A/N: I AM SO SORRY. I really am. I wanted to update this but I hit a writer's block so.. :( as of the moment, even if I have to original plotline, I find it kinda hard to continue this :( if you guys have any idea for the plot or plot twists I would love it :) Enjoy!


A twinkling laugh permeated the heavy fog that seems to be a permanent fixture in Natasha's brain. When she opened her eyes, she found herself in a desolate room. Well, room might be stretching it a little bit because there were no walls to speak off. However, it was blindingly white, and the glare hurt Natasha's eyes. It reminded her of a mission where she had to rescue an scientist in Siberia in the dead of winter and the surrounding had been so.. barren and desolate.

Looking down, she saw that she was wearing a light floral summer dress, the straps criss-crossing at her back, and the hem ended just below her knee. It was so girly, and so … innocent. Black Widow never wore things girly and innocent. Sure, she wore dresses that flatter her figure and displays her assets to the fullest, but when she wasn't wearing those (and mostly she only wore them on missions and dates) she was usually in her leather catsuit or training clothes.

She never wore something so not Black Widow and she was confused. And she was even more baffled when she felt a tug on her dress. Turning, she was floored when she looked directly into Steve's eyes.

Steve's eyes set in a child's face.

With her unmistakable titian hair.

The child reached out his little arms to her, prompting her to crouch down and level her eyes with him. Natasha let her eyes roam over his cherubic face, and when the child noticed that she wasn't embracing him, a little furrow appeared between his eyebrows. Natasha nearly doubled-back in shock because it was a tick she saw in the mirror every time she was worried about something. As she was processing this information, apparently the child became impatient because he threw his chubby little arms around her neck and just hugged her.

"Mama!" the child babbled in her hair.

Natasha knew somewhere deep inside that this is her child. Her and Steve's child. However, she was unprepared for the extreme emotions barreling inside her the moment the child claimed her as his mother. When she was still pregnant, she thought of the child in an intangible sense, there, but not really something that she could truly interact with. Not someone who can tug her dress, make her crouch, hug her, and make her heart overflow with what she now knew as love.

Love. That was what she felt for this little boy. Unconditional love. The thought of anything hurting him made her vision go dangerously red. Damn if she let anything touch her son.

Her son didn't let up the chokehold he has on her but that was fine, because she was putting her own arms around his small body as well. She hugged him as tightly as she dared. He was still a kid after all, and she was Black Widow.

"Hello, darling. Hello, James," she said, emotions threatening to congest her voice. She breathed in his own unique baby scent, but underneath that, James was every bit the same as his father. He even smelled the same, too. Clean with just a hint of something that makes it exceptionally Steve's.

Natasha closed her eyes, savoring the moment. It might be a minute, it might have been an hour but James eventually tried to tug out of her embrace. She let him, absorbing each detail on her son's perfect face. Eyes, nose, mouth, cheeks. Oh, look! Dimples!

James was perfect.

James smiled at her impishly, and again it reminded her of Steve whenever he was on the verge of something that would ultimately result in her saying "No," or "Don't do that," or "That's stupid," or even "More."

Her son turned away from her and ran after something and that was then that she noticed her surroundings has changed. Instead of stark white, the place was now awash in green grass, a glistening lake nearby and a lone tree shielding her from the bright yellow sun.

She watched as James hopped up and down, trying to catch a butterfly. She gazed at the idyllic picture of happiness James made for her. She smiled, and suddenly, two strong arms were encircling her from behind.

She wasn't startled, because she knew that it was Steve. His masculine scent wafted to her nose, a more potent and intoxicating version of James'. Steve's head rested on her left shoulder and she leaned into him. Together, they watched their son play and laugh.

Then the scene flickered.

Natasha thought it was just her, maybe she has just blinked or something, but in the next moment, James looked at her in alarm. Her senses were immediately put on alert, body tense to exterminate whatever threat presented itself. However, the arms around her began to tighten, and not in a good way. Steve's scent was replaced with an overpowering odor laced with evil that can only be from Alexei.

"You think you can escape us, Natalia? You thought wrong." Alexei told her in a menacing voice. Natasha struggled with all her might but it Alexei wasn't budging an inch. "You think you're safe up in that pretentious tower? You think you and everyone you are will live a life of happiness when you are a monster?" Natasha tried to scream but nothing was coming out from her. It wasn't because of Alexei crushing her but her voice box felt paralyzed.

A different kind of paralysis engulfed her as he looked at James. James was crying, running towards her with all the strength his little legs could muster, but the distance wasn't lessening. He was stuck as much as he was, the only difference was he was also shouting "Mama! Mama!" at the top of his lungs.

Natasha struggled against Alexei with a new resolve. It was frantic, almost crazy, but she had to go to James. "You can't win against us! Everything you hold dear will die, and when the light in their eyes has faded and you feel each and every thing of their agony will we come after you." Tears were coursing down her face, and she didn't let up screaming even though she all she heard were silence and Alexei's voice.

The skies were suddenly overcast, the sun covered by the ominous clouds. The wind picked up, and Natasha thought she heard other voices. Voices that belonged to her former teammates.

"We could put her under the machine and have it knit the knife wounds and anything else that could be healed so it would lessen the pain…"

"Anaesthetics don't work.. Her blood's got something and we couldn't risk the child."

"We don't have enough time!"

And then pain of another kind made itself known. Every part of her body ached with torment. She felt every injury Alexei inflicted on her when she was kidnapped. Along with the awareness of the pain came also the memories. She flinched, and she closed her eyes for a moment.

"You could deliver the child. Maybe then you can fi-fix her."

Steve's voice.

Wait, what? Deliver the child? But James was already here in front of her!

A new cry of Mama caught her attention. It was different from the others because while the others were merely terrified, this cry was pained, as if someone was hurting James. "Look at малыйJames. Crying out for a mother who wasn't able to protect him. Remember our promise, Natalia. You will beleft with nothing because we are taking it all. Starting with your little son." The pressure around her from Alexei's arms suddenly vanished and she ran towards her son. Natasha seemed to be stuck just like James was at first, but she was able to gradually reach her son. Just a foot shy of James, however, the voices in the wind spoke again.

"Captain Rogers, we, uhh, we have reason to believe that there is no longer a child. Alive, that is."

NO!

Natasha looked back at her crying son, horrified to see him slowly crumble away to dust. It began at his feet, and it crept up to his legs and hips.

"No! No, James! Stay with Mama, baby. No!" Natasha sobbed. She stretched herself as much as she could but she couldn't reach James no matter what. Her son was now howling with pain, his legs and stomach now turned to dust.

"Mama! Mama!" the little boy cried out. Whatever was preventing James from reaching her now affected her again. This time, she couldn't budge no matter how much she moved or stretched and she was forced to witness whatever was turning James into dust made its way into his shoulders and his neck, silencing his tortured "Mama's". "No, Oh God, no. James!" Natasha yelled. It crept up his face where it left Jame's right eye last. She tried to buck against whatever was holding her down but it was of no use. Natasha watched, with tearful and tortured heart, as the last part of her son, James, turned grey and became dust.

Abruptly, she was released from her invisible bonds but she didn't care. Alexei and whatever force it was might as well have suffocated her. She had just watched her son, calling for her help and sanctuary, crumble into nothing but dust. She knelt down the mound of ashes that were previously her son. Extending a hand, she tried to touch it but found she couldn't. Instead, she looked up to the heavens and screamed her heart out.

And everything faded to black.


"What do you mean 'no child'? Alive? Dr. Cho, you must be... No, you're wrong. Our child is alive," Steve said tortuously. "I felt him kick myself! There's no way the child's dead!"

All set of eyes were on the Dr. Cho.

"Uh, Captain Rogers, the machines are not detecting a fetal heartbeat for the past hour. It implies that the fetus, I mean, the baby, is no longer alive," Helen said. "I think what you felt may be just an aberration. The baby might have been alive when he kicked, but right now, the heartbeat just isn't there," Helen's voice was grim and sorry.

Silence reigned in the room. Steve slid soundlessly down the floor, cradling his head and muttering "No, no, no. This can't happen," while the rest of the team just stared at Natasha dumbstruck. Dr. Cho went to Natasha's bedside and spoke, "However, it is imperative that we save Natasha or at least try to mitigate the pain she's feeling. According to her files, she has received a version of Dr. Erskine's serum, no matter how twisted it was by the Red Room. It is, unfortunately, not as strong as the original formula. She can still go into shock and die. The best thing that we can do for her right now is tend to her and deliver the child later."

At first nobody moved, but Bruce came around and started to prep the machine that would knit the knife wounds marring Nat's skin. The machine went whirring and beeped and Natasha was slowly encased by the machine. Banner turned to them after a moment and said, "If that is the case, then we best do damage control first. After the more minor wounds are attended to, we can put her through surgery to remove the shards embedded in her lungs." The good doctor seemed grimmer the more he spoke. "After that, we can decide what to do with the baby. There are still a few more unknown variables we need to know and put into consideration before we can do anything for certain."

"How much time?" The hollow sounding voice came from Steve. "How much time does this machine take? How long until we know what to do with the baby?" He stood up and went to the machine saving Nat's life. He could see inside, see the battered face of

"An hour or two, tops. The initial blood tests I ran with J were teeming with an unidentifiable substance. We don't know yet what it is made of or what it does but as Bruce said, we need all the variables before we can do something definitive," Tony answered. He looked at Steve for a moment and then signal the others to go out of the room. Hill and Fury immediately went out and was followed by Dr. Cho after she had a last look at the machines. Bruce went next and touched Steve's shoulder in a consoling manner then he went out too. Tony was the only one left in the room.

"Cap, for what it's worth, it's not only you who committed a mistake. We all are equally to blame. Don't be too hard on yourself; I know little Red's gonna be against you blaming yourself. As for the child..." Tony trailed off. Steve was still looking at Nat's face through the glass, but there was a telltale glistening of tears in his eyes. One that Steve desperately tried to hold back but cannot. Tony thought that if the same should ever happen to Pepper and their child, well... Steve is a stronger man than Tony would ever be. Tony squeezed Steve's shoulder in a show of support and started for the hallway. The glass doors shut behind him and he heard JARVIS call him.

"Sir, if I may, the tests that you ran earlier has just been concluded. Doctors Cho and Helen are waiting for you in the office." The AI's voice gave nothing but Tony was still worried. Upon arriving in his office, Bruce stood up and handed a piece of paper towards him.

"Tony, you better take a look." Bruce said.

Tony's eyes read the first line of the result. "Wait, is this real?" Tony asked dumbstruck.

"I'm afraid it is, Mr. Stark. I'm afraid it is," Dr. Cho said.


*малый – little

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