It's an Alternate Life

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 7:

As tired as she was, Cindy couldn't fall asleep. Her conversation, real or imagined, with whatever it had been had left her troubled and restless. Admit that she missed Jimmy Neutron? She didn't even like him. Did she? She had never missed him before. And on numerous occasions she had gone out of her way to avoid him. And how could she possibly miss someone who hadn't been gone for even a whole day? Unless – and this thought gave her a sudden chill – unless there was no chance of ever seeing him again. If Jimmy had gone to the moon (again) there would still be a chance, however slight, of running into him again some way, sometime, somehow. Here there was no chance whatsoever. She could never in a million lifetimes hope to again see someone who had never been.

At last she got up and moved quietly to her work desk, where she switched on the study light and opened her backpack. Carefully she pulled out her personal notebook and opened it. Inside the front cover was a picture of her and Humphrey (somehow all the things that had been with her at the time of the change had been unaffected by the extrapolator), but that wasn't what interested her at the moment. Instead, she dug her finger under the top corner, loosening the secret cover beneath and pulling it back to reveal something she had never shown to anyone, not even Libby.

It was picture of her and Jimmy at Retroland after they had won the Lindbergh Elementary candy-selling contest. For most of the VIP tour they had been sullen and withdrawn, communicating with each other only in grunts and monosyllables. But before the tour ended Jimmy had enclosed a particularly annoying mime in a real force-field cube. The sight of the mime changing from his placid performance of "Man in a Glass Cube" to frantically hammering against the invisible walls and yelling loudly for help (and being totally ignored by everyone) had reduced both of them to hysterical laughter. The amusement park photographer had happened to take a photo of them as they had stood there laughing together, and had sold each of them a print. Something about the photo had prompted Cindy to place it in the secret compartment of her notebook and keep it there, although she wouldn't have been able to say why at the time. Now she knew. In those few moments with him she had been happier than she ever had been with anyone else. Every time she had looked at it she could remember the pure joy she had felt at the time, and had wished she could feel that way again.

As she gently ran her fingers over the photo she wondered what Jimmy had done with his copy of the photo. Possibly put it into his infinite hybercube and forgotten all about it, she supposed. Or maybe he had just thrown it away. In this world it didn't much matter.

With a sigh Cindy replaced the notebook in her backpack, switched off the light and returned to bed. From downstairs she could faintly hear music coming from her parents living room stereo. It was a favorite old song of theirs, called "Just Once More", and usually Cindy didn't much care for it. But at the moment it fit her mood, and as she listened to the melody her mind began to compose new lyrics to fit the tune.

He was no one special, just the nerd who lived next door,

Just a minor nuisance too annoying to ignore,

And everything he had to say was always such a bore.

Still, I think I'd like to hear him just once more.

He was always someone very easy to forget,

No one that I ever gave a second look, and yet

Although I never hoped to see him coming to my door

Still I think I'd like to see him just once more.

Be careful what you wish for, for remember if you do

That sometime things you say you can't recant.

And everybody learns one day that wishes can come true,

So only wish for what you really want.

He was never anyone I noticed that was there.

When he came, or when he left, I never seemed to care,

And though he wasn't anyone I thought I could adore

Still I wish that he could be here -

Though I couldn't say what for -

I wish that he could be here -

Just -

Once -

More.

Cindy at last admitted it to herself. What she hated most about this world was not all the things in it that were different. It was what was no longer there.

She missed Jimmy.

End of Part 7.