A/N: Hey guys! I'm back! Did you miss me? LOL Thank you so much for sticking with this story. It really means a lot to me! I hope you enjoy this update because I had a lot of fun writing it when I finally got over my writer's block. As always please let me know what you thought when you finish! Happy Reading!
I can't say I came prepared
I'm suspended in the air...
Regionals was fast approaching and Mr. Schue was working them to the bone. Even though Quinn had special privileges due to her pregnancy, even she could not escape his heavy handed regime. Despite all of the hard work and strenuous activity, Quinn had to hand it to Mr. Schue - they had all come such a long way! Finn could finally manage not to trip over himself when running choreography and Quinn could actually hear Tina's beautiful lyrical lines. Even Rachel had improved. It was subtle but definitely there. The group as a whole felt more cohesive and she could finally catch a glimpse of the vision Mr. Schuester must have had when he first took over the club.
Quinn glanced over at Mercedes and chewed her lip anxiously. They still weren't speaking but even though it killed her, she respected Mercedes' space. Quinn hoped with her entire being that she would be ready soon even though she wasn't exactly sure she was really ready to speak with her. She had so much she wanted to say to Mercedes but she just didn't know how to say it.
Mr. Schue clapped his hands together catching the glee club's attention. "That's enough for today guys… we'll come back same time, same place and do it all over again. So make sure you get plenty of rest because this isn't even the brunt of the work." The entire glee club groaned, but they knew they had no choice. Despite all of the hard work, everyone was proud of the progress they had made and looked forward to being as polished as they could be in time for Regionals.
Quinn watched Mercedes link arms with Kurt as they headed out the door. Before she looked away, she saw Mercedes look over her shoulder and glance her way. Quinn waved tentatively and Mercedes gave her a tiny smile before leaving. With that tiny action alone, there were butterflies in Quinn's stomach and a small smile on her lips. Even though they were not speaking, Mercedes was still thinking about her and Quinn thought this to be progress. She got up from her seat, pulled her burlap sack over her shoulder and waddled out of the auditorium. As she made her way out the back door toward the parking lot, she heard soft footsteps coming up behind her. Quinn slowed down and turned around. When she saw who it was, she rolled her eyes and picked up the pace.
"Wait! Quinn, please don't leave." Rachel called out, scurrying behind her.
Quinn tried to outrun her but in her current condition it was a losing battle. Berry was beside her in less than five seconds. Quinn closed her eyes and pinched her nose before speaking. "What do you want Rachel?"
"I-I wanted to apologize...I'm so sorry for what I said. It was none of my business and I shouldn't have said anything. I didn't mean it." Rachel flinched when Quinn finally opened her eyes as though she expected her to strike her.
Quinn took a deep breath before responding, "I know."
Rachel's bright brown eyes popped open, surprised and just little confused. "Y-you do?"
"Yes," Quinn replied exasperated. "It's not even really your fault if I'm being completely honest. Mercedes is mad at me not you. But thank you for apologizing."
Quinn turned to walk away but Rachel reached out and grabbed her hand. "Wait…"
"What is it Rachel?" Quinn sighed growing annoyed.
"I-I have a plan," Rachel stated, her lips quivering nervously.
Quinn squinted her eyes. "A plan? For what?"
Rachel's lips quirked into a half smile. "For you to get her back of course."
Quinn stared at Rachel wordlessly for a moment. "Look Rachel...Mercedes kind of doesn't want to hear from me at all so I don't think your little plan is going to do me any good. Please… just let it go. She does not want to talk to me. Trust me, I've tried everything."
Rachel shook her head. "No...not everything…"
Quinn raised her eyebrow, intrigued. "Okay, go on…"
"W-well Mercedes is mad at you for publicly denying your relationship right? I think what you need to do is just the opposite. You should declare your feelings! Don't just tell her how you feel about her but show her...in song!"
Quinn thought it over for a second and realized that Berry was right but she had no idea where to even begin.
"I don't know Rachel... I'm not sure how…"
"Well that's where I come in. Meet me at my place tomorrow afternoon. We'll put Operation: Get Mercedes Back into action."
Quinn nodded in agreement and watched as the tiny brunette scurried off with an extra pep in her step.
Somehow what she would've otherwise called making a deal with the devil actually felt promising. Quinn smiled as she walked toward her sister's car, pondering over what Rachel could possibly have in mind.
Quinn was sitting in Rachel Berry's bedroom. It was pretty much exactly how she'd imagined it. Soft pinks and pastel yellows and big musical accents like her piano rug. It was cozy and welcoming but despite that, Quinn still felt out of place. She sat on her bed tapping her feet nervously as Rachel reached into her bookshelf for her binder of sheet music.
"Okay so I was thinking maybe we could hit her with a Broadway classic and really make a statement. Here, I already picked out a few songs… some of them are duets, but I could change the arrangement for a solo….if you want of course."
Quinn flipped through the sheet music Rachel handed her. Falling Slowly from Once. Without You from RENT. As Long As You're Mine…My Funny Valentine… All great songs, but Quinn wasn't sure they were right for her.
"This is great Rachel, really, but I'm not so sure I can pull off anything from the Broadway catalogue…"
"Nonsense! I'll make something just for you. No trouble at all."
Quinn shook her head. "No… I appreciate this, really I do but none of this feels me. If I do this, I want things to be as organic as possible otherwise Mercedes will see right through me. It has to be right."
Rachel pursed her lips pensively. "Okay, no Broadway...maybe something a little Top 40?"
Quinn scrunched her nose up. "I'm not sure that'll be right either…"
"Okay...umm...well that pretty much cancels out about 90% of the songs I had prepared..." Rachel looked around her room, anxious.
Quinn looked up apologetically. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be picky. I just need things to be perfect. I really messed up and I know if I get this right then maybe we'll have a chance again."
Rachel nodded. "I understand. Well...I guess my mistake was not starting with you first. Maybe if we figure out exactly what you want to say to Mercedes, we can find you the right song for the occasion."
Quinn smiled. "That sounds like a great plan Rachel."
"Great! Let's see…" Rachel grabbed a neon pink spiral bound notepad and a fluffy yellow star pen from her desk. She sat opposite Quinn on her stool with her legs crossed, ready to take notes. "So… tell me how Mercedes makes you feel…"
Quinn felt her cheeks grow warm. Being a very private person it was really weird for her to share this information with anyone, let alone Rachel, but she knew it was the only way to get this done right.
Clearing her throat, she began to speak. "Well, Mercedes is first and foremost my best friend. I know that wasn't always true, especially earlier this year, but ever since I moved in with her, we've been close. We just… I don't know... clicked. She took really good care of me when I was going through a rough time and she always tells me that I did the same for her, but what she did for me was different, you know? There are not many people who would ask their parents to take in a pregnant teenager they barely knew from school…but she did anyway."
Rachel stopped scribbling frantically for a moment and looked up at Quinn. "Sounds like she was a great friend to you Quinn."
"She was," Quinn replied, fondly. "And she never made it weird either. She was always supportive and kind, making sure I had everything I needed. She was really like a sister to me… I never in a million years thought I'd fall in love with her, but when I did, it just made sense for me. Loving her always just felt... right. I always felt safe with her. Like whenever I was with her, that was all I needed. I was home…"
When Quinn looked up, she was surprised to see Rachel staring back at her with tears in her eyes. "Wow Quinn...that sounds absolutely amazing. I-I'm so sorry I messed that up for you."
Quinn shook her head. "No...don't cry… you didn't. Not really. I knew it wasn't right to keep us a secret. Mercedes never wanted that, but I wasn't ready to go public and it wasn't fair to her so..."
Rachel nodded as she wiped her tears. "Well," she replied, reaching out and holding Quinn's arm. "You gave me more than enough information and I believe I have just the song for you…"
The following afternoon as Quinn walked out of glee club and made her way to the parking lot, she ran right into Puck.
He raised an eyebrow when she walked away wordlessly, but he had a thing or two to say to her before she left. "Since when are you best buds with Berry?"
Quinn looked up as the notorious bad boy strode beside her.
"Huh? What are you talking about? We are not best friends."
"Oh yea? What are you then? Study buddies?"
Quinn stopped right in her tracks and rolled her eyes. "What are you really asking me Puck?"
"I saw you at her place yesterday."
"What? So you're stalking me now?" Quinn asked growing annoyed.
"No, of course not. I just clean her neighbour's pool. I was grabbing some supplies when I saw you leave her house."
Quinn sighed before mumbling, "She's helping me with something..." She turned on her heel and tried to walk off again but Puck cornered her.
"Oh yea? Like what?"
Quinn turned around sharply. "What do you want Puck?"
"Nothing…" he admitted sheepishly. "It's just...ever since you moved in with Mercedes, you haven't returned any of my calls. I told you, I don't want to be a deadbeat dad. I know our relationship isn't exactly perfect, but I think we should try to work it out. At least for Beth…"
"Puck…"
"It's not like I'm asking you to marry me or something. I just want to know that we're still in this together."
Quinn sighed deeply. "Look, I appreciate you wanting to be a part of Beth's life and I would never stand in the way of a daughter and her father but… a lot has happened since I moved out. I've moved on."
"To who, Mercedes?"
Quinn tensed at the mention of her name, but she nodded.
"Oh…" Puck replied, kicking at something invisible on the floor. "So then it's true?"
"Yes…" she replied in a small voice as her eyes drifted to the floor.
An uncomfortable moment of silence passed between them, until Quinn couldn't take it anymore.
"Puck... I-" she began, but he cut her off.
"Did you ever love me?" he asked, finally making eye contact.
"I-I care about you, Puck..."
"That's not what I asked…" he replied, his brows knitting together.
Quinn felt her heart drop. "Noah…" she said softly as she reached out to touch his arm.
He jerked away from her. "No. It's fine… It's better that I know now anyway..." He shoved his hands into the deep pockets of his jeans.
Quinn fidgeted with her fingers."I'm s-sorry…"
"Don't be…" Puck replied with a crooked smile. "We don't get to choose who we love..."
Quinn nodded. Lord knows she was well aware of that fact. "You'll still be a part of Beth's life. I mean it. I would never stand in your way."
"I know...and thank you. That means a lot to me."
Quinn nodded again and smiled.
"Well…I'll see you around Quinn."
"See you…"
Puck smiled and turned to walk away.
Before he could leave, Quinn called out to him.
"Puck, wait…"
He turned and looked at her askance.
"I did love you, you know…"
He offered her a tiny smile. "I know… Seriously anything you need, anything at all, please don't be afraid to ask."
She nodded and before she could stop herself, she pulled him in for a hug. She sank into him when she felt him wrap his arms tightly around her. Even though she knew she would see him tomorrow in glee club, somehow this felt like a goodbye. When she let go, she offered him a smile.
"Mercedes is a very lucky girl."
Quinn smiled but shook her head. "No...I'm the lucky one. Puck?"
"Yea?"
"Speaking of Mercedes, there is actually something I kind of need your help with..."
"Sure, what's up?"
The next day, Mr. Schuester took attendance as students filed into the choir room. When everyone was seated, Quinn raised her hand.
"Mr. Schue? I'd like to sing something today if that's okay."
"Yea... Of course, Quinn. Take it away."
Quinn nodded in Puck's direction and he grabbed his axe as he got up. Quinn grabbed a stool from the side of the room and began lifting it, but Puck grabbed it for her. She smiled at him gratefully before taking her seat front and center, directly opposite Mercedes.
Mercedes gave her a curious look but said nothing. She just stared back, attentive. Quinn glanced over at Kurt who frowned slightly, but like Mercedes sat silently.
Quinn felt her heart rate speed up and her hands began to sweat as negative thoughts began to run through her mind. What am I doing? Berry was wrong, I can't do this...
She almost got up when she saw Rachel smiling back at her encouragingly. Even Santana sitting in the back with her pinky linked to Brittany's, smiled warmly back at her. Her expression seemed to be saying, 'get your girl'!
'You can do this' Rachel mouthed flashing her two thumbs up. Finally, Quinn worked up the courage to say what she needed to. Even if she failed, at least she would know that she gave it her very best...
"Umm this is a song a friend helped me find. It was saying all the things I was feeling and well...I haven't really been too good at communicating lately so hopefully this song will help clear things up and clear the air."
She looked to Puck and nodded, cueing him to begin strumming the opening chords. A beautiful melody filled the choir room and Quinn closed her eyes. Just feel the music...
"I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart. But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start..."
Feeling confidence build within her, she finally opened her eyes as she sang. She locked eyes with Mercedes as she sang the following lyrics:
"You put your arms around me and I believe that it's easier for you to let me go. You put your arms around me and I'm home..."
She looked over at Rachel who was swaying back and forth and smiling at her. She felt grateful for her as she turned back to Mercedes.
"How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around?
I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drowned..."
Quinn closed her eyes to blink away the tears as she sang those words as they hit very close to home.
"I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close…"
She opened her eyes again and looked at Mercedes. She noticed a softness in her warm brown eyes that she hadn't seen for weeks and she knew that the song was working.
"You put your arms around me and I'm home…"
In the back of the room, she watched Santana lay her head on Brittany's shoulder. When she flashed her a smile and a wink, Quinn smiled. The song seemed to be working for more couples than she had intended...
"The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved
I never wanted to leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone...
You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go…"
Mercedes stared back at her with a warmness Quinn had craved for so long and she knew she had her. Rachel had done good. She glanced at Puck and smiled when he chimed in with a beautiful harmony.
"I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home.."
The emotional impact of the song washed over Quinn and her eyes filled with tears but she kept on singing, trying her best not to let the song suffer due to her tears.
"I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth...
And I've never opened up,
I've never truly loved 'til you put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go…"
The tears fell down her eyes before she could stop them but she kept on singing. The pregnancy hormones sure as hell didn't help her but it sure felt good to bear her soul. Better than anything Quinn could have imagined. Oddly enough, it felt amazing to be vulnerable and let someone she loved know how she really felt about her. She finally understood what Mercedes was talking about when she said that music was her outlet. It was like the song itself was saying things in a way that Quinn could never bring herself to. It melted her heart to see that through her blurred vision, Mercedes was crying as well. She felt something rush through her body, a surge of confidence and before she knew it, she was on her feet and right in front of Mercedes holding her hand and wiping her tears. She wrapped an arm around Mercedes' shoulder and her heart skipped a beat when Mercedes leaned against her chest. She stroked her hair gently as she finished the song.
"I hope that you see right through my walls,
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling...
I'll never let a love get so close,
You put your arms around me and I'm home…"
Quinn tilted Mercedes' head up, making sure that their eyes were locked as she sang the final line. She needed to make sure that Mercedes understood just how sorry she was and how much their relationship meant to her.
"You put your arms around me and I'm home…"
When Puck strummed the final chord, the choir room erupted into a loud cheer. Mercedes jumped up from her seat and wrapped her arms tightly around Quinn. Quinn was caught off guard for a moment but when she caught herself, she wrapped her arms around her bestfriend just as tightly.
"I love you, Mercedes."
"I know."
"And I'm sorry…"
"I know..."
They stood there for a moment holding each other silently to 'oohs' and 'awws' from the rest of the club until Mr. Schue awkwardly interjected. "That was excellent Quinn. Very, very pure and heartfelt. Thank you for sharing that with us."
She nodded in his direction, still holding on tightly to Mercedes.
As Mr. Schue made a beeline for the whiteboard and began to write the word of the week, Quinn made her way to an empty chair beside Santana in the back but before she could reach back there, she felt Mercedes' warm hand grip her own.
When she looked up, she saw Kurt pulling a stool from the far end of the classroom. Tina scooted down to make room for the chair on the other side of Mercedes. Quinn smiled gratefully as she took her seat. Kurt seemed to be very touched by her performance and his moist, rosy cheeks did not go unnoticed. She glanced over at Mercedes who was looking her way and smiling affectionately. She felt Mercedes reach for her hand and she grasped it ardently. Their fingers interlocked in the same old familiar way and just like the song, Quinn knew that she had finally made it home.
LOVE IT? HATE IT? REVIEW!
A/N: The song Quinn sings is Arms by Christina Perri. It is a GREAT song and so Quinncedes right? Don't worry, this is not the last chapter. There is more to look forward to lovelies so stay tuned... ;)
