Neverland
Disclaimer: Another odd little fic that plagued my mind. LOL. No, but seriously, me likey this odd pairing. I had an idea to do a movie-versed theme pairing of the two and thought it was a rather intriguing idea. And I know a few may say that Shockwave was killed by Optimus. Well, my opinion on the matter is that he ripped out his eye. I have seen most bots survive worse than that. But for those anal about that sort of thing, I will keep it at an AU status.
"My darkness has been filled with the light of intelligence, and behold, the outer day-lit world was stumbling and groping in social blindness."
-Helen Keller
"It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel."
-Unknown Proverb
By: VampireQueenAkasha
"...a magnificent creature."
-Shockwave, Foundation Issue 2
The Aberrant Autobot
Earth
Red Alert awoke in the middle of the night to Shockwave's fierce snarls again. They terrified her because she was certain that he was going to tear his berth to ribbons given their ferocity. She rushed to his berth side and gave his massive shoulders a shake.
"Shockwave!" she exclaimed, "Wake up!"
Shockwave gave a fierce, buzz saw-like snarl and his optic brightened. He looked up at her and growled threateningly, straightening in the berth. It took a moment for him to regain his senses from his nightmare before he glared at her.
"What are you doing?" he snapped.
Red Alert shook her head anxiously. "You were having a nightmare!" she exclaimed, "I woke you because I was worried you were going to kill someone in your sleep!"
Shockwave tilted his head and his optic narrowed at her; it seemed that he was trying to figure her out or understand the reason behind her actions, but could not. He gave a frustrated snort and stood up, walking to the window of his quarters to stare out into the night.
"I admire your nerve, Autobot," he said, his voice suddenly calmer now-too calm considering what had just happened seconds ago, "Not many would dare come near me and attempt to wake me from a recharge nightmare." He was silent for a while and his voice changed, taking on a darker note that chilled her circuits and sent a shiver running down her back struts. "Let me ask you something, Autobot; what do you want?"
Red Alert looked surprised. "What?"
"What do you want?" Shockwave asked again. There was a pause, followed by a low scraping sound; he was dragging one of his jagged claws across the wall beside the window of his quarters. It was a painful, unsettling sound that made Red Alert cringe where she stood. There was something about his voice that made her Energon freeze; something that carried a deeply-restrained beast waiting to be unleashed.
"Go on. Tell me," Shockwave ordered, in that calm voice, "I won't be angry. What do you want?"
"I-I don't understand what you're asking," Red Alert stammered, sensing danger just around the corner.
"Hm. You don't know what I'm asking..." Shockwave repeated. He turned around and approached her before his optic burned with a fury that had no name. His mandibles spread with a fierce, gurgling hiss that sounded like he was choking on his own Energon. He suddenly seized her by her chest grill and shoved her into the wall.
Red Alert gave a frightened cry and grabbed at his arm. "Shockwave!" she cried, "What are you-?"
"It's a simple question!" he spat, his collected calm gone completely, "What do you want?" He paused for a nanoklick and snarled with obvious frustration. "Perhaps I'm not being clear enough! What do you want from me?"
Red Alert was terrified; she had never been on the receiving end of Shockwave's wrath and knew of him as a restrained, collected mech who did not fall prey to emotion as easily as other did. He was an assassin who took duty above his own mental will. But here he had changed all of that; he was now a furious, snarling beast waiting to tear her spark out. Considering what he was known for, it wouldn't surprise her if he did.
"I-I don't know why you're asking me this!" she shrieked.
Shockwave tossed her into the wall again. "Don't lie!" he spat, his optic wild, crazed and insane, "They brought you to me from the beginning to get into my head, didn't they? And now, I can't get you out and I can't function properly! Why? What have you done to me? That day you performed the surgery, you must have done something to my processor, didn't you?" He shoved her harder into the wall and brought his blazing optic close to hers. "WHAT DID YOU DO? SPEAK UP OR SO HELP ME, I'LL KILL YOU RIGHT NOW!"
Red Alert looked startled and completely terrified by his vehemence. Her optics widened in disbelief before she looked down at him. "Shockwave, listen to me..." she soothed, her voice shaking with terror, "I did nothing to you. What I did and chose was of my own volition. If this is because of what-" No, that wasn't a good idea to correct a delusional bot. She attempted another tactic and hoped it would work to save her life. "I swear to the Allspark that-"
"The Allspark is gone, so you swear to nothing!" Shockwave roared.
"I swear to Primus-"
Shockwave snarled. "Swear to me!" he spat, those mandibles flicking with lubricant.
Red Alert shivered in his grip in silence before she gently pressed her hands to his arm, feeling him tense at her touch. She decided to try something else; something risky, but hoping that it would work. "It must have been so terrible for you..." she said, softly, "To have been told every waking day of your life that you weren't good enough. By your own father. To have someone who you looked to as a teacher, a friend-who treated you like you were nothing."
Shockwave's optic narrowed. "You don't know a thing!" he spat.
"You're right, I don't," Red Alert said, tearfully now; her voice was still shaking in fright, "I can't imagine what it would be like to have someone who you wanted to care for you say those things. To treat you like an animal. To have every day of your life feel like you're life meant nothing. It's not fair. It wasn't fair to have you treated like that."
Shockwave looked confused by her tears. It was foolish for an Autobot to weep for something that she didn't know or understand. The confusion that he felt frustrated him completely; he wasn't used to being confused and hated it. What would it matter if she felt pity for something that had long transpired? It made no sense to him. Why did she feel sympathy for something that would never change, even if he absolutely wanted it to.
"And that was the secret to my survival, foolish female," he snarled, in a threat that might have been nowhere near as empty as before, "When you stop feeling pain completely, you can use it as much as you want."
Red Alert smiled, her fear slightly gone. "It's okay, Shockwave," she said, quietly, "Despite everything that's happened, I'm actually happy. I'm happy to have known the real you, to have spent time knowing you. I don't regret anything. I don't regret helping you or being there when you couldn't sleep. I don't regret any of it. I'm happy to have helped you. I don't know why, but I feel proud. Proud to have said I could do something to make your life a little better. And that's the truth."
The entire time she was talking, Shockwave's optic was glaring at her and he was silent. Slowly, with each word, his body was relaxing and his furious, near insane stare slowly diminishing, replaced with an empty, yet uncertain one. Eventually, he set her back down onto the floor and released his grip on her.
Red Alert pressed herself into the wall, still visibly shaken, but much calmer now that she had been put down. She watched Shockwave stare down at her silently, emptily before he sighed and relaxed his shoulders.
"What a waste..." he muttered, turning back to his berth.
Red Alert watched him cautiously before she took her spot in the corner again. Shockwave looked at her for a while, watching as she stared straight ahead, deep in thought. He growled quietly before he sat down at the edge of his berth.
"Shockwave?" she said, carefully.
A low, irritated grumble answered her.
"I know you may never believe me, but I was honest and true from the first moment I arrived to you," she said, "I can't convince you that I'm not out to trick you, but I guess that's not really difficult to understand why. I just want you to know that I would never-"
"Why then, Autobot?" Shockwave snapped, glaring at her, "Why are you so willing to put yourself on the slab for the likes of me?"
Red Alert shrugged her shoulders calmly, albeit a little weary. "Maybe I'm just tired. Tired of this war. Tired of the fighting and the loss," she said, softly, "Maybe I just want it all to end. I mean, what are we still fighting for?"
"Then why did you come to Earth?" Shockwave demanded.
She glared at him now. "I came because I was told the war was over and Megatron was dead!" she snapped. She softened then and her optics held a strange reverence to them this time. "And I found friends. While few in number, we've managed to come back together again. And I also found you. A Cybertronian who-despite everything-was still a living being who did not deserve the fate my comrades were putting on you."
"No one told you that you had to feel that way."
"You're right. I told you, I felt that way of my own choice. No one put the idea in my head."
"An idea is put there because of suggestion. Not because of demand."
"Maybe it wasn't this time. Primus, why do you have to be so obtuse when someone's being genuinely honest?"
Shockwave was getting bored with the conversation, so he leaned back in his berth and sighed heavily, exhaustion in his voice as he uttered a Decepticon curse. Red Alert watched him for a moment before she stood up and walked over to him.
"I know you better than you think, Shockwave," she said, quietly, "This war has become stagnated; you need to feel like you have a purpose because it's all you know. All you know is to kill and massacre. It's bred into your processor at a young age. Without a purpose, you feel that your existence is becoming meaningless and that is what frustrates you. I can understand. Sometimes I feel that way too. We all have to feel like we are needed."
Shockwave growled at her and shook his head. "Spare us your professional annotations, Autobot. They are irrelevant."
"Are they?" Red Alert asked, "If that was true, you certainly have a way of ignoring it."
"Contradict me one more time and it'll be the last thing you do," Shockwave threatened.
Red Alert tensed slightly before she frowned. "I think you contradict yourself."
He snarled at her, his optic narrowing and she recoiled slightly, uneasiness in her gaze. Shockwave didn't seem to desire wasting energy on her and decided to simply look away. Red Alert watched him for a moment before she sighed.
"I remember when I was young," she said, leaning against the berth with her back to him, "I was told that I had to hate Decepticons. That they were filthy, despicable beings. But that was the funny thing; I had never met one who did any harm to me at the moment. I remember looking at my father, so confused and I asked him, 'Father, why do we hate them'? He told me it was because they were evil and out to destroy the planet," She chuckled sadly, shaking her head. "The concept seemed ridiculous to me. Why would they destroy their own home? It made no sense. I remember my professor telling us that we had to be ready for war. I stood up before him and told him that the Decepticons were fighting because Autobots gave them nothing. That they took everything from them. The class hated me for that and some even considered me to be a traitor. Though I never understood why. I had merely stated the truth, what my spark felt. Was that so selfish?
All my life, I had wanted to help others, those less fortunate than me. I felt proud when a patient would look to me and thank me for taking care of them. Or when a sparkling would laugh when I made them laugh. Happiness was what I fed on. What I loved. To see someone happy that I had helped them. The best years of my life were spent in Iacon where I took in sick, wounded and tired bots, younglings and newborn sparklings. Each and every one of them received my complete and undivided attention; I could never turn away a soul in need. The war had not yet escalated out of control; it was pressed into Kaon, where I knew it would eventually come to us. But I had hope. I had a glimmer of hope that this would be over. That we could return to the way things were.
That never came. I remember how things became worse as the war raged out of control. I still never understood it, why they hated one another so much. I was forced to leave my job in the infirmary and prepped for war. Taking lives was something I was against. It stood against everything I had ever wanted, ever done. I had no desire for this war. But those who led us did." She laughed sadly. "Isn't that funny? When two leaders despise one another, they drag others into it? Those who have nothing to do with their hatred, their anger? Despite what they say, hate is an infection; it spreads without any of us knowing or realizing before the damage is already done. Doesn't it all seem like a waste to you?"
Shockwave was silent and she looked over her shoulder, noticing that he was staring up at the ceiling, optic unflinching. He seemed to be considering what she had said; taken in every single detail. But he showed no signs of reaction. Red Alert shook her head and stood up, feeling that it was not even worth the effort attempting to sway him under his condition. But another idea came to mind and she carefully straightened so that she looked at him completely.
"If you want, I can try something that may help you sleep," she offered.
Shockwave rumbled deeply, but seemed willing to take the chance. "Very well. What would you suggest then?"
Red Alert smiled. "Do you trust me?"
Shockwave hesitated for a long time. She had never given him a reason not to so far. After a moment, he nodded. "Yes..."
"Good. Now lean your head back." Red Alert said, moving so that she knelt over him from the top of his berth. When he did, he was able to look up at her. "Now, I want you to relax." She rested her fingers against the sides of his face and began a bizarre rubbing motion that made him tense. She looked down at him with a gentle, chastizing look. "Relax," she reminded him, "I know what I'm doing. I've been at this for a long time."
Shockwave reluctantly relaxed into her touch and felt peculiar, vibrating sensations that gradually worked their way through his head. He tensed for a moment before his joints nearly collapsed with exhaustion. Whatever the Autobot was doing, it was making him feel more relaxed than he'd-no, he'd never felt this relaxed before. A low, deep sound emerged from his vocals, a noise of protest against the soothing sensations. He wasn't supposed to be this calm. This relaxed and-
"Shockwave, relax," Red Alert told him, with an amused chuckle, "You're allowed to get a good recharge. Give yourself a chance."
He glared at her, which was somewhat funny given the way he was laying. But his optic fluttered and he shuddered, his angry growls dying down into soft, barely audible hisses. After a moment of fighting recharge, he eventually surrendered under the skills of her touch and slipped into sleep. Red Alert waved a hand in front of his face as she had before, noting no reaction and smiled with pride, moving to her place in the corner to sleep.
She felt happy.
O
Shockwave had overslept.
When he awoke the next morning, he had received a call from Straxus that he was recharging too late and that confused him. He'd never recharged this late before. When he sat up, he looked over at Red Alert's slumbering form and remembered precisely what had caused it. He wanted to confront her about what she had done, but realized that as he was getting out of his berth, he felt strangely refreshed and satisfied.
Shockwave stared down at himself in confusion, stunned that the Autobot's ridiculous tactic had worked. Now that he gave it some thought, no nightmares had plagued him either. He stared down at the sleeping Autobot in disbelief before moving to wake her.
"Autobot, wake up," he ordered, giving her a shake.
Red Alert awoke with a small gasp and met his stare. "Oh, hello. How did you sleep?"
"Fine. Now let's get to work," he told her, "Straxus claims that Autobot drones were seen in the area. They have not pinpointed the ship's location, but we will be moving in a few moments to be absolutely sure of that."
Red Alert looked startled. "What?" she gasped, "Who were they?"
Shockwave scowled at her. "It's no concern of yours," he snapped, "Now go."
Red Alert reluctantly followed Shockwave to the main control center of the ship where Straxus waited with the others while the ship roared to life. The Decepticon self-proclaimed leader looked at them with a long-suffering look. He shook his head.
"Shockwave, Wallow was not seen at the meeting," he said, "Would you know anything about that?"
"Wallow's dead." Shockwave answered flatly.
Straxus looked surprised before he smiled as if he knew what had caused Wallow's death. "Really? And was there a reason for his death?"
"He was a fool. He got was he deserved."
"That's not a reason to kill someone." Straxus remarked, amused and rather surprised all the same, "If I worked that way, everyone in my path would be dead. And then who would I have to run my ship so efficiently as they do?"
"He served his use and fed my creature," Shockwave snapped.
Red Alert felt optics fall onto her from almost every Decepticon in the room as if they suspected that there was more to Shockwave's actions than what he has said. She ignored them and watched as the ship took to the skies, unseen to the world below.
While the ship roared away, Sideswipe and Mirage could make out the sounds of its engines in the distance of its former position. Mirage scowled and rushed toward the direction of the noise before stopping in the location that the ship had once occupied. He bent down onto one knee joint and pressed his hand to the scorched earth. Sideswipe approached cautiously, looking around for signs of Decepticon activity.
"What is it?" he asked.
"They were here," Mirage said, standing, "They must have sensed we were getting close and rushed off."
Sideswipe nodded his head. "Good, then that means we can go after them."
Mirage frowned. "I have never known 'cons to simply run away," he pointed out, "They're hiding something from us. Something they don't want anyone to know about." He paused thoughtfully, tilting his head toward the sky. "What are they trying to hide from us?"
O
Red Alert couldn't believe what she heard.
"Excuse me?" she exclaimed.
Straxus chuckled and wave his hand, gesturing to the open bay doors. "Run. Go back to your Autobot comrades," he purred. He paused for dramatic emphasis and tilted his head with a mocking grin. "If you think you can."
Shockwave watched Red Alert stare at the endless jungle that awaited her. She would only have to get a few hundred miles away and she could contact them for pickup. That was all it would take. But what was Straxus doing? She knew their plan and their location.
"Go, Red Alert," Straxus purred, giving her a push. "Run!"
Red Alert looked helpless, but sprinted into the dense jungle. Shockwave watched her rush away, pushing through endless trees and foliage before he glanced at Straxus. "What are you doing, Straxus?" he snapped.
"Proving a point," the Decepticon replied, with a cold smirk.
"What point?"
"Oh, you'll see."
Red Alert struggled to push her way through the Earth jungle, struggling through dense vines and plants. She felt leaves tangle themselves through her grill before she broke through a clearing and dropped to her knees. Before she could stand, a massive, agonizing jolt surged through her systems and she gave a cry of pain, dropping to her knees again. She clawed at the offending collar around her neck, desperate to get it off, to be free. She cried out again in frustration before sensing a shadow loom over her. It was Straxus, smirking smugly.
"I thought you were stronger than this, Autobot!" he sneered, "I thought you wanted to go back to your Autobot comrades!"
Red Alert glared up at him, struggling against the painful shock. She could barely move any part of her body and it hurt to even try. Straxus shook his head with mock pity and stepped over her, grasping the back of her neck.
"I'm not convinced," he said, "You must not want to go back badly enough."
Red Alert groaned. "I want to go!"
"Hmm...not much conviction that time," Straxus murmured, releasing her roughly in the dirt, "Something's keeping you here. You could have deactivated that collar at any given time."
Red Alert looked stunned. "What?" she exclaimed.
Straxus laughed and shook his head. "Come now, medic," he purred, "It's a simple toy, practically a relic. It merely requires one with clever hands to disable its primary function; anything from a sharp device could malfunction it. Like so."
He proved his point by reaching between two holes in the collar and sliding his talons into it. It sparked before falling off of her neck with a dull clatter at her feet. She looked down at it in shock and picked it up, staring at Straxus with disbelief. He just smiled with contempt, his gaze pitiless and mocking. Something was wrong; this seemed too easy. Was it all a game from the beginning? Simply to toy with her?
"I don't understand," she said.
Straxus chuckled with amusement. "Of course you don't," he sneered, "But there is something that I understand too easily." He bent down in front of her and brought his jagged, cruel face close to hers. "You cannot leave here. Even if I pointed you in the direction; something's holding you to this place. You either enjoy suffering or you have something here that you desire. It doesn't take a smart bot to understand what that is."
Red Alert looked confused, but suddenly felt exposed. "What...?"
Straxus laughed gently, but it was filled with malicious intent. "Make your choice, medic," he purred, "Do you stay or will you leave the one who you have wrapped around your precious little finger?" He made a gesture to prove his point.
Red Alert felt sick. She looked over her shoulder, to freedom just miles away before she doubtfully looked up at Straxus. "What if I say no?"
Straxus stood up and sighed dramatically. "Shockwave's always been a problem as far as loyalty goes. He seems to confuse loyalty to the Decepticon cause and loyalty to authority. He does not recognize who the leader is. If that continues, then we could have ourselves a little problem."
Red Alert stood up and glared at him. "You can't do that!"
"Why? Why should you care what happens to your enemy?"
Red Alert suddenly looked embarrassed and began to fidget a little. "Well, I mean... I just-"
Straxus studied her in silence before he grinned and started laughing; she had just revealed to him everything and not even known it. "Oh, this is precious!" he cackled, "An Autobot has actually developed feelings of affection for a Decepticon!" He started laughing harder and covered his mouth with one hand to muffle it. It wasn't just amusing; it was downright atrocious. "That's priceless! After millions of years, I can still be surprised!"
Red Alert felt embarrassed, confused and angry. She didn't know what to feel right at this second except for humiliation.
"Come then, my dear," Straxus purred, "Let's go back to the ship and forget this ever happened."
Red Alert felt sick as she followed him.
Something told her he wasn't going to forget this happened.
Not at all.
