Hey! These chapters are getting longer, steadily. Be patient, I really am trying!
HP belongs to JKR, etc...etc...snore. :3
Chapter 7
Sirius sat on the sofa in Matthew's living room, feeling extremely content. Everything, it seemed, was going really rather well for him. His mother had been oddly bearably of late. His school work was going fine. He had an excellent best friend, and an amazing new girlfriend.
Out of nowhere, he'd asked Natasha out on a date. He was 15, and he figured that it was about time he got himself a girlfriend. And Natasha was a first-class choice. She was certainly very pretty, with long auburn hair that fell in waves around her face, and dark brown eyes which were the exact shade of melted chocolate. She was friendly, and she made him laugh. She was good company, and Sirius loved the way her eyes lit up when she spotted him entering the classroom.
He'd asked her out, and she'd grinned and thrown her arms around his neck. She smelt of a sweet perfume, and Sirius found it oddly comforting.
Sirius was beginning to realise just how much time he spent at Matthew's house. It was an extremely appealing alternative, when faced with returning to Grimmauld Place. Matthew didn't mind in the slightest, and neither did Matthew's parents. Remus, however, was a different story. Sirius would notice, every now and again, how Remus' golden eyes lingered on him. He noticed the startled expressions on Remus' face when he walked into the living room to see Sirius there with Matthew.
Sirius initially thought that Remus didn't like him, but as he got to know him better, he realised that maybe wasn't the case. Through Sirius' visits, Remus and he had grown closer. Not quite friends, you could say they were more along the lines of casual acquaintances. Sirius liked Remus' company immensely. His witty observations made Sirius laugh, but Matthew was not so impressed. He'd raise an eyebrow and stare at his brother.
Most of the time, Remus would clear his throat uncomfortably, unable to look Sirius or Matthew in the eye. Sirius could see the blush in his cheeks which would spread to his ears and down his neck. He'd watch, almost captivated by Remus' discomfort, trying to pinpoint what was causing it.
As Sirius had turned fifteen, so another year at school had begun. Sirius was now in Year 10, embarking on his O-Levels. Remus was thirteen, a few weeks away from turning fourteen. He had joined Queen Elizabeth Grammar School, and Sirius saw him sometimes in the corridors on the way to lessons. He'd smile and wave briefly, to which Remus would smile back, looking rather surprised.
Sirius would notice, with a somewhat dampened mood, that Remus was always on his own.
"Come on, Matt." Sirius said, standing up. "We should go into town, you know, see what there is."
"Aww, you just want to see Tasha." Matthew laughed but stood up too, and from the armchair at the other side of the room Remus looked up from his book. Of course, he knew he would not be invited. He didn't particularly want to spend time with Matthew, it never seemed to end well.
"Who's Tasha?" Remus asked. Matthew fell silent and turned to glare at Remus. Remus internally sighed and rolled his eyes. Matthew was so theatrical when Sirius was visiting.
"None of your business." Matthew snapped.
"Ah, calm down, Matt." Sirius placed a hand on Matthew's arm. "She's my girlfriend, Remus." Sirius said, grinning, his grey eyes shining.
Remus smiled, trying to feel happy for him. "That's great. Good for you." His happy tone was forced and he knew it. He sighed quietly and went back to his book, finding it an excellent distraction.
"Come on then." Matthew said, pulling his jacket on. "Let's have a wander."
Sirius scoffed at his quaintness and gave him a playful shove as they headed out the door. Before he left he gave Remus a smile, as if to tell him it wasn't the end of the world if his brother treated him like crap. Sirius wondered if Matthew tried to be subtle about his hatred for Remus. He guessed not, and felt very sorry for Remus. He didn't know why Matthew hated Remus. He had to remind himself continually that this was not his family. He couldn't go meddling in their affairs. It was none of his business. The right thing to do would be to leave the whole situation alone. He found himself very reluctant to follow his own advice.
Remus watched the light of the setting sun stream through the window, the world outside seeming very bright and with an oddly orange tone as the sun set. Remus' father arrived home unusually early, and settled on the sofa across from Remus to read the newspaper.
"What's up, Remus?" John asked, noticing Remus' subdued expression.
"Nothing."
"Has Matthew been nasty to you?"
Remus gave his father a withering look. "He always is."
"Just ignore him. You know he's only teasing." Remus shook his head, amazed at how blind adults could be when they wanted to.
"You don't understand." Remus said, and swung his legs over the side of the armchair so he was sitting sideways.
John didn't say anything, just turned the page of the newspaper. Remus sighed and mostly out of boredom he rolled up his trouser leg to knee height to inspect the gash on his knee. It was healing nicely. Well, it was healing, and that was good enough for Remus. The bruise surrounding it was no longer purple, and instead it had become a rather unattractive green colour, and Remus sighed and pulled his trouser leg back down.
The last moon had been tough, but then again they always were. Remus hated them, of course, but he was glad for his parents' support. He knew that without them he wouldn't have lasted very long.
He remembered his first full moon, when beforehand he had suffered horrible aches in his bones. He had screamed and begged his parents to make it stop, but of course they could do nothing about it. Matthew stood silently at the sidelines, terrified at the change that had come over his normally quiet little brother. Matthew was only six, Remus was nearly five.
When the moon rose, and Remus was no longer Remus, but a tiny, confused, angry wolf pup, Matthew stayed up all night with tears streaming down his face, too horrified to even think about falling asleep. In the morning, when John Lupin brought a bleeding and unconscious Remus back to the house, Matthew was unable to look, frightened and disgusted by the whole spectacle.
And unfortunately, as was Matthew's character, he came to associate these feelings of fear and disgust with Remus in general, not just Remus the wolf. And Remus' parents did the best they could, healing him and looking after him, but as hard as they tried, they couldn't hide the pity they felt towards Remus.
Remus didn't want to be pitied. He didn't want to be patronised by his parents either. He didn't want the hate he received from his brother. He knew there was something missing, something he desperately wanted, but at that moment in time he wasn't quite sure what it was.
Remus sighed, brought back to the present as his father turned the page of his newspaper. "Dad?" Remus asked, staring at patterns in the wallpaper. He wasn't sure if they were actually there, or if his eyes were playing tricks. It wouldn't be the first time. When he began to feel dizzy he blinked rapidly, shaking his head. "Dad." He repeated, when he got no answer.
His father answered from across the room. "Yes, Remus?"
"When…when's the next full moon?"
Remus' father sighed, not looking up from his paper. "Two weeks on Tuesday. Why? Are you worried?"
"No, dad." Remus said, teeth gritted. "I'm not worried. Just…" Apathetic, resigned, fed up. "Just wondering. That's all."
"Alright." John said, eyes still glued to the sports section. "But you know your mother and I are here if you get scared. It's perfectly normal to-"
Remus laughed once, short and sharp. "Normal? Nothing about this whole situation is normal. You should…you should talk to someone like Sirius." Remus said impulsively. "Now, his situation is normal."
"Sirius? What brings him up?"
Remus blushed, but scoffed dismissively. "Just an example, Dad." He was glad, in a way, that he was able to get away with talking to his father like that. John would put Remus' attitude down to a side effect of the moon, and would shrug it off, letting him get it out. Remus hauled himself to his feet, sick of his father's attention only half turned on him. "Going to bed." Remus murmured, despite it only being quite early in the evening.
"Uh huh." John said, and turned another page. Remus retreated to his room, and as he was sat on his bed reading he noticed, through his open door, Sirius' jacket in Matthew's room. Remus continued to stare at it, not really sure why but rather in awe. He shook his head, telling himself he was being stupid. Of course he was. Staring at a jacket like some sort of loon. He sighed and returned to his book.
It was harder than he anticipated, and he was getting annoyed by his desire to look at Sirius' jacket, lying in the darkness of Matthew's room.
He liked it when Sirius was around. He laughed at his jokes and actually listened to him when he talked. And Remus talked a lot, much more than when Sirius was not there. Remus was glad that Sirius couldn't see his desperate and awkward attempt at communication for what it was - desperate and awkward.
Something about Sirius just made Remus feel so peculiar, in the giddiest, strangest of ways.
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~~Allie xx
