A/N: I originally intended this story to be SasuSaku from Sakura's POV. It was about what she would do if Sasuke had three days to live. In the end, Sakura saved Sasuke with Tsunade's help, but he had spinocerebellar ataxia. So, he dealt the death blow to Itachi before it was too late and died peacefully. Then I read a beautiful story and decided that it would be better to write through the POV where you can't do anything; Naruto's POV. Yes, so the story is going to turn out entirely different now. It's a lot longer and the ending could be different...?
Edited August 25, 2012.
DISCLAIMER: I wish I owned Naruto so I could put Sasuke in a dress XD. To see him embarrassed would be cute.
'Till Death Do Us Part – Broken
"It looks like you'll have to kill me."
Shock settled into Naruto's system as memories of that day over a year ago recollected inside his mind.
"There's another…outcome. But it won't…happen. If I live…with complications. Dying."
"I swear I'll take care of you if that happens. It won't, but I'll stay by your side and help you. You won't have to be alone, Sasuke!"
"It won't happen. I'll die. I won't ever need…your help. But if it does…happen, promise me…Naruto. No matter what…you'll..."
"I swear! What!? I'll do it!"
"Kill me."
Sakura gasped and put a hand to her mouth. "You can't be serious, Naruto! You said you'd kill him!?"
"Sasuke!" Naruto gaped, "You can't…I can't…I can't ju-"
That's what I was forgetting.
The ill teenager interjected, "You swore you would. I thought guys like you never went back on their word."
"What the hell happened, Naruto!?" Sakura demanded to know, her hands curling into fists as she stood up straight as a board.
"I thought…he'd make it without anything bad happening to him!" Naruto screamed as turmoil stirred within him. The Kyuubi remained silent, to his pleasure. "I didn't think this could happen! I swore I would do what he told me to…"
"Don't talk like I'm not here!"Anger was evident in Sasuke's voice. "I'm not dead yet."
"Exactly!" Sakura's sea foam eyes stared into obsidian ones. "You're still alive, so why make Naruto stain his hands with your blood!?"
"Because there's no reason to exist!" Sasuke was becoming furious, rage boiling inside his endless black pools. "Why live without a reason? I might as well BE dead. I'm going home."
Naruto nodded, "I'm going with you! Plus, I'm not going to kill you unless you give me a good reason to!"
"To live without a reason is a good enough reason to die!" the Uchiha spat. "Did you have a reason to live when all the villagers hated you? Didn't YOU want to die?"
"NO!" Naruto yelled, "I wanted to kill them because I was angry! I never wanted to die! I wanted to make them pay!"
"Revenge," his dark eyes brimmed with pure wrath. "That was my reason for living, and you expect me to continue to live with my broken ambitions?"
"Why can't you just live for other people!?" Naruto shouted. "Revenge isn't everything!"
Naruto's cheeks darkened, the scars on his face becoming three solid black lines running across each cheek. Fury began leaking from him in the form of scarlet chakra as his nails grew longer into claws. His eye teeth lengthened, becoming almost canine.
Sakura grabbed Naruto's arm, pulling at him, "Naruto, calm down! Don't get angry."
"I lived for one person. I lived to kill him. Nothing else mattered. His death was the sole purpose for my life, but now it's too late. Revenge was my everything," the Uchiha glared.
His voice is so beautiful…So smooth and deep. It's kinda enchanting I guess.
"Sasuke…" Naruto's claws slowly retracted from Sakura's efforts and the sound of his best friend's voice, "Why can't you live for me? Why can't you live for me Sakura? Why can't you live for the people in your life that give a damn about you!?"
Sasuke didn't reply. He stood up from the bed and straggled towards the door, ignoring the ones who called themselves his friends.
"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura screamed. "You're not alone, so don't you dare take your life away! Not when there's still a chance of saving you! Tsunade-sama and I are doing all that we can!"
"Neither of you matter to me. You never have and you never will."
Sasuke's words were like sharpened knives cutting into their skin again and again. Naruto suddenly felt as if he was bleeding, as if his heart was bleeding uncontrollably.
"What the hell do you mean that we don't matter to you, bastard!? How can you just say that!? How can you walk out on us like this after all that we've been through!?"
If Sasuke heard him, he didn't care. He shut the door behind him with a thud.
"Naruto…" Sakura said quietly, "Leave him be. He needs to cool off some steam, and with the way he is now, you'll catch up to him too quickly. Give him at least some sense of independence, of strength. I don't think he's the type to commit suicide anyway; he's too strong for that. Anyway, what happened between you and Sasuke-kun?"
Naruto's eyes were wet as he gazed into Sakura's visage.
I never should have said anything to him.
Naruto sighed and told Sakura everything. With great of detail he began with the training accident and ended at the part where Sasuke went into cardiac arrest. He almost shed tears halfway through it, but he pulled himself together. When he finished, Sakura began to cry.
"Naruto," Sakura gulped, "You're going to regret it the rest of your life if you don't kill him and he dies suffering, in pain, or angry. You'll always wonder if you really made the right choice. Will you regret it if you kill him, but he dies happy? Or will you just regret his death in general? You'll still wonder if you made the right decision. Naruto, it's going to have to be your choice. If you decide to kill him, let me know. Just don't do it now; if you decide to, kill him if we don't have anything close to a cure and he's about to going through major suffering. Suffering as in he's losing the ability to breathe and can barely move at all."
"I can't just kill my best friend!" Naruto yelled. "His blood on my hands…That's not right! But for him to die angry at me…that hurts too. I wouldn't be able to bear it if he died like that…"
"Like I said, Naruto," Sakura opened the door to leave, "don't even think of doing that now. We should go to his house, either just you or me because he'll probably get angry if both of us go. Maybe you should since you're going to move in with him. Get him more comfortable with you. I already know you're comfortable with him," she winked.
"Uh…yeah!" Naruto punched the air, his cheeks tinted rouge. "I'm going to if he likes it or not! That's a promise!"
Uzumaki Naruto raced through the streets of Konoha. The blaze of the sun beat down on his back even though it was October, forcing him to wipe his forehead of sweat.
"Dammit, Sasuke! I'm gonna kill - no, I'm gonna beat you up when I find you!"
Naruto eventually made it to the Uchiha District during that hot afternoon, having unzipped part of his jumpsuit from the heat. Even though he had been to the Uchiha District a few times, he was always shocked at how huge, how lonely, it seemed to be.
And for him to live alone in this gigantic place…No wonder he is the way he is.
"Sasuke!" he yelled. "Where are you!?"
The blond ran into the first house on his left and tried to remember his way back to Sasuke's room, but despite his efforts, the raven-haired teenager wasn't anywhere, not even in his own bedroom. Naruto cursed angrily and ran back outside. The sky had darkened, and rain began to sprinkle down from the heavens. A rush of adrenaline flowed through Naruto's body as he ran forward towards the end of the pathway.
Why am I going this way? I should check out the other houses, but I feel like I have to go this way.
He made a few twists and turns at each fork, his intuition directing his feet. The rain slowly started to pour even harder, drenching his sun-kissed skin.
A few small, but unmistakable dry sobs choked out from the distance.
Sasuke?
Naruto rushed forward until he could make out a white, thin figure ahead of him. Sasuke was sitting in front of a large, silver stone with names inscribed in it in fancy script. The jinchuuriki stopped just behind a tree and watched the sorrowful scene.
"Okaa-san…Otou-san…I'm...I'm sorry. I was never able to live up to the Uchiha name. I was never able to become as good as Itachi, and I never will. I wanted to kill him to give our clan back its pride, and I wanted to marry the only girl I trust to restore our clan, but I'm not going to live long enough for that. I'll never avenge this clan. I always was useless and will continue to be that way, and now I'll just be a burden too. I'm sorry for not being good enough. I can't bring down Itachi with me, and I won't live long enough to bear any Uchiha children. I don't believe in heaven or hell, but...I'll join you in the nothingness."
Naruto was stunned as he listened to his best friend pour his heart out. Sasuke's defenses of hatred and anger were gone, only leaving sadness and grief inside of him.
He's never said anything this deep or let any emotion besides anger and annoyance get through…Sasuke! Don't do this to yourself…
"I thought that the oath to not die before I killed Itachi would save me, but I'm weak. Depending simply on words to save me…Pathetic. I've always been a failure…Who was I kidding? Thinking that Otou-san would ever say 'as expected of my child' to me...I can't do anything. I'm just baggage now." Sasuke sank to his knees and rested his head against the tombstone. Naruto could see him shaking, holding back tears. "I knew there was something wrong with me ever since I started tripping more often and lost my reflexes back over a year ago, and I thought I might have this disease. I should have just died. I'm just bringing more shame to the Uchiha clan now. First I couldn't save my family, my parents...then I couldn't avenge and restore the clan...I went as far as to use drugs to escape from my disease, and now one of the last of the two Uchiha is just a vegetable," he laughed bitterly. Naruto cringed at Sasuke's words full of self-inflicted poison.
I think I understand him a bit more now. He's always been trying to outdo me just so he would feel like he's worth something, so he could kill Itachi! He doesn't get that none of this is his fault though...he doesn't need to feel this way...but he's as smart as ever if he figured out that he has spinocere - whatever so easily.
The autumn breeze flew crisply through the Uchiha grave, causing Naruto to shiver slightly. After a few minutes of wordlessness, the silence was broken.
"Either come out or go away, idiot. You're annoying just standing there," the remaining Uchiha breathed harshly, obviously trying hard to suppress tears.
Naruto eyes widened when he realized he had been caught. With a chuckle, he stepped out of the shadows and strode to Sasuke's side. "Just as perceptive as ever," he grinned sheepishly.
The cream colored boy lifted his head from the grave and looked to his left, away from Naruto, "How long have you been here?"
"Long enough I guess," the blond shrugged. If Sasuke had to ask that, then maybe he wasn't as perceptive as he used to be.
"Don't give me any crap about that you'll stay by my side or I'll get better. Your words mean nothing."
"What the hell are you talking about!?" Naruto frowned, his voice echoing through the field.
"They're meaningless."
"They're not! I mean everything I say!"
"Oh, what about your promises?" Sasuke snapped. "I thought that you considered promises to be a binding contract, something that you hold onto for life."
Naruto sat down on the wet grass angrily. "Can't you understand what I'm going through? How can I kill you, my teammate?"
"They way one can kill their own brother."
"But I didn't do anything to hurt you!" the blond whined impatiently.
"You're hurting me by breaking your promise!"
Naruto bit his lip. "I...I will kill you only if there isn't any hope for you left, but Sakura and Baa-chan are trying to help you right now. You'll get better, so why die now when you can live, get better, and then kill your brother?"
"You're foolish to have hope. I'm not stupid, Naruto," Sasuke hissed. "I researched illnesses I might have when I first noticed the symptoms over a year ago, and I knew I might have spinocerebellar ataxia. Naruto, it's a genetic disorder. This disease is written inside every damn cell in my body! I'm damaged goods no matter how you look at it, and trying to regenerate cells that don't replicate themselves is damn well impossible."
"Sakura and Baa-chan are really good. I'm sure they'll figure out something," Naruto cast his eyes downwards.
The two rested in front of the Uchiha grave for what could have been an eternity. The sky's tears continued to fall, only serving to make Naruto more depressed than he already was. Sasuke breathed in and out, the moving of his chest so hypnotizing to the jinchuuriki, the only thing that could take his mind off his troubles and lull him to sleep. Several hours later, the clouds parted and, the moon reflected its light beyond the horizon.
"Pathetic."
"Huh!? What!?" Naruto snapped his eyes open at the sound of the Uchiha's voice. Sasuke had switched positions and was now lying with his back against the stone. His entire body was soaked and shivering, but he still seemed so gorgeous.
Sasuke continued, "The moon. Everyone considers it to be beautiful as it shines, but it's not really shining. It's fake. It's only reflecting the light of the sun. It's not real."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Naruto laughed cheerily. "I really don't get you sometimes."
"Hn. You're the one who doesn't get it."
"WHAT?!" Naruto yelled, "What do you mean, bastard?!"
"You don't understand, and you never will," The Uchiha snarled as he put a hand on the smooth gravestone. He managed to pull himself up shakily and began to stride back toward his house, but the way he was walking was strange. The blond stared. The way Sasuke walked now…It wasn't like limping. He wasn't struggling. It was like he was waddling. His legs were spaced out from each other, in line with his shoulders so his body like an upside down Y. Right before he lifted one foot, he placed all his weight on the foot he had just advanced, then took a small step forward and focused his weight onto the newly advanced foot. However, each foot only made minimal progress, and it gave off the illusion of Sasuke just shuffling from side to side, barely advancing forward. It was…scary.
Sasuke…You really are…
Sasuke's face was tinted pink with embarrassment, a color that never showed up on his smooth complexion. He could feel Naruto's eyes ogling at him, staring at his walking.
"What are you looking at?" the sickly teenager spat as he came to a halt.
Naruto blushed, "Nothing! Hey, do you wanna go and get ramen?"
"Don't change the subject. Plus, I hate ramen."
"Well, that's because you're a bastard!"
"And you're an idiot!" Sasuke hissed.
"Who are you calling an idiot!?" Naruto yelled.
"Shu-" Sasuke was suddenly cut off by an enormous grumbling sound coming from the inside of his hollow stomach.
Suddenly, the situation seemed to lighten up enormously. Everything became funny, sickly humorous. The blond found himself with tears in his eyes as he buckled over in laughter.
"That's so funny! I've never heard you hungry before, Sasuke!" Naruto stopped to wipe tears from his eyes. "Why don't we grab a bite at your place? Sakura told me to stay with you anyway."
"What time is it?" Sasuke looked away, his expression unreadable.
"Probably around midnight. We've been here a while!"
"And you thought Ichiraku might be open?" Sasuke scoffed as he continued to walk on awkwardly. "Anyway, in any case...Happy Birthday."
Happy Birthday.
Those words echoed within the walls of Naruto's skull, bounding and rebounding. A sudden warmth crept up behind him unexpectedly and he felt a strange sense of peace.
If it is midnight, today is October 10th. He remembered.
"Let's go back to your place!"
Naruto began to stroll forward slowly with Sasuke, reaching to the light at the end of their tunnel.
The next month passed without incident. Naruto lived in one of the several guest rooms to help Sasuke as much as he could. Sakura had taught him everything about how to care for him without belittling him. She taught him how to give him his medication, how to treat epilepsy if he were to have a seizure, the warning signs, and how to care for a disabled person. Sasuke didn't leave the Uchiha District once, although he did leave his house every once in a while to try to retain his walking. Sakura brought them meals to eat since both of them were lousy at cooking, and she had also brought over some of Naruto's things, including his five crates of ramen. Besides that, things didn't change between the two boys; Sasuke was still unresponsive as Naruto kept on trying to break through the glass walls surrounding him.
One chilly November night, Naruto woke up suddenly. A sense of foreboding washed through him as sweat dripped down his tanned face. Stealthily in his blue button-up pajamas, he exited his room and headed to one of the several rooms down the hall and around the corner; he had finally gotten used to how the Uchiha houses were set up. He crept down the disturbingly empty dark halls and slid the door to Sasuke's room open.
The room was dark, thick with black. The white walls seemed to be choked by the darkness, the bed with lavender sheets barely visible. Sasuke's dresser and scrolls were lost within the smothering black. Even Naruto felt as if he were being choked as he struggled to see through the darkness.
The Uchiha was nowhere in sight.
Where the hell is he?
Naruto slammed the door shut, rattling it. He dashed down the cool floors and eventually found himself in the living room, a plain space with a Japanese kotatsu table in the middle. It had a few shelves and paintings hanging here and there on the colorless walls. In the center of it all, Uchiha Sasuke was sitting directly in front of the table in pair of black shorts. He sat there completely shirtless, staring straight at Naruto. No, he was staring beyond him.
"Sa-Sasuke?" Naruto stuttered.
What's wrong with him?
The pale skinned Uchiha simply blinked in return.
Naruto paced back and forth throughout the room. Memories of a year ago sank into his head, causing the anxiety within him to increase, causing his heart to beat faster with worry.
"SASUKE!" Naruto screamed and ran to his fallen body. "Open your eyes! OPEN YOUR EYES, DAMMIT!"
His eyes opened, thick blood streaming down his head from the crash.
"Sasuke, are you okay? ANSWER ME!"
But his injured friend did not respond. He was staring out at what was in front of him, unmoving. He did not blink or move in any way. He just stared out as if he were daydreaming.
Sakura-chan told me that if this happened that we would need to up his seizure medication. Apparently this is a type of seizure? I need to talk to her, but I can't leave Sasuke like this!
"Hey, snap out of it!" Naruto yelled futilely. "You gotta wake up!"
Sasuke then suddenly came to. His eyelids fluttered rapidly and he focused his eyes. His obsidian pools looked at his surroundings, taking everything in with a single breath.
"What happened?" he asked groggily. He placed his head in his hands, "I don't remember a thing."
She told me he might forget things too. I'm so lucky to have a girl like Sakura-chan helping me take care of him or I would have freaked out a while ago!
"I don't really know myself," Naruto admitted, "I just woke up and found you here! Weird, huh?"
"Hn," Sasuke grunted when a strange look glinted in his eyes, and all signs of the real Sasuke were gone. Swiftly, Sasuke's body pulled a kunai out from under the table and pressed it to his chest, too quickly for Naruto to react. A bead of blood fell onto his shorts, staining them like a blossoming poppy.
"SASUKE!" the blond ran forward to his best friend and grabbed the kunai, tossing it somewhere behind him. "You can't do that!" He stared at the wound, only to find just a prick.
The Uchiha blinked again, "What did I just do?"
Naruto stared into his onyx orbs, "What do you mean? You just tried to kill yourself or some crap!"
Sasuke looked back, a slight look of surprise on his face, "Why the hell would I do that?"
The blond kept on staring; Sakura hadn't told him anything like this would happen.
"Your chest is bleeding! What proof do you need!?" the blond struggled to keep his emotions in check.
The Uchiha looked down and his eyes widened in shock at the sight of the minimal amount of blood. For once, his mask slipped. The walls around him crumbled. Bits of fear and confusion pieced themselves together in Sasuke's eyes, and utter terror ran him over like a truck. He stood from the table and clumsily began walking back to his room, trembling. Naruto trotted behind him slowly. Sasuke was obviously afraid, an emotion he never revealed before. Nevertheless, he hadn't shared it with him yet.
I'm not letting him go back to sleep unless he opens up more! He needs to be human and let it out!
Sasuke didn't question Naruto as he trailed behind him. He entered his dark, cold room and lay down in his unmade bed. He suddenly looked up at Naruto, "What are you doing here?"
Naruto felt icy this time as he flicked the light switch on. Sasuke was losing his memories one by one, piece by piece, memories he could never get back.
Sasuke…what's happening to you?
"I found you over there and then you tried to kill yourself. Then you came back here with me…" Naruto tried to explain.
"Naruto, I don't remember any of that," Sasuke stated weakly, hints of alarm creeping into his voice. He sat in that bed vulnerably, trembling harder than before.
Unexpectedly, the ivory skinned boy fell backwards into his bed. He jolted, electricity running through him like poison, and only the whites of his eyes were visible instead of the usual endless black. His limbs struck out at the hair as his head shook violently, crashing against his bed time and time again. His back vaulted upwards as a choked gurgle escaped from Sasuke's throat.
Naruto dashed forwards, "Crap, Sasuke!" He grabbed a pillow off the bed and tried to push it underneath Sasuke's head, but his pale hand whacked Naruto's bronze face with a sickening crack. The blond was thrown backwards into the wall, knocking a photograph off the dresser. Glass shattered throughout the room, and blood dripped onto the carpeted floor. Naruto rubbed his aching jaw and gazed at the sorry scene. Sasuke continued to thrash uncontrollably on the bed, foam leaking from his mouth.
As abruptly as it started, the Uchiha ceased to move.
"Sasuke!" Naruto stood up, racing forward. He gazed at Sasuke's torn and broken hand, which was bent at an odd angle. Carefully, he tried to move his body into a more comfortable position, placing his head softly on a white pillow. With the back of his hand, he wiped away the foam from Sasuke's lips, then ran out of the room and into the bathroom straight across. Flicking on the lights, he rummaged through the pristine cabinets and pulled out medical bandages, racing back to Sasuke's bedroom and taking his wrecked hand. The blond unwrapped the bandages and tried his best to cover them neatly and tightly over the hand, but they still looked messy and useless.
"Ugh…" obsidian eyes fluttered open.
"Sasuke!" Naruto shouted, "How are you feeling!?"
"Be quiet," Sasuke breathed. "You're giving me a migraine."
"Sasuke, you had a seizure, bastard," the blond whispered with a toothy grin, "but you're fine now. I think you broke your hand from hitting my face, so we'll go see Sakura-chan tomorrow!"
"What else happened before that?"
"You don't remember," Naruto stated more than questioned. "You woke up and had the other type of seizure, then you tried to kill yourself, and then you had a seizure…"
"Naruto," Sasuke's voice wavered, "I don't even remember waking up."
"Sasuke…"
If I can help him at all, I have to do something now.
Holding his breath, the blond genin stepped forward, taking one step at a time. Carefully, as if to avoid stepping on a land mine, he sat down beside the afraid teenager. He closed his eyes as he placed an arm around his best friend's unnaturally cold torso. Naruto could feel Sasuke's ribs sticking out against his own chest.
I've hugged him before, but...this is different.
For once, Sasuke did not go rigid or pull away. His once perfectly chiseled chest, his once rock hard abdomen, they were both simply flat surfaces. Sasuke had lost his muscle strength from the coma and would never be able to get it back. He would never go on a mission again. All of this, Naruto thought about, and tears came to his eyes. Their hug meant both the beginning and the end. How he used to pull Sasuke into a hug when things were okay, when things were normal. Now they were hugging because the end was coming sooner than it should have.
I have to believe that things are gonna be okay! I have to be strong for the both of us…
"Naruto," Sasuke paused hesitantly, "I'm…"
"What?" the blond asked innocently.
The raven haired whimpered unnaturally, "I'm...I can't..."
"Just tell me," Naruto smiled. "I won't laugh at you."
"I'm scared."
The walls separating them fell as Naruto broke the surface, feeling the freezing water beneath the ice. It was frightening, too human for words.
Naruto shut his cerulean eyes closed. "It's okay to be scared once in a while. Crying doesn't make you weak. It's good to cry every once in a while, you know? It might make you feel better."
Am I saying the right things? I don't know what to do now that I've gotten through to him.
Sasuke didn't reply. He simply touched Naruto's wrists as if to convey the wish for Naruto to let go oh him. With a smile, the blond obliged; it was time for Sasuke to rest. The Uchiha then closed his eyes as his breathing evened out.
He looks angelic, even in pain. His pain runs deeper than anything I can imagine. Why is it always you, Sasuke?
Naruto inhaled deeply as he let his body fall into place beside Sasuke's. In the darkness he searched for the thin, unbandaged hand that belonged to the other boy and grabbed it softly. With a sense of tranquility, he shut his eyes closed and fell into a deep sleep.
He could have sworn that he could feel Sasuke squeeze his hand in return.
A/N: Note, a kotatsu is that small Japanese table. Anyway, this chapter made me sad. A bit of NaruSasuness for you! I love OOC Sasuke, his true side. I was going to make this chapter longer, but I thought it might be best to end it here. I wanted an intimate moment that is a bit of a breaking point to happen rather than to end it where I was going to…You'll see that next chapter: Uncontrollable.
