I AM GOING TO STRANGLE HIM (Plus Thugs)

I feel warm... I feel cozy... I feel... purring?

Attempting to move my head was impossible at the moment, since my cat Izzy was on top of it. I swear he gains an extra 7 pounds when he sleeps! Pushing him off me, I shify my gaze to the clock. IT WAS 11:30 a.m.?

Getting out of bed, dressing, and brushing my hair in a frenzy, I rush out ot the living room to see Madara in chibi form attempting to browse the Internet.

"How do you work this thing? It keeps telling me I need a freaking password, and I have no clue what it is. Do you?" Something was wrong. Weren't we supposed to be gone by now?

"Weren't we supposed to be gone by now?" Trying not to yell or squeal, I manage to look freaked out.

"One: Don't yell at me. Two: What the hell are you talking about?" An expression of doubt was plastered on his face. He genuinely had no idea what I was talking about. I ran back to the bathroom, and checked my eyes. They were as green as ever, not a touch of black in sight... Next, the calender. In utter shock I look at the date. It was the day I first found our what was in his jar, meaning the past few days... Were some kind of dream?

"... I need cappuccino." Exhaling as I said this, I took a stride back to the room where Madara was glaring at me, presumably because I hadn't answered his question.

"WHAT. IS. THE. PASSWORD?" This time it wasn't a question, it was an out right DEMAND. I chose to ignore it due to my need for caffeine.

"I don't know. When the computer starts up, it automatically switches to that network, I'll switch it back to our usual one." I reached over, and dished out my mad computer skills, making the Internet available to Chibi Man. I looked out the window, seeing how bright it was, then turned to him, clearing my throat.

"Wanna come to the gas station with me? I'm going to get caffeine and snack food." Coming out from my lips in a plain voice, he glanced up at me. At the moment he was sucked into YouTube, I swear he's fallen in love with that site.

"Sure, I want some candy." He sounded kind of tired, and it was affirmed moments later by the yawn. (OMG, IT WAS SO CUTE!)

So, we both got dressed, and headed out the door. It takes about 20 minutes to walk to the gas station, so we took the short cut through the rich-people neighborhood. I hate those jerks, in their big fancy houses, with their iPods and stuff that rich kids have... GRR. Looking at us walking by was Joe. He was one of the jock-type, into sports and all kinds of "boy stuff".

"Hey, looks like Chelsea and her per decided to visit!" He chimed.

Ok. Now Joe isn't that bad of a guy, he just does the wrong stuff at the wrong time, and it gets in him trouble frequently. At 'pet', Madara was about to kill this guy. Seriously. He had climbed off my shoulder, and was now full sized and approaching poor, defenseless Joe. I almost felt like getting popcorn, but there wasn't any.

"'Pet', is that what I am?" I couldn't see his face, but he was undoubtedly giving Joe the infamous Uchiha death glare, because I could see Joe's, whose face had turned almost white. If I didn't intervine, Joe was a goner.

"Uh..." I ran up to Joe, kicked him in the crotch, and dragged Madara away.

"That's your revenge. I don't need the popo at my door tonight, got it?" I whispered.

"What's the 'popo'?" He asked.

"'Popo' is a slang term for Law Enforcement. Which ARE NOT coming to my house because you kill someone, you got it?"

"Yeah yeah, let's go..." He trailed off, obviously in thought.

At the gas station, I got a 24 ounce cup of cappuccino (White chocolate caramel bitches. :D), and Madara got two bags of gummy worms, and a cola (He better not plan on using that against me). The lady at the cash register was looking pretty confused. There's a 9 inch tall man riding on my shoulder, that's weird in itself, right?

On the way back home, things got complicated as a thug tapped my shoulder, and pointed a knife at me.

"Give me all your money, and your cell phone." Grimacing, he obviously had no idea what he just got himself into. Using the training Madara had forced me into, I dropped the bags and kicked his ass right there, taking his knife as a souvenir.

"Thanks for the busniess, please come again." That felt good. Especially since his arm looked to be broken. Madara turned and looked at me, smirking. I knew what he was going to say.

"I told you that you need it." Sounding as snide as he could, we walked back to my house without any trouble.

Inside...

"NOW, who was right about the training? Hm?" He was mocking me. I had insisted I wouldn't need to train, and now he had proven me wrong royally.

I mumbled something between 'Mmm-hmmm...' and 'Yeah, uh-huh...', but I acknowledged he was right, and handed him his gummy worms. Half way into my cappuccino, I looked at him, intent on some answers.

"So... What's in your jar?"

"Why do you need to know?"

"Because I want to know."

"Well I'm not telling you."

"I'll bribe you."

"Not working this time."

"Sure?"

"Yeah, I could just steal your money anyways and get stuff like that."

"You can't even read my money."

"I'll figure it out."

"Ok then, how much is 45 dimes?"

HA. BEAT THAT. OWNED BY THE WOMAN. I barely contained my own smirk as he went to the computer.

"Anyways, how do you work this thing?" ... He can ask me questions, but I can't ask him? No fair! But, seeing as I'm actually nice, I went over and showed him how to work the computer. For the next few hours, I ended up being his translator because his English skills suck.

The rest of the day was spent on the computer and training, which I couldn't say no to now. Dinner went smoothly, he offered me the cola, but I knew better and rejected it, to which he huffed and went away. Nice try little man, I'm not getting drugged again.

By this far into living with him, I had made him a full-size-Mada-bed, so he would stop sleeping in mine. (Nothing happens, you pervs. Get your minds out of the gutter.)

(P.S. Joe has never teased me ever again.)