My Greeting

"Hi," I said sheepishly as we reached where Mum was stood. Some of the others had stood up and began hugging me, but Mum stayed rooted to the spot. We got introduced to all of Dave's family; I had trouble imagining any of them experiencing a Cunningham Christmas or any other gathering for that matter. I wondered how long it would be before there was some sort of clash. My family, as a whole, are far from 'common' or poor (unless you count Mum's youngest brother, Peter, but nobody has dared mention his name since he got banged up for fraud) but Dave's family. Holy cow. I think they must have had some royal connection. I hoped to god Mum didn't get drunk end up retelling the story of how she caught Julie in a compromising position with someone.

I'd managed to introduce everyone to Nikki, and Mum still hadn't moved.

"Mum?" I wondered if she was already drunk and starting to slip into her sleepy phase. "Are you ok?"

"You're going out with Nikki?" I wasn't quite sure why, but she sounded angry. God. The plan wasn't going work. Crap. I glanced at my best friend and then nodded.

"I didn't think you knew who she was?" Auntie Joyce asked, but Mum ignored her question.

"Nikki?" Mum asked again.

"Yes, Nikki." I smiled, hoping Mum would approve. Although, I then realised, that, seeing as it was all fake anyway, it shouldn't really matter to me if she approved. After that thought, I then remembered the whole point was to make Mum happy, so her deeming Nikki an unsuitable girlfriend, would mean the plan was a failure. Eventually, I came full circle, and recognised that, yes, it did matter what Mum thought.

"You idiot!" She somehow managed to get her tiny arms around the both of us and squeezed tight. "Why the hell didn't you tell me earlier?" She chided me as she let go, finally allowing us to sit down.

"Harry got all worried, didn't you?" Nikki said, in the most patronising voice I had ever heard her use, with a grin etched across her face. Mum looked at me for an explanation.

"You become best friends with all of my girlfriends," I hadn't really been prepared, so I said the first thing that came into my head.

"What' wrong with that?"

"Nothing...until we break up," I waited as the waiter took our orders before continuing. "You still go to dinner with Liz at least once a month,"

"She's a lovely girl," Yes, Mum, a lovely a girl that happened to cheat on me with a good friend. "Although, Nikki is far lovelier,"

"Thanks," Nikki giggled, her cheeks going red.

"I bet it was you who finally got your act together, wasn't it?" Mum then realised everyone else around the table had no idea who Nikki was. "They've worked together for..." She turned to me for an answer.

"7 years," Nikki said immediately.

"7 years," Mum repeated.

"You're a fake doctor too?" Uncle Bryan, Joyce's husband, failed to acknowledge that I had gone to medical school just like every other doctor, but had just decided to not have people's lives on my hands. No matter how much I had tried to explain it over the years, there was no changing his mind. Nikki looked at me, wondering what he meant. I just gave her my just-go-with-it look.

"I guess I am," She smiled.

"Anyway, they've always been best friends, haven't you?" What is about mother's that gives them the ability to make you feel like a 5 year old when you're in their presence? "I always thought something might happen. I could tell by the way they look at each other." If I had had access to a gun at the point, god knows what would have happened. I hated stupid romantic ideals about love at first sight and being able to read each other's minds with looks; my Mum was the polar opposite.

"Mum, you met her three times before now; you can't possibly know how we 'look' at each other,"

"Mothers have ways," She tapped her nose and winked. "So, come on, tell me, who made the first move?"

"Harry,"

"Nikki,"

We looked at each other. We hadn't talked this bit over, which was a bit stupid in hindsight, as it was quite obviously going to be talked about.

"Me,"

"Me,"

Damn. Mum laughed at our indecision.

"I didn't know you both had such bad memories,"

"Harry's memory actually often makes me think I'm dating a senile 80 year old," Nikki and Mum giggled together.

"Oh, hush you," I saw my opportunity to change the subject and grabbed it by the horns. "Bryan, how's your memory holding up?"

"Cheeky git,"

"Still golfing away?"

I managed to delve into simple chit chat for the rest of the meal; Nikki fit right in, sharing 'stories' of various moments in our 'relationship'. I wondered when she had developed such a vivid imagination; the embarrassing made up tales just seemed to roll off her tongue with ease; falling in a swimming pool when out on a case at 1am, taking her to a plane show as our first date (technically this was sort of true, though I still wasn't quite sure whether that was a date or not)

"You and your planes!" Julie exclaimed. "I remember being about 6 and you making me play RAF with you. You made me pretend you're nickname was Churchill!" She laughed and raised her hand to her mouth, pretending it was a walkie-talkie. "Churchill to Alpha 42, do you read me?"

"Thanks," I finished off the glass of wine I'd been drinking.

"Ooooh," I braced myself for what was coming; Mum had managed to consume at least 6 glasses of wine by this point. "Julie, you were so cruel to him when you were little! Remember Sleeping Beauty?"

"On that note," I stood up quickly before any of them had the chance to say anything more. "I will be leaving. I shall see you all tomorrow," I rummaged around my pocket and drew out the room key. "Don't you dare wake me up when you come in," I warned Nikki as I handed it to her.

"Wouldn't dream of it darling," She giggled.

"Night everyone,"

As I made my way up to my room, I began to doubt whether leaving Nikki alone with my family was such a good idea.