Here's to another chapter! Thank you for those of you who have continued to review and I'd love to thank those who have favorited this story! Thanks to icyprincess1 and Alice Mori for their reviews since the very beginning! Thanks so much! Special thanks to Pugy the Fluffy who favorited this story; it means a lot and I hope you enjoy this chapter! :) It means a lot to me to see that so many people are interested in my writing and this story.
Well, here's another chapter to I'll Wait For You! Enjoy! And remember to review please!
Chapter 7: Time Will Heal Your Wounds
"Hikari?" the familiar voice asked as I sat frozen on the ground.
I didn't know how to respond and as I remained speechless, I didn't know if this was real or just a figment of my imagination.
My body wouldn't move accordingly to my own thoughts and as I sat there pondering whether this was real, a part of me was afraid that all of this was just a mirage; a mirage that my mind was just conjuring up to keep me calm, so I didn't dare look up. I was afraid that if I even tried to take a look at the person above me, that he'd disappear and then I'd end up alone once more and I couldn't handle that in the state of mind I was currently in.
It felt like I was sitting in the same spot for an eternity and as I saw the person make a move towards me, I didn't know whether to feel glad or upset; maybe my mind was playing games with me and just trying to get my hopes up, but a part of me told me to get up and face the music. If this was actually a mirage, then I'd face it head on.
My gaze was wavering and as I felt my green orbs slowly make their way upwards from the ground, I slowly looked up at the person standing before me and I couldn't help but let tears fall as I saw one familiar face; I was breaking down because of all the stress I've been through and just by seeing this one nice and comforting person was all I needed at the moment.
It was the same face I saw long ago with his concerning blue eyes and dark hair and as my eyes met his, I couldn't help but get up and embrace him.
I ran as fast as I could until I felt my arms connect with his body and I balled right then and there; I was holding onto him for dear life and the fact that he was an actual solid being was what caused me to continue to cry.
A few moments later, I felt his arms circle around me; now I knew he was real and as I felt him rub soothing circles on my back and whisper in my ear that 'everything was going to be all right,' I felt secure, but a small part of me was telling me that nothing could ever be the same again.
At least now I knew I wasn't alone and as I felt Makoto slowly carry me through the rest of the way, I was content with just laying there in his arms as I nestled up in his chest. It was the best feeling in the world at the moment to be protected by someone else and as I let my tears dry up, I took the time to settle my own mind and just take in my own surroundings.
The forest was green in color, just like any normal forest, and as I saw the several trees that now surrounded us, I knew that I was a long way from the Hidden Waterfall Village; back at my old home, we usually didn't have such a dull green color in our plants. Our plants tended to be more lively and full of bright colors, reflecting just how strong water played a part in our town, and as I looked at my own surroundings, I had a feeling that we were near Makoto's own home.
I felt a frigid wind pass through me and as I shivered, trying to warm up my body, I only snuggled closer to his chest; the climate was nothing like my home's naturally warm temperatures, and as we continued our way, it began to get harder to see.
There was a lot of mist covering most of the way and as we traveled deeper into the foreign territory, I could barely make out anything through the thick fog. I saw snippets of greens and blues, but that was all I could see.
I had no idea how Makoto was making his way through and as I gazed up and saw his calm stature, it was as if this blind walk was second nature to him.
Raising my own gaze to look at him again, it looked like he was just a on a mission due to the clothes that now adorned his body and although it was strange to see him in the middle of the forest, I guess maybe my own luck was turning around. Maybe I was finding a silver lining through all of this; but no matter what it was, I was just glad to be in the comfort of someone I knew.
I wasn't going to end up alone like I had thought, and that was the comforting feeling that I felt as I slowly drifted off to sleep in his arms.
A day later:
My green orbs slowly opened and as they met up with the dull blue color of the room's walls, I had almost forgotten that I had arrived in the Hidden Mist Village late last night.
The room was foreign to me and it didn't feel as inviting as I needed it to be; it was organized and well kept and it seemed like the room had no personality along with appearing as though no one had even lived it.
I realized that I woke up pretty early because the sun's rays were just peeking through the horizon, but unlike any other day, I had woken up feeling empty inside; all of yesterday's events were going through my mind and as I sat up in the bed, I hadn't realized how much I had cried until I felt my eyes sting from blinking.
From what happened yesterday, I didn't want to move or get out of bed; all I wanted to do was just think over what I was planning or going to do with my life at the moment and as of right now, I was drawing a blank.
I had told Makoto everything that had happened to me and despite how he tried to comfort me and reassure me that I'd be fine now, I didn't know if I could believe him.
It's funny how one moment in your life could change your whole outlook in just one cruel swoop of fate and as I continued sitting there, I just reveled in the moment of how carefree and happy I was a few days before and now, look at where I was. Fate has a cruel way of hurting people and it doesn't discriminate because it doesn't care who it hurts in the process.
And maybe it wasn't unfair to me; someone else out there could be having a much worse time out there than me, and who was I to just sit here and complain about my situation? It was true, I couldn't be as happy as I would like, but I guess that shouldn't stop me from trying, and I think that small glimmer of hope was just what I needed to slowly lift myself out of bed.
My feet touched the cold, wooden floor and as I forced myself to hold my head high and head towards the bathroom to get ready for the new day, I guess I was ready to face my new surroundings.
I quickly entered the bathroom and as I took some time to observe the bland white walls and lack of decorations, I made my way over to the sink and washed my face.
I felt all the dirt and grime come off my ivory skin and as I finished, I was sure to take a look at the mirror.
I could see my disheveled appearance, at how messy and unkempt my white hair was and how I could clearly see little bits and pieces of dirt stuck in my hair. I could tell that I really needed a shower by my own appearance and my stench; no offense to myself, but I even had to admit that I could barely stand my own smell, let alone I began to even ponder how Makoto managed to carry me through the whole way as I smelled like some skunk.
As I took another look around the bathroom, my eyes quickly caught onto the sight of some clothes, a towel, and a note lying on the counter.
Stepping closer to the items, I saw that the note had my name on it and as I scanned over its contents, I found it endearing that Makoto was kind enough to do small gestures like this for me.
Hikari,
I'd imagine you'd want a bath after what you've been through, so here are some clothes and be free to use the bath to clean yourself up.
Sincerely,
Makoto
I smiled at that; it was nice to know that someone was so willing to care for you and as I turned on the water to the shower, I felt myself slowly form an actual smile on my face.
I hadn't actually smiled for awhile and the fact that something this small could make me happy, maybe I had a chance I finding a new life here.
As I tested the water's temperature, I noticed that it was warm enough to get in, so as I quickly got out of my clothes and tossed them to the side, I embraced the warm water as it touched my skin.
The water felt nice against my touch and as I grabbed a soap bar and began to wash away all the dirt from my body, I began to feel more clean and refreshed.
Last but not least, I quickly put enough shampoo in my palm to lather in my hair and as I felt all the dirt disappear from it as well, I quickly rinsed out the soap and took in the scent of cherry blossoms as I finished up.
Once all the soap was rinsed out of my hair, I rapidly got out from the shower, turned off the water, and wrapped the towel around my body.
I shivered as my cool air hit my skin and as I felt several goose bumps form on the surface of my skin, I was quick to dry myself off and get dressed.
The outfit that was laid out before me was pretty simple; it was a regular spring dress colored in a deep blue and as I put it on and quickly dried my wet head of hair, I exited from the bathroom feeling better about myself.
A nice shower could always do wonders for me, and as I returned back to my seat on the bed, I took in the nice, calm serenity of the silence and closed my eyes as I inhaled and exhaled; it was peaceful to say the least and it was just nice to feel like I was away from everything because that's all I wanted; I just wanted to feel free from all the bad and all the suffering I had to overcome.
It was nice to be in a meditated state and as I sat there, just trying to have nice thoughts pass through my mind, for once, I could find myself feel relaxed and carefree.
As I remained where I was and reveled in the silence, my own world was interrupted as I heard a knock at my door.
My orbs swiftly opened and as I felt my mind return back to reality, there wasn't much peace to revel in as I watched the silver doorknob turn.
As I sat, waiting for the person to enter, I heard the soft sound of the door opening and revealing my dark-haired savior, Makoto.
It seemed like he was up all night as I observed his slightly baggy eyes, but as he entered into the room, his footsteps were different; stronger and seemingly more serious in nature, and that caught me off guard because I had a feeling that something was wrong.
He hadn't said a word to me since he entered nor did he attempt to look me in the eyes and as I watched him carefully, I saw him cause a dip in the bed as he slowly sat down on the edge.
Makoto was keeping his distance from me for some reason and as I made my move to get closer to him, he only inconspicuously tried to move a bit further away, but I didn't let him because I quickly grabbed his hand in mine.
He seemed to be hard at thought about something and as he continued to peer off into the distance, I was anxious to know what had happened. If it was something good, then that would bring my whole world around, but if he was acting this way, it was probably something bad, but the question was, did I want to know about it?
I froze right then and there because I couldn't answer the question myself; I felt my body shaking as I thought about what it could be and as it felt like an eternity before I made up my mind, I decided that knowing was better than not knowing.
At that moment, I decided to take action and as I grabbed his chin and turned his face towards mine, I looked into his deep, blue eyes with my determined green orbs and waited for him to say something.
For awhile, I didn't know how long we stood like that and as an awkward silence passed through the room, I felt him slowly reach out towards me and hold my hand in his.
It was a strange action and I didn't know what to make out of it as I sat there; it was as though he was trying to comfort me, not from what I had told him the previous day, but from something new.
He was still avoiding eye contact with me and as he waited a few more seconds to get whatever he needed off of his chest, his eyes finally met mine.
"Hikari…there's something you should know about your situation…" Makoto started out as he held my attention.
I slowly nodded in response and listened as he continued.
"After you told me what happened, I decided to go investigate for myself to look for any clues as to why a massacre like that would happen…but, what I found was something else."
He stopped right there and as I saw him turn to the side and grab something from his pocket, my green orbs widened in shock as I took notice of the shiny metal of the Hidden Waterfall Village's symbol as it reflected back at me. The most obvious characteristic to me was that there were several scratches on the fine metal and as I hesitantly took the headband in my shaking hands, I knew that it was my brother's.
The headband was still in my hands and as I let my fingertips skim the mere smooth surface, I knew when I saw the headband that it was my brother's; I didn't know how to feel and as I turned my attention back to Makoto, I could see the evident look of despair in his orbs.
"Hikari…my men and I found that the whole town burned down. It was the only thing left; there was no body found and we didn't find any other clues. Everything's been erased."
I let his words sink in and I thought all my tears had already dried up, but at that moment, my emotions hit me as I let several tears fall from my eyes onto the metal plate. I clutched the headband so tightly in my hands and as I let my tears freely fall from my face, I didn't realize that Makoto had embraced me and allowed me to cry into his chest.
I felt him rub soothing circles on my back and as I continued to let my tears fall, I looked back at the headband in my hands and it only proved as a reminder of my brother and the type of person he was.
I had hope that Akio would make it through, that he'd come here to this village to make sure I was safe and that we'd be able to make it through this together, but I guess I was wrong.
He wasn't going to come get me and I'd never get the chance to see him again because he was gone and the only thing I had to remember him by was his headband.
Akio was supposed to become the best shinobi there ever was, and now, he wouldn't get that chance because of me. He risked everything for me and I had nothing in return to give to him.
I was a burden; just some obstacle that got in his way and caused his own downfall. And it was unfair that I was living right now. Life can be cruel, but I didn't think it could be that cruel to the point where it leaves you without anyone to turn to or fully trust.
In the end, you'll find that your life is unfair, and there's nothing you can do about it no matter how hard you try because it's inevitable; fate's already decided for you what will happen, and you just have follow it whether you want to or not.
We all want to find acceptance in our lives; that's what we all strive for and whether we all try to show our true selves to others, we all find that we try to hide behind masks. It's the façade we put up that tries to stop the hurt from showing, to fix that broken dam before the water causes it to break and shatter, but truthfully, all we want is someone to accept us for ourselves. Taking away everything that defines us, you realize that when you lose everything, you've only got yourself to fend for and maybe just separating yourself from all those things that make you, you, you'll come to accept yourself.
I couldn't say that I was completely accustomed to my new life; actually that would be a lie because I was still lost and my mindset just wasn't the same anymore. I couldn't really smile or laugh without making it sound fake and despite how hard I tried to fool myself to make it seem like this was my home, it just didn't work out.
But that didn't stop Makoto from trying; everyday he'd make it is mission to try to make me smile or laugh, and I appreciated that; I didn't want to lose the person that I was before all of this happened, and despite how much free time he'd put aside just for me, I could never truly show him how much I appreciated it.
Each time I tried, I'd become silent and still, as if I was frozen to my spot, and all there was left to do was just hug him until I got my point across. It was as though my voice wouldn't utter my own thoughts and despite how I knew that Makoto was just some sort of safety blanket for me, I clung to him for dear life because he was all I had.
I didn't know what came over me but he was the closest person left for me; everyone else was gone and I had to face that horrible truth. Even though his arms felt foreign around me, I couldn't help but be delighted to be touched by someone and feel some sort of love or affection.
Maybe it's the fact that you know this person will be there for you, and that's all it takes to make you show some sort of appreciation towards that person. Because no matter what, you never want to end up alone and if there's that slight chance that there's someone who will be waiting for you at the end of the dark abyss, you're willing to take that chance once the opportunity is given to you.
A few weeks later:
I woke up the next day, just like any other day and despite how I continued to wake up in the same exact room, it still felt foreign to me.
After a few days of locking myself in my room, I felt like I was now stable and able to interact with other people. I had just recovered from the mere shock of what could've become of my brother and as I turned towards the bedside table that held his headband, I couldn't cry anymore; all the previous tears that I had shed probably took out all the water in my system and as I stood there, just trying to deny that he was now gone, I didn't know how to feel anymore.
I looked around the room and as I caught sight of the pale blue walls and the simple décor, they didn't help me feel comforting at all and despite how this had become routine to me, I just couldn't shake off the feeling that I was just some stranger that was trying to fit in.
And the scariest thing about that is that there would be nothing that could change that, but all I could hope for is to be accepted by them. But I couldn't get rid of the fact that my brother was now gone, and I knew it; he wasn't coming back, and he never would, and that was something I needed to accept, even though I didn't want to.
Sighing in defeat, I decided to get out of my bed and try to start my day out on a positive note, because after spending a several days in doors, in bed, I needed to get some fresh air.
Once my feet hit the floor, I quickly headed off to the bathroom and I began my normal morning routine as I washed my face and brushed my teeth; quickly putting my long, white hair into a messy bun, I changed out of my pajamas and took the time to dress myself in some pants and a dark forest green, long-sleeved shirt.
Despite how I was now going to live in the Hidden Mist Village now, I wasn't sure if my own body would be capable of adapting to this cold atmosphere, but I guess in time, I'd be able to adjust.
Once I was dressed, I felt ready to face the outside world, although, I wasn't sure how I would react to a new place that was foreign to me, but I guess a small part of me was willing to give it a shot.
A knock was heard, and as I turned around, I saw that Makoto was patiently standing in the doorway, waiting for me.
As I nodded to him to signal that I was ready, I exited my room and as I felt him walking beside me, he was quick to take my hand in his as he lead me outside to his home.
We had just taken a few steps outside and as I saw that the mist was completely gone, I was amazed at how different the village was compared to mine, but I didn't want to spoil Makoto's own excitement because he seemed happy. As I turned to him, I saw a small glint in his blue eyes and he seemed to have planned this whole trip of showing me the whole village for awhile, and despite everything that had happened, I didn't want to ruin his own happiness because of my own misfortune, so I was willing to give it a shot. I mean there could always be the chance that I could learn to love the village and everyone inside it.
It was nearing the late afternoon and Makoto managed to show me nearly every spot that was precious to him in this village from the large, towering buildings to the calm setting of the village market.
This place was different from my village; it was much larger and not as bright, but the people seemed nice enough through my own perspective. I just didn't know what to make of the whole scene yet, but I did know one thing, it was surely cold here. I didn't know how Makoto could handle the cold temperature; he was dressed in fairly a thin navy shirt and a pair of pants while I was fully covered and still shivering from the climate.
It was beyond different and it felt like I was on another planet, but I knew I had to try to give this place a chance before I could actually judge it for myself.
We both had just finished lunch and as I felt him grab my hand in his, he was quick to lead me to one more stop. I felt a blindfold cover my orbs again and as I felt myself being carried off in his strong arms, I felt the cold breeze pass through my white hair and as I tried to become more accustomed to the cold atmosphere, I snuggled closer into his chest in order to warm my body up.
We were going somewhere, and as I felt ourselves only go higher and higher, I was slightly frightened that we would go too high for my liking; I was never a fan of heights and as I held onto him as tightly as possible, I was relieved once we stopped.
Makoto carefully set me down onto my feet, and as I felt him turn me towards the horizon, he swiftly removed the blindfold from my sight.
My green orbs were closed and as I blinked a couple of times and opened my eyes, I saw the bright sun shine down onto the town.
Saying the sight was beautiful was an understatement; I could understand why Makoto loved coming up here and as I looked at the horizon, I momentarily forgot my slight fear of heights.
We were pretty high up and as I turned towards Makoto, I saw him smile and as the light from the sun only made him look more handsome as it allowed his dark-raven hair to glow in the light, I turned my attention back to the village and waited to see if he would say anything.
A couple moments later as we both stood there in silence, enjoying the feeling of the sun on our skin, I turned towards him as I heard him say something as he stood beside me.
"Welcome home, Hikari." He said as he looked beyond the horizon towards the Hidden Mist Village. I saw the look of calm in his orbs as he looked down upon the very village he grew up in, and I remembered when I had that look whenever I looked at my own village.
As I looked at all the massive buildings and the huge population of people working and tending to their daily actions, I felt like a stranger. I was someone stepping into a new world; I came from a small place and as I looked down below, I knew that this wasn't my home. My home was Kuroshio, the place where I was born and raised, and this new place, would never be my home.
I always thought I'd always stay in my home; that maybe when I had a family, we'd live there in peace and then many generations after us, they'd live there too, but sometimes those dreams, will never come true. Who was I kidding? I knew that my home was destroyed and despite how I tried to tell myself it wasn't, I was only in denial; a denial that was slowly causing me to question my sanity and wonder why I was still here. Maybe fate was just being cruel to me or maybe in my past life I was a horrible person and messed with the spirits of our world. Whatever I did or had done, I only wish I could've taken it back.
In situations like these, we all wish we could take back what we did or said; living with those regrets are what eat us inside and as that guilt continues to build up, it eventually all accumulates and blows over, and that's when we truly wish we could take back what we've done because the pain becomes unbearable.
How could anyone handle a situation like this? I don't think even the strongest of people could try to get rid of their pain, and despite how hard they may try to do so, it stays with them forever.
We all try to live behind a disguise; we all try to hide our own hurt and vulnerability because that's a weakness in other people's eyes; and maybe hiding our own pain is what's hurting us in the end. But that pain never goes away; it's like a stain that stays with you forever and no matter how hard you try to wash it out, it becomes resilient. It's there to remind you of your suffering and although I've heard that time always heals the pain, it only for longs it. It hurts to no end and even though you try to find ways to cope, you just start feeling numb until you pretend that that suffering never existed.
"I-it's good to be home, Makoto." I replied a few moments later, despite how I knew that I was sure I would never find another home, especially in a place like this.
Sorry for such a short chapter! But this is more of a filler chapter (I guess you could cal it that), although it's supposed to show the aftermath of how she feels about everything.
Because of school, I'm just going to say that updates aren't going to be that fast, but please stay with me and bear it out.
Remember to review! I love hearing your thoughts!
-Sincerely,
Katara :)
