FRIDAY, MAY 27TH - Noon

(115 days prior to the incident)

Beckett exited the elevator carrying a huge, white shopping bag with a logo on it. She stopped equidistant between Esposito's and Ryan's desks, where they couldn't help but smell the delicious aromas wafting from the bag. She asked, "Lunch, gentlemen?"

Ryan looked at the bag, than her, than the bag again. She could almost see him drooling. His voice seemed half an octave higher when he asked, "Is that really a bag of food from Mejlander & Mulgannon Deli?"

"Yep."

"You drove all the way down to south Brooklyn for our lunch?"

"Yep."

"That's like my favorite place, ever. How did you know?"

"I'm a detective, Ryan. It's what I do." Actually, Castle had discovered this little tidbit, and shared it with her last month. Just another example of Castle's powers of observation. She ruthlessly squashed any further thoughts of her maybe ex-partner.

Esposito stood up, and announced "Enough talk. I'm starving." Ryan also stood, and they started towards the break room, but stopped when Beckett called to them.

"Guys, I reserved the conference room, so we wouldn't be disturbed." She walked the other way, followed by the two men, who exchanged a look. They entered the conference room, and Beckett started emptying the bag and scattering food around the table. "Let's see. Reuben sandwich, Corned Beef sandwich on pumpernickel, my Club, something called a Porchetta, beef brisket, plus three different soups, chips, and cookies. To drink all I got were three waters." She looked at Ryan and asked "What's a Porchetta? They seemed to know you and your entire family, and strongly recommended it."

Ryan smiled dreamily. "It's this pork that takes them all day to slow cook. They add all these spices to make it truly unique. It is to die for."

Esposito snorted. "To die for? I'm embarrassed to even know you, bro." He grabbed the Reuben and a water and sat down. "You've been hanging with your sisters too long, it's time for you to man up."

Ryan snagged the Porchetta sandwich, potato soup, chips, and a water and sat next to his partner. He unwrapped the sandwich. "You know, if you apologize, I might give you a tiny portion of this unsurpassed example of mouth-watering deliciousness . . . ." Ryan took a huge bite and said around a mouthful of food " … but I doubt it."

Beckett had taken a seat opposite the men, and started on her club sandwich. She swallowed before scolding "Chew your food and swallow, Ryan, or I'm going to tell your mother."

Esposito smiled at Beckett. "Gee, boss, I thought you were our mom. You yell at us. You feed us. You make us do our chores. You're our work mom!"

Beckett passed a tortilla soup to Esposito, then sampled her tomato basil. "See? Look! I'm ignoring you, Esposito." She turned to Ryan. "Wow, Kevin, this food is incredible. When I saw it was this little hole in the wall, I thought I might have the wrong place."

Ryan nodded. "Another major contribution to the quality of New York City life by my Irish brethren."

Silence descended as the three detectives got down to the serious business of eating lunch. Beckett looked upon the two men opposite her. God, she loved these guys. They were perfect teammates. Smart. Dedicated. Loyal. They both seemed to take almost everything in stride, and used humor a great deal to deflect the seriousness and horror of their jobs. So she, in what she now considered a fit of insanity, had done her best to screw that up this past month. Whether it was intentional or not, she had hurt them deeply, and there was absolutely no excuse for that. She sighed, and decided to start with that exact sentiment.

"Guys. Javier and Kevin. As you've probably figured out, I asked you guys in here so that I could apologize to the both of you. Sincerely. My behavior this past month has been inexcusable. I never meant to have any of this shit happen, and my refusal to pay attention to what was painfully obvious to everyone else is unforgivable. You are the best teammates, the best partners, I could have ever hoped for, and I don't deserve you. But I need you. You guys make this job doable. I can't change what has happened this past month, but I can do everything in my power to make amends." Damn it, she felt tears tickling the back of her eyes. She would not cry! Her voice quavered slightly when she added "I can make a solemn promise to you both that nothing remotely similar will ever happen again. Ever. Never on my watch."

Ryan looked at her and said softly, "We're not the ones you need to be apologizing to, boss."

"Actually, Kevin, you are. What I did, and more importantly what I failed to do, over an entire month, affected us all. As it was pointed out to me last night by a great friend, what I did was totally screw with the dynamics of the best team in New York." She nodded at Esposito, who at least had the wit to nod back. "What I'd like to know, is what can I do to repair the damage I've caused between us."

Ryan looked up from his soup, his eyes growing much colder. Kate thought how easy it was to forget, with his quick smile and easy demeanor, that Kevin Ryan was an extremely tough cop. That look certainly reminded her. "I don't know, Beckett. Let me ask you something. Do you know how bad it really was for Castle? It seemed that Demming saved his worst for when you weren't around. Esposito and I called him on it a few times, but Castle asked us to back off."

"Castle asked . . ."?

Esposito shrugged. "Yeah. Technically Demming outranks us, and he was dating our boss. Castle didn't want us to get into any trouble, with you or with IAD. He didn't think it would be a great career move for us to deck the asshole." He looked at Beckett and showed a fake smile. "Sorry."

"No, you're right, he was an asshole. Is." She dreaded the answer to the next question. "What else was Demming doing to Castle?"

Ryan's eyes blazed. "Always called him 'Civie', 'Civie Sissy', or worse. Questioning his manhood. This last week he kept crowding him every chance he got. At the coffee machine. In the elevator. Walking on the sidewalk in front of the precinct. You know, typical intimidation shit. Bumping shoulders. Getting in his way. He wanted Castle to throw a punch, or at least shove him. Castle kept his cool, except for that one time."

"What happened that time?"

Ryan looked at his partner, who shrugged and said "Might as well tell her, Bro."

"It was bad, and even Demming knew he'd over-stepped. We were all working late, and Castle asked Little Castle to stop by and drop off some pizza's for us. Demming was just coming out of the interrogation room with you as Alexis was leaving. You took the suspect back to holding, and Demming went to the murder board. He HAD to know who she was, but he made an, um, inappropriate comment about her. Two of them, actually." Ryan had the good grace to look embarrassed. "Castle stormed into the break room, threw his empty mug against the wall, and left for the night."

Beckett's jaw had dropped in shock. "Oh my god. I don't care what he said, that's despicable! How could you guys not tell me?"

Esposito sighed. "Kate, we all fucked up, okay? We thought you knew, that this was part of your anti-Castle campaign. The next morning, I remember you kidding Castle about his mug, telling him real cops weren't that clumsy."

All the blood in her body seemed to rush into her head, on to her face. Beckett closed her eyes and let out a low moan. Her sandwich stopped agreeing with her. "Oh, God! That was the next day?" She remembered that conversation, and how Demming had laughed. She lowered her head, as ashamed as she'd ever been in her life.

Esposito passed the brisket sandwich over to Ryan, then seized the corned beef on pumpernickel. He opened a bag of chips. "I gotta ask you, boss, what in the hell did you ever see in that guy?"

Beckett was about to call Esposito out on delving into her private life, but closed her mouth again. Took a calming breath. No, it was her personal life that she had brought into the workplace, that had messed everything up. They had every right to bring it up. She nodded and said, "Unfortunately, I only saw what I wanted to see. It had been … a while … since I'd dated anyone. I … figured … it was time for me to quit hiding in the job. So I latched on to the first attractive guy who started paying attention to me. Major mistake." A vision of Ellie Monroe, Castle's scheming actress from last month, came unbidden to her mind, and how much teasing she'd subjected Castle to for his taste in dates. For the slut's hidden motivations. Ah, irony!

Esposito grinned. "So, have you kicked his ass yet?"

She shook her head. "No. I started in on him this morning, but he was conveniently saved by a Robbery call out."

Ryan snorted, but had to wait a little to finish his mouthful. "I take it from your tone of voice you thought the call was faked."

"Yeah. He kept peeking at his watch, like he was waiting for something." She looked at first one, then another, teammate. "He threw this all back on me. About how I was always bitching about Castle, about my annoying shadow, and that I couldn't do anything about him because of Montgomery and the mayor. About how he was doing me this huge favor, getting rid of Castle without any political blowback. Tell me the truth, guys. Am I really that bad?" She looked to Esposito like she was afraid of the answer.

But it was Ryan that answered for the two of them. "Boss, anybody who isn't blind, deaf, and dumb knows that you and Castle have this weird love-hate act going, and ninety-nine percent of the stuff you guys say to each other is to get under the other's skin. I have heard you make fun of his hair, clothes, looks, personality, sexuality, vocation, mannerisms, intelligence, morals, and eating habits; and not once have I ever doubted your mutual respect and friendship." Ryan grinned. "I do, though, sometimes doubt your sanity."

"Anyway, what are you worried about, Beckett?" Esposito looked disgusted. "We all know Demming is full of shit. It's obvious that all of this crap was to try to weasel onto our team." Esposito suddenly realized the ramifications of that remark, and how it made Beckett and Demming's relationship appear. How she was duped. His eyes widened involuntarily. Ryan realized it too, and had a similar reaction.

Beckett's voice was at her very driest, empty of any lilt. "Thanks for that, Detective Esposito. I had reached the same conclusion about ten minutes after our conversation last night. I feel so much better now."

She nibbled on a chip as she watched Ryan pick up his soup bowl and slurp down the remainder. She let his manners pass. She squeezed her eyes shut for a second, then reopened then. She licked her suddenly dry lips. "Gentlemen, I have forfeited any rights to ask for favors, but I need your help. Any ideas on how I can fix this with Castle." Her eyes were desperately pleading, even if her tone wasn't. "I really want him to come back, to feel welcome again. The sooner, the better. Anything you guys can think of, short of falling on my sword?"

The men looked at each other, and Beckett saw one of those non-verbal communications that all good partners share. She felt a pang when she realized she'd shared quite a few of those moments with Castle, and worried if there'd ever be another. Her partners' look lasted just a second, and they apparently came to some sort of meeting of the minds.

They both turned back to look at her, small smiles on their faces. Esposito just said "Nope."

Ryan added, "Sorry, not a clue."

Esposito. "But that falling on the sword thing might help …"

Ryan looked like he was thinking real hard. "Well, it would be interesting to see."

She narrowed her eyes, looking at their little half smiles, and growled, "What?"

Esposito sighed. "Open your eyes, Kate. Why do you think he's been following you around all this time? What, research? The guy's done enough research to write 50 books. Look, whatever the reason is, I'm pretty sure it doesn't include watching you be with another guy."

"What are you saying, Esposito?"

Kevin looked at her with pity. "Are you serious, Beckett? You really have no idea why Castle has stuck around for two years? Why an independently wealthy guy would willingly share our terrible hours, eat cold pizza and skip meals, and stand around crime scenes in rain or freezing cold? Why he withstood Demming's crap, and came back for more?"

"What? You're saying that Castle all of a sudden has a crush on me?"

Ryan replied, "I really don't think it was very sudden. Do you, partner?"

Esposito chimed in "No, and I think it's a little bigger than a crush."

"C'mon guys, this is Castle. You know, the guy who's always on Page 6? The guy who was banging that skank actress last month? Castle of the deep-fried twinkie? I don't think so. He's a great and fun partner, but that's all it's ever been."

Esposito looked back at Ryan and said, "You know, partner, maybe she's right. I have a boss that says we should always follow the evidence. Should we examine the last two years of their partnership?"

"I think that's an excellent idea, partner. Why don't you start."

Beckett sat back in her chair, well aware that her two junior partners were about to embark on one of their Laurel and Hardy acts. She took a drink of water.

"Okay. Let me see." Espo looked up for inspiration. "There was that time last year they were going undercover at that fund raiser. He didn't want her to be embarrassed, so he had made, in like two hours, a five thousand dollar dress for her to wear. Who does that for a partner?"

Ryan shook his head: "I wouldn't do that for a partner." He looked at Esposito. "I might lend you one of my ties, though."

Espo: "Thanks, but no thanks."

Ryan: "How about that time he tackled her when she let that Nigerian guy sneak up on them, then distracted him with a freaking bottle of champagne? Would a mere partner do that?"

Espo: "I would never do that for you. I might yell for you to duck. Maybe. And I wouldn't waste the champagne." He looked at Beckett. "I got another one. I seem to remember this civilian running into a burning building for someone. Do you remember that?"

Ryan: "Hey, I might do that for my partner, but I'd wait for the fire department first."

Espo: "C'mon, Ryan, you wouldn't do that."

Ryan: "Ha. You're right, I would never do that. That's fucking suicide. Hey partner, didn't somebody open up their home, which he shared with his Mom and teen, for like two weeks while some homeless person was waiting for an insurance check?"

Espo: "Yeah, I remember that. Hell, I would NEVER do that for you. You snore like a … a … a drunken Irishman. I might give you directions to the YMCA, though. Hey, Ryan, was that before or after this civilian went into a building, following our boss who was chasing some lunatic, and shot HER OWN gun out of the guy's hand right before she got shot?"

Ryan: "Actually, I think that was during. And by the way, I would definitely do that!"

Espo: "Oh really, Mr. Sharpshooter? You haven't hit the '10 ring' on the firing range in like forever." Esposito stared into Beckett's eyes, who had a small smile on her face as she enjoyed their banter and her memories. He said in a soft voice, "I also remember this same guy chasing a cold case because it was important to his friend and partner. Spoke up about it, knowing it was going to get him in trouble, because it was the correct thing to do. I also recall him spending a hundred thousand dollars of his own money on a long shot, because she needed him to." Esposito reached into his pocket and pulled out a few coins, mostly pennies. He put them on the table in front of Ryan. "Here you go, partner."

"Thanks, partner."

Beckett raised one eyebrow. "So what, Espo? He's hopelessly in love with me? Is that the message here? Instead of falling on my sword, I should fall on his?" Her eyes suddenly grew huge as the boys started laughing uproariously. Her hand flew up to her mouth. "Oh, shit, did I really say that?" As they continued their hysterics, she couldn't help but laugh with them. The joy her two partners found in each other, and in life, was contagious. She added "No way. Anyway, after this last fiasco, I'm swearing off men for a while."

Ryan's laughter started to taper off. He looked at his boss and choked out, "In that case, you need to stay away from my sisters" which set Esposito off on another bout of hilarity.

Ryan's laughter died down. He wiped his eyes with a napkin. "Kate, you're missing the point. We're not suggesting any kind of romantic relationship between the two of you," his smile widened, "although I think you two would be awesome together. What we're saying, is that Castle is the most forgiving guy we've ever met. And if you say that all you two have between you, after two years, is some sort of a distant professional association, you're a liar." Ryan shrugged. "He cares for you, you care for him. Tell him what happened, and tell him how sorry you are. Apologize profusely. Plead temporary insanity. He'll come back."

Esposito wiped the tears from his face. "Now Beckett, he might still be mad. He'll probably yell at you, or lash out, or pout. Hell, if it was me, we'd have the knock-down drag-out fight of all time. Cause I'm tough, but I'm fair. But it's not me, it's Castle. He's a great guy, who'd do almost anything for you. As long as you convince him this was all Demming, he'll get over it." He started to clean up the remnants of his lunch. "And it's not Ryan, it's you. You'll say you're sorry; he'll forgive you, than you'll both ignore it like it never happened. It's what you guys do. You'll both be back to your weird routines in no time."

Ryan, who'd been gathering up his trash, spun abruptly. "Dude! You did NOT just make me the girl in this partnership!"

"Hey, if the slipper fits, Mr. Sharpshooter …."

"I seem to remember a certain stake-out where my partner went through a bottle of lotion . . . ."

Beckett fled the room.

A/N: I apologize for the length of the chapter, but don't blame me. It is totally Ryan's and Esposito's fault!