Chpt. 7

I couldn't believe that I had just finished my freshman year of high school. Finals were done and that meant one thing: freedom! Summer vacation was finally here. Thank heavens!

Lula and I were rapping DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince's "Summertime" as we walked up to my house, acting like we were driving a car with the seats back and one hand on the wheel.

"And think of the summers of the past
Adjust the base and let the alpine blast
Pop in my CD and let me run a rhyme
And put your car on cruise and lay back cause this is summertime
"

Suddenly I heard applause and looked at the porch, filled with four big military men. I know I had a shocked, embarrassed look on my face. They were a couple days early. And then I screamed, "Oh my God! You're here!" I ran up and jumped into Les' waiting arms and gave him a tight hug and kiss on the cheek. When Les put me down I turned and walked into Carlos' waiting arm. He gave me a long, tight hug, and kiss on the forehead.

"You really need to be more aware of your surroundings," he whispered in my ear.

"Smartass," I replied. "When did you guys get here? You're early! Not that I'm complaining at all. I'm just shocked!"

At that moment Lula decided to remind me of her presence. "Aren't you gonna introduce me to all these fine ass men you have on yo' porch?"

Oh Lord, help me. Grant me the serenity to accept that I can't change Lula….

"Sorry, Lula. This is Carlos and Les," I said gesturing, "and these other two guys I believe are their battle buddies, Bobby and Tank." Looking at them, I now understood why Carlos' battle buddy went by Tank…he was over a foot taller than me. Wow. At least I was assuming that behemoth of a man was Tank.

Lula looked at him and said, "Hi, my name is Lula. What's yo' name, you sexy specimen of a man?" I know my face must have turned a bright shade of tomato red.

"Tank," he said. I couldn't really blame him for not saying more to Lula. I didn't even know what to say to her and we had been friends for months.

"Um, Lula, why don't you take off? I need to get these guys settled in and check in with Aunt Marjie and Uncle Charlie," I asked. Silently I was begging God to make her be agreeable for once in her life and leave without fuss or embarrassing me further.

"Ok. I'll call you later. Maybe we can hang befo' you leave," she said. She gave me a quick hug and thankfully left.

When she was out of earshot, I turned and looked at Tank. "I am so, so, so sorry. I love her and she's a great friend, but she was born missing a filter. If she thinks something it just comes spilling out of her mouth like verbal diarrhea. Again, I'm sorry for Lula. I hope she didn't make you uncomfortable."

Tank laughed. "It's fine, though it's a little weird to be hit on by a fifteen year old kid."

"Yeah, she doesn't really get that socially acceptable line. I could explain about her mother and the family profession, but I'd really rather not. So anyway…let me do this right. Hi, I'm Stephanie. I am sure you already talked to my aunt since you have lemonade. Can I get you anything else to drink or maybe something to eat?" I asked.

"No thank you. I'm Bobby by the way," said the cute guy sitting on the porch swing.

"Nice to meet you, Bobby and Tank," I said. "Let me go drop off my bag and change." I entered the house, ran up the stairs, dropped my backpack on the floor with a thud, and changed into an ARMY t-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops. I then ran back downstairs, making lots of racket with my flip-flops, and headed for the kitchen.

"Hey Aunt Marjie. Do we have anything to snack on that I can also bring out to the guys? Plus, I'm ravenous," I asked.

"Hi, Sweetie. How was your geometry final? And yes, the last cookies just came out of the oven. I would have had them ready for the boys, but they arrived two days earlier than I thought. I guess Charlie got them on an earlier transport back from Bosnia," she said. "I wish Charlie would have told me so that I could have planned food accordingly. I am going to figure out what we have and then head to the commissary to get what I will need. Think they would like my drunken steak recipe?"

I looked at her and raised by eyebrows when she said that my uncle arranged for them to get in a couple days earlier than planned. That was not normal. He obviously had plans for them. I wasn't sure if I should be thrilled or terrified. I was leaning more towards terrified, but decided to ignore my spidey sense that was tingling.

"The geometry final was ok. I'm glad I'm done with that subject. Math is definitely not my thing. Thanks for the cookies! I know they'll love them. And they are guys. Believe me, they will be thrilled with steak. Actually, I think they would be thrilled to eat anything that they can identify. Some of that Mess Hall food was scary!" I snagged the plate, gave my aunt a kiss on the cheek, and walked back out to the front porch. I put the plate down. "Aunt Marjie made some cookies."

"Nice!" Les said grabbing a couple of cookies. Bobby and Tank each took one as well. I looked at Carlos, but he didn't grab one.

"What? No cookies?" I asked him, laughing.

"Don't want to pollute the temple," he replied. I just shook my head and rolled my eyes at him. Then I turned to Tank and Bobby.

"So where are you guys from? I think I am at a disadvantage. You've heard stories about me," I said and then shot a quick glare at Les, "but I know next to nothing about you guys. I think it's only fair. Names, where you are from, and one embarrassing personal story from both of you."

Carlos and Les smiled at me. I was probably amusing them like normal.

"I'm Tank. My grandmother raised me in Louisiana. I went to prom with my cousin," he said.

"Well that was succinct. Why did you go to the prom with your cousin?" I asked.

Les cut in. "Studying those SAT words, aren't ya?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "Yes. Even if I didn't have to study them at school, Uncle Charlie would be making me. He wants me to score well and makes a copy of each week's list so he can keep me on task. I heard him talking to Aunt Marjie about hoping I go to West Point. Now, back to you Tank. So why?"

"My size scares girls and nobody wanted to go with me," he said.

"Huh. They never heard of gentle giants or something? Geez…" I muttered. "Well, that's their loss. Hopefully you had fun with your cousin." I then turned my attention to Bobby.

"I'm Robert Brown, better known as Bobby. I'm an Army brat, so I'm from everywhere. My parents are currently stationed in Germany," he said.

"That's a good reason for not going home and visiting," I said laughing. "I think you're missing a little detail though – like your embarrassing story." I could see him thinking and hemming and hawing over what to tell me.

"I was terrified to use public bathrooms when I was in kindergarten and first grade and normally held it until I got home. I was too embarrassed to ask and scared to use the bathroom one day in first grade and peed myself," he said.

I smiled at my new friends. "We're even now. Oh and Les, I got Lexi to send me a couple embarrassing pictures of you as blackmail material. So you had better learn to keep your mouth shut."

Carlos smiled at. "Evil, Babe. I love how you think."

"What? You aren't looking for blackmail on Carlos?" whine Les.

"He doesn't tell embarrassing stories about me! If he does, then it's game on!" I retorted. Carlos just smiled at Les.

We then sat on the porch for about an hour, eating cookies, drinking lemonade, and catching up on details and stories that we didn't write each other about. After a little while the guys asked if they could get cleaned up and rest a little. Their internal clocks were about seven hours ahead, so it was the middle of the night for them. I showed Bobby and Tank to the guest room, giving them more privacy since they knew my family the least. While they were settling in, Les and Carlos asked to speak to me on the porch. Following them back outside to the oppressive humidity that is typical for spring in Georgia, I asked them what was on their minds.

"Do you want to go to West Point?" Carlos asked, sitting down in the wicker chair. I almost laughed at the sight of 6'2" Carlos, all muscle, in a delicate wicker chair. The juxtaposition was amusing, but I wisely kept that to myself.

"Not particularly. He's talked to me a couple of times about it. So has General Kowalski, who I think is driving the whole crazy idea. I would much rather go to a regular college or university and I've told them that, but that doesn't seem to diminish their hope. Plus, I still have to do additional sniper training in July. At least when I go to apply for jobs after I graduate high school, I can list that as a marketable skill," I joked. "Assassin for hire and all that."

"Don't let yourself be railroaded into joining, kiddo. Really. It's not that I don't think you can handle it. I know you can, but you are too free-spirited, fun loving, and sweet. I don't want the Army to kill that part of you," Les said, grabbing another cookie.

"Do you want to add anything, Carlos?" I asked.

"I agree with Les," he said. I don't know why I thought he would have more to say. Carlos was always concise with his words.

"Well, thank you for caring. It's nice to know that you guys are looking at me as a person and what is best for me, not as a possible weapon and what is best for the Army like General Kowalski and Uncle Charlie."

Then, never being ones to say more than was necessary on any given topic, Les decided to treat me to his leave plans: booty, booty, and more booty. For good measure, he decided to add in visiting with family a couple times and eating tasty, identifiable food, preferably Cuban. I had to laugh at him.

"Do we need to go make a condom run for you? The idea of a bunch of little Lesters is terrifying," I replied. I saw Carlos give a small smile and turned towards him. "Are you planning on being on being a quickie Casanova also?"

"You'll never know," he said. I just shook my head at both of them.

"Thank God I'm too young to ever fall for you two," I said grabbing another cookie. "You two are the reason why Lexi and I have no desire to date. I'll add in Morelli to that list, too."

"Don't compare us to Morelli," they said in unison.

"Ok, that," I said pointing my finger at both of them, "that was creepy, how you said that at the same time."

"We are upfront with what we want," Les said. "We have no time for relationships. Plus we're too young to commit. I don't believe in commitment at twenty. I, myself, am a stallion that cannot be tamed."

I choked on my lemonade when Les claimed he was a wild stallion. After I was finally able to talk again, I said making a mad dash for the door, "I have to call Lexi and tell her you said that!"

Sadly, Carlos' legs were about a foot longer than mine and easily grabbed me from behind, impeding my call to Lexi. Then Les started tickling my feet. "Stop!" I whined.

"Not until you promise not to tell Lexi. I don't feel like listening to her during leave," Les said.

"No!" I protested. Two more minutes of tickle torture and I acquiesced, crossing my fingers behind my back. I would snag the phone and use my calling card to call Lexi after dinner when the guys weren't around.

During dinner my uncle talked to the boys about their plans for their careers. I just listened in, happy to be in the same room as Les and Carlos. Aunt Marjie paid no attention to the conversation. Instead she just kept focusing on the guys' plates and any time they got remotely close to being clean, she would dish out more food. And then there was Val…she looked at all four of them with clear disdain on her face. I wasn't sure which was more embarrassing – Lula throwing herself at Tank or Val being an elitist bitch.

After dinner Uncle Charlie and the guys went to the backyard to smoke cigars while Aunt Marjie and I cleaned the kitchen. While we worked, I commented about how smoking anything was gross and asked why she let Uncle Charlie smoke the occasional cigar.

"One day, when you are married, you will understand. You have to pick your battles. Since he doesn't smoke regularly I choose to ignore it. Now, if he was smoking a pack of cigarettes or drinking a bottle of scotch a day, I would address it," she said.

Around 1930 the guys all came back in, reeking of cigar smoke. Gag! I tried to suppress my shuddering at the stench, but wasn't successful.

"Hey, Steph. We were just talking about hitting whatever the 2000 movie is. None of us have had the chance to go since we were deployed. Want to join us?" Les asked.

I finally gave up. While my aunt said she chose her battles, and obviously wasn't I was in a relationship with any of them, I was not going to be surrounded by four large men who were malodorous. Just. Not. Happening. "I will, but only if you agree to all go shower first. Sorry, but I can't stand the smell of cigars."

They looked like they were going to protest, but Carlos glared at Tank, Bobby, and Les. Suddenly, they were agreeable and went off to take their military-fast showers. By 1945 we were in my uncle's car that he lent to the guys for the weekend. I could no longer stand my curiosity and asked them about what my uncle wanted to discuss with them.

"You know how the general has been updating the Ranger program, right?" Carlos asked.

"Yup. It is one of the main reasons we are here," I said.

"One of the things they decided to change was the prerequisite amount of experience and preferred age of Ranger applicants. Your uncle lowered it significantly because studies showed that the younger training starts, the more effective a soldier is. That study is likely one of the reasons General Kowalski is so interested in you, but that is a conversation for later. Your uncle has been following how Les and I were doing. Then when we changed battle buddies, he also started paying attention to how Tank and Bobby were doing. He wants us to do some testing and try out for the Rangers under the new criteria before we head down to Miami on leave. We'd be the youngest Rangers if we were successful," Carlos explained.

"So…you guys are guinea pigs?" I asked. I wasn't super excited about them being test subjects. It meant more risk, but if I learned anything from that awful car accident, it was that life was too short to play it safe. A person could lead the safest, most boring life, and his or her life could be taken in an instant by a drunk driver or some other imbecile. So if this was what they wanted to do, I would be their biggest cheerleader and then likely take an Ambien™ each night so I could sleep without nightmares of their horrific deaths.

"In a sense, but with much better hair," Les joked.

"Definitely with better hair," I said. "I know you guys will knock it out of the park." And then I settled into comfortable silence, going through the mental exercises the therapist gave me to deal with my anxiety. I concentrated on my breathing and slowly flexed and released each muscle group, starting with my toes going up to my neck. By the time I finished, I felt much calmer and had arrived at the theater. I then lost myself in the hilariously awful movie The Big Hit and listened to the guys bicker about the proper way to pull off a kidnapping. Rule one was not to fall in love with the prisoner. I just shook my head at them and laughed.