Chapter 7- Linette
I woke with a start in the night. I was alone in my room since Lacey always slept with Dougie. It was completely dark so I allowed my eyes to adjust. I felt my scar burn as I touched it. I'd had the nightmare again. I closed my eyes and willed myself to breathe steadily.
"You'll tell me if you're having nightmares again, okay?" I heard Lacey say in my mind. I shivered. No matter what I wasn't going to tell people again. They might make me stop the tour. I knew I wasn't famous enough to not do it.
I got out of the bed and opened the curtains. I could see London: or the night version of London. I really loved the view. It calmed me down. All of a sudden I felt a wave of panic at being alone.
I walked away from the window and out the door, making sure I took my room card with me. I sat outside my closed door and stared at the carpet. I was naming all the colours I could; anything to forget the nightmare.
"Did they lock you out?" An annoying voice snickered. I glanced up in surprise. Before me stood Ashley, in all her fake red-headed glory.
"No, I'm just… thinking."
"Outside of your room? What are you a retard?"
I glared at her. "No, I just wanted a change of scenery."
Ashley sneered at me. "I heard about how Tom kept care of you while you were sick."
"Yeah, it was nice of him to do that- especially since I've known him about three days." As the words left my mouth I realized how stupid my little crush on Tom was. Oh God I just admitted I was crushing on him. "No," I scolded myself in my thoughts, "You're just slightly attracted to him and it's making you think you like him. Especially after he cared for you. It's nothing much."
"Well, you'd better stay away from him."
I looked up at Ashley in surprise. Did she just tell me to stay away from Tom? "We work together. I kind of can't."
Ashley glared at me. "Don't try to be funny. He's my boyfriend."
Now I was getting angry. I hated when girls got possessive. The boy is human and can choose who he hangs out with! "Maybe he wouldn't be so interested in me if you were paying more attention to him."
"Excuse me? Did you just say I don't pay attention to Tom? Obviously I do because I am dating him!"
I laughed. "Sooner or later Tom is going to figure out that you're using him for Danny. When that day comes he'll drop you so fast."
Ashley looked flustered. "I- I don't like Danny."
I snorted. "Oh yes. That's why you only hang out with Tom when Danny's around. You leave reluctantly to be alone with him. The other day when he hugged you from behind it was obvious how much Tom likes you. But you wouldn't stop staring at Danny. It doesn't take a genius to figure out you're using him."
Ashley opened her mouth but couldn't reply. I smiled at her super sweetly. "Is there something wrong?" I asked.
Ashley glared at me. "Just stay away from him," she pouted as she turned down the hall.
"Just stay away from him," I mimicked. That girl got on my nerves.
All of a sudden I had the odd feeling of being watched. I glanced around the hall but there didn't seem to be anyone there. I sighed.
"Don't scare yourself," I muttered as I walked back into my room.
I sat on the couch across from Phil and Fern. I smiled nervously as they began the interview.
"Hello, Linette, welcome to the show!" Fern smiled brightly.
"Thank you for having me," I answered.
I watched as Phil and Fern turned to the camera. "Linette is an up-and-starting musician from New York City who just released her first single Cupid in America as well as is performing as the opening act for McFly's world tour." Cheers erupted from the crowd.
They turned back to me. "So, I understand you're going to be releasing a different song here in the UK?" asked Phil.
"Yes," I answered, "At first my manager wanted me to release the same single, but I thought it would be more interesting if I released a different one here."
"I understand the single that's going to be released on Sunday is called Why?" Fern asked. I nodded. She turned towards the audience. "Linette will be performing this song here on This Morning for the first time in the UK." I heard a few more cheers but nothing like what the mention of McFly brought. "Could you tell us a bit about your song?"
I smiled and thought a bit. "Well, the song is about what a girl is thinking after she catches her boyfriend cheating. It shows all the questions she asks and how the first thing a girl thinks afterwards is 'What's wrong with me?'"
Phil raised his eyebrows. "That sounds very meaningful. I understand you write your own songs. What inspired this one?"
I felt my smile fade a little but I immediately brightened up a bit. "A lot of my songs are based on personal experiences or dreams I've had. I wrote this song when I was 19 and my boyfriend cheated on me."
"I bet he regrets that now," Fern laughed, trying to make the situation lighter. I laughed along. "Now, we'd like to ask the question everyone's thinking: how did you get on tour with McFly?"
I remembered how Lacey had coached me through this question before. "Well my manager had sent out a copy of Why since we wanted that to be my UK single. McFly got a hold of it, listened to it, liked it, and hired me."
They nodded along. "So, have you met the boys yet?" Phil asked.
"Yes, they're all very nice."
Fern smiled at me mischievously. "Do you fancy any of them?" I made a mental note to whine to Lacey: She told me there'd be no embarrassing questions.
I laughed. "I've only known them a few days. They're really fun and kind, but I'm not quite sure I could say I fancy any of them."
Phil nodded. "Well thank you for being on the show." He turned to the audience. "And now for the first time ever to be performed in Britain is Linette singing Why!"
I stood up to the microphone and looked down at my feet for a few moments as the introduction played. I made myself relive the moment I caught my first boyfriend cheating on me. I felt all the anger and the hatred I had had at myself well up.
I looked up and straight at the audience as well as the camera as I began to sing.
"She's sitting at the window,
Staring at the pouring rain.
She's fighting back all the tears
That want to flow down her face.
She's curled up wanting to know
Why she has to be in pain.
She's facing all of her fears
As she hugs a pillowcase.
And as she begins to cry,
She is asking herself why…
'Why would he throw it all away?
Why does he love her more than me?
Why would he break my heart in two?
Why did he have nothing to say?
Why is there less passion with me?
Why is there nothing I can do?'
She thinks back to that morning.
She enters the room again.
He's kissing another girl.
She cries out in her surprise.
He sees her and starts smiling.
He says, "Don't ever trust men.
When we find a better girl,
We'll cheat and tell all sorts of lies."
And as she begins to cry,
She is asking herself why…
'Why would he throw it all away?
Why does he love her more than me?
Why would he break my heart in two?
Why did he have nothing to say?
Why is there less passion with me?
Why is there nothing I can do?'
'Why would he throw it all away?
Why does he love her more than me?
Why would he break my heart in two?
Why did he have nothing to say?
Why is there less passion with me?
Why is there nothing I can do?'
She goes up onto the roof
And she screams with all her might
'Why do I still think of you?
Why do I beat myself up?
You don't love me; I have proof.
My love for you blinds my sight!'
She falls, wond'ring what to do.
She doesn't lift herself up.
And as she begins to cry,
She is asking herself why…
'Why would he throw it all away?
Why does he love her more than me?
Why would he break my heart in two?
Why did he have nothing to say?
Why is there less passion with me?
Why is there nothing I can do?
Why don't you love me?'
'Why would he throw it all away?
Why does he love her more than me?
Why would he break my heart in two?
Why did he have nothing to say?
Why is there less passion with me?
Why is there nothing I can do?
Why don't you love me?'"
There was a moment of silence and then a roar of applause hit my ears. It took me a bit by surprise. They liked me! They actually liked me! It brought me right back to the café where Lacey discovered me. I gave a slight nod of my head and then exited the set.
I walked over to where Lacey was waiting for me. She had one of her goofy smiles on.
"What?" I asked, worried that I had done something wrong.
"Nothing, except that you WERE FREAKING AWESOME!" I almost fell as Lacey shouted the words into my ear.
"Um, thank you?"
Lacey got this crazy look on her face and turned to me. "I really think the company is glad they followed my decision." I smiled at Lacey.
I was sitting in the recording studio playing with a pen as I heard Lacey argue with one of the producers. He was a fat man in a tweed suit. He wasn't young, but he wasn't old either. He had thinning brown hair and stood slightly shorter than Lacey.
"I'm sorry, but she just doesn't have the qualities we're looking for in a new singer," he said, oblivious to the fact that I could hear him.
"Is she not pretty enough? I'm sure a haircut, make-up and some fitted clothes will cure that." I flinched at the words. Jazz café waitress/singer doesn't really allow you the money for nice clothes or make-up. I barely could afford food, let alone have money for luxuries like that.
"No, it's not that. She's pretty enough; it's her style of music. If she'd be willing to do some of our songs…"
"NO! Her music is amazing. It's filled with feeling and she writes her own music. If you'd just be willing to give her a chance-"
"I'm sorry, Lacey. We gave you a chance with The Haters, but you blew it."
"You know that was not my fault. Their band split up on their own. They were doing fine though."
"Lacey, it has nothing to do with you. Linette's music doesn't appeal to the largest demographic of teen people."
"So? Is that all this record company cares about now? Can't we have one singer who doesn't have to be a slut to be a singer?"
I looked up in surprise. The producer had grown quiet and was glancing over at me. Finally he sighed.
"Okay, she's signed. Put her up in an apartment, get her a stylist, and then record an album," the man stormed off. Lacey turned to me and gave the thumbs up. I smiled. I actually was going to release an album. It may not be the most popular one, but it'd be out there for others to hear.
Lacey pushed me out of the studio. "Honey, I need you to be at the concert hall in like 15 minutes. We got to check over the set and do sound checks. Then you have rehearsal for the six songs you're using. Afterwards, we're taking you to a stylist and having a dress fitted for you."
I laughed as Lacey pushed me through the halls towards the car we hired. She may be pushy and sometimes I wished she'd leave me alone for a breather, she was cool and was working towards the same goal as me. She wanted my music to be heard. The lifelong friendship was a bonus.
