AN: Howdy.

Chapter 7

I had barely gotten to sleep when a cool breeze woke me. The whole night was me tossing and turning in anger. My mind was racing with thoughts of Edward Cullen and his mercurial moods. I couldn't even figure out my own constantly changing views thanks to him. The last boy on earth I would ever want to be obsessed with was now the only one I could think of. It wasn't only because he and that family of his were the weirdest people I had ever met. I was attracted to the guy who I thought I hated.

I actually was a hormonal and confused teenager. It was the worst news in the world.

It was blessing that I finally found some rest and now I was cold. It was completely ridiculous that the window was open in this frigid town and—

I never opened the window. My father had been loudly snoring all night. Charlie sounded like a rusty chainsaw trying to cut through steel. It was a terrible racket.

Jumping out of bed, I yelled, "I have a shotgun, stalker!"

There was shriek and the sound of limbs crashing and leaves rustling. I rushed to the window and stared at the ground and found only a pile of pieces of the tree.

What the fu—

"Bella, you okay?" Charlie's head peeked into the doorway. "Why the hell do you have the window open? It's the damn tundra out there."

I shut the window closed so hard that it was a miracle that the glass didn't shatter.

"I woke up and it was open." I leaned against the frame with my arms crossed. "You were too busy snoring to do it. There seems we have a mystery afoot, Scooby Doo."

Charlie looked contemplative. "What the hell is going around in this town? There are missing hikers and now my kid thinks we have a ghost—"

"Old timer, I never said I thought it was a ghost. Though let's not rule it out." I glanced back at the closed window. "Seriously, what the fuck is going on in this hellhole?"

"Kid, you have the mouth of a truck driver."

"I learned it from you," I pointed out. "Charlie, you have the language skills of drunken sailor."

He shrugged and grinned. "That I do. I guess you take after you old dad."

"I guess I do." I moved away from the window to sit on my bed in all it's girly purple sat next to me. "Let's get back to the issue of the case of the open window."

"Are you sure you didn't open it up and forget? I do that sometimes. I was sound asleep in my bed and I woke up in the middle of the night a week ago with a beer clutched in my hand," he told me.

Sleepwalking and beer seemed natural where Charlie was concerned.

"Maybe but—"

Charlie patted my hand. "I have a crappy Christmas bell that was your mother's. I'll put it on you windowsill and we'll figure this out."

Sure. When the rusty tiny bell that she got from Santa Claus rings and the psycho killer gets me, we might have our answer.

Ghosts were still a possibility. They would be the best possible answer. I've always wanted a pet.

XXXXXX

The wheels on the bus took us to Old McDonald's Farm on field trip day. There was excited twittering by my fellow students. Molina was wearing a pair of overalls and a rain poncho. He clapped his hands happily. "If you kids behave nicely, I bet they'll let you each take home some sprouts."

My classmates were thrilled by the sprouts and visiting livestock. We had devolved into preschoolers after a thirty minute ride.

The dirty yellow school bus smelled like flatulent boys and my head was sticking out of the window when we pulled up the farm's greenhouses. Angela was passed out from the smell beside me. Grabbing her barely conscious form, I dragged her into the fresh air. She took a deep breath and gasped, "That's what toxic waste smells like!"

She was completely correct and I was so happy to escape that tin prison until Mike jumped in front of me.

There was a pulsating volcano waiting to erupt on his face. The puss filled bump was the size of a nickel and surrounded by angry red irritation. I couldn't take my eyes off of it.

"I told Tyler that there was no fucking way that you would let him take you to prom." The pimple told me. I mean Mike. "I'm completely available to take you."

"No."

I waited for that thing to burst and get face mucus on me. My brain filled with different ways to cause his demise if that occurred.

"Come on, Bella! Every girl likes to get all pretty and go to a dance. I'll even get us a hotel ro—"

"No." The unwanted images of sexual relations with Mike were more disgusting than his massive pimple.

Mike swung an arm over my shoulder. "Come on, girl. We can do a little bump and grind on the dance floor."

This was all my worst nightmares coming to fruition.

"Kids, everybody in to the greenhouses! We need to talk about composting and photosynthesis." Mr. Molina was bouncing on his heels in his need to fill our brains with the magic of plant life. I had a different need. It was called a place to hide so I could take a nap.

Jessica was glaring at me. I was struck by an idea.

"Michael, you should take Jessica. She's the only chance you have to get laid," I pointed out. "I will never have sex with you."

This would save my father and Dr. DILF from having her badger them to take her.

He thought about it for a bit. "I wouldn't have to get a hotel room. I hear she likes backseats."

"At least take an SUV with a roomy trunk," I helpfully added. "It's more romantic that way."

I felt a little like cupid. A devious and mean cupid, but I still was helping making a lust connection for horny teenagers.

Mike took my hand. "Thanks for the suggestion, Bella. I always thought that maybe Jess and I had some sizzle."

Gross.

"Drop her hand, Newton," Edward pulled Mike's hand from mine, making Mike squeal in pain. My cranky crush looked absolutely feral. He took my arm and pulled me to a chicken coop. "We need to talk."

"Well fiddle-dee-dee, Mr. Cullen. You make me absolutely feel faint by the barbaric way you pull me like beast. What a way you have with the fairer sex! You make me all swoony at the completely ungentlemanly way you just acted. Want to ravage me by the pigs, big boy? You seem to have some things in common. Never mind, they seem sweeter than you."

"He was touching you." His face was still furious.

I looked down at his hand squeezing my arm. A rooster who must be extremely confused crowed. "You seem to be touching me too."

My arm was dropped and he squeezed the bridge of his nose. "We can't be friends. I'm not good for you."

"Cool."

"What?" He seemed sad. "You're accepting it that easy?"

"I'm not going to beg," I informed him. The chickens seemed to be cowering at the back of the fence that surrounded their home. A little mutt looked at Edward and howled. It ran off with his tail between his legs. Interesting. "I'm too good for that nonsense."

"Oh."

I felt compelled to make him feel as confused as I felt. You could say that the devil made me do it.

I leaned in rubbed my nose against in. He gasped and those long eyelashes fluttered.

"What was that?" He didn't move his nose from mine. They remained touching.

"That's what the Eskimos call kissing, I've heard." I rubbed it slowly against his again. "That is the kind of greeting you'll be missing."

I moved away and Edward tried to move back in. I turned my back on him and saw our witnesses. Alice, the crazy sister and her stone face beau were staring at us. The sister was happy bouncing and Jasper was glaring at me like he wanted to rip off my head.

I waved at him and called, "Hey there , psycho killer! Much too busy to be murdered today."

"Bella, you have a great nose," Edward said as I turned to face him.

"I have even better lips."