappear. Gazing up at the sky as she wrapped her arms around herself, she felt hot tears as they fell down her cheeks, leaving burning trails behind that threatened to freeze in the cold air. Taking a deep breath, she staggered back up again. She needed to get back inside, where it was warm, and where she could find comfort. But something kept her standing where she was, shivering in the frozen air.


Bishquet sighed as she dressed. A few hours after Hiei had left, Devir had gotten up and had gone who knows where with his father. Now she had no excuse to avoid Hiei. As she walked around her home barefoot, grabbing breakfast, she spotted a lone figure out in the snow. Grabbing a cloak in one hand and a bagel in the other, she trotted outside, abruptly dumping the cloak upon the shaking shoulders of Demae. Why the girl had come out here without a jacket, Bish didn't ask. She only nodded at Demae's thankful look while chewing on her bagel. She then left the girl, having sensed a brooding demon near by.

She found him where she expected him, in the only tree in the whole village. The thing was pathetic, leafless and bowed by the wind. It was a gnarled thing, but tough. And every spring it managed to send out tiny shoots and flowers for a few weeks. The stolid fire demon just seemed to fit. Hiei knew she was there; she did nothing to conceal her aura, after all. But he didn't look at her, preferring to keep his eyes closed and his arms crossed.

As Bishquet watched him, she couldn't help but think of her situation. She loved Hiei. Yes, loved. And she'd had plenty of time to make sure that was what it was. At first, she had thought it to be a simple infatuation. She'd had many, and this looked to be no different. However, it lasted, dogging her and eating away at her defenses. So she let him in. He only wanted her for pleasure, though, not love. She had grown tired of it, and so very lonely. Despite this, she had thought her heart would break when she found out he wasn't coming when she went back home. In the end, though, it hadn't mattered. Devir had popped up. It wasn't something she had planned, it had just happened.

…Was it possible to love two people?

How conflicted she felt! It was as if her heart was in the middle of a tug-of-war. She had nowhere to turn, and no idea what she was going to do. To choose would break what was left of her demonic heart, so she stalled. It was the coward's way out, she knew, but she was afraid of doing anything else. So instead of staying and speaking with Hiei like she ought to, she turned and went back inside, unable to bear the accusing silence.


The day passed on quietly. There were no more commotions and everyone pretty much avoided each other. Yukina did what she could for Kurama and soon left, instructing Demae in his care, since she seemed to be the only one around who felt up to caring for the kitsune.

Once Yukina was gone, Demae allowed herself to look over Kurama. His condition was nowhere as dire as it had been only that morning. His chest still carried an angry red wound, but it no longer appeared life-threatening. Sighing, she sat in the chair that was placed by the window. It was very late and there was no moon, which caused the stars to shine brilliantly in the midnight sky. Hearing a groan, she fixed her eyes back on Kurama, frowning. Yukina had said he should stay asleep for another day…

Standing up, she hurried to his bedside, bending over him just as one bleary green eye snapped open, confusion swirling in those depths. Groaning again, he pressed a hand to his head as his eye snapped shut. Taking a deep breath, the wounded man sat up, getting a bearing on his surroundings.

"What happened?" he asked.

The moment I said it.
The moment I opened my mouth.
Lead in your eyelids
Bulldoze the life out of me.
I know what you're thinking.
But darling you're not thinking straight.
Suddenly things just happened, we can't explain…

She hesitated, biting her lip, wondering how to tell him if he didn't remember.

"Nikoli…he attacked you and Damien before he left. Damien died." She whispered.

The look that flared to life in Kurama's eyes made Demae reel back in shock and just a bit of fear. There were so many emotions fighting for dominance in that verdant gaze. The pain of his injures, of Damien having died. The shame of not realizing what exactly his son had planned, of not realizing his strength. The anger that one of his blood could turn out so traitorous. And finally, the utter despair. Demae could read it so easily. But then Kurama's gaze hardened, pushing out everything but a cold determination. He began to climb out of bed, batting away Demae as she tried to make him stay put. She knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to go after his son. But he couldn't! He wouldn't last a minute in his condition!

"It's not your fault! Please, lay back down. Things just happen…we can't predict them all!"

It's not even light out but you've somewhere to be
No hesitation…no I've never seen you like this.
And I don't like it…I don't like it...I don't like it at all.

The demon ignored her. He acted like a man with a duty he was honor-bound to follow. Demae shook her head, helpless as she leaned against the wall. What was he doing? He needed to sit down and think through things clearly. But all he could see was his son's betrayal, thrown right in his face. She could tell he wanted answers straight from his son, but Demae knew that if Nikoli ever saw Kurama again, especially in this condition, the half-breed would strike him dead, and that thought chilled Demae to the bone.

Just put back the car keys…or somebody's gonna get hurt.
Who are you calling at this hour
Sit down, come round, I need you now.
We'll work it all out, together.
But we're getting nowhere tonight.
Now sleep, I promise it'll all seem better…somehow…in time.

Kurama was pacing now, fully dressed. He had pulled out a compact from somewhere and was quietly arguing with someone on the other side. Demae pushed a strand of auburn hair behind one ear as she watched him. Who was he talking to? The ogre? Botan? Koenma himself? She shook her head, fixing Kurama with a mournful stare. The fox seemed to sense the look he received from Demae. He glanced over his shoulder to see her, back slumping for a moment as he let his resolve flee, but he soon straightened it again. It seems he was determined to go through with this.

"Kurama, please. Let's talk about this with the others. We can work something out. I know we can." She pleaded, though her words seemed to fall on deaf ears.

It's not even light out
Suddenly…oh, you've somewhere to be.
No hesitation…no I've never seen you like this.
You're scaring me…you're scaring me…you're scaring me…to death.

The demon began to grow frenzied. It was obvious he was meeting resistance from Koenma, and he didn't like it one bit. A snarl seemed to form on his face and his aura radiated anger and menace. Instinctively, Demae shrank back whenever he happened to look her way. His eyes were molten gold. It looked frightening in his normally pleasant face. He was no longer the Kurama she knew. Swallowing sharply, she could feel the burn of tears again as they gathered at her eyes.

Don't…oh (smash)…
Please don't…oh (I do, please, another one)
Don't…oh (smash)…
Please don't…oh (I do, please, another one)

Kurama seemed to smell the tears, no matter how hard Demae tried to hide them. With one last growl into the compact, it was shut, Kurama hanging up on whoever was on the other end. Eyes that still burned gold looked her way before softening. As the demon walked towards her, Demae pressed back as far into the wall as she could manage. No, it wasn't the Kurama she knew. This person was alien to her. It was the Youko, though he hadn't completely been released. The man knelt in front of her before wiping away the single tear that rolled down one pale cheek.

"I will be leaving. Don't break. Stay strong for me." He whispered before standing and leaving the room.

Quickly scrambling to her feet, Demae followed Kurama, quietly begging for him to stop, to not be so foolish. What could he hope to accomplish by doing this? At least take someone else to help! Surely Hiei would go, or Bish, or Yusuke. Anyone! She just didn't want him to go alone. He ignored her pleas, however, and simply opened the door before walking out. Demae stood at the entrance, arms wrapped tightly around her body as she watched Kurama disappear into the blizzard that was brewing. And then he was lost to her.

I'm losing you.
Trust me on this one
I've got a bad feeling
Trust me on this one
You're gonna throw it all away…
With no hesitation
(Smash)

(The Moment I Said It, Imogen Heap)