Chapter Seven
Pixar Strikes Again!
All was not so bright at the house of Wile E. Coyote. A loud, echoing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" echoed throughout.
"Look at this!" Daffy Duck shrieked, showing Bugs Bunny a newspaper. "That stupid 'Ratatouille' is number one at box-office!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!" Bugs screamed.
Wile E. Coyote ran from the kitchen. "What's going on? What's with all the screaming?"
"Ratatouille is right at the top at box-office!" the duck angrily said, blinking back tears. "Looks like I'll have to buy us all walkers and canes and make reservations at the nearest rest home!"
Bugs angrily added, "It's a crying shame!" He slapped his forehead three times.
Daffy boasted, "I'd rather jump in front of a train than suffer through the success of another Pixar movie!"
"No!" Wile E. said. "Suicide is NOT a good idea."
"But we're CARTOONS!" Daffy protested. "We can't die from getting hit by trains!"
Wile E. thought about it and said, "You are right. But it is still a dangerous idea. I will show you."
Within a minute, they were standing at the nearest railroad crossing. The red signal lights began to blink on and off, and the crossing gates began to lower as bells began clanging. Wile E. Coyote then jumped onto the tracks, facing the headlight of the oncoming train in the distance.
"What are ya DOING?" Bugs Bunny asked.
The coyote explained, "This is what happens when you try to do something stupid."
The oncoming train blared its horn several times, and then speeded through the crossing, plastering Wile E. to the front of the locomotive's hood. It continued traveling a bit, but then with a squeal of its brakes, it slowed down to a complete stop. The engineer climbed out of the locomotive and pulled the coyote from the front of the train as if he were made of rubber.
"Well, well, if it isn't you again," the engineer said in a heavy Brooklyn accent.
"Hi…" Wile E. said nervously.
"You have to keep going on the railroad tracks even though it's against the law," the engineer told him. "Why don't you look or listen?"
The coyote explained, "I wasn't chasing that Road Runner this time. I was demonstrating to my friends there how bad it is to jump in front of a train."
The engineer said, "Well, you picked the wrong time, bub! These commuters are gonna be late to their stop in Cucamonga."
"I apologize for the inconvenience," Wile E. Coyote said, shook hands with the engineer, whom got back into his locomotive, started up the train and left. The crossing was clear, the signals deactivated and the gates rose, and all the car drivers let out a big sigh of relief before continuing with their driving.
"I can't believe you did that!" Bugs said.
"This was so you guys wouldn't do it," Wile E. told them. "It isn't a good idea to hurt yourself due to becoming unpopular, thanks to Pixar again. Anyways, I don't think you should bash 'Ratatouille' just because it's a talking-animal movie and because it's made by Pixar."
Daffy then had an idea. "Hey Bugs, how about one of us goes to see that 'Ratatouille' and see how good it is? We could steal ideas from Pixar!"
"Great idea, Daffy," Bugs agreed. "It was YOUR idea, so YOU go."
Daffy said, "Fine by me."
…
And so Daffy went in disguise to see the movie. Later he came back to the house, and he angrily threw off his trenchcoat and sunglasses.
"Well, how'd it go?" Wile E. asked.
Daffy answered, "That movie was stupid! It wasn't funny and there weren't any good jokes for me to imitate! Plus, everybody was laughing out loud at the bad jokes!"
The coyote said, "A typical response of an audience to a Pixar movie."
"Plus," Daffy added, "the animation looked very similar to any other CGI movie, but everyone loved it and treated it as the best animation in the world! Someone also said that 'Looney Tunes' would be better if it were animated like Pixar."
"Dat's an outrage!" Bugs angrily said.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk. I can't believe people are acting like this," Wile E. sadly said.
"Say, I've got a stupendous idea!" Daffy said. "Maybe we should get Brad Bird to direct our next Looney Tunes projects! Then people might like them!"
"Forget it," Wile E. Coyote told them. "People like the movie because Pixar's making it and because Brad Bird is director, not because it's a talking-animal movie. If the movie were produced in 2D animation, then it'd still be successful."
Bugs smiled and said, "Why, dat's just it! What if we close down all de other CGI animation studios? It could eliminate da competition, and Pixar could have a REAL reason to be the most popular animation studio!"
"But then people will like Pixar just because it's CGI!" the duck countered. "They already like their so-called 'quality' and writing and crew."
"I think that is actually a good idea!" Wile E. said. "But you two had better not try to eliminate the other animation studios. I do not want to do it either. It would just be dumb luck if that happened."
Daffy then noted, "Look, why do we guys always talk about these things here? Can't we go somewhere else to do this?"
"Like where?" Bugs asked.
…
They arrived at Joe's Café, only to find it was out of business.
"It must have had to do with the cancellation of our cartoons," Daffy said bitterly.
Bugs Bunny added, "So now we can't do any more 'Eat at Joe's' jokes. Dat's dumb."
"Maybe we could ask Sylvester to help us out with something?" the coyote suggested.
Daffy was pleased with that. "Maybe he could join up with our little team of trying to make Looney Tunes become popular!"
