"Again, it wasn't easy, but we got here" Riku sighs. "Nothing's ever easy, huh?" Sora crosses. "Nothing ever is, and this is part of it" Riku looked down at the drop to get to the save point. "You've got to be kidding me man!" Sora chiomps his foot. They're hovering really high above Castle Oblivion and all its twistedness. "Well, you know what's coming Sora..." Riku smirks. "No, no I don't" Sora smiles nervously. "Fine then I guess I'll-Oh crap! I just dropped my Skittles" Riku tosses a bag over the edge. "Sora, could you go down and-" "TASTE THE RAINBOW!" Sora jumps, but then realizes to late that Riku tricked him and grabs onto Riku's shirt. "Let go of me Sora!" Riku tries to hold onto the doorway. Unfortunately, since chibis barely have little stubs of fingers, Riku can't hold on to the doorway and Sora can't hold onto Riku's shirt. And so they both fall off the ship Wile E. Coyote style!

Chapter 7: Castle of Evil Stairs

And where did Sora and Riku end up you ask? Dead? Oblivion? The other end of the world? The Home for Infinte Losers? Nope, they were hanging from one of the tower spike thingies, embarrassingly for Riku, by his pants (The Power of Pants!). "Don't let me go Riku!" Sora holds tightly onto him. "Don't even worry about that Sora. I'll throw you instead!" he growls. "But Ri-hEE-hee-hEE-kuuuu (They're crying noises)! I dun wanna die! I wanna live out the rest of my life being happy and kicking people's butts!" Sora starts bawling. "I've got an idea of who's butt I'm gonna kick!" Riku twitches because of something. "But Riku, don't you want to live a wonderful life of love and happiness?" Sora asks with the teary saddy sad eyes.

"Well, now that I think about it, I wanna sing! I wanna dance! But most of all, I want you to get your foot out of my crotch!" Riku glares at him and twitches even more. "Oh, sorry" Sora blushes. Suddenly, a loud rip comes from above and they're lowered. "Hold onto me Sora!" "I ain't letting go Riku!" The rip becomes loud enough it echoes throughout the universe and they both fall, hitting every tower and opened window on their way down. Aaaaand...BAM! Right on their backs! Riku apparently let go of Sora during the impact so he was about feet away from him. "GOSH! MY FRIGGIN BACK IS PROBABLY BROKEN!" Sora gets up and dusts himself up. "You're lucky I was there holding you during the fall. I hit half the things you did!" Riku gets up as well, his back bruised like crazy.

"I'm still mad" Sora crosses his arms. "About what?" Riku twitches again. "You let go when you said you wouldn't!" Sora spits his tongue out. "Oh, excuse my hands for mistaking you for a hot potato and letting you go during the impact that I couldn't control because of the force, I'm such a hack!" Riku says sarcastically. "Yes, you, are" Sora pouts, crossing his arms. "Whatever" Riku sighs as he takes off his pants. "Another pair bites the dusts" he tears up as he puts it in his backpack and starts walking to the entrance. "Don't weave me!" Sora scurries up behind him.

"Okay, so where do we start?" Riku asks as he looks at some of the doors. "Who knows? There are 13 floors up and down, it's not fair!" Sora groans."Should we split up to-" "DON'T LEAVE ME!" he cuts Riku off and clings onto him like crazy. "Right, I better stay with you and use my dark ability to save your butt" Riku sighs. "What's that?" Sora asks. "That round thing at the back of your legs" Riku smiles. "Pick a direction, any direction" Riku walks up to an elevator. "Diagonal!" Sora points. "Pick a direction that an elevator can actually go with" Riku growls. "Up" Sora points. "Fine then" Riku shrugs, but looks at how high the button is and groans. "Here, get on my back and press the button" he bends over. "Yay me!" Sora jumps on him and presses the button. Riku flings him off and they wait for the door to open only to find...

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE ELEVATOR'S BROKEN?" Riku yells, fuming at the sign hanging from a rope in the elevator. "It's right there in fine print, Riku. 'The elevator has been broken for several months, due to Lexaeus' stupid obsession of working out and ideas that that taking the stairs would help prevent us from getting fat that he had to go and break the elevator-and if you're reading this right now Lexaeus, know THAT YOU'RE GONNA BE IN MEGA TROUBLE! -Xemnas" Sora reads. "Wow, it must be fun to be Xemnas" Riku rolls his eyes. "Ooooooh, crap" Sora looks towards the stairs. "Maybe we should split up" he sighs. "If we must, then..." Riku looks through his pocket and manages to pull out two walkie talkies.

"If you find something or need help, call me on this and I'll be there" he hands Sora one. "Where do you get all this cool stuff anyway?" Sora looks at the walkie. "Same place I get everything else" Riku starts putting on some new pants. "Where'd you get those?" Sora points. "I just told you" Riku raises an eyebrow. "No you didn't!" Sora flails his arms. "Cause that would be telling" Riku starts heading for the downstairs stairs thing. "But Riiiiiiiiiku!" Sora whines, but Riku has already gone down the stairs of no return unless you have an ID. Sora starts to twitch madly as he heads to the upstairs stairs thing...they go up, okay?

-A few minutes later- Riku's walking down the Stairs of Evil Steps, deeply thinking. "Alright, it's time to find out who's behind all this. When I do, I'll kick this guy's butt so hard, he'll be coughing up his organs, soul, bones, and anything else they got. Ohohoho, they'll be sorry. And after that, I'll go home and make some cup-a-noodle soup and live happily like all bishounens do!" he smiles and giggles madly. That's what he thinks...-Bout half an hour later- "MY GOSH! WHAT IS UP WITH THESE FRIGGIN STAIRS!" Riku yells, gasping for breath like crazy. "Thinking back, maybe I should've jumped down the elevator. At least that would've gotten me down faster!" he stops and takes a few breaths. He's about to take another step when-OH RIKU LOOK OUT! "AAAAAHHHH!" I told him. He trips and tumbles down about 7 more levels of stairs before finally tumbling to a stop. "Well, that worked out better than it should have" he rubs his head as he gets up.

So he gets up and starts looking around the negative 13th floor. "If I were a villian where would I be?" Riku closes one of the doors he examines. "Annoying the public? Shouting my plans out to the world? Laughing in a lair for no reason?" he thinks as he looks through several other doors. "We're doomed" he sighs, opening one of the doors. But, oh wait, this one actually works. "Heeeeeey, man" a voice calls. He looks in to see a mini Wakka coming up behind a mini Riku. "What the...?" Riku looks in closer. The mini Riku is sitting at the shore, cuddling a moogle plushie. "Oooooh, I remember this" Riku smiles. "What ya got there?" Wakka waddles his way over to the mini Riku. "A pwushie. My daddy gave it to me" the mini Riku holds it up. "But didn't something happen on this day...?" the chibi Riku starts thinking.

"Really now? Well now it's mine!" Wakka snatches it away and runs off with it. "Of course! The day I lost my plushie!" Riku starts to growl like some type of angry lion. "Give it back Wakka!" the little Riku starts to cry. "But didn't something else happen on this day?" Riku stops himself from running in and ripping Wakka apart. The little Riku just automatically goes demonic and starts growling with his eyes starting to glow. "Oooooh, yeeeeaaaah" Riku starts nodding his head in rememberance. "WAAAAAAKKAAAAAA!" the little Riku starts charging at Wakka until he finally tackles him down and starts beating him up like crazy: biting, punching, kicking, pulling, the works. "Teach you to steal my stuff you bastard!" the mini Riku struts off, leaving a near death Wakka behind. "Aww, I was so cute" Riku smiles as he follows himself to the secret place.

"You can stay here" the mini Riku opens the secret compartment of a rock (What the!) where a bunch of money, candy, gold, jewels, and other goodies are stored. He kisses it on the cheek (AAAWW) and sets it in the rock then finally closes it. "So that's where I put it!" Riku smacks his hands together (You know what I mean). "Now I have a reason to get this mission over with!" he closes the door and is about to start walking when..."But just for fun" he opens the door again. "Come here Wakka you bastard!" he runs in and slams the door behind him, crying and beating noises coming from inside.

-To Sora- "Stairs! Stairs! And even more stairs! WHAT'S WITH ALL THESE STAIRS!" Sora yells to absolutely nobody. "I've must've been running for at least half an hour!" he stops for breath. True, true. "Oh, dear Lord" he falls to his knees and reaches for the door to the next level. He gets up and is about to take another step when...HE TRIPS...up the stairs...? (What the heck?). "Thank you law of physics for not applying to me" he opens the door and walks into the 13th level. But the tripping thing...! How is it possi-

"Nothing really fun in these doors" he looks through several doors. He keeps walking until he notices something on the ground. "What's this?" he picks it up. A clue! A clue! "A what?" A clue you idiot! A clue! "Then I guess I'll be needing my handy dandy-" Don't even start. "Meh, I'll save it for later" he shoves it in his pocket and opens a door. Inside, a mini Sora is sitting in his bed, holding the sheets up to his neck. Tifa and Cloud are sitting next to him, Tifa petting his hair and Cloud glancing around the room, checking for something. "Now Sora, you know we've been through this before, there is no such thing as monsters" Tifa smiles. "That's the same thing you said about WEAPONS and look what at what's outside!" he points at Ultima WEAPON's claw sticking up out of the ocean. "Blame Sephiroth! He just had to be evil back then" Cloud pouts, crossing his arms.

"Well you just call us if you actually see something" Tifa huggles him and head heads for the door. "And in case we don't listen, here's a case full of materia, handguns, and potions" Cloud sets the case next to his bed, then heads for the door. "Good night Sora" they say at the same time. "Maybe for you guys" he sinks into his bed. Suddenly, the bed moves. "Oh no, here it comes!" he hides under the sheets. "I CAN'T WATCH!" the chibi Sora tries to look the other way, but peeks anyway. The sheets rip away from the chibi Sora to reveal...A GIANT CHEESE GRATER! "AAAAAAAAHHHHH!" he screams and darts for the box, only to be blocked by the grater and all its 'grateness' "What do you want?" Sora backs up in his bed. It throws itself at the T.V. which flips on to..."EDUCATIONAL T.V!" Sora screams.

Then it comes hopping over to him, ready to grate him. "You want me to die with my parents thinking I'm smart?" Sora twitches. It jumps at him, but the door busts open and a figure jumps in and tackles it to the ground, beating it up like crazy. Sora peeks to the fight to see the figure get up, holding an ordinary cheese grater. "Who are you?" Sora asks. "I am...The Silver Rhapsody!" they undo their cape to a little kid wearing some planet pajamas. "Oh, hi Riku" Sora waves. "Great, go out and get me Sora" Riku chucks a coconut at him from his utility belt. "Well, call me whenever you need me" he chucks the grater at the T.V., which breaks it, before he flies out the window. "Good going Riku! I had to pay for that you know!" Sora complains. "Oh, that was fun" Sora closes the door and turns around, only to notice a Neo Shadow standing right in front of him.

With his arm shaking like a blender on fire, he brings up his walkie talkie. "R-R-Riku?" he calls in. "Sora? What up?" Riku answers, screaming noises in the back. "H-Heartless are up here, there, and everywhere" Sora trembles, looking at the huge group of Heartless in front of him. "Really? This better not be like the time you called me because you couldn't get sand outta your pant-" "PLEASE RIKU! I'M ABOUT TO WET MYSELF!" Sora screams into mike. "Sora, for Pete's sake! I'm right behind you!" Riku taps his shoulder. "Riku!" Sora turns around and huggles him. "We can do more of this later when we're not dead" he breaks off Sora.

"I hope you can lift your Keyblade" Riku takes out his Way to the Dawn. "No" Sora summons his Key. Riku starts jumping and killing some of the enemies while Sora stands there like an idiot. A chibi Shadow walks up to him and pokes him. And what does Sora do? He faints. "Oh, Sora! Come ooooon" Riku complains as he kills another Heartless. "I've got it!" Sora automatically gets up. "Drive Power!" he raises his arms up in the air, white aura emitting off his chibi body. "Wait a sec!" Riku looks back, but is sucked into Sora's vacuum like aura. And just like that, Sora goes Final Form, still chibi, but better than before. "Yay me!" his voice doubles with Riku's as he...they...whichever comes first, poses.

Confident, he flies into the crowd, the remote control Keyblades wacking everything in sight. He gets so bored, he starts doing somersaults in the air. Finally, after the rare stupidity is done, Sora floats triumphantly in the air. "I am the man" he poses again, failing to notic-SORA LOOK OUT! He's wacked out the window by a Crimson Jazz. I told him. "Crap!" he yells, getting back up into the air, only to fall back again. "Oooh, freaky!" Riku rubs his shoulders, shuddering, trying to get the feel of merging with his friend out of his mind. Oooh, nasty. "Aww, my Drive Bar is gone" Sora takes a melted chocolate bar out of his pants. "Hello! Just been inside your body! Your soul! Your pants, over and under!" Riku complains.

"Oh Riku, calm down. You can have your Skittles if that makes you feel better" Sora looks around for the bag. "Fine" Riku pouts as he walks over to the save point. "Heeeey! This is just a bag of seashells!" Sora walks up to him. "Worth jumping off the ship for huh?" Riku smirks, taking back the bag. "Where are the real Skittles?" Sora growls. "Fine, here" Riku takes out the real bag and starts walking again. "Hey! Maybe if a chocolate bar'll Drive me, what'll Skittles do?" Sora asks. "Beats me" Riku shrugs. Sora chugs down a few-BLAHDIE BLAP! BLAHDIE BLAP! BLAHDIE BLAP! He powers up a few inches Super Mario style and starts running around, flashing his sparkling colors. Riku stands at the save point and watches in confusion. "Lets go, Sora" he shakes his head as Sora runs over. Darn the non-applying laws of physics to Sora. To be continued!

A/N Just so the Evil Lawyers of Heck can't sue me for not making a disclaimer in quite a while; I don't own KH2, Skittles, or Mario, I just buy them.