Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned

Find me guilty of the life I feel within

When I'm branded, this mark of shame

Should I look down, disgraced, or straight ahead and know that you must blame?

I am the secret

I am the sin

I am the guilty

And I am, I am the thorn within

- Thorn Within, Metallica


Sam sat in the bunker whilst Lily read. She was reading a book from the Men of Letter's bunker which weren't exactly written in mind of children. It dawned on Sam, that in the short time Lily had been alive, she hadn't been able to be a kid. She'd been stuck in the bunker, having angel lessons from Gabriel, sleeping, reading lore books and hanging onto every word that any of them said. It wasn't fair. Sam knew it was too risky to take her out of the bunker so he settled on raiding the bunker for anything that might make Lily's stay a little less boring.

Leaving Lily to read, Sam managed to muster up some paper and pens, board games that looked ancient but would do the trick, a tennis ball and a deck of cards. Sam also noted that there'd be a ton of stuff on Netflix that a kid would probably enjoy.

Sam made a mental note to pick up some kid stuff on the next run. Toys or whatever it was that kids like these day's. Sam didn't have much experience when it came to that stuff. Sam and Dean had never been normal kids. They didn't get toys, or day outs or trips to the arcade but he'd figure it out. It wasn't Lily's fault that she was Lucifer's daughter. She deserved to have a childhood.

For now though, it would have to do. Sam realized that Lily seemed to enjoy reading but only had lore books to get stuck in. Sam's went to his room and took a look at his own collection, the one's that weren't hunting related. Sam wasn't sure how to decide what was age appropriate. She looked about 12 but technically, she wasn't even 1, so Sam tried to look for a book that wouldn't traumatize her too much but wouldn't patronize her either. She was a smart kid after all. In the end, Sam picked up Moby Dick, Lord Of The Flies, The Wizard of Oz and his secret collection of Harry Potter books he hid from Dean.

He took the things into the room Lily was using and then set up netflix on her TV. He then made his way back to Lily who still had her head stuck in a book.

"Hey, I've left some stuff in your room. It's just some books that I thought you'd might like better than the one's here and some stuff in case your bored. There's stuff you can watch on TV too, something different than the boring satellite channels", Sam offered.

Lily looked up at Sam, eye's wide with happiness, "Books? What books?".

"You like reading, huh? Well I left them in your room", smiled Sam.

Lily skipped to her room, passing by the other stuff and looking straight to the books.

"Harry Potter?", asked Lily.

"Yeah, it's about a kid...he can do magic too", told Sam.

"I wanna read this!", smiled Lily.

"Go ahead", grinned Sam.

"Could you...could I read it to you? I like reading out loud and I...I kind of don't wanna be alone. The man...Lucifer, he scare's me. I'm scared" admitted Lily shyly.

"Yeah, course. It's okay to be scared. I'll just sit here while you read the book, I love that story anyways", smiled Sam as he sat on the chair by the desk in the room.

Lily jumped on he bed and began reading the book and it was nice to see her excitement at the book. A moment where she seemed like a regular kid. He was glad she could get even a little bit of that even if it was just reading the philosopher's stone.


Dean once again found himself in the warehouse where Lucifer had killed his brother and possessed his mom. Crowley and Rowena were preparing the spell which left Dean to stand around with Cas and Gabriel. He was getting antsy. He wanted to get this over with. Wanted get his mom back and then head back to the bunker to check on Sam and Lily.

"Okay, we're all set up. Both the spell to summon Lucifer and to expel him for your mother's body. I know, I'm magnificent", stated Rowena arrogantly.

"Okay, let's get on with it then" ordered Dean, repressing the urge to roll his eye's. They made sure the ring of holy oil was good so they could trap Lucifer longer enough to get him out of Mary. Then Rowena did her stuff, spoke some incomprehensible words, dropped some ingredients into a bowl and small explosion erupted from the bowl.

Rowena had a smug grin on her face that faded as they stood waiting for Lucifer to appear. He didn't though.

"What the hell?", questioned Dean.

"It should of worked", frowned Rowena.

"In case any of you are forgetting, this is Lucifer we're dealing with. There was never a guarantee this would work", reminded Crowley.

"Isn't there some angel line you could use to get him here? Angel radio or something?", asked Dean to the angel's.

"Dean, I don't think Luci is going to show up just because I asked nicely", jibed Gabriel.

"Just try", ordered Dean.

Gabriel looked pissed at Dean for his tone and like he was ready to rip Dean a new one but his face became distracted and his brow furrowed in concentration. A look of dread passed over his face.

"What is it?", questioned Dean.

"Lucifer. He's at the bunker".


Lily had dozed off whilst reading so Sam took the opportunity to go to kitchen and get something to eat. He was hungry which he guessed was a good sign. It might have been several weeks since they'd left the prison but Sam still continued to avoid food, only eating through necessity. He just never felt hungry but in the past week or so, his appetite had returned.

Grabbing a plate from the cupboard, Sam felt a presence in the room. That was never a good sign. Sam placed the hand that wasn't holding the plate on his gun as he turned to inspect the room.

When he saw who was there, the plate he was clutching crashed to the ground and shattered into jagged pieces.

He'd turned to see his mom staring back at him. Well not really his mom but her body at least. Everything else was definitely not Mary. The sinister grin. The body language. The facial expressions. No, they were all distinctively Lucifer.

"Hey Sam, miss me?"

"What...how?" Stuttered Sam, thrown back by seeing Lucifer wearing Mary as a vessel.

"Cat got ya tongue?"

"You're not taking her", stated Sam. He would do whatever it took to stop Lucifer taking Lily.

"C'mon now Sam, it doesn't have to be like this", cried Lucifer.

"Last time I saw you, you killed me and possessed my Mom", Sam deadpanned.

"Okay, I admit that I might have been a little hasty but you hurt my feelings Sam. I mean, I would have given you everything. All those years ago, in that cemetery, you dragged me back to hell", pointed Lucifer.

"So, what? You spend hundreds of years torturing me?" Sam had no idea where his snark was coming from. He was terrified of Lucifer but yet he was goading him. Sam wondered if Dean had rubbed of on him a little.

"Exactly, so I think we're just about even. And killing you recently, I just went a little too far but all that's in the past now Sam. I know every instinct you have tells you to resist me but what are you really resisting? Say 'yes' and all of the pain, all of the crap you go through day in and day out will be over. We belong as one, Sam. MFEO, remember? Why do you think you and my daughter bonded so easily? It wasn't because you have outstanding babysitting skills, Sam. It's because she's part of me. You're part of me too. If you let me in, I can take Lily and the three of us can be a family. One that understands you better than your own family ever has. Don't you want that, Sam? You know how much of a strain you are on Dean, don't you? All that he does is worry about you and I know in the past he hasn't done so well when you've died but things are different now. He has Mary, at least he would have if you weren't so stubborn. If you let me in, Mary would be free and she and Dean could be happy. I'm in her body Sam, I see what she thinks and feels and she doesn't even know who you are Sam. Dean, that's hard enough for her but at least he was four when she died. She at least got to know him a little but you were just a baby. She doesn't even recognize you Sam. The reason why she's having such a hard time is because she doesn't love you and she feels guilty about it. But I do know you Sam. You know I'm right" stated Lucifer.

"No", muttered Sam with all the strength he could muster. Truthfully though, Lucifer was getting in Sam's head. Not about giving into him, he'd never willingly join Lucifer, never help him with his plans unless the world or Dean depended on it. He was getting into his head about his family though. About the way his mom felt and Dean. The one thing Lucifer was right about was that he did know Sam. He knew his insecurities and the right buttons to press but he wasn't about to let Lucifer know that.

"I'm not giving into you", stated Sam.

"Are you really that selfish Sam? What about your mommy over here? She hates it, fighting it every second but she's too weak. You could get her out of this but you too much of a coward", spat Lucifer.

"No. I'd do it if I had too. You see, my mom may not know me but I think I know her enough to know she wouldn't want me to say 'yes'. You'd just use me to hurt a lot of people and she wouldn't want that. But I am going to get our mom back and after we do, we're going to kill you", told Sam.

"Oh really, do you really believe that Sam? You're not the same person you were 7 years ago, we've already had that conversation. You can't beat me again. Deep down, you don't believe in yourself to do it either", smirked Lucifer.

"You're right, I don't think I can do it again", admitted Sam, "I don't believe in myself but I do believe in Dean. And I believe in Cas and my mom. I have faith in my family so I know that we're going to beat you. It might not be today or tomorrow or the next day but we are going to put you back where you belong", said Sam confidently.

"That's cute", stated Lucifer with an annoyed smirk on his face. Without a moments notice, Lucifer swiped a hand and sent Sam flying over the kitchen work top. Sam fought to get up as another surge of power sent him crashing into a wall, knocking the wind out of him. Sam was pinned to the wall when Lucifer wandered up and stood face to face with him.

"You know, Sam? I thought you might see sense but I can tell that's not going to happen. You're no use to me now. Maybe I should just kill you. Permanently this time. Snap my fingers and disintegrate you into a million tiny little pieces. There wouldn't be enough left of you for my baby brother to fix. Or, now this is good idea, I could crush your soul into oblivion. Extremely painful and there'd be no way that annoying big brother of yours could deal you out of it", sneered Lucifer.

"Screw you", snarled Sam. If he was going down, he'd go down resisting the archangel till his very last breath. And right on cue, Lucifer plungd a hand through Sam's abdomen and grasped his soul. Lucifer was getting a little predictable and Sam would have told him that if Lucifer 's hand hadn't been twisting his soul. His damaged, broken but ever shining soul. It was a pain like no other. Indescribable and unmatchable. He was going to die this way, in such agony. He looked at the face that was killing him. His mother's face. Sam would have thought that watching his mother's body destroy his soul would have been painful but if he could see him mom in his last moments, well he could live with that. Ha. Except he wouldn't live that because he was about to die, for real this time. But at least he wasn't alone. Mary was with him, at least physically. He wished he could see his brother but he was thankful for what he had. He felt something happening within. Almost like his soul's last fight for survival. But it was fading. He was fading.

He wasn't scared. Sam smiled at his mom's face, ignoring the Lucifer's hateful expression that was on it.

"I love you mom", whimpered Sam. His eye's began to involuntarily close. The pain in his body spread throughout him and he felt like he was being ripped apart. His consciousness leaving him rapidly but just as the lights were about to go out, Lucifer let out a gasp. His facial expression changed and the hand in Sam's abdomen retracted. Sam slumped to the floor, no energy left to keep himself upright. Lucifer's expression was different. Almost like, Mary.

"Mom?", whispered Sam.

"Sammy, I'm so sorry. I can't hold him much longer", rushed Mary desperately. Mary's posture shifted once again, a sly smirk spreading over his face.

"Well, I'll give her credit, she managed to take back control for all of a 30 seconds. Not long enough though, I'm still going to kill you", smiled Lucifer as he took a step towards Sam.

"Get away from him", ordered a small voice from behind Lucifer. Sam couldn't see her but he knew it was Lily and Sam wanted her to run away and get away from her father but he was barely able to talk, body still overcome with fatigue and pain.

"Lily? Hi sweetheart. I don't know what they've been telling you about me but I'm not a bad guy. I just want to know my daughter. I'm your dad and I want you to be happy but they're keeping you from me", told Lucifer. The soft voice and gesture's were so unfamiliar coming from Lucifer that Sam thought maybe Mary was back for a moment.

"They're not keeping me from you. I don't want to come with you. I know...I know you killed my mom", whispered Lily sadly.

"I didn't want to do that but she was stopping me from seeing you and lying to you".

Lily eye'd Lucifer warily and than glanced at Sam who was hunched on the floor.

"I said get away from him!" ordered Lily with a flash of anger that Sam had never seen before. Her eye's glowed and Lucifer quickly shot to the other side of the room. Sam could tell that Lucifer was as shocked as him but his shock soon turned to glee.

"Yes, that's it sweetheart. Good girl, you're strong but I could learn you to be so much stronger" smiled Lucifer. The anger in Lily seemed to grow as she slowly walked towards Lucifer. Her fists clenched and Lucifer began to writhe in what appeared to be pain. Patches of light began to glow from his body but rashes began to slowly erupt on Mary's skin too. Like the patches on Nick's skin when he couldn't hold Lucifer properly. It looked like Lily was trying, at least subconsciously, to kill Lucifer but she was killing Mary in the process.

"Lily? Lily! Lily, stop!", cried Sam. If Lily heard, she didn't show any signs of it. Her eye's continued to glow and Lucifer and Mary deteriorated further.

"Lily, stop! It's killing her", shouted Sam.

Lily's hands un-clenched and her eye's returned to her green color. Mary/Lucifer slumped to the ground and Lucifer let out deep gasp's. Lily store at her hands in bewilderment. As though she wasn't quite she what she'd done. She turned to Sam. She looked afraid, like she didn't know if Sam would be angry with her.

"I..was just trying...to help", stated Lily quietly.

"I know, it's okay. I just...killing him would have hurt my mom too", explained Sam as he started to lift himself of the floor.

A random thought came to Sam. He thought about the first time they'd faced Lucifer and they'd met the boy who was a Cambion. He was the antichrist and very powerful. He'd ordered the demon to leave his mother's body and it had done just on his word. Lily wasn't born of a human and demon but Sam thought that being the daughter of Lucifer himself, had to make Lily stronger. It was worth a try.

Sam heaved himself up of the floor, an arm wrapped protectively around his abdomen. There was no physical mark from his soul being tortured, again, but Sam could feel it. The pain wasn't an eruption of fire in his veins anymore. It was more like an aftershock that followed an earthquake. It left him shaky and tired but he pushed through. He walked to Lily, albeit slowly.

Lucifer/Mary were hunched on the floor. Still recovering from whatever Lily had done.

"Hey Lily, do you mind trying something for me?", asked Sam.

"Sure", smiled Lily.

"Could you try drawing Lucifer out of Mary? I know it's a lot to ask and it might not work", asked Sam.

"I would but I don't know how", said Lily.

"I think maybe it's more instinct...like what you did just. I met someone once who had powers like you and they ordered a demon to leave the human it was possessing and they did. He didn't know how, he just did it...maybe you could too. No pressure but it's worth a try", Sam explained softly. Sam didn't want to bring Lily into this but she had been the minute she walked into the kitchen. He was going to keep her out it in the future but for now, she was already here.

"Okay, I can try?" Offered Lily. Sam smiled and she turned to Lucifer. She clenched her fist once again and her face pinched in concentration. Nothing happened and she let out a frustrated sigh.

"It's okay, we'll find another way", said Sam as he painted on his best reassuring smile.

"No. He killed my mommy. I'm not going to let him take anyone else's", stated Lily.

That look of anger flashed across her young face once again. Her bright eye's looked colder than they ever had as they began to glow red. She clenched her fist and Lucifer's grace began to quiver in Mary but he was fighting it. It just seemed to make Lily angrier and the contents of the kitchen began to tremble like an actual earthquake. Sam briefly acknowledged that Lily's powers, or at least her hold on them, seemed to be stronger and fueled by anger. Sam didn't have time to worry about that before he noticed the light of Lucifer's grace grew brighter. There was a sudden flash when Lucifer's grace could visibly be seen leaving Mary's vessel. The flash took Sam's feet from under him but he glanced at Lily who stood on the spot, back to her usual self. The shaking had subsided too.

Sam looked at Mary from his position on the floor. She was also slumped to ground but she looked like she was coming round. He eye's opened, darting around the mess of the kitchen. Her eye's met Sam. They filled with something close to sadness and relief.

"Sam", she smiled Sadly.

"Mom?".