Disclaimer: Though I hope to have characters of my own to write about someday, this is NOT that day. So if you don't want to read of my writing about other people's characters, there's a back button somewhere on the screen. Use it.
This is AU in that Harry meets the twins in London, rather than his first Weasley meeting being Ron on the train. Since I've only plotted out through the first book's worth of story line, I'm not sure HOW AU it will get yet.
What if?
Not to say that he forgot entirely about the three-headed dog in the third floor corridor, but Harry found himself more focused on classes than in figuring out more information on the slavering beast. Classes, homework, trying to actually spend time on a broom outside of class, and planning pranks took up enough time that Harry began to wonder what kind of loon he'd been earlier in the year, wanting more things to do with his time.
As October approached, the twins became more and more prone to finishing each other's sentences, tricking people by pretending to be each other, and in dropping little candies and toys around that the trio had created. By this time, they'd made candies that turned people into animals, a variation on the Canary Creams. Joining the Canaries were Catnip Crunchies, Puppy Poppers, Gerbil Gobstoppers, and the trio had just worked out the final details on their newest creations, which they affectionately called Rat Rations, in honor of Scabbers.
To curb some of their energy, because he just couldn't keep up, Harry challenged the twins to dream up a prank fitting for Halloween, to take place during the feast at supper that night. Rising to the occasion, the redheaded duo drew up plot after plan after scheme, throwing each out on this particular night for various reasons. Finally, they dreamed up one that met with their approval, and showed it to Harry. The first year wondered how they would pull it off without getting caught, but the twins said that they'd just have to 'fall victim' to their own prank for that. In which case Harry made sure that he'd only eat food containing Catnip Crunchies. He wasn't keen on becoming anything so small as a gerbil, canary or rat, but he didn't want to be a puppy at this point either. He wasn't sure that he'd be housebroken quite yet in that form.
Not that knowing which trick treats were to be in the food was all they needed to be ready for the prank, but Harry was just making sure he was turned into something he could tolerate. On a lark, Harry thought of having the twins test the candies to see if they canceled each other out. Laughing, the twins found a way to do just that, using their friend, Lee Jordan. Testing revealed that only the first candy eaten would transform a person, as their body would have absorbed the chemicals and ingredients of that one first. This told them they wouldn't be able to market the whole lot as a whole, under the name, 'Chimera Grab Bag,' which made Harry feel better, even if it didn't make the twins any happier.
The rest of the prank, and planning for it, kept all three boys busy enough with studying that Harry found himself cemented in the title of the 'Ravenclaw of Slytherin.' The twins reported that there were several others threatening heart attacks at the suddenly Raven-ish behavior in the two previously anti-studious Gryffindors.
One day, midway through October, Fred called out, "Eureka!"
"Oh?" George didn't even look up from the notes they had on incorporating noise into small rubber balls.
"I finally got it to work!" Fred crowed as he waved a small pink rectangle under his twin's nose.
"Okay, so you got the sounds into the thing, that doesn't mean the whole thing will work," George pulled back from the hand in his face.
"That's what testing's for," Harry had been brewing the requisite materials to make the plastics they wanted to embed the sounds into.
"That's the simple part," Fred grinned, "After all, we made these so they'd dissolve in fluids!"
With that, he threw the tiny thing into Harry's glass of water, and all three winced, shuddered, but grinned as Harry's water was suddenly singing a Weird Sisters song. It was wobbly, but it was loud enough to hear through the water. As the pink object finished dissolving, the song tapered off, until finally, all that was left was a quiet glass of light pink water.
"Now, we need to see if you can put sounds other than the Weird Sisters into those things," Harry smirked at Fred and handed him a handful of the pink sticks that resembled chalk. Fred groaned as George and Harry snickered, and all three went back to work.
Over the rest of the month, they worked out all the kinks, prepared the pieces, and had just decided to place the fragments of the prank so they would come together at supper when they encountered the Gryffindor ghost bemoaning his repeated failures to join the Headless Hunt. Without thinking, Fred asked why Sir Nick had never made it, and all three boys were hard pressed to keep their stomachs still at the squelching Nick's head made when he grabbed himself by the ear and pulled. This showed that the ghost had missed complete decapitation by a spare inch of flesh, and apparently, that was just enough to have him disqualified for the Hunt.
This left the boys more or less talked into going to the Death day celebration Hogwarts ghosts had put together for Nick, and that made them glad that supper wasn't for a few more hours. When they left the room filled with rancid, rotting food, all three boys realized that their prank wasn't going to happen in time, as they couldn't set it up now without getting caught. So they stored the pieces they could, and planned out minor pranks to use the rest in to tide themselves over until next year. One such was the idea of taking the Singing Sticks, as they'd named the pink water-soluble objects, and dropping them into water glasses in their Common Rooms that night. If the trio ever got around to packaging their projects, they'd be careful to make sure no one thought the Singing Sticks were edible. Harry at least was going to leave the objects lying around and surreptitiously spray them with jets of water from a new spell he'd found called 'Aguamenti,' or the Hydrating Spell. He didn't want to pollute anyone's drinking glass.
With the delay of their prank, the trio wasn't as excited to see the feast arranged for the last day of October as they would have been otherwise. Their spirits, pardon the pun, picked up when they arrived at their tables. Harry had heard of parties for this holiday before, but the people involved had been obsessed with the concept of pitting neon orange with black and blinding their audience. Or the hosts had smothered their home with props in an effort to create a mood, ruining it instead. Of course, Harry didn't hold the comments as gospel, as they had come from his Aunt Petunia, who thought the holiday was rubbish. That didn't seem to stop her from letting Dudley go out to parties each year dressed up, when he threw tantrums to go.
In this instance, the tables had remained the same, covered with cloths of the usual colors, but instead of plain flatware, in honor of the holiday, the plates had magical creatures painted on them. At least, Harry thought they were painted. As everyone settled, Harry took the time to look at his plate. The figure on the plate moved like the photographs Harry was still getting used to. When, out of curiosity, Harry picked up the fork and moved it towards his plate, the wolf started getting ansty and growled. The lack of sound told Harry that the plates were enchanted the way photos were in the Wizarding world and Harry was reminded of the prank he and the twins had wanted to set up. He mentally took notes and was determined to add that information to help with the prank for next year.
The Headmaster stood, said a few words, similarly to at the beginning of the year, and then encouraged the school to 'dig in.' Harry half expected the flatware to turn into shovels and trowels, but wasn't disappointed when they didn't. When the food began appearing on the plate, the pictured animal also seemed to get food, and thus it didn't react when Harry used the eating utensils around it. Harry ate fairly quickly, as he still had to make it back to the trio's headquarters to write his observations down, or he'd forget them entirely.
As Harry was about to stand and leave, he noticed that the stuttering professor wasn't at the meal. He had enough time to reflect on this and set it aside in his mind, when the doors to the Great Hall slammed open wide as they went, and the formerly missing educator rushed in, screaming, "Troll!" When he had made it three quarters of the way through the room he suddenly shrilled, "Just thought you should know," and fainted dead away. Harry blinked, remembering from what he'd read, and from discussions with Fred and George that trolls were big, nasty, stinky, and bad-tempered. Oh, and stupid. Harry didn't want to know how a troll got into the school.
Dumbledore stood tall, and called to the now panicking students, "Everyone, calm down, please. Follow your Prefects to your Common Rooms, and we professors will deal with the troll."
Slytherins lined up quickly and quietly, in counterpoint to the noisiness of the rest of the school. The Hufflepuffs were horrified, and huddled together in clumps around each of their six Prefects. The Ravenclaws seemed excited, and more than a little worried, and were more organized. The Gryffindors were in complete chaos, jostling each other and arguing. Luckily, their proximity to the doors made it easier for the Houses of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff to leave the Great Hall quickly, and without the pushing and shoving that came when the Gryffindors tried to push past the Slytherins. During the mess, Harry overheard Ron and Longbottom discussing how Ron had been rude earlier in the day. Apparently Ron had gotten fed up with Granger's 'know-it-all' tendencies and had snarked about how no one would want to befriend someone so bigheaded, or something to that effect. Harry almost pulled a prank on the redhead right there, but he glanced up and realized that the twins were looking straight at him. They shook their heads and grinned. That told Harry the other first year would be dealt with.
After escaping the Great Hall, Harry quickly diverted from the river of students, trying to find Professor Snape to tell him about the missing Gryffindor. He'd even take McGonagall if he could find her, but he wanted to tell someone that Granger would be somewhere in the school, ignorant of both the troll and the lockdown. Suddenly, he heard a noise that made him look up. There was McGonagall, glaring at him darkly.
"Mister Potter," she began, "what part of 'go to your Common Room do' you not understand?"
"I'm sorry ma'am," Harry explained, "I'll be on my way there, but I felt I should tell you that I overheard Ron Weasley and Neville Longbottom talking about Hermione Granger's absence from the meal. They seemed to believe she'd been somewhere else much of the day, and therefore wouldn't know about the current crisis."
"Hm," the woman peered at him closely and nodded, "Fine, you've told me, now go to your Common Room, or you'll not only lose points, but you'll also get a detention."
Nodding, Harry turned in the direction of his Common Room, and heard the professor move to follow him. After a bit, she seemed to decide he was going where he said he was, and turned off in another direction. Harry wondered to himself if she would have followed him in the first place if he'd been a Gryffindor. That situation was really starting to irk him. No one trusted Slytherins, as the older members of the House said at the Welcoming Feast, but the other three Houses, it seemed, could practically get away with murder. He was going to wait at least until after winter break, and then he was going to start planning things to fix the problem.
Harry was snapped out of his musings as his foot slipped in something on the stone floor. Harry balanced himself, and then paled. He'd stepped in slime. Apparently the troll had a runny nose. Shuddering, Harry looked around, and found a veritable trail of it. Following the trail, Harry hoped he'd find a professor to tell about it, and show it, because he certainly didn't want to find the troll. He was aware of the dangers of following the trail, but didn't see himself as having much of a choice, it was follow the trail and find a teacher, or go to the Common Room and wonder for the rest of the night who the troll got to.
The smell got stronger, telling Harry he was getting closer to the source, and he winced. Looking ahead, there was a door. He thought it was one of the girls' bathrooms, and he guessed that was where the troll had hidden itself. Harry counted himself glad that he'd been placing little noisemaker toys in the slime. They would both help clean the mess, and dissolve in the sludge, quite noisily. This would draw attention to the trail, and would lead the professors to the room
Harry turned to leave the area for his Common Room, and then froze. The noises he'd heard from the bathroom weren't just troll grunting and snarling. There was high-pitched screaming and shrieking mixed in. Harry moaned to himself; it was just his luck that the place the troll hid was the same place Granger had hidden herself to cry about a redhead's rudeness.
He didn't dare leave assuming that an instructor would get there before the girl got killed. He knew that none of the first years knew any spells that would incapacitate a troll. The things weren't just smelly, they were thick-skinned and -skulled, and so most hits wouldn't affect them but to make them madder. Harry quickly cobbled together a plan. He'd get the troll's attention, and make it chase after him. He'd run away just fast enough to not be caught, but not so much as to make the troll return to the girl, and he'd find an adult to take care of the problem.
With that thought, the slight, dark-haired boy pushed open the door to the bathroom, and gasped at the sight of the destroyed sinks and bathroom stalls. In the corner, huddled, was Granger, whimpering, bruised, and beaten. The troll stood before her with its club raised, about to pummel her again. Not really thinking, Harry tossed one of the noisemakers left in his pocket at the troll. As it landed on the wet floor, it squawked loudly, getting the troll's attention. It turned, looked at Harry, who threw another noisy ball at it, and ran out of the bathroom. It followed him out the door that had just barely closed behind the boy, and started to follow him down the hall. Harry found himself running faster than he'd planned. He'd read that trolls were slow, but the books must have meant it was slow in comparison to an adult, or to other creatures, because Harry had to run with all he had to keep ahead of the creature, screaming loudly all the way. He only just barely registered the black blurs as he passed them. Stopping for a second, Harry recognized Professors Snape, McGonagall, and Flitwick following his trail of tricks. He whirled and stopped, "Professor Snape, the troll's right behind me!"
The trio of adults looked up, and sure enough, the troll had gotten close enough to read them as targets. It started to swing the club at them, but they fired, almost in unison, a Stunning Charm straight at it. It fell to the ground, out cold, and they turned on Harry.
"I thought I told you to go to your Common Room, young man!" the Gryffindor Head of House thundered, "This isn't even on the way!"
His own Head of House, meanwhile had crossed his arms over his chest, and was balancing his weight on one leg. Flitwick had returned to peering at the slime and the pranks. Screwing up his courage and determination, Harry responded, "I was on my way to the Common Room when I found the trail. I didn't think farther than leaving a trail for you adults to find when I had reached the bathroom that's down this hall. The door was closed, and the trail ended there."
"And?" Snape prompted, sure there was more to it, "Did you prod at it to raise its ire after it had found a place to hide, Potter?"
"N…," Harry fidgeted and shrugged, "Yes and no. I hadn't intended to do anything after that. I was even on my way to leaving the hall altogether when I realized that there was someone screaming inside the bathroom, where the troll was."
"Oh, my," Flitwick looked up, "Lead us there, Mister Potter, we need to assess the poor child's health!"
The four of them trooped over to the bathroom in question, and the door was pulled open to reveal Granger herself. Her face was covered in tears, and the rest was covered in plaster and dust, but she was fairly healthy.
With a deep sigh of relief, McGonagall put a hand to her chest, as the Gryffindor girl walked completely out of the room and turned to Harry, "Thank you so much for saving me, Harry Potter, I think that swing you distracted it from would have killed me."
With that the girl dashed off, with McGonagall's call following her, telling her to head for the nurse to get herself checked. Harry relaxed just a touch; the girl really would be okay. He then looked at his Head of House and flinched. The expression on the man's face wasn't in the slightest bit friendly.
Shaking his head, the dark-haired man drawled, "I knew the family traits would out eventually. Don't make a habit of playing hero, if you will. We don't need the added adventure. I will say, however, that it was good you thought at least of leaving a trail. If you hadn't, you could have been the dead student instead of Miss Granger."
"Combine that with your distracting the troll from its captive prey," Flitwick added quickly, "and you kept any student death from occurring."
Sighing deeply, McGonagall pursed her lips. Harry didn't consider himself an empath, but he swore he could feel her reluctance in what she was about to do, "Ten points for your quick thinking, heroism, and sheer dumb luck, Mister Potter." With that she whirled around, presumably to ensure that her student made it to Madam Pomfrey.
As Flitwick turned toward a second direction, Snape and Harry turned in a third, back towards the Slytherin dungeons. After a bit, Harry realized that the Potions Master was limping. As he surreptitiously observed, there was a rip in the side of the man's robe, and Harry thought he saw blood trailing down the man's right leg.
"Sir," Harry shocked himself by actually asking, "were you going to get that treated by Madam Pomfrey? Or do you have something in your office to fix it with?"
Without stopping or even missing a beat, Snape growled, but without any real venom, "It's none of your business, Potter."
Not entirely sure why he was going to, Harry smarted off, "So I should ignore it if you're still limping in class tomorrow?" And with that, he scuttled for his Common Room as though a hound from Hell was after him. And who knows, he could have been right.
Please forgive me if I'm giving the trio the run of pranks that sound harder than they would have been able to pull, but I am of the mindset that the twins were smart enough to dream these things up, and only lacked the concerted drive to actually do so. So with the 'patented Potter prodding,' some of these things can come about a little early. I will try to wait until at least third year for the Skiving Snackboxes though. If I can.
One last thing, as a thank you for giving me 50 reviews, I asked #50 what picture they wanted. The request was for an immortalization of the concept of the first years in their parade movement. It can be found on deviantart. Add the dot com to the end, and put toranekohybrid and a forward slash in front, and you'll reach my profile on that site. It should be the most recent picture added, and should have the words 50 review in the title.
Thanks to SpiderLily for catching my silly mistakes. Can't believe I misspelled disclaimer... uh oh going to check all the rest for that same flub. Just to warn you all, there could be a slow down, I just realized that the second half of the year is going to fly by and that won't work so well. So I may have to rewrite my chapters, starting with the next one, to reflect that. Meh, shouldn't hurt me too much, it's you all I'm worried about.
