Note: Yeah, I am just working on this spoof out of boredom and while I am unable to brew up ideas for my more serious work. Anyway, for the Fantasy world, I'm going to skip the bit with Gulliver's Travels, it was nothing more but a Big-Lipped-Alligator-Moment in the original film.
Chapter 7: Whatever you Imagine
Even though they were able to drive off the pirates, Roxas was still in a gloom. He sat on the beach and wrote "EXIT" in the sand with a stick.
"Why so down?" asked Fantasy.
"I lost my library card," said Roxas, "I'll never get home." The next wave came in and washed away the word in the sand.
"Oh don't be that way. We'll find a solution to get you home."
While walking on the beach, Adventure stepped on a piece of paper. He tried to shake it off, but the paper turned out to be Roxas' library card.
"Hey," said Adventure, "I found you're library card!"
"Gee, thanks," said Roxas, taking his card back and placing it in his pocket.
"Look," said Fantasy, "my wand is shooting flares." She held up her wand to show it flaring. "That means we're close to the fantasy section!"
"Are you sure that it will work?" asked Roxas.
Fantasy flicked her wand at Adventure, all of a sudden Adventure was wearing a frilly pink dress with a wig of blonde curls.
"Fuck!" Adventure flung off his ridiculous get up while Horror laughed.
The four of them entered the fantasy world, an enchanting looking landscape of forests and meadows. In the center of the land was a great mountain. At the very top of the mountain was the EXIT sign.
"The Exit!" cried Roxas. "Let's go."
They raced to the exit, along the way they saw the most bizarre things. Flying above them was a boy in green tights with a tiny blonde pixie. Another was a goat man playing the pan flute. As the group travelled further to the mountain, they climbed over a huge mound.
"We just have to climb that mountain," said Roxas.
"It will be a long climb," said Adventure. When he stuck his sword in the ground to lean on, the mound began to vibrate.
"Earthquake!" shouted Horror.
All of them except Roxas scrambled off the mound. The ground broke away and Roxas found himself stuck on top of a Storm Rider Heartless. All what he could do was hold on to the beast's horn to keep from falling to his death.
"Oh no," said Fantasy, "we have to help Roxas. Horror, go to page 101!" Horror scanned through Fantasy's pages until he found the number.
"Arabian Nights?" asked Horror.
"That's the one." When the page was ripped out, Fantasy changed the page into a magic carpet.
"Get the boy," she commanded. The carpet flew off to help Roxas.
Holding on for dear life, Roxas noticed the carpet flying next to the Storm Rider. When the carpet was in jumping range, Roxas leapt onto the carpet and flew down to collect Horror, Adventure, and Fantasy.
As they flew to the mountain, the Storm Rider gave chase. The Heartless blasted energy bolts at them, attempting to take them out of the air.
"Do something," said Roxas. Evading the attacks were becoming difficult.
"Let's see," said Fantasy, raising her wand. Horror accidentally nudged her, causing Fantasy to drop her wand and the Storm Rider gobbled it.
"Oh boy," she said, "I really hoped that wouldn't happen."
Then an energy bolt hit the carpet, causing it to crash in the mountain side. As they climbed up the rocks to find a cave to hide in, Roxas found the frozen body of a fallen knight, armed with a helm, shield and keyblade. With the Storm Rider closing in, Roxas got a brilliant but crazy idea.
"What's he doing?" asked Horror.
"He's going to gear up to fight!" said Fantasy.
"That a boy!" said Adventure.
Roxas first removed the helmet, finding that the knight closely resembled him with blonde hair and blue eyes frozen wide open. After the little shock, Roxas put the helmet on his own head. He then yanked the shield off the knight's frozen arm and picked the keyblade from where it lay next to its former master.
The Storm Rider went after Adventure, Fantasy and Horror, causing them to retreat into a cave. Roxas climbed up the rocks and began to slash at the Heartless with the keyblade.
"Look out for the tail!" cried Fantasy.
It was too late, the tail of the Heartless wrapped around Roxas, shaking him until he lost his equipment. The creature eyed Roxas, then it gobbled him whole.
"Oh no," said Horror, hiding his face with his hands.
"It's up to me," said Adventure. He swung his sword for some practice cuts. "I'll take care of it."
"Be careful," said Fantasy.
Without warning, Adventure embraced Fantasy into a passionate kiss. Horror turned away to hide his laughter.
"How would you like to cuddle up with a good book?" asked Adventure. He was answered by being thrown out of the cave.
"In your dreams!" scolded Fantasy, adjusting her pantyhose and turning into the cave with a huff.
Adventure stood up, holding up his sword for combat. The Storm Rider loomed over him, charging up with energy. Adventure was too late to turn around. After getting fried, Adventure staggered back into the cave and fainted.
Meanwhile, in the belly of the Heartless, Roxas found himself surrounded by darkness. He felt something sharp in his back side, he picked it up to find Fantasy's wand. He swung it around, hoping it would help him escape, it only made a farting sound.
"Damn," said Roxas, placing the wand in his jacket pocket. "How the hell should I get out of here?"
"Look to the books," a ghostly voice whispered.
"The books," said Roxas as he stumbled on a pile of books, finding it weird that a Heartless would eat books. He picked one up. "Hmm... Alice in Wonderland." He opened it to find the Queen of Hearts emerging from the pages.
"Off with his head!" the Queen screamed. Roxas slammed the book shut and tossed it away.
After he searched through the books, he found one that would help.
"Jack and the Beanstalk," he said with relief. He opened the book and out grew a giant beanstalk. Roxas jumped on the growing plant as it grew out of the Storm Rider's mouth.
"Get on!" said Roxas. "This sucker will take us to the top!" Horror, Adventure, and Fantasy jumped onto the growing beanstalk. When they neared the top, the Storm Rider was chomping on the beanstalk, they quickly jumped to the ledge before the beanstalk collapsed.
To be continued...
