Hope for Elaine
"Are you quite sure about this, Sir Topham?" Mr Richards, the manager of the Culdee Fell Railway, asked. They were inside Mr Richard's office at Kirk Machan Railway Station.
"Positive," the Fat Controller replied. "Elaine has Acrophobia, caused by the accident her boiler sustained while she was being built. She can't help being terrified of heights."
"Which makes her too dangerous to be a mountain engine," Mr Richards finished sadly. He began fiddling with his pen. "The railway's board met yesterday to try and decide what to do with her."
"And what did they decide?" the Fat Controller asked fearfully.
Mr Richards stared despondently at his pen while he played with it. "Nothing. They couldn't reach an agreement. And before you ask, the option to scrap her did come up, but it was immediately quashed. We've all invested so much money into having Elaine built, and even with your generosity in having her built at your Works, she still cost us a small fortune. Besides, she hasn't done anything worthy of being scraped. I know she's timid, especially around people, but she seems to get along really well with the other engines, and I know she wants to work hard. However, if your diagnosis is correct, then maybe we need to consider other options. After all, we can't have a mountain engine who's terrified of heights, can we?"
The Fat Controller leaned forwards. "I've been giving this problem a lot of thought, and I've narrowed down your options to two."
Mr Richards looked up. "And what are they?"
"The first is that we could look at having Elaine rebuilt as a normal narrow-gauge engine, and then you could sell her to Sir Handel Brown, to work on the Skarloey Railway. You could then use the money from her sale to build another new engine, but it wouldn't be ready until next summer. The second option, and the one I favour the most, is that we try to teach her to control her phobia. I've done some research, and while it is possible to control phobias, they can never be fully cured."
"I see. And just how would you teach her to control her Acrophobia?"
"I spoke to a specialist over the phone yesterday, and he said that Acrophobia can only be controlled through conditioning. Let Elaine go as far up the mountain as she feels comfortable with, and gradually, over time, she'll start to feel more and more comfortable with the height. One day, she'll eventually get to the Summit without suffering a panic attack."
"That'd work if we could get around two obstacles. One, we need Elaine to run revenue trains safely this summer, and two, she's been banned from running until she passes her brake test. Culdee has suggested that maybe she could be allowed out to help do some shunting in the yard, but I can't even let her do that, or we'll get into trouble."
"So, Elaine really needs to pass her brake test before we can even try to teach her to control her phobia," the Fat Controller mused. "That's not going to be easy. The specialist I spoke to said that there were medications available for people, which help to calm us down and prevent panic attacks, but they've never been tested on an engine. I'm not even sure if it would work. She'd need a huge dosage for it to have any affect anyway."
Mr Richards stood up, and he went over to the window. He could see the engine shed in the near distance, but he couldn't see Elaine in the darkness. He exhaled deeply before turning back to face the Fat Controller.
"Anything's worth a try right now," he said. "But instead of human medication, why don't we try one that's used for livestock? It'd be much more potent."
The Fat Controller smiled slightly. "And I know just where to get some! Let me take care of that side of things. May I see Elaine before I go, please?"
"Of course you may! I think I'll come with you."
…
Inside the engine shed, Elaine was all alone…again. The other engines tried to keep her spirits up in the evenings, but during the day when she was on her own, her fears kept returning to her. She was sure that the men were planning to scrap her, so every time someone approached her, she'd jump and start hyperventilating.
The dusty corner was also severely affecting her health. Every time she breathed, dust got inside her tubes, causing them to slowly get blocked up. She had to cough to try and clear them, but it wasn't very effective. Because of that, she'd now started sneezing a lot too.
Hearing footsteps approaching her, Elaine began to panic again. However, this time, her hyperventilating was so badly strained that she started coughing hoarsely.
The Fat Controller frowned with concern when he heard Elaine coughing. He switched on the torch Mr Richards had let him borrow. What he saw shocked him. Even though Elaine had only been out of service for a week and a half, she looked like she'd been abandoned in the dusty corner for months. Her gleaming paintwork was now dull and covered in soot and dust, while her pretty hazel eyes that had been so full of enthusiasm were now filled with fear and distrust. It tore at the Fat Controller's heart to see any engine suffering so terribly, but what made it even worse was the fact that Elaine was so young. New engines were so impressionable, and he doubted if Elaine would ever forget the way she'd been treated. He turned angrily towards Mr Richards.
"How could you have let her get into this condition?" he boomed. "The poor engine is clearly sick, and she's suffering badly! You should've covered her with a tarp at night, and let her sit out in the fresh air during the day."
Mr Richards looked very sad. "I didn't realise she had gotten this bad. I'm so sorry, Elaine. I just-"
"Stay away from me!" Elaine shrieked when Mr Richards reached out to touch her. Surprised, Mr Richards instinctively obeyed. The Fat Controller sighed and he shook his head. Then, he walked closer to Elaine.
"Now, now, Elaine," he said soothingly. "I know how frightened you are, but there's really no need for you to be like this." And he reached out to touch her cheek.
Elaine flinched. "Please, don't touch me!"
But the Fat Controller placed his hand firmly on her cheek. Confused, poor Elaine burst into tears, and she began coughing again. The Fat Controller frowned with concern. Her cough sounded very painful. He gently rubbed her cheek. That seemed to calm Elaine down a bit, and she leaned into his hand a little. It was a subtle gesture, but it was a positive one. The Fat Controller smiled slightly in the darkness. She trusted him.
Finally, Elaine stopped crying, but the Fat Controller kept rubbing her face. "S-so, when am I going to be scraped?" Elaine whispered.
The Fat Controller removed his hand. "Is that what you're so afraid of?"
"Y-yes. Shane said that Godred had been scraped."
"Godred deserved to be scraped," Mr Richards explained. "He was given many chances, but he never learned from them. You've only had one chance, and you deserve to have more. If we give you another chance to pass your brake test, do you think you'll be able to pass it?"
"Oh, yes, sir! Now that I know about my automatic brakes, I'm sure I…" Elaine's voice lingered off. Actually, she wasn't sure if she'd be able to pass the brake test, because it would mean that she'd have to climb up to the Summit again. And then, if she passed, she'd have to keep going up to the Summit. Maybe the shed wasn't so bad after all.
Elaine coughed again. This time, however, the Fat Controller noticed some black flecks come out of her mouth. He knew what that meant. Elaine's blocked tubes were starting to cut off her breathing. He turned to face Mr Richards.
"I want to see Elaine outside in the yard in five minutes!" he ordered. "She is to receive a thorough wash, and her tubes are to be cleaned out immediately!"
"Of course," Mr Richards replied. He hurried over to the station platform, where Alaric had just returned from the Summit.
Elaine looked up in surprise when Alaric backed down in front of her. However, she was too sick to say anything, so she remained quiet while Alaric pulled her out of the shed.
Soon, Elaine was receiving a thorough wash, and a fitter cleaned out her tubes using a special brush. He filled a whole wheelbarrow full of dust and soot from Elaine tubes, which was dumped far away. Now that her tubes had been cleaned, Elaine stopped coughing, and her breathing returned to normal. She was already starting to feel better, but she was still worried. The Fat Controller and the manager walked over to her.
"How are you feeling now, Elaine?" the Fat Controller asked her kindly.
"Much better, thank you, sir. Are you really going to give me another chance?"
"Of course! This railway needs you, Elaine."
Elaine looked down at her buffers doubtfully. "I'll do my very best, sir. When will the inspector be back to test me?"
"I'm not sure," the manager replied. "It all depends on when he's available. But, I can promise you that I won't put you at the back of the shed again. That was wrong of me to do that, and I'm sorry."
Elaine didn't know what to say, so she just blinked. The manager and the Fat Controller walked away. Then, Culdee arrived back with his coach, Catherine.
"Elaine!" he called out excitedly. "They let you out of the shed!"
"Yes," Elaine smiled. "The manager has decided to give me another chance." Her smile vanished. "But I'm not sure if I really want it."
Culdee was surprised. "Why not? Don't you want to be able to take passengers up to the Summit and see them enjoying the view?"
"Well…I do want to be useful, but I'm not sure if I'm really going to be useful as a mountain engine."
Culdee inched closer to her. "What makes you say that? Margaret told me that you were very gentle with her, and that you didn't bump any of the passengers around. Most young engines can't do that, so you should be very proud of what you can do. Failing your brake test isn't the end of the world, you know. We've all made mistakes."
"Oh, I know…" Elaine sighed despondently. "But it's not just that."
"What is it then?"
"I…I'm afraid of heights."
"Oh." Culdee didn't know what else to say.
"Please, don't tell anyone else," Elaine begged. "I don't want them to laugh at me."
"Oh, I won't!" Culdee promised. 'But they won't laugh at you."
"Why wouldn't they? I'm a mountain engine who's afraid of heights. I don't belong here."
"That's nonsense! Of course you belong here!" Culdee scoffed.
Elaine looked up at Culdee Fell in the distance. "I want to be able to do the job I was designed to do, but… I get so frightened, Culdee. I keep thinking that I'm going to fall."
"I know what that feels like," Culdee sympathised. "I know, because when I had my brake test, I forgot I had automatic brakes."
Elaine immediately perked up. "What happened?"
"I remembered at the last minute, and I managed to stop safely, but I couldn't stop shaking for hours." He smiled reassuringly at Elaine. "Secretly, we've all been nervous going up there at one time or another, but we've learned to control our fear. Being nervous can be good though. It helps keep you alert so you don't make any mistakes."
Elaine brightened some more. "Really? Do you think I could learn to control my fear?"
"Absolutely! But it will only happen if you want to control it." And with that, Culdee steamed away.
To be honest, I'm not too happy with this chapter, for various reasons, but I'll let you, my readers decide if you like it or not. I know I'm my harshest critic, lol!
