So, I've been five types of stressed this week, so sorry for the lateness...laterness. This is Miss Valentine as requested by Krentenbol. Next up is suppose to be Miss Monday, but I think it will be cooler to post that on a Monday, so I'll probably skip ahead to Miss Goldenweek this weekend because it's Goldenweek and I think it's better that way too.
Reviews:
debuzz: Yeah, he does seem to have more fun with his friends. Friendship romance I guess, at least in this fic. I'm looking forward to Boa too. :)
dandy wonderous: Thanks. And I just realized that Luffy landed on an island filled with women. I guess I'll have to make a restriction of only girls with an actual personality can date Sanji. :p
Krentenbol: Thank you, and I hope this can live up to your expectations. No, I'm not scared, I'm actually thriving off of your enthusiasm; it's feeding my soul. :D
ohlordies: Thank you very much!
Shaolin Queen: Thank you. I decided to cut the man some slack. And I always thought Sanji would make an awesome Dad, if the way he interacts with the filler kids is any indication.
sentimentalreality: Thanks! And that means I'm doing my job as a writer to make you pity Sanji. :)
And I don't own One Piece.
Zoro and Luffy were sitting on the couch watching a random cartoon in which Humpty Dumpty was being chased by two random children for a reason that was never adequately explained. Luffy was laughing like a maniac at the silly antics while Zoro was dozing away, not quite sleeping due to the loud curses coming from his roommate's room. Sanji was supposed to be getting ready for his date this afternoon, but was spending more effort cleaning out his closet.
"Hey, Zoro." Luffy asked over Sanji's curses.
"Hm?"
"Why is Humpty Dumpty an egg?"
"What?" Zoro was confused.
"Why is Humpty Dumpty always an egg?"
"It's in the rhyme isn't it?"
"Oh." A few seconds later, "Wait, where?"
Zoro sighed. "Look, Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall right?"
"Yeah."
"And then he had a great fall." A few more loud curses from came from Sanji's room.
"And…"
"And then no one could put him back together again. Cause when an egg breaks, you can't put it back together again."
"I guess." He turned back to the TV. "But wait-if I pushed you off a wall and you had a great fall, I don't think Chopper would be able to put you back together again."
Zoro thought about it for a bit. Sanji cursed some more. "Huh. Never thought about that. I guess it'd be pretty traumatizing for kids to have to imagine a human bleeding all over the place though. So I guess the egg is just a way to make the rhyme more humane."
"Why didn't you just say that in the first place?"
Zoro was about to respond but was interrupted by Sanji's loudest shout yet of "GOD DAMNIT!" and the blonde bursting into the room holding what looked like a miniature alligator by its tail with a bleeding hand.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS AND WHY IS IT IN MY CLOSET!?"
Zoro and Luffy looked up. "So that's where Fluffy went." commented Luffy.
"Fluffy?! FLUFFY!? You're Fluffy almost bit my freak'n HAND off! What the hell is it doing in my closet anyway?!"
"I dunno. I brought him over to feed him. He must have crawled into your closet when I dropped him at the door."
Sanji blinked then glared before walking over to the window and tossing the alligator out.
"Fluffy!"
"We're on the 4th floor you know." Zoro said.
Luffy ran over to the window and looked down. "He's okay. He landed in the bushes. Oh look, he's making some new friends!" Sanji looked out the window two. The miniature alligator was baring its teeth at some passing pedestrians, who were cowering behind some trashcans. One had managed to pull out a taser and held it shakily towards the alligator. He kicked Luffy upside the head.
"Go stop him or I'm never cooking for you again!" Luffy paled for a bit then ran out the door.
Zoro, who had made his way over to the kitchen to get the first aid kit, motioned for Sanji to sit at the counter, which he did, while Zoro started bandaging his hand. "Why are you so stressed?"
"I don't know, maybe the fact that there was a fricken alligator in my closet had something to do with it!"
"Dude, chill. He's brought worse things into our apartment."
Sanji sighed. "I guess." Zoro tied off the bandage and made his way to the fridge. Sanji put his head in his hands. Zoro took out the materials for a sandwich and plopped them in front of the chef, who looked at him. After a few moments of silence where they just stared at each other, Sanji sighed again and started to make some sandwiches.
"I don't know why you're so stressed about your little date with Miss Valentine today." Zoro commented as he leaned against the sink.
"I am not nervous."
"Sure, that's why you've been throwing a hissy hit all morning."
"There was an alligator in my closet!"
"I hear that thing happens all the time in Florida."
"We do not live in Florida! Where did Luffy even get an alligator anyway?"
Zoro shrugged. "Y'know, if you're afraid of heights, it's not too late to back out."
"I am not afraid of heights, I'm not backing out, and I am most certainly not nervous."
"Then what's with the attitude?"
"People keep putting weird stuff in my closet!"
"You find one alligator in your closet-"
"Not just alligators!" Sanji reached into his pocket and pulled out a cloth bag, which he opened up to reveal numerous glass eyes of varying shapes and sizes.
"Huh, I've been looking for those." Sanji glared at his green-haired roommate.
"What do you need glass eyes for?"
Zoro shrugged. "I thought I left them at Franky's though."
Sanji closed the bag and tossed it at him. "There was loads of other stuff like that too."
"Did you ever consider the fact that your closet opens up to another dimension?" Zoro asked with the most serious look on his face.
Sanji glared at him. "Stop putting weird stuff in my closet!" He pushed a finished sandwich in his direction, which the other man accepted. Sanji looked at his watch before exclaiming, "Shit, I gotta go," grabbing Zoro's keys, and running out the door.
When he arrived at the amusement park where he and the lovely Miss Valentine agreed to meet, called Lucky Joe's Amusement and Recreational Park, she was already waiting for him, wearing a striking yellow dress, earrings that reminded Sanji of lemons, and a matching hat and umbrella. Sanji was glad he decided on the yellow shirt and matching tie today; he liked matching his dates.
"My lovely, lovely Valentine, how are you doing on this fine afternoon?" He asked while dancing over to her.
"Kyahahaha." She laughed at his antics. "Very well. And how about yourself?"
"Most excellent now that I am in your wonderful presence!" he replied, purchasing there tickets.
She noticed his hand. "What happened to your hand?"
"Oh this? My friends pet got a bit too friendly. Think nothing of it."
"Kyahaha." She laughed.
They entered the park and grabbed a map by the entrance. After looking at it for a bit, they decided to head over to the Forest-themed sector of the park and ride the teacups first, those being Miss Valentine's favorite ride. They waited in line, talking about their interests and other such nonsense, and before they knew it they were on the ride, spinning uncontrollably fast. When they got off, they were both insanely dizzy but laughing their heads off and took a breather to grab an overpriced hot dog and sit down on a bench before heading off to ride the Tunnel of Love, Sanji's favorite ride. It was nice and peaceful (although Sanji didn't get to steal a kiss like he planned) and the pair felt up for a roller coaster.
"We could try this one." Sanji said, pointing at the wooden coaster in the section of the park with a Spanish theme to it. "It's still pretty new though, so there will probably be a long line."
"I want to ride that one." She said, pointing at the roller coaster in the Jungle sector.
Sanji blinked. "That's the tallest, fastest coaster in the world."
"Yeah, I like the weightless feeling coasters give before making you feel really heavy." She looked up him and laughed before saying, "what are you scared?"
"No, I would just hate if something went wrong and you ended up hurt."
"Kyahahaha. They have safety regulations for a reason Sanji. We'll be fine."
"The line's probably going to be huge at this time of day though. It's only a 12 second ride."
"It's worth the wait. C'mon let's go!"
"Well, if you insist my dear." He grabbed her hand and they ran off in the direction of the coaster. When they got there they waited.
And waited.
And waited some more.
Sanji didn't really care because he was in the lovely Miss Valentine's presence, but she was getting a little antsy.
"Why is it taking so long? Did it break down again?"
"Maybe." He said not really paying attention. Miss Valentine smelled citrusy and he was a bit distracted.
All of a sudden there was an explosion in the distance. An announcement came on the PA saying, "Attention all Lucky Joe customers. We have reports of a bomber in the park. Please don't panic and make your way to the nearest exit. Thank you and enjoy the rest of your day!" Needless to say, everyone started panicking.
"Oh, he said he wasn't going to do this today…" Miss Valentine said before running off in the direction of the explosion. Refusing to even attempt to leave until he knew she would be safe, Sanji followed.
The explosion lead them to the movie themed section of the park where they saw various SWAT team members surrounding a building with a tall man with crazy black hair wearing sun glasses and a red coat was waving bombs around everywhere.
Miss Valentine stopped and gasped at the scene. Sanji stopped beside her. She turned, not noticing that he followed her and screamed, "What are you doing?! Get out of here!" This turned everyone's attention towards the pair of them.
"I can't leave knowing a lady such as yourself would be left in mortal danger!" he declared.
"Sis? What are you doing here!" the bomber shouted.
"That's what I should be asking you! You said you wouldn't do this today!"
"It has to be done! Society needs to learn a lesson, and this is the only way!"
"You two with him?" A SWAT member asked.
"He's my brother!" Miss Valentine screamed at him "What do you think you guys are doing to him anyway!?"
The next thing Sanji knew he and Miss Valentine were in handcuffs and being escorted off the premises. The only thing Sanji could think though was crap, now Zoro's going to have to bail me out…again.
Zoro was feeding crumbs to Fluffy while watching TV with Luffy when he heard Kiss the Girl playing in the background. He was confused for all of five seconds before he realized that it was his cell phone.
"Tash, what's up?"
"Zoro," his friend answered, "you're going to need to come down to the station."
"I thought you said you cleared that up!"
"I did. This is something else."
"Oh." He relaxed a bit. "What's up then?"
"Sanji's being held on suspicion concerning the bombing that happened at Lucky Joe's Amusement and Recreational Park today."
"He's not a bomber. Why can't you get him out?"
"I'm trying, but he's not being very cooperative."
"What? But you've got boobs and stuff!"
Tashigi sighed very audibly through the phone. "I'm not the one directly speaking to him. Captain Smoker is."
"That prick? I'd be uncooperative too."
"He's not a prick! He's just doing his job."
"He's being a prick now. He knows Sanji wouldn't try to blow up an amusement park."
"He personally knows Sanji isn't responsible for anything, but like I said, he's just doing his job."
It was Zoro's turn to sigh. "What do I have to do to get that idiot off then?"
"Just come down and give a character statement. It should be enough; it's pretty obvious that he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."
"Then why is he being held there?"
"It's just a formality thing. We're just-"
"Doing your jobs. I get it. I'll be right there." He hung up the phone. "Luffy, c'mon. Sanji landed himself in jail."
"How are we getting there? He took you're car." Zoro then remembered this fact.
"I guess we're walking then."
Two hours of completely pointless questioning later and he was still staring at Smoker's face. From the looks of things Sanji wasn't getting out of there anytime soon either.
"Look, you know me. I'm not nearly disturbed enough to try to blow anything up. Can I go yet?"
"We've been over this, it doesn't matter what I think. We have to take precautions and you're smug ass attitude isn't helping you any!" Smoker snapped.
"Since when did you become such a stickler for the rules? Or are you now the higher-ups little doggie since you're up for promotion?" Smoker slammed the table and stood up, running his hands through his hair.
"Why are you making this so damn difficult? Is it the girl?"
"She's an innocent too! You shouldn't be locking us up like this!"
"Her and her brother were members of the terrorist group Baroque Works. Innocent is the last thing she is!"
"I refuse to help you incriminate her." Smoker punched the wall.
"Are you willing to go down with her? Moria may have gotten you're previous charges officially dropped from the record, but that just made the higher-ups more determined to get you locked up. Are you really willing to go down for your stupid chivalry?" Sanji remained silent. Smoker was so to throttling him, but a knock on the door interrupted.
"What?" Smoker barked. Tashigi entered.
"Captain Smoker. They said you can let him go."
"What? How? Why?"
"Zoro explained everything."
"What?" Both Sanji and Smoker exclaimed, "What does Zoro know about any of this?"
"Um…" Tashigi looked taken aback at their unison, "nothing really. He just explained how Sanji was kind of an idiot when it came to girls, no offense Sanji"
"How could anything that comes out of your mouth offend me?" He said, proving the point.
"Anyway, Hina backed him up on that, so they decided to let him go."
"Just like that?" Smoker asked.
"Just like that."
Smoker sighed. "Well Blackleg, looks like you're off the hook for now. Just don't expect it to be as easy for you next time."
"That's what she said."
Smoker punched him in the face.
Sanji emerged sporting a black eye and muttering something about being hostile towards suspects. Luffy was able to flag him down with a shout of "HEY! SANJI!" so he walked over to him and Zoro.
"How many times am I going to have to save your ass from prison?"
"About as many times as I've had to get you're drunken ass out of county." Zoro shut up.
"Sanji, I'm hungry! Can we get something to eat now?"
"Sure." They walked outside where Fluffy was tied up to a bike rack, chewing on a bike's tire. "You brought the alligator."
"Yeah, apparently someone has a problem with alligators in their closet." Zoro said. Sanji kicked him.
"Where's your car anyway?" Sanji asked. "I know the confiscated it when they brought me in but…"
"Relax, Tash got it back. C'mon let's go feed Luffy before he eats Fluffy."
The three friends and the alligator got into the car and drove off.
Side note: If Lucky Joe's Amusement and Recreational Park reminded you of Six Flags Great Adventure in anyway, well, that's because I've been there a lot and know the layout and stuff really well. Although they don't have a tunnel of love.
