Another short one, but hopefully more will come now that I'm on break for a couple weeks and am all alone for the holidays with lots of free time.

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Lexie was having difficulty sleeping yet again, tossing and turning she couldn't get her years spent fearing Celine out of her head. She could remember every bruise, every gash and even though she had escaped she was still haunted by the idea that Celine was still out there. Lexie knew Hogwarts was safe, if anything she could at least take comfort in the fact that Celine was a muggle and wouldn't even be able to find Hogwarts.

Lexie turned her pillow over yet again trying to find the cool side but it just felt hot and suffocating. Giving up, Lexie quietly pushed aside her curtains and stepped onto the cold dormitory floor. She shuffled over to her trunk and began sifting through its contents trying to stay quiet and not wake the other girls. Finally Lexie uncovered a battered sketchpad and a box of charcoal and she carefully bundled the two items in her arms before heading down to the common room. The previous occupants of the room had fled long before leaving only scraps of parchments and candy wrappers behind and Lexie made her way over to the fireplace and cracked open her sketchpad.

She hadn't drawn in it for a long time and she slowly flipped through its contents. Drawings of characters from her dreams, which she now realized weren't dreams when she came across one of Sirius and another of Dumbledore. What did they mean? She hadn't a clue. She stopped when she reached the time spent with Celine. Drawings she remembered doing in the dark shaking from fear and pain. As much as Lexie hated to admit it, Celine was always beautiful. She wasn't warm or kind, but her perfectly highlighted platinum hair paired with her crystal blue eyes made her look like the perfect Aryan woman. Lexie stared at her rough sketches, she had captured the beauty perfectly but she had also captured the malice and hate and the drawings were enough to make Lexie shiver with memories.

She flipped through the many drawings of Celine and reached a drawing of a young male with a wide grin and newsboy cap perched on his head. Lexie smiled, she hadn't seen that grin in months but it still brought a smile to her face. She missed him, but she knew he was probably doing fine without her. He never needed looking after anyways, it had always been the opposite as he was always looking after her. Lexie's last sketches were done when she had returned to the orphanage tired and beaten. Random kids flitting throughout the pages along with an occasional sketch of a stern Mrs. Tobias, Lexie never missed the orphanage, not exactly. She could hardly miss the hard beds and damp atmosphere, but there was something about living with a group of other unwanted kids that was to be desired.

Nobody stood out there and nobody cared, personal histories were irrelevant and questions were never asked. Hogwarts was different. James, Remus, Peter, and even Sirius mentioned their home lives or told stories of growing up. Lexie didn't have stories like they did; she never had siblings to talk about or crazy relatives to laugh about. It was times like these when she would quietly gather her things and leave the boys to reminisce, it hurt too much to stay and it was too much work to lie.

Lexie flipped to a clean page and opened her box of charcoals. There wasn't much left anymore but a few nubs, a gift she had received a long time ago from Mrs. Tobias. Gifts were rare at the orphanage, but for some reason Mrs. Tobias had blessed her one Christmas with a box of charcoals and a sketchpad. The gift was most likely an attempt to keep Lexie out of trouble and to stop pestering her every second.

Lexie was perfecting McGonagall's scowl when a voice near her ear said "You know if you had a thing for McGonagall all you had to do was say so. You wouldn't have had to make excuses for late office visits claiming you needed extra help with lessons."

Lexie couldn't help releasing a snort at the idea of her trying to woo McGonagall, the age difference alone was laughable, even if she swung that way.

Sirius had moved from behind Lexie and pounced on the cushion next to her shoving his feet onto her lap.

"Nice Sirius, do I look like a footrest?"

Sirius grinned, "Yup. You knew Lex, I'm sure if you just asked her out she'd say yes. I mean sure you're a student, but she seems to like you. In fact-"

"I'm not into McGonagall Sirius!" Lexie protested cutting him off.

"Oh come on, it's okay to admit these things. Between you and me, I've been known to write a few love letters to a certain blue-eyed long-bearded wizard every now and then, it's nothing to be ashamed of" replied Sirius trying to contain his grin.

Imagining Sirius proclaiming his love to Dumbledore caused Lexie to burst out in laughter and Sirius' laughter soon followed. When she had to gasp for air, Lexie's laughter slowly died away leaving only wide grins as she slowly shook her head at Sirius' ridiculousness.

Sirius just grinned back, he always loved having silly conversations with Lexie. "Really though, why are you drawing McGonagall. I mean there are so many other attractive art specimens here. Like moi for example" he said striking a silly pose.

Lexie couldn't help releasing a snort and found it a little ironic since she already had several drawings of Sirius pre-Hogwarts that he didn't know about. "Yes Sirius, you're so gorgeous, oh I can't believe how lucky I am to have such a capable subject to draw" she swooned, her voice tinged with amusement.

Sirius just chuckled, "So do you draw all your professors this late at night, or is tonight a special occasion?"

Lexie was momentarily brought back to her disturbing thoughts about Celine but shook them off before Sirius could notice, "Couldn't sleep is all, sometimes I draw when I can't sleep. McGonagall's scowl was just too hard to resist" she replied with a smile.

Sirius shook his head this time, "You're way too strange Lex, way too strange."

"Hey, watch it mister" she said giving his feet a shove, "be nice or the next one I'll draw will be you serenading Dumbledore."

"I'd like to see that Lex. Hey, can I see other things you've drawn? You know, just to make sure you aren't harboring an obsession for a certain Transfiguration professor."

Not expecting Sirius to ask to see her other sketches Lexie grew a little nervous, "Oh, um, I'd rather not show you them all, I mean it's just some are kind of… personal."

"Oh no, please tell me there aren't any nude ones in there!"

"Nah, nothing like that" said Lexie quietly remembering all her drawings of Celine.

Sirius seemed to pick up on her drop in enthusiasm and regretted teasing her, "Sorry, I didn't mean to pry. It's okay, you don't have to show me anything if you don't want to."

Lexie chewed her lower lip nervously and felt the need to dispel the awkwardness that had filled the air. Without looking up, she flipped to a page of Mrs. Tobias, "Remember that woman I teased you about wooing on the train, well take a look at your future wife. I'm sure your children will be beautiful," said Lexie holding up the sketch.

Sirius took one look at the unhappy older woman Lexie had sketched out, her hair had come loose from it's bun and her lips were in a taut line and he let loose a laugh, Lexie wasn't joking whenever she talked about Mrs. Tobias being a bitter old woman.

"Oh yes, little Sirius Tobias Black will be quite the charmer I'm sure" he said still laughing causing Lexie to giggle as she closed her sketchbook.

When their laughter had died down again Lexie turned back to Sirius, "So what are you doing awake? You aren't doubting your Gryffindorness again are you?"

"Gryffindorness? Is that even a word?"

Lexie just shrugged, "so let's hear it, I shared a sketch now spill."

Sirius shrugged, "Same reason you're here I guess."

"What? To draw McGonagall?"

Sirius smiled, "Nah, couldn't sleep either."

Lexie returned the smile, "Why?"

Sirius looked up at her, his grey eyes flashed with pain briefly, "Bad thoughts mostly. Mum and dad aren't too pleased with the sorting, they've been sending me letters all term saying how much I've bollixed things up. I'm not too keen on going home for Christmas holidays."

"I'm sorry Sirius. You know whatever they say they're wrong right? Don't give them the satisfaction of doubting whether you were sorted wrong. Plus, Christmas is still a couple months off, maybe they'll get over it by then."

Sirius knew they wouldn't but didn't want to worry Lexie, "Yeah, maybe. Thanks for what you said, I guess I let them get to me sometimes."

"Sirius, you're Gryffindor through and through. You just need to believe it a little more."

Feeling slightly uncomfortable with Lexie's praise Sirius turned the conversation back to her, "So what about you? Why couldn't you sleep?"

"Oh, um, same thing I guess, the bad thoughts thing. Not so much the family disappointment thing. Just me worrying about something stupid."

Sirius frowned, "Lex if you're worrying about it and if it's enough to keep you awake I'm sure it's anything but stupid."

Lexie just shrugged.

"What were you worrying about?" Sirius asked cautiously knowing how much Lexie liked to keep to herself when it came to things outside of Hogwarts.

"Just something from the past that's been bugging me. No need to get into it really, it's over."

Sirius didn't want to push so he just turned and stared into the cracking fireplace, he was surprised when he heard Lexie's voice again.

"It's just-" Lexie paused not knowing exactly what to say without revealing too much, Sirius turned back towards her silently urging for her to continue.

"Are you afraid of anything Sirius?"

Whatever Sirius expected Lexie to say that wasn't it and he briefly ran the question over in his head, "Sure, we're all afraid of stuff Lexie. Gryffindors or not."

Lexie swallowed and turned her hazel eyes towards Sirius' liquid silver ones and whispered, "What are you afraid of Sirius?"

Sirius grimaced not really wanting to answer, but Lexie's eyes seemed to be pleading with him, "I know it sounds, well stupid, but my parents. I'm not so much afraid of them but what they'll do I guess, how they'll act when I go home. I pretty much took everything they told me to do and I've done the exact opposite. I'm afraid of how they'll react."

"That's not stupid Sirius."

He turned his eyes back towards hers, "What are you afraid of Lex?"

Lexie closed her eyes remembering Celine, how much she just wanted Celine to want her, to care for her. She opened her eyes and looked back at Sirius. Sirius saw the pain flash through her eyes, it was ten times worse than any pain he could imagine and he wondered what she had been through. Finally Lexie spoke in a whisper barely loud enough for him to hear, "I'm afraid nobody cares about me."

Sirius shook his head. He didn't know how to reply to that. Sure he could tell Lexie how much he cared about her, but he felt like they would just be empty words. Instead he removed his feet from her lap and pulled Lexie into a tight hug letting her sketchbook fall to the floor.

After a few minutes he whispered, "You should know that right now I'm risking my life by getting your girl germs all over me. Clearly I care at least a little bit about you to risk my health."

Lexie gave a soft laugh that became muffled by his chest, "Thanks Sirius, hopefully you don't catch a disease from me."

Sirius smiled, "Yeah, that's right you better be thankful." He then noticed her sketchbook on the floor had flipped open to a page of him and he couldn't help smiling, maybe another night he would question her about that, but for now he decided she didn't need any more questions to deal with and just kept her in a tight hug.

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Like it? Hate it? I always tend to mix happy with sad, does it work or is it too much flip-flopping between emotions? Let me know what you think!

I could use some direction since right now I'm making things up as I go since my outline has mysteriously vanished from my hard drive. Why technology why?