The sharp sound of steel on steel pierced Gwydion's ears as he was violently awoken from his slumber. He groaned, unaccustomed to being up that early in the morning, before standing up and stumbling out of the tent. The first rays of the sun shone over the treetops, illuminating the nigh abandoned war camp. The only three occupants were Quixotic, Austin and Nitesco. The latter two were busy swinging their dulled training blades at each other, a shrill clang resounding about every time their swords met.
"What the hell are you two doing up so early?"
Nitesco turned to find the source of the noise, an unusually dim expression plastered onto his face. Austin, disappointed in his pupil, raised his training blade and lightly tapped Nitesco on the chest. The strike, if one could call it that, sent Nitesco backwards at a disproportionate speed.
"Oh dear," Austin said dryly. "Did I do that?"
Nitesco and Quixotic both giggled like small children, eliciting an exasperated groan from Austin. Quixotic stood up from a log near the tree line and shrugged as he addressed Gwydion.
"We're all trying to teach the lad our skills. I'm a man with less… reputable experiences, so last night, I thought I'd teach him some of the ways of the underworld. And my first lesson—" he stopped and hiccupped, earning him another exasperated look from Austin. "—was how to hold his liquor."
Gwydion smiled, amused. "And how did he do?"
Nitesco, lying on his back, pumped a fist in the air and laughed triumphantly before his arm turned slack and returned to the ground.
"He went 'bout three rounds before he passed out. That's below average, but that's better than I thought he'd do. Up top."
Nitesco sat up awkwardly, blindly waving in Quixotic's direction. Quixotic started to shamble towards him, only to be interrupted by the earsplitting cry of a bugle which signaled the soldiers to line up for inspection.
Gwydion furrowed his brow, not wanting to be seen with the two drunkards during the inspection. "Austin, what do you say we skip camp and go down to the river? I'd rather not be seen with these embarrassments."
Quixotic hiccupped and tripped over a rock, almost on cue.
Austin nodded firmly. "I think that is a fantastic idea."
The pair disappeared into the forests surrounding the clearing Jaeger had ordered them to set up camp in for the night, shuffling through the vegetation until they reached the riverbank.
"Oh my. I need a break from this sometimes." Austin spoke first, wiping his forehead and sighing forlornly. Gwydion placed a hand on his shoulder.
"I understand. I wish… I wish we could go back to the way it was before."
Austin smiled as he gazed out on the horizon. "Me too. It was a simpler time that we—" He paused. "Do you hear that?"
Gwydion held his breath, listening to the sound of rustling vegetation. "That's just an animal." he said.
"Listen again."
Gwydion once again held his breath and listened closer. The sound of moving leaves continued, but was punctuated by the sound of a person, a person who was breathing heavily. Austin and Gwydion locked eyes before diving behind two different trees for cover.
On the beaten dirt path along the water came a rather short man, out of breath and armed only with a short blade. He was clothed only in a common tunic, and was fearfully inspecting every tree and bush that surrounded him, as if looking for someone. Austin nodded to Gwydion before leaping out from behind his tree.
The short man saw him and tried to run, but was intercepted by Gwydion. The blacksmith body-checked him, which sent him to the ground and knocked his sword from his hand. Austin grabbed his arms and pinned him to the ground, while Gwydion stood menacingly over him.
"Who are you? How did you find us?" Gwydion leaned in, causing the man to squeal.
"I don't know who you are! I wasn't looking for anyone in particular!"
Austin saw the man up before twisting his arms behind his back. "What are you doing out here, then?"
"I bring a message from the Renora queen!" He inhaled sharply, suppressing another squeal.
"She seeks allies against Celtic. He's already forced Enabler and Lancaster to submit, and his eyes have turned to us now. I'm just a messenger, please don't kill me!" He struggled against Austin's grip, prompting the veteran to let him go.
"Fine. But you're coming back to camp with us," Austin said. The cowardly courier nodded profusely. Gwydion grabbed him by the arm, dragging him along as they trudged through the trees back to the encampment.
"General! General!" Their cries alerted Jaeger, who was busy lecturing Nitesco and Quixotic.
"What? Where have you two been? I've been looking—"
Gwydion threw the envoy on the ground. "We found him lurking around by the river. He claims to be a messenger from Renora, but we wanted you to make sure first."
"It's true, it's true!" The man fumbled about in his belt pouch until he found a crumpled-up parchment. He handed it to Jaeger. "Read this if you don't believe me!"
Jaeger's eyes widened as he scanned the document and formulated a response. "The capital is half a day's march from here. If we depart within the hour and follow Confirmed River, we should reach the city by sundown. The Renorans should lend us their support against Celtic, and together we'll finish this revolt." The general turned to face his men, who were busy eating breakfast. "Alright, men! We're packing up immediately! Spread the word: finish your breakfast and take down the tents, we're marching towards Renora to finish this once and for all!" The men cheered and began taking down the tents.
Austin and Gwydion walked towards their teammates, who were in the beginning stages of a hangover. The pair sighed in unison and began pulling their tent stakes from the ground.
"Excuse me?" The courier spoke timidly. "What do I do now?"
Austin sighed and turned his attention away from the stakes. "You'll join our little legion here, and when the time comes you'll fight Celtic with us." The man seized up at the mention of fighting, but Austin outstretched his hand to calm him.
"Don't focus on that right now. First, you'll help us take down this tent, seeing as how two of my friends are indisposed. Would you be a dear and get that one for me?"
The envoy nodded, got down and pulled the stake from the ground. The tent came down, was packed up, and soon the Bumblebee remnant was making its final march to Renora.
The evening peace was disconcerting.
From the walls over the South Gate of the Renora capital, King Zentics looked down, watching and listening as the rustling of the trees in the forest outside his capital alerted him to the presence of an army. Celtic marched towards his home, planning to absorb it into his kingdom, or worse, destroy it as he did with Bumblebee. As the first lines of infantry emerged from the woods, Zentics signaled for his men to ready their bows.
The men, bearing the colors of Night's Watch, continued streaming through the trees, approaching the city walls as they calmly advanced over the plain between the forest and the capital. A bugle sounded; almost immediately they stopped and made a space down the middle. From the opposite end of the field, Celtic and his lieutenants began riding calmly through the divide, flanked by members of the 942nd Cavaliers, the most famous mercenary company in the Subreddit. About twenty meters from the gate he and his escort halted, and Celtic raised a hand towards Zentics as an expression of peace.
"I come in peace, Zentics! I mean you and your nation no harm!"
Zentics laughed in disbelief. "Your actions indicate otherwise. Just today, seven of my lords and generals were assassinated. Four of them killed each other. I don't know how you did this, but it shows you cannot be trusted."
"As opposed to what?" He opened his arms, gesturing to the legions at his back. "It is far better for your health and your people to trust me. I only wish to parlay. I wish to solve this diplomatically."
Zentics scowled. "You could've just asked. My courtiers didn't need to die."
"Are we going to parlay or do we have to do this the difficult way?"
The Renora king sighed in defeat and gestured for his archers to stand down. "Fine. But I get to dictate some of the terms of my surrender. And only five of your number will be allowed to speak with me. Inside the city."
"I would expect nothing less." Celtic steered his horse so he was facing his co-conspirators. "Yukon, Vulpix, Inferno. You'll handle the diplomatic areas. Jokey, you and Samurai will provide security. Look out for suspicious behavior. Go." He gestured for the five to advance.
The portcullis was raised, and the five impromptu diplomats rode through while they received distrustful glares from the Renora soldiers. Jokey looked around nervously, earning him Samurai's attention.
"Jokey? Are you alright?"
"Yes. Fine." He shook himself, as if trying to rouse himself from a trance. "I didn't expect to ever come home. Especially not like this…"
"Why not?"
Jokey sighed. "Perhaps later. Now isn't the best time." Samurai shrugged and continued forward.
When the five reached the castle, they stopped and dismounted, all the while remaining ever vigilant for possible assassins. They followed Zentics and his guardsmen through the castle gate and the lush, verdant courtyard into the throne room. There, two guardsmen shut the door behind them, leaving only Zentics, his wife, a couple bodyguards and the diplomats inside.
Zentic's queen, Herzlosa, sat up and groaned at their arrival, gently setting her crown onto her chair before rolling up her sleeves and walking up to Inferno.
"Oh joy, the little insurrection has arrived. Didn't you get your rocks off with Bumblebee, must Renora now suffer this indignity too?"
Yukon stepped forward, lightly but forcefully pushing the woman away from them. "I'd suggest a tone a little more respectful, considering you're about to become our vassals."
Herzlosa snickered, earning her a scornful glance from her husband.
"And who might you be? Either a religious cultist or an edgy teenager who thinks that a mask like that…" Her gaze wandered from Yukon to Inferno to Samurai and finally, to Jokey. Upon seeing him, her haughty expression turned to one of barely contained anger and she jabbed a finger violently in his direction.
"YOU!"
Jokey sighed, already exasperated.
"Hello, mother."
The queen turned white with fury and immediately moved so close to Jokey that he instinctively recoiled.
"I TOLD YOU NEVER TO RETURN HERE!"
Jokey pushed her away, angry. "I don't give a damn what you told me!"
"Yes, your childhood proved that. Your father and I had such high hopes for you as a child. You could've become a singer, or one of the war engineers. But no. You were strange. You were sick. You spent all the time you could tinkering with your machines, to better inflict suffering on the poor animals behind our house. Do you know how difficult it was, keeping that hidden from my friends? From my family? I should've cast you from the wall as an infant."
Jokey balled his fists. "That was then. This is now."
Herzlosa laughed, her previous haughtiness returning in full. "And still, you haven't changed. You're still just as self-righteous and sadistic as you were as a child, but now that you've got a flag to carry, you're master of the universe!"
"Celtic saved me. After you cast me out." Jokey's hand inched, slowly but surely over to the hilt of his blade. "He taught me how to fight. He taught me how to lead. And he showed me the corruption that has afflicted the Subreddit since its creation! He is more of a parent to me than you ever were!"
"I did what needed to be done. Your infernal machine cost me my husband and my son. I couldn't bring myself to kill you, but now I realize my mistake."
Jokey rocketed forwards, hands out, and tackled his mother. He shrieked in anger and began throttling her against the stone floor while the Kingsguard readied their weapons. Samurai and Vulpix pried Jokey from the queen as Yukon tried to calm the guards down.
"Easy, easy. No need for bloodshed. We just want to discuss terms."
Zentics sighed and slouched in his throne. "Alright. I have some terms."
Vulpix returned to his natural, composed state and walked calmly up to the king. "You understand what will happen if you resist, if you kill us. I hate to say it, but you have no say in these matters. Inferno, would you tell our friends the terms of surrender?"
Inferno stepped forward, gesturing dramatically. "Much obliged. In simple terms, you and your kingdom will become vassals of the Celtic Council. You will surrender control of three-fourths of the current Renora military to us, but you will retain the remaining fourth as peacekeepers. You will give us a quarter of the gold in your treasury, and you will provide us a monthly tribute of a sixteenth of your income. You will swear fealty to me, and you will lend your remaining military forces when I ask them of you. Do you understand?"
Zentics shrugged. "It seems I have no choice. Where do I sign?" Inferno reached into his pouch and produced a document and a quill. Zentics dipped the quill in a container of ink next to his throne and signed. Inferno, happy, rolled up the document and returned it to his pocket.
"Sire! Sire! Bumblebee soldiers are coming out of the forest!"
One of the guards next to the window gestured to the advancing legions, summoning the king, queen and diplomats to the window. Despite the shroud of darkness and fog, the brazen banner of Bumblebee could be plainly seen, even from the castle. Herzlosa turned and laughed condescendingly at the five.
"HA! My messengers got lucky after all. With the remaining Bumblebee legions at Renora's back, we will CRUSH your pathetic rebellion once and for all!"
Yukon chuckled maliciously. "Not so fast. The good king here just signed Renora into becoming Celtic's vassal. You are now sworn to stand with us in any military conflict, but you just threatened to act against us, which means…" he motioned toward one of the guards to finish his statement.
Hesitantly, one of the guards turned towards his queen, tension imprinted on his face. "I'm sorry, my queen, but our liege is Celtic now. Our loyalty is to him, and you, my queen, have committed treason." Almost instantly, her arrogance and pride disappeared from her face, replaced by fear. She turned to her husband, silently pleading for clemency. Jokey turned towards the king, a smug smile on his face, and shook his head.
"That would be a mistake, my good sir."
Zentics nodded. "Indeed it would be. Guards, take her away. We'll deal with her later."
The two guards closest to her looped their arms around hers, restraining her. The queen, instead of crying out or fighting back, merely went limp, a horrified, hateful expression on her face. As the pair dragged their former commander through the door to the dungeons, she kept her eyes trained on her son, who merely smirked in return.
"Now what? Do we join our master?" Samurai asked.
"I'm keeping my legions out of the fighting," the king said. "I'll need my military to keep order after news of our surrender is spread. Besides, I'm sure Celtic can handle this on his own."
Outside the city walls, Celtic watched as his foes marched towards him, brazen and bold in the evening cool. He turned to his remaining three lieutenants: Greatness, Nachbar and Maker.
"They're even stupider than I thought they'd be." Greatness chuckled darkly. "Shall I deal with them, my liege?"
"Yes." Celtic beckoned for Greatness to hand him his axe.
"It's time we finish this, once and for all."
