A/N: Ok. This chapter is another long one. And it would be much longer, except that the second half is giving me trouble (mostly because I know exactly what I want in it and it's kind of daunting to think about writing for that long). So, I'm splitting it into two chapters so that I can post sooner, and hopefully rely on reviews to push me to write the next part ;) THAT WAS DIRECTED AT YOU! Speaking of which, a Big THANK YOU to everyone who has been reviewing/following/favouriting (and hopefully those last two were intentional for you, and not just because it automatically selects those boxes when you review). Alright. Shutting up now.


Flying on Christmas day proves to be similar to flying just before Christmas, only the cheery, excited travellers are replaced by the bitter, the working, the anxious to get home to their family crowd. Once again, Sam and Jules expertly navigate their way through baggage claim and over to where Spike, Natalie, and Mrs. Braddock stand waiting. Sam's first reaction is a snort - for which Jules elbows him - at the sight of the cheesy sweater on Spike. The common theory is that Natalie pulled some kind of fiancé privileges to get him into that one. They're greeted, hugged, and bombarded with questions about their flight - turbulence, in flight movie, take off, landing - before the discussion launches into dinner. The turkey sits in the oven at the Braddock home, only a few minutes drive from the airport, prepared to be eaten within approximately one half hour of their arrival.

Having travelled extensively in her time as the General's wife, Sam's mother is beyond efficient when it comes to loading and unloading vehicles. Arriving at the Braddock family home, Sam and Jules are encouraged to get changed into something dinner appropriate. When they, along with a Santa suit dressed Noah, return to the living room, they're informed that dinner is nearly ready. Still, first thing's first. Unlike the Callaghans, who insist everyone cram around the Christmas tree for one big family picture, Mrs. Braddock is a little more thorough. She insists on getting a group picture, then one for each possible combination of people. Sam gives a small smile as he notes the changes in the Braddock living room, specifically the Christmas tree. As he could have expected, his mother has embraced the opportunity to take control of the decorations. What he never would have expected is the parts that remain the same. While it does appear she found her way to the seasonal decorations department to collect a matching set of sparkling blue and silver ornaments, his mother seems to have felt the need to keep some things consistent with years passed. As a result, a store window quality, high fashion Christmas tree stands strung with surprisingly controlled bursts of tinsel, along with every decoration a Braddock child ever brought home from school.

He shakes his head. "Tinsel? Really, Mom?"

She sighs, takes a break from fussing over the pictures on her camera to stand next to him for a view of the tree. "There wasn't any to begin with, but then your sister got here and she simply wouldn't have a tinsel-less tree. I keep telling myself it's not that bad but… Tell me it's not horrible."

Sam smirks, chews his lip as he tries to sort out the best thing to say. "Well, at least it goes with your colour scheme?"

His mother smiles, rubs his head as she tugs him to her side for a quick hug. "That's my boy. Now, lets get to that dinner."

The group ignores the empty chair at the end of the table, instead focusing their attention on each other. There's a quick discussion of their plans for the week - a trip to an outdoor rink for some skating, boxing day shopping - before the conversation turns more long term. Jules is asked when she plans to return to work, have they found a daycare yet, and how do they plan to balance work and Noah. The answers seem beyond obvious, though Jules tries her best to keep it out of her tone as she replies - at the end of her year off, haven't started looking yet, and very carefully. Her point is made clear and Sam takes the hidden cue to move the conversation along. As any brother would, he shifts focus onto his sister.

"You guys set a date yet?"

Spike gives a small smile, while Natalie frowns and shakes her head 'no'. "We've been looking, but I'm not ready to set a date yet."

Jules, who had no trouble choosing a date and planning her entire wedding over the course of 4 months, shakes her head at the idea. "Hasn't it been like a year since you two got engaged? That's 365 dates gone by, what are you waiting for? A leap year?"

Natalie shrugs, helps herself to a second glass of wine, offering some to the rest of the table as she does so. "I just haven't found the right fit yet, I guess."

Never having understood his sister's line of thinking Sam snorts, chuckling at his own comment as he makes it. "Well, just make sure you invite Noah's plus one. He'll definitely be dating by the time you finally decide on a date."

"Sam," his mother warns, turning her gaze to Spike and Natalie. "Don't you listen to him. You take your time and find a date that makes you happy."

The rest of the meal passes without incident, and soon it's time to move on to gifts. Not surprisingly, Noah claims most of the gifts littering the space beneath the tree. From his grandmother and aunt comes a closet's worth of clothes, from practical pyjamas and slippers to a baby police uniform Sam and Jules will refuse to dress him in. Spike, painfully aware of his losing battle against Greg for the title of favourite uncle, presents his nephew with toys upon toys - stuffed animals, toy cars, colourful blocks - and documents his success with several bright flashes of his camera.

By the time he's done, Noah is the wealthiest baby on the block, and the crankiest. Jules sighs, excuses herself so she can put him to bed. Sam takes the opportunity to help his mother with the dishes, while Spike and Natalie sort the remaining gifts into piles by recipient.

As it turns out, Noah is so tired it takes little more than a change of clothes and a quick rocking to get him to bed. Jules is near gleeful as she descends the stairs, but her smile fades as she nears the entrance to the living room.

"Mike, I told you I just haven't decided yet."

"Nat, two weeks ago you told me you wanted a summer wedding and that you were going to officially start planning first thing in the new year."

"Well I never said I wasn't going to-"

"No, you just told your mom you had no idea when you wanted to get married. Do you even want to get married?"

"Of course I do, it's just…"

"Just what?"

"I'm not having this conversation at my mother's, on Christmas."

From the hallway Jules sighs, listens as the two huff at each other before deciding to interrupt them. "A baby to bed in less than 10 minutes, that's got to be some kind of record."

"A Christmas miracle, you might say," Spike smirks, passing Jules a neatly wrapped gift as she sits down.

"Or maybe Jules is just that awesome," Sam grins, returning from the kitchen.

Spike rolls his eyes. "Or maybe you're just-"

"Who's having tea?"

The group smiles, turns to face Mrs. Braddock as she peers into the room.

"Nice segue Mom," Natalie smirks.

"I certainly thought so."

The overheard conversation replays in Jules' head all night. As much as she tries to keep her distance and maintain a drama free life, her inner profiler is sent into overdrive. She can't help but scrutinize every word, every action, that passes between the couple all night. She shoots quick glances at Sam to see if he's picking up on the same thing, and is forced to smile and laugh in return when all she finds is a man engrossed in Christmas cheer. She keeps up with the conversation, keeps track of which gifts have been opened, and responds to Natalie's prying questions of do you like it? and are you sure? She does, and she she is, she just isn't sure how to respond to someone buying her a purse. She's always bought them for herself.

"Jules?"

She realizes that somewhere along the line she must have detached herself from the conversation and her surroundings more than she thought, because suddenly she finds herself alone on the sofa as Sam turns out all the lights except for the ones on the tree. "Huh?"

Sam smirks, shakes his head. "I'll take that as a no on more wine."

She gives a small smile, swirls what remains in her glass. "Yeah I think I'm good."

He nods, takes a seat beside her, pulling her close. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah," she nods back, takes a sip of her drink and grins. "It's just been a really long day."

"Copy that." He smiles, digs through a gift bag. "I'm really excited about this jersey. I wasn't sure you would catch the hint."

She laughs, pulls her feet up onto the sofa as she sinks further into him. "'I'd really like a new one for Christmas' isn't exactly a hint."

He simply smiles, relaxing for the first time that day. "Did you like what I got you?"

With a quick glance towards the running shoes in question she nods. "Yeah. They'll be good for gym."

Sam rolls his eyes, his hand disappearing under his pile of gifts only to return with a small wrapped box. "What? You didn't think that was all I got you, did you?"

She eyes him suspiciously as she sits up a little straighter and sets her glass on the coffee table. "What is it?"

Sam's face falls and he glares at her, unimpressed. "I'm pretty sure you're supposed to open it to find that out." He only smiles back when she replies with an eye roll of her own.

Pulling back the paper and the lid of the box she grins. The tiny emerald pendant - which she hopes to god he realizes is Noah's birthstone - is the perfect size to add to the charms currently dangling from her necklace. Without a word, she unclasps the necklace and sets to work settling in the new addition next to the 'J'.

Sam smiles, watches her and tries to gage her reaction. "So… you like it?"

"Huh?" Her confusion shows as she pulls her eyes away from the half completed task in her hands. She really thought she said so. "I love it. Did you know it's Noah's- "

"Obviously. That's why I bought it. Give me some credit here, Jules."

She grins, plants a quick kiss on his cheek before turning her attention back to her necklace.

"You're sure you like it?"

Shaking her head she doesn't bother to face him. "Positive. This is perfect."

He nods, takes her word for it along with the fact that she's barely looked away from the pendant since opening it. "I was a little worried. Nat came with me to buy it and the whole time she just kept insisting it was too small or I should have gotten yellow gold or- "

"Yellow gold wouldn't have matched the rest of my necklace. It's the perfect size for something I'll wear everyday. And since when do Nat and I have the same taste?"

Smiling, he helps her put the necklace back on before sinking back into the sofa with her. When she lazily flops her legs over his he gives a small chuckle at the obnoxious reindeer head on her socks. "I'm sorry, are you five?"

She scowls, shakes the jingling reindeer socks at him. "They're festive," she tells him, daring him to make another comment on the matter. She watches as he studies the socks a moment longer, before seemingly shrugging and moving on. "So, what do you think it going on between Spike and Natalie?"

He frowns, shakes his head. "Right now? In the room next to my parents' bedroom? Gross, Jules. I don't want to know."

She rolls her eyes, sits up slightly to be able to reach her glass on the coffee table. "No, not like that. Sam, I heard them arguing while you were helping your mom with the dishes."

He sighs. "Jules, people argue. Couples argue. Hell, even you and I argue."

"Not like that, Sam. They were arguing about setting a date for the wedding. It's like Spike's ready to get married any day now but Natalie is refusing to make any real plans. Has she said anything to you?"

"Believe it or not, when my sister and I hang out we don't exactly talk about our relationships. There are some things not meant to be shared, Jules."

"Such as why she refuses to set a date?"

"Not everyone is like us. Not everyone can plan their entire wedding in 4 months and be done with it."

Jules sighs, shakes her head. "I think there's more to it than just wedding planning anxiety. You should talk to Nat about it."

"Me? Why me? Jules…"

"You're her big brother. Who else is going to do it?" she asks, shaking her head in horror as he points right back at her. "No. No Sam, I don't think so. Just please, at the very least, watch the two of them next time they're together. Something is off."

He groans, gives a hesitant nod. "Fine. I'll gawk."

"It's not gawking, Sam, it's-"

"Yeah I know, it's looking out for my sister. I said I'd do it, didn't I?"

She gives a half smile and eases her head onto his shoulder. "Thank you."


As the sun's overeager morning rays find their way through the spaces in the blinds and onto her face, she mentally curses Sam's east facing childhood bedroom. Blinking at the change in lighting, Jules checks the clock by the bed. It's only 8am and yet it's the latest she's slept in in months. She's nearly panicked by the realization, but finds her bearings in the memory of Sam's promise the night before to get up with Noah so that she can enjoy a decent night's rest. She smiles to herself and eases her head back onto the pillow, before a noise catches her attention from the other side of the bed. A popping noise. A sort of smacking noise.

Rolling over, she's struck with surprise. With a roll of her eyes she can't help but let out a laugh at the sight in front of her. There lies Sam, sleeping like a baby, while on his chest rests an actual baby. Noah seems unfazed by his father's less than conscious state, and is busy playing with the man's lips. Tugging, then letting go, grinning gleefully at the sound that results. Blue eyes gleaming with mischievous intentions. When he switches to slaps to his father's cheeks for a change of sound, Jules decides it's time to put an end to the fun. Pulling her hair into a quick ponytail she crosses the room to put on her robe before returning to the bed to scoop up Noah.

Thankfully, the removal of the weight on his chest - unlike the playful smacks he'd been receiving just minutes earlier - is enough to rouse Sam from his slumber.

"Hey, no, what's going on?" He scans the room as he sits up in bed, quickly assessing the situation. "I told you I'd get up with him."

Jules smiles, perches on the edge of the bed as she settles Noah on her lap. "You did, and then you took a nap while someone watched. Don't worry about it Sam, I'm just going to take him downstairs, you can sleep til whenever you want."

He sighs, watches her as she leaves before heading to the shower.


Sam excuses himself for a run around 10. Claims he's spent too much time sitting with all the flying they've been doing lately and needs to stretch his legs. Even offers to watch Noah for the afternoon if Jules wants to do the same later, an offer she declines saying she and Spike have plans to cook dinner. With that he's off, jogging down the well kept streets of the base and out into the town.

He's thankful that unlike Alberta, Ontario hasn't quite been hit with snow yet this year. Sure, there's enough to cover the green of the grass, but not so much that it leaves the pavement difficult to run on. He heads down the road into town and makes a quick stop at the last shop on the block. He grabs a pack of grape juice boxes and heads to the floral section. There are a lot of options but the decision is clear, and he quickly takes up a bouquet of purple dyed daises sprinkled with glitter. He pays the cashier and ignores any looks shot his way at the purchase.

He heads around the corner and up the hill, tossing a couple cautious looks over his shoulder as he does so. He's not sure why he does it, just feels the need to be secretive. Maybe it's because he couldn't bring himself to tell Jules where he was really going.

Reaching the gate, he takes a deep breath to steady himself before entering. It's pretty in the winter, an odd description of such a place. Trees, having shed all their leaves months before, instead hold neat piles of snow on their branches. It's well kept, with the walkways and service roads properly cleared. As he approaches he pauses, counts out the stones to be sure he clears off the right one. Something about touching the wrong one terrifies him. The first few brushes of his gloved hand are cautious and hesitant, but he picks up speed and a new sense of dedication at the sight of her name and powers through the light dusting of snow that remains.

When he finishes, he sets the flowers in front of her grave and takes a seat, expertly puncturing a juice box with it's straw. Swallowing hard he raises the box in a small cheers motion. "I promise I won't spill." He gives a small smile at memories of purple stain coverup ops and takes a sip. He's quiet for a long moment as he tries to figure out exactly why he came. Well, he knows exactly why he came - because she's his sister and it's Christmastime - but he's not sure what he had planned to do once he got there. He watches the engravings on the stone as if they might change, carefully rereading the details.

"I don't even know where to start." He slumps in his position and has another sip of purple juice. "I guess it's been a while since I stopped by… Sorry about that." He frowns, wonders if there's something psychologically wrong with a grown man talking to a rock. Her body might be feet beneath him but he's sure she's not there. Why would a little girl spend all her time there? If she's anywhere, and he's not entirely sure what his true belief on the matter is, she's likely somewhere with swing sets and monkey bars, or maybe dollhouses and dress up chests. Still, he can't help but feel like this is the only place he can talk to her.

He thinks back to the last time he visited and decides to start from there. "Well, I told you I was going to ask Jules. She said yes. She married me. Still not entirely sure why, but she did. We have a son now," he smiles, pulls his wallet out of his jacket pocket and retrieves his son's picture, along with her's. "Noah. He's amazing. He doesn't drink grape juice yet, but I'm sure we'll get there. And you know I'll tell him all about you." Studying her picture he takes a deep breath, has another furtive look around as he opens his second juice box.

From there he tells her everything. Tells her about how he was shot, how he doesn't really remember it happening and wonders if maybe that was what it was like for her. If maybe she just woke up one day in another place and had to be told what happened. He hopes so - can't stand the idea of his little sister remembering how she died. He tells her of Natalie's engagement, and about Spike. Tells her how she calls him Michelangelo behind his back and Mike to his face, laughs that it's because Spike would simply roll his eyes at her use of his full name. He tells her how he never thought Natalie would end up with a guy like Spike, and how thankful he is that she has. He tests Jules' theory of Natalie's reluctance to set a date for the wedding, rolling his eyes at the realization that he's essentially relying on a child to help him sort out what the issue there is. Still, he figures he has nothing to lose in sharing the information with her, and continues to talk to her.

When he's finished, having spilled everything he had, he shoves at the frost coated eyelashes and hopes the evidence will have faded by the time he returns home. Rising from his spot in the snow, he adjusts the flowers, making sure to leave only the flowers and the small fabric bow that binds them, and not the plastic wrap that was there when he bought it. The flowers, after all, will dry out nicely until they are collected by the groundskeeper, but plastic? No, that's akin to leaving trash on his baby sister's grave. He notes the location of the nearest trash can and plans to detour slightly on his way out to use it.

He says his goodbye, tells her he loves her, he misses her, and blows her a kiss. Turning to leave he pauses, feels the need to do it even if he can't explain why. He dusts off the stone next to hers, more with a sense of duty than anything else. That's when he realizes that the two Braddock stones have less snow on them than the others. They couldn't have been left undisturbed for more than a day or two by his estimate. He figures it was his mother, unless Natalie's feelings about cemeteries have changed dramatically from when they were teens. With the stone clear he nods to himself, pleased that he did what he was supposed to do, but can't bring himself to do anything more.

Quietly, well, as quietly as can be expected with snow crunching beneath his shoes, he makes his way to the trash can and towards the gates. He sends back one last look, a small sad smile, and turns to make his way home.

TBC


A/N: I know, a little abrupt on the ending there... Like I said, this chapter is basically part 1 of 2.