Chapter Seven

One of the things Misato enjoyed most, besides eating and beer, was sleep. One of the things she enjoyed least was waking up from sleep, especially a sleep brought on by the eating and beer. The fact that she had to go to work only made it worse. Blearily, she rolled off of her futon, climbed over the pile of junk that separated her from the alarm clock, and turned it off, then rose to her feet. She leaned on the wall for a bit, then made her way over to the bathroom to either puke or take a shower. If she had to puke, she was definitely going to puke first.

She opened the door and was surprised to discover that the shower had been running. The room was full of steam. She was about to apologize for walking in on Shinji when she further realized that a naked Rei Ayanami was standing in her bathroom, brushing her teeth. In the mirror, Rei's crimson eyes drifted to her and studied her for a moment, and then the girl bent over, spit in the sink, rinsed out her mouth, and threw her towel over her shoulders, which didn't do much of a job of concealing anything.

"What?" said Rei.

"Rei," Misato said, rubbing the bridge of her nose, "What are you doing here?"

"I was brushing my teeth. I must dress."

"No," Misato leaned against the wall, "I mean, why aren't you at home?"

"I spent the night with Shinji. Excuse me. I need my clothes."

Misato turned away, suddenly remembering that the girl was, in fact, naked. She looked around the bathroom. "I don't see your clothes anywhere."

"They are in Shinji's room. May I go now?"

"Wait, what? You stripped in front of him?"

"My nudity was conducive to our sexual activity."

"Oh," Misato said. She sat down on the toiler for a minute, holding her head in her hands, and then sat bolt upright.

"Your what?"


Asuka was beginning to resent a great number of things about living in Japan. The food, the apartment she lived in, the language, the heat, and most of all this ridiculous requirement that she attend middle school. A college graduate, doofing around with quadratic equations and other such childish nonsense. She had a degree in biology. They might as well have sent her to kindergarten.

At least the other girls here knew their place. They all stared at her in awe as she walked through the halls to her first class. She had a good six inches on most of them, and some were even shorter, and her red hair stood out here like never before. She gave it a toss as she walked into the room, letting the light catch it. One of the girls approached her.

"Are you the transfer?"

"Yes," Asuka said idly, handing the pigtailed girl her folder. She would serve well as a beta female.

"Oh, oh. Well, choose a seat, I guess."

"Shouldn't I introduce myself to the class?" Asuka said, arching an eyebrow.

"I-if you want," the girl said, and then quickly sat down.

The doddering old teacher didn't seem to see her, much less notice her, so she went to the front of the room and wrote her name in a flowing hand halfway across the board and turned with just enough bounce to show the luster in her hair again, and announced her name.

At the back of the room, Shinji sat smirking in a desk, leaning his back against the wall with one leg thrown over the arm of the desk beside him, lounging idly. Ayanami, the First Child, slender and pale, sat next to him, lying against his shoulder. He twirled his fingers through her hair idly. Asuka immediately stared daggers at her, annoyed by their public display of affection. Didn't these people have rules?

The boy with the glasses, the one who insisted on filming everything, stood up from beside Shinji and declared, "You have entered the domain of Lord Shinji. He gives you leave to be seated."

Asuka stared in open-mouthed shock.

She looked at the mousy girl with the pigtails. "Aren't you supposed to control the class?"

"Y-yes," the girl replied sheepishly from her seat. The other students were snickering and typing away wildly on their laptops.

Clenching her fists, Asuka walked over to Shinji and slapped his foot from the top of the desk. He sat up and adjusted himself, and Ayanami wriggled to position herself against him again.

"What are you doing?" she demanded, planting her fists on her hips.

"Nothing of consequence," Shinji shrugged.

"You're setting a bad example, and you're making us look bad."

"I am?"

She tried not to grit her teeth. "We're pilots. We're the best humanity has to offer. We should be setting a standard."

"If we're the best humanity has to offer," said Shinji, "why are we here?"

"Wait," the boy in the tracksuit said, "I think I resent that."

"Be quiet, ape," Asuka snapped.

"You are also, technically, an ape," said Ayanami, in a slightly confused voice.

Asuka huffed in exasperation. "I'm not talking to you. That's another thing, Shinji. You shouldn't be pawing all over your creepy little doll in public."

"I am not a doll," said Rei, her eyes narrowing.

"Oh," said Shinji. "Jealous? There's enough Shinji for all."

The two boys, and, she realized, a gathering crowd, all nodded in approval as Shinji slapped his leg. Asuka clenched her fists and pressed her teeth together. "I'm going to tell Major Katusragi about this."

"I'm going to tell on you," the boy in the tracksuit mocked in a nasally voice.

She made an exasperated growl and headed back to the front of the classroom.


Ritsuko felt a ball of ice form in her stomach as she pulled up the recorded readings from Unit Two's sortie against the aquatic angel and began to go over the numbers. She would have preferred that they made no sense- the rand garbage data that piled out of Unit One was frustrating, but this was outright frightening. The production model's more sophisticated systems more precisely measured every aspect of the unit's operation, the pilot's vital signs, the synchronization connections, even the pressure and temperature in the plug. The readings started off as a confused ball of static and then flatlined to zero, as if the Unit weren't even operating.

When Shinji synched with it, the beast began to move on its own.

She sighed. This meant a long diagnostic check, a swim in the cold LCL, and crawling around through miles of tubes and wires in Unit Two trying to diagnose the problem with the sensors, even if it was imaginary.

She jerked upright as a pair of arms settled around her shoulders and quickly minimized the window, bringing up a picture of her cats piled up on her bed.

"You've lost weight," Kaji whispered in her ear.

"Coffee and cigarettes," she said, annoyed, as she shrugged out of his grip. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"It's nice to see you, too, Rits," Kaji said sarcastically, throwing up his hands in a gesture of surrender. "It's been a while."

"Not long enough," she turned back to her work. "Did you want something?"

"My patented charm is failing? You wound me."

"I'm going to do more than wound your pride if you don't get out of here. Everything in here is classified."

"I've got clearance," he shrugged, holding out a laminated I.D. badge. "Inspector. See?"

"What, exactly do you inspect?"

He leaned dangerously close to her. "Beautiful women, whenever possible."

Behind him, Maya coughed. "I brought those reports you wanted."

Kaji straightened. "Oh. I suppose I'll let you get back to work."

"Do that," Ritsuko said angrily. "Bring me those reports, Maya."

The lech eyed the girl appreciatively as she passed, taking a lingering glance at her posterior. She snorted derisively and gave him a hard look and he retreated through the door, slipping a rather worn looking cigarette into his mouth. Maya made a disapproving sound and dumped a hefty file folder full of reports onto Ritsuko's desk.

"I never thought I'd be happy to see this junk," she muttered.

"They've finished moving Unit Two into the cage." Said Maya.

Ritsuko drummed her fingertips on the stack of reports.


Misato was almost relieved when the phone rang. She had enough reports and paperwork to fill out that she could have dropped what she was doing, taken the papers, and used them to build a little fort. She picked up her desk phone and answered with a tired "Hello."

"Major Katsuragi?" a woman's voice said. "This is-"

"Yes, yes," Misato sighed, "the school secretary, I know. What did he do now?"

"He? You misunderstand. Both of your pilots are involved, Major. Don't think that just because you-"

Misato angrily hung up, jumped to her feet, and thrust her arms through her jacket. As she walked out of her office, she angrily shoved Kaji out of the way, pulling the door sharply shut behind her. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I was hoping I could convince you to help me christen my new desk," he smirked.

"What? Seriously? Get out of my way."

Angrily, she stomped down the hallway to the elevator, cursing its slowness as Kaji caught up to her, leaning against the wall beside the doors. He looked her up and down with that lecherous look of his and she crossed her arms defensively, then immediately regretted it. Changing her body language would only signal him that he was getting to her. She put her arms back down. Damn it, now she was fidgeting.

"Something wrong?"

"My pilots are doing something horrible to that school," she muttered, beginning to tap her foot.

"Sending Asuka to school was probably a mistake."

"These kids deserve a normal life."

"Yeah," he shrugged. "Too bad about the whole child soldier giant robot pilot thing."

"Oh shut up," she snapped.

Finally, the elevator arrived. She hurriedly pushed the close door button, but he slipped inside anyway, taking up a position in the far corner of the elevator, leaning into it with practiced casual indifference. He nodded silently to himself as the counter ticked off the floors, which somehow made the noise grate on Misato's nerves even further. Once the doors opened she hurriedly made her way to the parking garage, and as she fumbled in her pocket for her keys, noticed they were missing.

Kaji jingled them next to her ear.

"How did you-"

"Trade secret," he tugged them out of her reach. "Why don't we take my car, for old times?"

She snatched her keys way. "No. Go away."

Hurriedly, she opened up the car and dropped into the driver's seat, only to realize that he was parked next to her in a white Lotus. When she turned the key and brought the car to life, he gunned his own engine and skidded forward out of the parking spot a little bit, tires screeching. She narrowed her eyes, threw the car into gear, and floored it.

He kept pace with her easily, even making the sharp turn out of the garage into the tunnel that lead up to the surface. It was a relatively short drive to the school from there, for obvious reasons. Kaji pulled alongside her in the parking lot and followed after her when she got out.

"You're losing your edge,"

"Go away," she said again, almost running up the front steps to the doors of the school.

She heard shouting and headed towards it. A half dozen adults, including the wizened old teacher of Shinji's class, the school secretaries and the administrators were milling around a much larger crowd of girls, all in their uniform swimsuits. Most prominent of them was Asuka, marked out both by her height and her fiery hair. She scowled when saw Misato.

"Get that lunatic out of there!" she shouted, pointing at the entrance to the girl's locker room.

"What the hell is going on?"

"Shinji and his idiot friends are in there, that's what!"

Another girl with freckles and pigtails, standing next to Asuka said, "They have our clothes!"

Clenching her fists, Misato walked to the door of the locker room. "What the hell are you doing in there?"

"The Red Devil insulted our queen!" the Suzahara boy called back. "We have taken their panties hostage until reparations are made!"

"We are fully committed to the cause!" the Aida boy shouted. "We are prepared for martyrdom!"

She turned to Asuka. "What are they going on about?"

"I didn't do anything," Asuka said defensively. "This is absurd. Do something."

"These are our demands!" Suzahara shouted. "First, we demand that our teacher be replaced with a hot babe. Second, we demand that the Red Devil publicly apologize. Third, we demand that Miss Katsuragi put on a school swimsuit for us."

"I am going to murder that little shit," she snapped.

"It was Kensuke's idea!"

Sighing, Misato looked around. "Where's Rei?"

"She has joined the resistance!"

"Traitorous bi-"

"Asuka!" Misato snapped.

The girl crossed her arms and huffed.

Kaji appeared beside her. "I offer to go in and negotiate."

"This is absurd," the school principal said angrily, appearing by the door. "Get them out of there, now, before I call the police."

"Our glorious leader has agreed to grant the man Kaji safe passage for the purposes of negotiation," Aida called.


It had been a long time since Kaji had been in the girl's locker room, but the scent of deodorant and starched school uniforms brought back pleasant memories. He almost had a smile on his face until he snaked through the curved corridor that prevented anyone from peeking into the dressing area and saw what was going on inside.

Shinji sat on a throne built out of boxes, and, well, underwear, Rei Ayanami curled on his lap. He rested his chin on one fist and favored Kaji with a bemused smile, while the male half of his class crowded around him, seated on the benches between the lockers as if he were about to dispense some great wisdom. Two boys, a tall one in a track suit and a smaller, goofier one who was filming the whole thing, stood on either side of him, mops held in their hands like spears and, absurdly, girls' panties on their heads like hats.

"Tell me those are clean," Kaji huffed.

In reply, Shinji took hold of Rei's hips and guided her to the floor, and then stood up, a pair of panties in his hand. He raised them over his head in a clenched fist and the boys broke out in a cheer, banging their fists on the lockers.

"Is that… did you…"

Shinji grinned. "Yes."

Angrily, Kaji stormed over to him. "I want to talk to you. Alone."

The boys edged around him, the two with the mops pointing them at him dangerously, until Shinji raised a hand and gestured to them. He followed Kaji away from the mob around another set of lockers. He leaned over the boy, and was nonplussed by his lack of reaction, but didn't show it.

"What the hell are you doing? Why are you doing this to her?"

His expression shifted. "What?"

"Asuka. Do you know how hard it is on her to move away from everything she's ever known? She's in a strange place full of strange people, strange food, and a strange language, and you pull this bullshit on her. I should kick your ass."

The boy fixed his gaze on Kaji. "You might try."

"Listen, you-"

"No," Shinji said sharply, "Steel is brittle unless it is properly tempered."

Kaji stood up. "You're insane."

"Lesser men sit in circles and speak with each other of what sane or not. I act."

"You really are out of your mind. They're going to kick both of you out of school over this."

"I think I've made my point," said Shinji.

He walked back around the lockers. "Everyone out. Leave the clothes."

There was a collective sigh of disappointment, and the two boys peeled the panties from their heads and tossed them onto the pile. Shinji added the pair he held and walked out, the Ayanami girl beside him, and Kaji followed, the last out. Shinji made a show of presenting himself to the principal, holding out his wrists as if he expected to be handcuffed.

The principal sputtered and took a step back. "Katusragi, I want him and this new transfer student out of here! Now!"


Fuyutsuki calmly finished reading the report to Ikari over the phone, then listened to the hissing silence from the other end, finally broken by "He what?"

"He held the female student body's clothing hostage for two hours this afternoon."

"I am not amused."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I am not. Neither are you. Am I clear?"

"If you insist," Fuyutsuki chuckled. "I remember you doing worse in your day, why-"

"Stop. We are not becoming sentimental about these children. We cannot afford that."

Fuyutsuki said nothing.

"The repairs to Unit Two?"

"Progressing," Fuyutsuki said, thumbing through the report. "All three units will be fully operational before the arrival of the Seventh, as predicted."

"Excellent. Inform me of any further irregularities. I will not return for some time, unfortunately. The operation with the Lance requires my full attention."

"Of course," Fuyutsuki said. "What should I do about the pilots?"

"Whatever you see fit. Their behavior does not concern me so long as they are effective in fulfilling their purpose. The school is a necessary resource. Do whatever you need to do to ensure their compliance. I don't need some educator with a superiority complex annoying me when it comes to procuring another pilot."

"Yes, sir," Fuyutsuki sighed, then hung up. He sat back in his chair for a moment, and then dialed the number for the school principal.


Maya giggled, and Ritsuko turned in her chair, eyeing her assistant warily. "What now?"

"I've got the report from Asuka's biometrics, from the sortie," Maya handed her the file. "Does that look like what I think it looks like?"

Ritsuko looked over the report. Elevated heart rate, blood pressure, electrical activity on the skin, all normal. "I don't see what you're…" she trailed off as she flipped through the rest of the report, the skin temperature readings, and the feedback from her nerve clips.

"That's impossible."

"Can I sign up to be a pilot?"

"What?"

"I haven't had a boyfriend that doesn't need batteries since-"

"Gah," said Ritsuko, "stop that, stop telling me that. Never tell me that again."

It was then that Misato walked into the lab, closed the door behind her, and locked it. She slid down onto the floor and slumped against the door, visibly exhausted. Her uniform was disheveled and her hair was out of place.

"What the hell happened to you?"

"I'm going crazy," said Misato, pressing her hands over her eyes. "I can't take this."

"What happened?"

"Didn't you hear? Shinji got himself and Asuka thrown out of school. It took Fuyutsuki calling to personally apologize to the principal to get them back in. He said I'm lucky I'm not being demoted."

"What did he do?" said Maya. She leaned forward and propped her chin on her hands.

"You're not going to believe this. Asuka tried to help their class rep or whatever enforce the rules, and she said something to Rei about being a doll," Misato rubbed her forhead. "So he waited for the girls to change into their swimsuits for gym class and led the entire class of boys into the locker rooms and stole their clothes. They built him a throne of panties. A throne of panties."

"Holy shit," said Maya.

Ritsuko stared at her in shock.

"What? I can cuss if I want to."

"That's not all," said Misato. "I walked in on Rei in the bathroom this morning."

"Here?" said Ritsuko. "I thought she was at school?"

"No, my bathroom. She spent the night in Shinji's room last night. I have to go and give them the talk. Oh, and did you know that Rei's hair is naturally that color? I always thought she dyed it. I need a drink."

Ritsuko rolled her eyes. "I'm her physician, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. I don't want to go home. They'll be there. They might be there right now."

"You'd better go," said Ritsuko. "I wouldn' t worry too much, though. We have Rei on birth control. It's a hormonal thing."

"That's not the point," said Misato. "It's weird, it's weirding me out."

Slowly, she stood up and straightened her hair, and her uniform jacket. "I'm going home for the day. I'll see you tomorrow."

They watched her go, and Maya turned to Ritsuko.

"Her hair is really that color?"

Ritsuko palmed her face.


With a sigh, Fuyutsuki dialed Gendo's number and waited patiently for the connection. He drummed his fingers on the newly prepare surveillance report on the pliots as he waited on the hissing line for Ikari answer him.

"Now what?"

"I have the report on the pilots' activities for the last few days."

"This had better be important."

Slowly, and his best possible monotone, Fuyutsuki read the description of Shinji sneaking Rei into Katsuragi's apartment while the latter was at work, as well as the recorded exchanges on the microphones.

"He what?"