This one is a little shorter than the other chapters and for that, I apologize. However, I felt this chapter was needed to get the story going to where I want it to go. I hope you'll be happy with it, but if not, I hope you'll come back for the next one ;)
I stood in the shower letting the water pound on my head and run down my body while thinking back to the conversation with Colin last night. I couldn't believe what he'd told me, but also knew he'd not lie to me; at least not about that.
Colin took a deep breath and closed his eyes. When he opened them, he looked at me and said, "I've known Hector longer than you think."
"What do you mean? When did you meet him?"
"I actually met him six weeks ago. I was at a club one night and he was there."
"Hector?" He nodded. "My Hector?"
"Actually, my Hector," he informed me.
I knew Hector was gay and that Colin wasn't, so I was surprised to hear they were in the same club. "Wait. What? What do you mean, your Hector?"
"Just what I said."
"But Hector's gay." Colin nodded. "You're not!" Colin just sat there staring at me. "Oh shit, you? You're gay?"
"I am," he admitted to me.
"But, I've known you forever. Why did you keep that from me? What about the girls you dated?"
"Come on, Gorgeous. You know who my parents were. What do you think they'd have done if I'd told them I like guys?"
I sat there for a moment thinking. "They'd have shipped you off to a military school until you were straight."
"And?" he pushed.
"They'd have beaten you first," I said in a low voice.
"Exactly. I couldn't go through that. So, I kept up the charade that I was "straight" and dated girls."
"But why not even tell me? I was your best friend then," I cried allowing the hurt to come through my voice.
"Because, if I'd have told you, you'd have had to keep a secret as well. I couldn't do that to you. Plus, admitting it you, would have meant I'd have to admit it to myself. Back then, I wasn't ready yet." Colin took my hand, "I'm sorry. I know I've hurt you and you're probably pissed at me. I wanted to tell you sooner. Actually, Hector and I were going to tell you, but then he was called away and I never said a word."
"So," I said as I tried to absorb what he was telling me, "you and Hector have known each other for almost two months?" He nodded. "And during those two months, you two have been a couple?"
"I'm not really sure what we are. During these past six weeks, we talked on the phone, e-mailed, and went out a few a times. We're enjoying each other's company. When he showed up at my house last night, that was the first time we'd seen each other in a few weeks. He called me the night you came here and asked if he could come over, but I told him no and that you were here."
"So, when he pulled you into the kitchen?" I probed.
With a smile, Colin admitted, "At first it was to see if I'd told you yet and then it was for a kiss," as he blushed.
A knock brought me from my daydreaming, "You okay in there, Gorgeous?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" I hollered back as I shut off the water and squeezed my hair.
"It's been an hour and Ranger will be here soon, that's why," he laughed as I heard him walking back down the hall.
When I was dried off and dressed in ten minutes when I was reminded that Ranger was coming over. As soon as I stepped from the bedroom, there was a knock at the door. Colin looked at me, nodded, and opened the door. Ranger stood there dressed in his head-to-toe black, but damn he looked so good.
"Babe," he said as he stepped through the entry.
"Ranger." Ha, take that! Two can play that game.
"Ready for breakfast?" he asked. Before I could shake my head in reply, my stomach made itself known. "Guess that would be a yes."
I kissed Colin's cheek and headed out the door with Ranger. I had no idea what he wanted to talk about, but figured it had to be serious if he was taking me to breakfast.
Ranger led me to his vehicle and, once we were both buckled, he pulled out and headed north. I wasn't sure where we were going, but I figured he knew his way around. After we travelled two blocks, I began thinking that something felt off. Something with the whole Ranger and me situation, but I couldn't place my finger on it. As if he sensed something was wrong, he looked at me, "How are you doing, Babe?"
I was so frustrated with everyone asking me that question that I just finally blew, "Why the hell does everyone ask me that? I don't understand what everyone wants from me. If I tell the truth about how I am, then everyone walks on eggshells around me. If I lie, then I can't stand myself."
Ranger reached over and took my hand, "You don't have to lie to me. I know you, remember?"
"Do you? Do you really know me, Ranger?" I asked him as I felt my voice begin to quiver.
Pulling the car to the side of the road, Ranger put it in park and turned to face me. "What's going on, Steph? I've never known you to question that."
"If you know me so well, then answer me this." I waited for him to nod before continuing, "What happened to me?" The tears sprung free and began rolling down my face. Before I knew what was happening, I was on Ranger's lap with his arms around me and he was whispering in Spanish. What use to calm and comfort me, just pissed me off even more. "Would you stop it with the Spanish shit," I yelled at him.
"I thought you liked it. It's always calmed you before," he said with concern in his voice.
"I use to, but now it just pisses me off. I can't understand what you're saying. For all I know, you're telling me how much of a fuck-up I am and how you're glad I married Morelli and am out of your life."
Looking around, I realized I had no clue where we were or how to get back to Colin's place. Part of me began thinking that Ranger planned that and was trying to get me back to Morelli; after all, he'd sent me back to him before. I knew in my mind that I was being stupid, but it was all that I could think of at the moment.
Sensing a change in my comfort, Ranger looked at me, "Babe, what's wrong?"
"I'm sorry, Ranger. I can't do this. Please, take me back to Colin's. Please?"
I swear he sighed, but nodded, and placed me back in my seat. Pulling back out into traffic, he went around the block and back to Colin's. I sat in my seat, with tears rolling, looking out the window. I didn't want him to see my crying. I didn't know why, but the only place I felt safe at the moment was in Colin's place.
Pulling into the driveway, Ranger cut the engine, "Can I come in and talk to you?"
"Yes. I think we need to," I replied as I opened the door to get out.
When we reached the front door, I was about to use my key when the door opened, "Gorgeous?"
I flung myself into Colin's arms and cried, "I couldn't do it. I tried, but I couldn't. I'm so sorry."
Ranger stepped up behind me, "It's okay, Steph. I shouldn't have pushed."
Colin let me go and I took Ranger into the living room. "Have a seat, I'll get something to drink." I went to the kitchen and grabbed a few bottles of water.
Colin stood at the stove, "Did he force you to do anything?" I shook my head. "Did he say anything to upset you?" Another shake. "Then what's wrong?"
"I need to talk to him, but basically, my mind went into warp speed and thought up all these scenarios that could happen. I freaked." I kissed Colin on the cheek and asked, "Can you give he and I some alone time to talk?"
"Alone as in here, but out of sight, or alone as in go find something to do?"
I knew he was giving me the choice and I appreciated it. Thinking about it, I knew if I asked Ranger to leave at some point, he would. I was safe and, in my heart, I knew that. "Go find something to do." Colin nodded, smiled, and gave me a quick kiss to the head before heading out. When I returned to the living room, Ranger was looking out the window to the woods behind the house.
"It's beautiful out there," I said as I set the bottles down on the table.
Ranger turned to me, and when I saw his expression, I felt my heart shatter. I never thought I'd see the look on his face; he looked like he was crushed or heartbroken. "Ranger? What's wrong?"
With a sad laugh, he shook his head, "It's funny. I never thought I'd hear that from you." He walked over, sat on the beige couch, and reached for my hand in a gesture for me to sit next to him. "I'm sorry for scaring you earlier. I never meant to."
I wanted to tell him he didn't but truth was, I wasn't sure what scared me. "I don't know what happened. One minute, I'm excited to be going to breakfast with you. The next, my mind is telling me that this is just a stunt to get me back to Morelli."
"Steph, I'd never send you back to him," he replied.
"But you did once."
If I hadn't been watching, I'd have never seen the anger flash across his face. It was the same look Joe has before he hits me. I tried not to show fear, but I don't think it worked since Ranger slammed his blank face down and hung his head, "I didn't mean to scare you again." Standing up, he ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, "I don't know what to do here, Steph. I want to help you, but something in me is saying you have all the help you want right now and you won't accept what I offer."
"If a safe house is what you have to offer, then listen to yourself. I'm safe here. Joe won't know where I am until I file for divorce."
"When are you doing that?" he asked as he sat back down.
"I'm not sure. I need to find a lawyer that will take a payment plan. I have no money to my name," I whispered.
"I can get Parkman to help you," he started to say but I interrupted.
"No. I don't want you shelling out more money to help me. You've done enough. It's time I learned to stand on my own two feet. I need to take on Joe on my own. I can't have you helping me."
I knew it hurt him that I'd let him, but I needed to find out how to do this on my own; I just hoped he'd respect my wishes.
Ranger reached across and grabbed my hand, "If you need anything; someone to talk to, yell at, punch, or just a hug, call me and I'll be here. I promise." I watched him lean in and as his lips touched mine in a soft and gentle kiss, it was then that I realized what felt off. There was no tingle. None, zip, zilch, nada. When the hell had that happened?
