A/N - About the plays/characters mentioned in this chapter:
Dido - Ancient Queen of Carthage - after the fall of Troy she met Aeneas (who was one of the few Trojans to escape the city, before the capture of the Greeks) and fell in love with him. When he left her (to sail on to Rome) she committed suicide by jumping into the Mediterranean Sea.
Mary - Duchess of York - wife of George V. - later Queen of Great Britain (grandmother to the current Queen Elizabeth II.)
Alexandra - Princess of Wales/later Queen (was known for her famous beauty throughout Europe - mother of George V.)
Mary Pickford - silent film movie star
Isadora Duncan - dancer (notable her death in 1927 made it in the top ten by many accounts - while driving a car she was strangled by her scarf.)
...
Cyrano de Bergerac - play by Edmond Rostand (first performed in 1897 in Paris) - Cyrano is a cadet and in love with the beautiful Roxanne, but he has a long big nose and believes he hasn't got any chance with her. Indeed Roxanne is totally in love with Christian (another cadet) - Cyrano helps him and writes poems, which Christian tell Roxanne (her believing it's Christian writing them) - later on Christian dies in battle. In the end Roxanne finds out the truth, because Cyrano is reciting a poem by heart without reading it. He dies too at the end being killed on the street - having made many enemies due to his difficult nature.
A doll's house - play by Henrik Ibsen (first staged in 1879 in Copenhagen) - follows the marriage of Nora and Torvald Helmer. To help her husband she forges a signature (to get money) - when he finds out he's angry, but then forgives her - thinking that everything is forgotten now. But Nora can't stand his hypocrisy - realizing that his status and reputation always meant more to him than anything else. In the end she leaves him and her family to finally live her own life.
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Through looking – or better spying – around her daughter's room, Ruth had discovered Rose's diary, which she had frequently used after be given it by her father on the occasion of the 14th birthday.
"What's this?" Cal wanted to know stepping out of his study.
Both had sent Rose away for the time being, telling her she should go shopping with Betsy, because they were worried she might run out of suitable clothes and secondly so she could have some fun and maybe forget her situation for a while. In reality they simply wanted her out of the house in order to be able to look through her things and eventually get rid of them, if they should prove a threat to their plans.
Nothing that could give her any hint of her past should ever fall back in her hands. She wanted to erase all nonsense Rose had ever come up with. She had been given another chance to turn her daughter in the perfect debutante and wife and she was sure not to waste it this time.
"Her dairy…"
"Rose's?"
Ruth gave a nod of her head. It had only been barely covered by some clothes.
"I'm just relieved that I found it before she did. We wouldn't want her to read about any one of us, now would we?" Ruth took out a lighter from the desk "I'm going to burn it…"
"No, wait…," Cal snapped it out of her hands before she could do so thinking of something "…her dairy so…that's great…brilliant…"
Ruth stared at him like he has lost his mind. Cal was sometimes really careless. Whatever would happen, if Rose found out about it?
"Just think about it, Ruth…her diary…her memoir…it's like we struck gold. This little book here tells us all we need to know about our dearest little Rose…her life…her inner feelings…her opinion about us…everything that we could never ask her…even if she hadn't lost her memory…"
"My god, you're right…," she hadn't thought about this. "Mr. Hockley, you're brilliant..."
Cal smirked at her holding the diary up in his hands. He would finally get to know everything about that puzzling fiancée of his. Rose's mind would no longer to hidden from him and he would eventually have some advantage to use against this gutter rat.
"I'm going to read through this now and tell you later on."
….
The diary started with the 7th of June 1909.
Dear diary – today I finally got to begin with writing some something down. Today's the birthday of Daphne and a party at her house.
Cal supposed that this Daphne was a childhood friend of Rose. He had never given much thought to her friends, finding them all dull.
Cal skipped a few pages which were mainly filled with Rose's life in Philadelphia – boring girly stuff about where she liked to spent time with her friends and such. He continued later on by the time her father's illness had reached her family life.
Oct/20th/1909 – Daddy's illness has gotten worse – mother says it might take some time until he may recover – don't know, if she's telling the truth
Oct/23rd/1909 – Heard mother crying and talking to the doctor – about dad? Sadly couldn't make out much.
Nov/1st/1909 – Father is dying! There's no denying it anymore – even mother can't. Daddy coughed blood today (peeked through the keyhole) – he has gotten thin and bony (he looks like a galley slave)
Cal wondered where she had gotten that expression from – most likely from one of those silly books she was always reading.
Nov/8th/1909 – Now mother did finally tell me the truth and allowed me to visit daddy – to – to say goodbye – I tried not to cry, while talking to him – but diary it was so hard – Rose seemingly wasn't very successful following her own demands as this page quite obviously had tear stained – he made be promise to live my life like I wanted to do and not to like mother or anyone else did – I told him that I wanted to become an actress (I had spoken to anyone about my wish, because I thought everyone would mock me) – daddy didn't, he said that I could become anything, if I just worked hard enough – well I might as well try…
So now Cal knew where her crazy ideas had originated from and who had backed them up. Cal – though realizing that it was probably immoral to do so – found that he in fact was happy her father had was already dead. He could very well visualise Mr. Dewitt Bukater standing up for the low trash Dawson. Now – god forbid…
He once more skipped a few pages as he really wasn't he in the mood to be reading about a funeral.
Jan/2nd/1910 – Noticed some of my things gone, but mother pretended not to know – when mother is feeling better (she's also ailing since daddy's passing) I will try to ask her to permit me visiting some academy (university would be best) – but I dare not hope…
Jan/14th/1910 – Finished reading the Ilia and Odyssey – don't understand that stupid Dido – ending her life like this…will certainly never do this…for no man…
The last three words were double-underlined, but Cal didn't pay much attention to this entry as he wasn't able to place it into any context – like Jack would've been. February was filled more stuff disappearing.
March/3rd/1910 – Of course mother said no – oh diary I'm so miserable…
Cal assumed that she was referring to her university plans here. Only two weeks later everything seemed to have changed for the better for Rose.
March/17th/1910 – Yes! Yes! Yes! Mother got a social call from her friend today – Lady Lucille Duff Gordon – she's a designer (even makes garments for the Duchess of York – now in fact the Princess of Wales, but I always think of Alexandra, when hearing this title!) – thought her quite eccentric, but diary…she talked mother into allowing me to take up some courses at university (had of course spoken to her beforehand) – I'll be studying Art in Harvard – what would Mr. Picasso would think? – Doesn't matter, I couldn't be happier!
The page was decorated with hearts and flowers, which Cal found totally ridiculous. A woman studying – how absurd…
Aug/4th/1910 – At last decided about what courses to subscribe to – wanted also to take part in the stage play, but mother wouldn't permit it.
Oct/4th/1910 – First day, but I fear I'm not as talented as my fellow students – they don't take me serious – especially the men and the women only look around for a nice guy to meet – saying goes the Arts are only the way into poverty for men and into marriage for women (it's called the marriage‑institute between the latter)
Obviously Rose hadn't found that funny.
Nov/8th/1910 – It's official now – I haven't got any artistic gift! Well I presume the Dewitt Bukaters are not actually known for that – had courses about architecture of the Middle Ages today – must admit it was really really boring – would so much more like to perform on stage – ah like Mary Pickford and Isadora Duncan (she's my idol!)
Cal laughed slightly to himself, retaining that information for later. He had known that Rose had loved the arts, but he had never had any idea just how far ahead she had actually taken it.
Nov/29th/1910 – Mother is furious with me as I took part in the rehearsal for the annual stage play, which will be held before the Christmas Holidays – they're playing Cyrano de Bergerac – would've played the minor role of Roxanne's maid, but still it would've been great – alas it's not to be as mother discovered and now they've already replaced me.
Dec/25th/1910 – Got some awesome presents – cousin Veronica got a son, naming him William (pah what a tiresome name – will definitively give my children more notable ones – have decided on Roxanne and Nora (after Ibsen's heroine – luckily mother doesn't know about everyone of by books – she would get a nosebleed again – but Nora was so brave and poor, as was the other) – I will certainly never marry anyone, who's as dominant and ignorant to my needs as Torvald!
So Cal memorized it again – Isadora Duncan yes, but Henrik Ibsen – No. He wondered what other dangerous books she had looked through.
But the best or worst – whatever way you look at it – was yet to come – Rose and him meeting. It had been at a ball in early 1911. He was eager to know what she had to write about their first acquaintance.
Feb/10th/1911 – Danced the whole last night with a handsome gentleman from the business college. His name is Caledon Hockley (unusual, but I like it as it's certainly memorable).
March/9th/1911 – Mother has nothing against me going out with Cal (yes we're calling each other by our first names now, of course with mother's approval) – Trudy will act as chaperone (but I know she will be far far away…- she's more a good friend than a governess to me)
Once again she had drawn hearts – this time around his name.
March/10th/1911 – Cal is wonderful and attentive and he is reading out my eyes. He took me to a play yesterday (he knows how much I love the theatre) and then we went dancing again (oh, he's great – a much better dancer than I am, but as a gentleman he said nothing about me constantly tripping him on his feet – though I'm sure it must've hurt him.)
That's for sure – Cal still remembered these dances.
March/20th/1911 – Met with Cal's father – he seems nice, though a little cold and distant – he too approves of our relationship – also told Daphne about Cal, but she was appearantly quite annoyed and doesn't seem to like Cal very much (I think she's just jealous, because she has no one on her own). Daphne is a real tomboy and even allowed to go out in the sun without taking a parasol.
So no Ibsen, no Daphne!
April/3rd/1911 – Oh diary I don't know what to say – Cal asked my hand in marriage – yes, really – in proposed to me – I requested some time to reconsider everything from Cal and I do hope he understands.
April/10th/1911 – Mother took me aside and told me of our desperate situation. I didn't even know that this house was mortgaged to the hilt as well. It's so terrible. I've no other choice, but to accept. I can't let us live under the bridge (as mother always refers to being poor) – I'm so afraid.
Cal was speechless and angry. So far Ruth had never mentioned a word about her debts. He felt betrayed. So Rose hadn't said yes to his proposal out of devotion for him, but simply out of duty. Moreover she had taken out the whole lot from their relationship until she had gotten everything and then she had just thrown him away, replacing him with a gutter rat.
Ruth wasn't any better. They had both lied to him.
May/14th/1911 – Has Cal's attitude changed? He's been looking at me so strange, when I wanted to engage myself into a conversation about politics and has silently hissed at me that this wouldn't be a suitable topic for a woman.
July/6th/1911 – Cal took me through a tour around his home in Pittsburgh – it's really impressive, but diary – he was so, I don't know how to voice it – intrusive – tried to kiss me several times (but of course I told him that this couldn't be until after we are married)
Cal was furious at reading about her supposed Virgin Mary attitude. He was sure that she and Dawson had done much more than just kissing and holding hands. Rose Dewitt Bukater was such a damn little whore wanting to pose for a saint. He could've chucked up.
Aug/28th/1911 – both mother and Cal think that it's better for me to stop with my studies and instead prepare for the wedding (doing monograms and those bridal stuff) – tried to call Daphne, but she didn't answer her phone (I think she doesn't want to speak with me and was renouncing herself) – oh diary what am I to do?
So, it looked like Rose had burnt it with Daphne – perhaps lectured her about the latter's unladylike behaviour – ha! What a joke! Coming from Rose of all people…
Sept/6th/1911 – I finally gave up and will leave the university. It's no use anyway. Cal, mother and I went to a trip north to New York. I would've liked to explore the city, but mother never left me out of her eyesight and Cal has no time for me at all – he's always doing business.
Now Cal really didn't know what she wanted. Hadn't she been complaining before about him too bossy and her hating domineering men? Now what?
Nov/4th/1911 – Diary! He did it! He hit me, I can still feel the blow. I want to cry, but no tears came out. I'm so shocked. Mother wanted to hear nothing about it and only reminded me of our debts.
Nov/29th/1911 – one Cal's uncles has died! He was a younger brother of his father. While I'm sorry for him and his father and don't wish them any bad – I find myself happy, because now the wedding surely has to be postponed.
Indeed it had to be. The wedding was originally to be held in March. If everything would've had happened as planned they would be married now and the Dawson episode would've never occurred. Cal wasn't angry with his uncle of course, but Rose…and Ruth…they were both a different matter.
Dec/25th/1911 – My first Christmas as betrothed and my last as an independent person! Oh dear – Cal has turned into one of those horrible men, I've always detested. Cal = Torvald? I = Nora?
Cal found that she took it to the extreme here. She made it sound like he was some atrocious monster. Cal once more left out several of the entries, until he had come to last one.
March/15th/1912 – Cal really thinks he can buy my love. He bought us tickets for a journey through Europe starting tomorrow. If only daddy would still be alive, he would've talked me out of accepting that ill-fated engagement. Sometimes I wonder – since mother is so fond of him – why she doesn't marry Cal. They would make a great pair.
By now the hearts around his name had turned into pirate skulls. Oh Rose and her dramatic ways yet again! His betrothed really knew it in her and he realized how that her outrageous behaviour hadn't only begun on the Titanic. It had been there all along - Jack Dawson had simply awakened something inside her.
Now it was up to him to put a stop to it once again.
On March 16th they had eventually begun their voyage.
Cal closed the journal angrily slamming it into the edge to the room and got up to pour himself a brandy.
