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Chapter 7: Halloween
Monday arrived with a chilly breeze. Mrs. LaRocque, dressed in her Viking costume, creeped into her son's bedroom. It was 7:00 in the morning. She inhaled as much air as her lungs could store, and a deafening, high, and sustained opera note ensued. Dustin's window cracked, and he woke up with a jolt.
"Man, that was loud," he said. "I wish it were still the weekend and I could sleep in. But today's Halloween, and I gotta put on my costume!"
It took fifteen minutes to put on the whole costume. Then Dustin went downstairs and sat down to a breakfast of jack-o-lantern pancakes, bacon, and grits at the kitchen table.
"I've got the awakening all on camcorder so I can send it to America's Funniest Home Videos," Mr. LaRocque stated. His wife grinned.
Minutes later, Mac pulled up in front of the LaRocque house in the Plymouth Sundance Duster to pick up Dustin on the way to school. He called him on his cell phone.
"Hello?" Dustin answered.
"Hey man," Mac said. "I'm in front of your house."
Dustin grabbed his backpack, walked out the front door, and got into the car. Mac put it in gear, made a U-turn, and started driving.
"You know," Mac began, "I'm really glad how successful this band is coming. My girlfriend, Siobhan Hornseth, is interested in becoming a new member of Frost Moonlight. She's a keyboardist. What do you think about that?"
"I haven't really met her yet," Dustin said.
"You'll get along with her very well, that's for sure." Mac turned right at the next intersection. "Have you heard from Cleo recently?"
"Oh, sure. She told me that her parents can't go to the fair to see the concert because they gotta work during the afternoon."
"That's alright," Mac said.
"She still tells me I'm hot and she wants my sex, and I want her to stay that way. For a long time, it's gonna be horny puppy love!"
Mac guffawed. "Have you kissed her?"
Dustin took a deep breath. "Oh, yes. The other night we spent at her house was one of the happiest nights of my entire life. Cleo and I went up to her bedroom, had a good amount of foreplay and sex, cuddled under the covers, and kissed like movie stars. Her lips tasted like watermelon candy."
"I could hear the voices from the upstairs hallway. What was all the laughing in the beginning?"
"Cleo wagged her tail on my belly, and I tickled her bare feet."
"She sure looks cute with you," Mac said as he took a left onto Quigley Parkway. A guy in a gold Toyota quickly swerved right in front of them to get in the next lane, so Mac honked his car horn. "Idiots," he muttered. He turned right onto Kilgour Lane, the same street that the school was on. When he got to the parking lot entrance, he almost blocked a red 1992 Mazda Miata driven by Mr. Schoos, the school's assistant band director. Mac backed up a bit, let Mr. Schoos drive into the parking lot, and followed him to two empty parking spots. Mac and Dustin grabbed their backpacks from the back seat of the car.
"Mac! Dusty!" Mr. Schoos exclaimed as he got out of the Miata. "Glad to see you guys."
"I gotta go to the band room before school to get my costume," Mac told him.
"No problem," Mr. Schoos said. "Dustin, I love the 80's fashion on you. It reminds me of Isaac Netzer, except he's more new wave." Isaac Netzer was one of the band students who played the alto sax. He was a brown dog with a snout like Cleo's, and he sported an 80's blonde bouffant mullet, Duran Duran style.
Inside, the high school students laughed and showed off their crazy Halloween costumes. When the bell rang, everyone had to go to the gymnasium, which could hold thousands of people. It was a complete madhouse. After twenty minutes of getting the whole school into the gym, Principal Gilchrist, a Dalmatian with auburn hair, walked onto the stage and tapped her microphone.
"Check, check, testing, one, two, three." The conversations in the gym gradually faded.
"I'd like to welcome you all to our Kilgour Krazy Kostume Kontest, which is held every Halloween. We've started this tradition ever since the school was built in 1905, and it has improved during that 106-year period. This is how we do it." Principal Gilchrist cleared her throat. "Every row of students, one at a time, will line up backstage. Each of you will go onto the stage and show off your costume as best as you can. Be patient; you'll all have a turn. Then you will walk back to the bleachers. There are ten placements for the judging. Here's Vice Principal Toshima."
A tiger in a tuxedo walked over to Principal Gilchrist and took the mic. "Ladies and gentlemen, in case you didn't know, I am Vice Principal Toshima. I have enjoyed this fantastic tradition ever since I started my job here in September of the year 2000." Vice Principal Toshima gestured around the whole gym. "During this day that we spend in here, I want all students to not only have fun, but also to show Kilgour Knight pride, okay? Thank you."
Applause ensued. Principal Gilchrist took the mic.
"Okay," she said, "it seems that you all understand the procedures for our own Kilgour Krazy Kostume Kontest. As you know, after the first half of the ceremony, we'll have our lunch break, then we'll go back to the gym and finish the other half before school lets out. Row A1 may line up. My Kilgour Knights, go ahead, have fun, and talk all you want!"
A DJ started playing some music, and every sound rang in the huge gymnasium. Dustin the 80's rockstar and Cleo the SWAT officer sat next to each other, holding hands. Dustin stroked the short, soft fur on Cleo's fingers. Principal Gilchrist called row by row.
Among the costumes the students showed off were an astronaut, a medical technician, a tulip, a box of McDonald's French fries, a biker gang leader, Michael Jackson, Scream, a guy with a chainsaw and a fencing mask, and many more. When T-Bone the gangsta rapper went onto the stage, he rapped the chorus to "My Name Is" by Eminem. Many students and teachers killed themselves laughing. When Mimi the French maid went up, she blew a kiss and emitted a smooth "Bonjour." When Tanner the surfer went up, everyone oohed and aahed at his surfing position, his brown flip-flops, and his chest and abs showing through his unbuttoned short-sleeved collared shirt. When Mac the drum major went up, he faced the audience and clapped his hands.
"BAND! ATTEN-HUT!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.
"K! H! S!" Every band student snapped to attention.
"Just kidding," Mac laughed. "At ease." He then did his own drum major salute, which stunned the school.
Siobhan Hornseth, a grey mouse with a snout like Cleo's and Mac's girlfriend, was next. She was dressed as the Terminator. "Hasta la vista, baby," she said. Then she grabbed her laser tag gun and shot a laser. "Ahl be bahk."
At noon the lunch bell rang, and the students rushed towards the cafeteria and the courtyard. After going through the lunch line, Dustin, Cleo, T-Bone, Mac, and Tanner sat at a table with Mimi, Siobhan, Isaac, and K.C. Young, who had all packed their lunches.
K.C. was a dog who had lost his left arm in a car accident (similar to Rick Allen of Def Leppard) five years ago, so he had a left prosthetic arm. He spoke in a Southern accent since he was born and raised in Austin, Texas. K.C. stood for Kevin Christopher.
"K.C, what's up, man?" Tanner said as he sat down next to K.C.
"Not much," K.C. replied. "Just enjoyin' the day and hangin' out with y'all."
Alice King sat across from Frank Lopez, a blue-green chihuahua who was her boyfriend. Alice wasn't going to eat her tots, so Frank asked if he could have them.
"Go for it," Alice said.
Frank grabbed a handful of tots and started eating them instead of putting them in his pocket like Napoleon Dynamite.
Dustin repeatedly puffed into his bag of Lays potato chips, which made Isaac laugh so hard he slobbered Mountain Dew out of his nose. Everyone at the table roared. Dustin was becoming the school clown.
Forty-five minutes later, the bell rang to signal the end of lunch. The herd of high schoolers and faculty entered the gym and sat back down on the bleachers. The west side of the gym had already showed off their costumes, so Principal Gilchrist called row H1 to line up. Many more costumes wowed the audience, and there were two hours and fifteen minutes left before school let out. Peg Staunton, a Lhasa Apso and a HUGE tomboy, strutted in a secret agent's tuxedo. She shot her toy handgun and said, "The name's Staunton. Peg Staunton."
Isaac was just wearing his regular clothes when he went on. "Let's say I'm just Simon Le Bon, that's all," he said nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders.
Time flew by, and Cleo was the second to last contestant. The lights turned off, and Cleo ran out onto the stage with what looked like a flashlight, but it was actually her machine gun. Her badge shined in the darkness. The lights stayed off. Dustin was the last one.
"We have our last contestant!" Principal Gilchrist said.
Dustin plugged his guitar into the amp set up for him. As he played an A major chord with the distortion pedal, the spotlights turned towards him. First he did a rhythm guitar riff, then he did a short classic rock solo with finger vibratoes, then he went to 70's funk wah-wahs, then he did a long 80's guitar solo using the Floyd Rose whammy bar and the EVH (Eddie Van Halen) tremolo pedal. He shredded, tapped, did some picking, bending, and sweeping with the whammy bar, slide-tapped, and did very cool effects at the end of the 80's solo. He shook the whammy bar up and down as he dived and then climbed, held the following note while tapping the whammy bar, and played a low E flat on the first string. He pushed the whammy bar down all the way on that note until it was barely audible, then he slowly released it. Just after that, he did the famous "Satch Scream" effect in which he adjusted the switch and did some dive bombs. Dustin did the Tom Morello scratching effect, a talk box and synth-guitar solo that influenced Peter Frampton and Edgar Winter, and got to the last part of his performance: thrash metal!
He played the whammy bar intro from "Madhouse" by Anthrax, lightning-fast guitar riffs, and wildly chaotic, wailing solos that influenced mainly Kerry King of Slayer and Dimebag Darrell of Pantera. These solos involved shredding, dive bombs, and shaking effects on the whammy bar. For the final note, Dustin played a very high note and did a Slayer-esque shaking dive bomb. Everyone loudly applauded.
"Students," Principal Gilchrist announced, "the judging will now begin. You all did very well. Tenth place goes to Mimi Naskiewicz!"
"Ninth place goes to Mac Migliori!"
"Eighth place goes to Luna Phillips!"
"Seventh place goes to Hunter Burnett!"
"Sixth place goes to Isaac Netzer!"
"Fifth place goes to T-Bone Reynolds!"
"Fourth place goes to Peg Staunton!"
"Third place goes to Cleo Farley!"
"Second place goes to Tanner Farley!"
"And last but not least..."
"C'mon, pick me, pick me, pick me..." voices whispered.
"First place..."
Dead silence.
"...goes to..."
Many students gasped.
"Dustin LaRocque!" Principal Gilchrist yelled with a huge smile.
Suddenly everyone stood up, cheered, and went nuts like you wouldn't believe. The top ten contestants went to the stage to receive their medals. The judges put the medals around each person's neck.
It was 3 p.m, and Principal Gilchrist finally said, "I hope you have a happy Halloween!" The last bell rang and the school left the gym.
"Where do you think we should trick-or-treat tonight?" Mimi asked Dustin.
"Maybe around a few neighborhoods, including mine," Dustin replied. "My next-door neighbors, the Phillips and the Billings, are very friendly and positive people."
"Do you know if Cleo's house has a party?" Isaac asked as he fixed his hair.
"Nope. Not yet," Dustin said.
Peg Staunton ran up to him. "Dude, can I have your autograph on my guitar? I'll be your roadie for your band."
"Don't mind if I do." Dustin took the black Jackson guitar, which had a tremolo bar like Dustin's, signed in red Sharpie, and gave it back to Peg. She gave Dustin a firm handshake, just like Mr. Schoos.
"I love you, man," she said with a huge grin. "You're like a GOD to me." She looked up "Dustin LaRocque" in the school directory book and found his address.
"Kerrick Street? I know where that is. Come on!" She took Dustin past the fountain to her car, a navy 1995 Subaru Impreza two-door coupe. Both of them got in. The car's interior smelled like cocoa butter.
"I know your girlfriend, Cleo," Peg said. She started the car, put the stickshift in first gear, and drove off. She looked in her rear-view mirror and pushed her bangs over her left eye. "Does she play in your band?" she asked as she shifted to second gear.
"Yep," Dustin said. "She's been playing the bass for nine years."
"Cool!" Peg said. "So Dustin, what if you wanted to play 'Higher Ground' by the Red Hot Chili Peppers? Everyone would just be blown away by Cleo's slap and pop technique."
"I've seen her YouTube video uploaded yesterday. She did a bass cover of that song, and thousands of people made that video a favorite. All 'cause she's a poodle!"
Dustin could tell that Peg LOVED heavy metal. She was the lead guitarist for her band, Incubus Spindle. She had even did a cover of "Cliffs Of Dover," an instrumental by Eric Johnson, and during the chorus, for every four sixteenth notes, she bended up with the whammy bar.
When they reached Dustin's house, Peg rummaged through her backpack, took out a candy necklace, and put it around Dustin's neck.
"To Iron City's guitar god," she said. "Wait! Before you leave, can I see your guitar for a sec?"
Dustin unzipped his guitar case. Peg nearly fainted when she saw the guitar.
"Oh my f***ing god! This is so unreal! Rosewood fingerboard, Floyd Rose double locking tremolo bar, red poker dice volume and tone control knobs, a Van Halen tremolo pedal..." She kissed the guitar and gave it back to Dustin.
"I'll see you tomorrow at the recording studio!" she called from the car as Dustin walked toward the house.
By nightfall, Dustin grabbed a huge trash bag when the doorbell rang. He opened the front door and the storm door and found Clifford, Cleo, T-Bone, Mac, Tanner, Mimi, Siobhan, Alice, and Isaac. "Hey!" they chorused in a singsong way.
"You ready to spook the night away?" Siobhan asked.
"Let's scare people out of their minds!" Clifford said. "We didn't wanna start trick-or-treating without you."
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Cleo asked. "Let's go!"
The clan went to many different houses, even two-family houses, which were more crowded because one person from each unit would simultaneously pass out candy. There were even some houses with pranks. For example, there was a guy dressed as a scarecrow sitting on the front porch with a bowl of candy. Cleo walked up the front steps, and the scarecrow quickly stood up with the bowl and said something that sounded like, "Wear my hat!" Cleo hollered and ended up on the floor, her tail quivering. She then laughed her feet off.
The Farley residence was covered with Halloween decorations, and the candy they served included huge flashing candy pinwheels, Lollipop Paint Shop, king-sized candy bars, and full-pack Air Heads with special flavors. Music blasted out of the speakers inside the house, and teens were dancing, laughing, eating candy, and having barrels of fun. A random guy in a fencing mask chased the gang on the way out of the front yard.
When Dustin got home, a pile of candy about as big as Mount McKinley lay on the bedroom floor. That was a wild night to remember.
