Chapter 7
When Snow got outside of the bar she found a crying and sobbing Regina leaned against her car. She quickly made her way closer to her. She softly involved her in her arms and she was quite surprised when Regina didn't fight against her embrace. "Come Regina, let's get you home." Regina nodded unable to talk in between so many sobs.
The drive to the mansion was silent. Snow walked Regina to her front door and followed her to her bedroom. Once in there Regina went to the bathroom and when she came back, she was already dressed in her silk pajamas and ready to go to bed but the tears refused to stop falling. Regina got in bed and Snow, just like a mother would tucked her in.
"No one has ever done that to me." Regina said in a low voice "Thank you."
"Regina, are you going to be ok?" Snow asked worried.
"I will, don't worry."
At hearing those words Snow was totally convinced that Regina was definitely not going to be alright "Do you want me to stay with you?"
Regina was stunned to hear that offer and her first reaction was "Nonsense, I'm not a child Snow White."
Snow shook her head and walked towards the door. At that moment Regina was absolutely sure that she didn't want to be alone "Stay." She said sitting on her bed.
Snow stopped and turned back and for the first time Regina allowed her to see how scared she really was and it broke Snow's heart. She slowly sat on the bed besides Regina and pulled the older woman's head down, so she would lie on top of her legs. As soon as Regina was lying comfortably Snow began playing with her hair.
"Why can't she understand that I can't be with her?" Regina asked the younger woman.
"She understands Regina, she just doesn't accept it. You know this is really hard for me, she's my daughter and you, well I'm trying to form a new friendship with you and it hurts me to see how much both of you are suffering."
"I'm just trying to protect her Snow, I can promise you that."
"I know Regina, but that doesn't make things easier. Why don't you allow yourself to be happy even if it only lasts a day, an hour?" Snow really wanted to know.
"Because as soon as my mother arrives Emma will be her first target simply because I'm in love with her and I just can't watch her rip Emma's heart out and squeeze it until it turns to dust like she did with Daniel, it'll kill me Snow, I can't go through that again, I can't." her tears kept on falling, there was no way she could stop them.
"Haven't you taken into consideration that maybe Emma is willing to sacrifice her heart for you?"
"It's difficult for me to accept that, no one ever cared for me enough to save me from my mother before, not even my father stopped her abuse, so why would anyone else be willing to do that for me?"
"She's willing to do it because she loves you Regina and no matter what you do, that won't change."
"I can't let her do that Snow, I just can't, I'm not worth her sacrifice." and those were the last words the two exchanged that night.
Meanwhile at the bar Kathryn and Ruby were trying to stop a really heartbroken Emma from getting totally wasted.
"Emma, that's enough." Kathryn said in a firm tone and took away the blonde's fourth glass of whiskey.
"I just want to numb this pain inside my chest." Emma said between tears.
"Emma, that's not the way." Ruby told her and quickly added "You saw her on that stage, she sang her heart out, you're so close, don't throw it all away now."
"You're right. Do any of you have any paper and a pen?" both women looked at one another confused but Kathryn gave her what she requested and the blonde immediately began writing. Once she was finished she turned to Kathrin.
"Can you please give these note to Regina first thing in the morning?" she asked seriously.
"Of course, don't worry I will."
"Let's just go home." Ruby said.
It was 7:30am when Kath came to Regina's house. Snow was the one that opened the door and that left the blonde woman a little shocked. "Good morning Snow."
"Good morning Kathryn. What are you doing here so early in the morning?" Snow asked confused.
"Well I came to do your daughter a favor and deliver this note to Regina. Is she awake too?"
"No, she's still sleeping but I can give it to her when she wakes up if you want me to."
"Ok, take good care of it, Emma told me it was really important."
"Don't worry I'll deliver it safe and sound to the respective owner of it." Snow said with a smile. Both women said their goodbyes and Snow returned to the kitchen where she was preparing breakfast.
Almost forty minutes later Regina showed up at the kitchen. She served herself a cup of coffee and took a sip from it. "Thank you for staying."
"You're welcome."
"You didn't have to make me breakfast."
"I know I didn't, I just wanted to. I can't stay and eat with you, I promised to have breakfast with David and after that I'm bringing back Henry."
"Thank you, once again. You can go, don't make him wait."
Snow finished cleaning the few utensils she had used to make breakfast and quickly dressed her coat and grabbed her purse. Before she left the kitchen she stopped in front of Regina "Here" She said delivering her the note "This came in very early this morning for you. Have a good day Regina." And with a smile she left.
As she took the note on her hand she almost stopped breathing but she managed to wish Snow a good day too. She ate a pancake real quick and ran to her room with the note in her hand, she wanted to read it in the comfort of her sheets.
Regina,
A kiss as three lives:
The one that is born on the soul of who gives it;
The one that stays on the heart of who receives it;
The one that remains on the memory of the one that loved receiving it.
Beautiful let your heart be your compass when you're lost, follow it wherever it may go. In the end, when all is said and done, you can walk instead of run. Because no matter what may come, you will never be alone.
Love,
Emma
"Emma if I followed my heart you would be right here with me and we would be lost in each other's arms." She hugged her pillow and let the tears fall until the tiredness won and she fell asleep.
When Henry got home there was no sign of his mother on the ground floor of the house, so he made his way up the stairs and into her room. Once there he found a crying mom with her back to the bedroom door, hugging her pillow like she was holding for dear life itself. He was so used to seeing her be strong and decided, her mere figure could scare anyone that dared to stand in her way, but now he was faced with his mom's vulnerable side, the one she hides from everyone, the one she considers to be her weakness but that in reality it's what makes her human just like everyone else.
He slowly approached her bed and she only felt his presence when he sat in her bed and pulled her closer to him, he simply forced her to lie on top of his legs so he could caress her hair, like she used to do to him when he was smaller. She tried to clean her tears away but they were as stubborn as she was because they kept on falling.
"Henry I don't want you to see me like this." She said in a low voice.
"Why? You don't want me to see you as weak?"
"Yes, I don't want you to see me weak and broken. Because that's what I am right now."
"You're not weak, you're human and you are allowed to have feelings and share them." He said so seriously that she began thinking when had he grown up so much.
"Henry, I…" he interrupted her.
"Mom, I just want you to be happy and not sad and crying all the time and maybe accepting Emma will be what finally makes you happy." He said.
This time she sat on her bed and looked at her son "Sweetie if I let her in my life she will be in danger and I can't do that, do you understand me?"
"I do. But don't you see that she will put herself in danger even more if she is not with you?" He looked so serious and that made Regina realize that he was definitely wiser, more than he should be at his age.
"Honey…" he didn't let her finish, he simply jumped out of the bed and left her alone in her room. She was shocked, she never expected her son to be able to that again, not after all they had gone through in the past.
The rest of the day Regina spent it in an almost permanent state of numbness. She was so tired, she was so sick of being lonely and unhappy. The walls of her room seemed to be shrinking, confining her even more in her deep state of loneliness, her heart felt like it was being squeezed, she couldn't breathe properly. So she jumped out of bed and ran to her garden, she needed to be outside, she needed to feel free, she needed to feel the wind hit her skin and make her once again feel alive.
It was starting to rain but the brunette didn't move, she remained in the same place standing in the rain, feeling each drop of water hit her face, it made her feel alive. Soon it began pouring, she was already completely drenched, her body was shivering, she was so cold but it didn't matter, that wasn't important, she just simply wanted to feel something, so she stayed in the middle of her garden letting the rain clean her soul and wash away the ache in her heart.
"Mom." Henry screamed from the backdoor "Mom come inside, you're going to get sick." She didn't react and it scared him. He called her a few more times and beginning to cry he ran to the phone and decided to call his Ma.
"Sheriff Swan speaking."
"Ma I need your help, come home as fast as you can." He said hurriedly.
"Henry what's wrong?" she asked already grabbing her jacket and preparing to leave the station.
"It's mom, she's outside in the rain and she won't come in the house, she doesn't even answer to me." He said letting a tear fall down his face.
"Don't worry kid, I'll be right there." And she hung up the phone.
Emma drove as fast as she could, she parked the car and ran into the house. "Henry." She yelled "Henry where are you?"
"I'm at the house's backdoor." He screamed in response.
She ran to him and once she got there she saw the brunette standing still in the middle of the garden, her eyes looking up at the sky. "What the hell…" she whispered. She didn't stop to think she simply reacted, she left the house and ran to the brunette. When she got closer to her she was already soaking wet too.
"Regina what the fuck do you think you're doing?" she said shaking Regina by the shoulders. No reaction. "Come on let's go inside, you're going to get sick." She was becoming angry, Regina didn't react, she didn't even blink at her, so she grabbed her and placed her on top of her shoulder, carrying the brunette like a fireman would do and finally Regina spoke.
"Put me down." She screamed and at the same time she began punching Emma's back with her closed fists.
"No. I'll put you down once we're inside. What the hell were you thinking? You scared Henry, don't you at least care about him?" the blonde was furious, Regina was being selfish, she wasn't thinking of anything or anyone else besides her pain and that made Emma mad.
"I wasn't thinking, is that what you want to hear? Now put me down." She screamed once again.
Once Emma reached the kitchen she placed Regina down and talked to her with a hurt sounding voice "Go take a hot shower and then comfort your son, he is worried about you." And the blonde turned her back on Regina.
The brunette felt the tears forming in her eyes but she stopped them and ran to her room. She took off her wet clothes and entered the shower. Once inside it she let her tears fall, the sounds of her sobbing, muffled by the sounds of the falling warm water. Once she was finished she dressed another of her silk pajamas, she took one more look at herself in the mirror, the tears hadn't stopped but she didn't care anymore, she just wanted to sleep and forget. When she stepped inside her room she heard a voice speaking to her.
Henry was laying in her bed waiting for her to come out of the bathroom "You can't keep living like this." He said in a firm tone, making her body freeze, she thought she was alone.
"What do you mean Henry?" she asked, voice trembling, eyebrows rising in surprise and her head filled with confusion.
"You have to stop pushing Emma away because you're scared." He said with absolute certainty.
"Henry, things are not that simple…" he cut her off.
"Yes they are."
"Henry…" she sighed.
"Mom you're braver than that. You just need to choose to be happy and face your fears." He stood and came closer to her, hugging her by the waist "I love you mom."
"I love you too sweetheart." And she kissed the top of his head.
"Mom?"
"Yes dear?"
"Can I ask you one question and you promise to tell me the truth?" he asked hopefully.
"Of course sweetie, what do you want to know?" she had promised not to lie to him anymore, so she wouldn't lie, she would be truthful with him always.
He looked up at her without letting her go "Mom, do you love Emma?"
She blinked her eyes a couple of times, her son had aimed straight to her heart, she took a deep breath and answered him honestly "I do Henry, I am in love with Emma." He smiled widely at her but didn't say anything else, tightening his arms around her waist.
Breaking the embrace he smiled at her and delivered her a little note "Here, I guess you know what this is." She smiled and took the note, embracing her son once again.
Emma had gone up the stairs to call Henry for dinner but when she got there the door to Regina's room was a little ajar and she stood still listening to their conversation, she knew she shouldn't do it but she couldn't help herself and for the first time in so long she finally heard Regina admit that she loved her, she was so happy that she almost barged into the room. She took a moment to breathe and returned to the kitchen.
When Henry left her alone to go have some dinner, she laid in her bed and finally read the note from the blonde.
Regina,
I try to assess the beauty of the sun, the brightness of the stars, the strength of the wind, the charm of the rainbow but nothing compares to you because you are the only one for me.
Regina you can't run away forever. Everyone who loves is afraid to lose. I won't let the fear take you away from me.
With all my love,
Emma
In that Sunday morning Regina had promised to take Henry to spend the day with the Charming's, so she got up at 8am, got herself ready and went to wake her son. "Henry, sweetie, is time to get up I have to take you to your grandparents house."
He groaned a little and placed the pillow on top of his head. Regina smiled and pulled his covers down, making Henry sigh. "Ok, ok, I'm getting up."
"Good, I'll wait for you in the kitchen."
When she got there Emma was preparing herself some coffee "What are you doing here?" she asked surprised.
"Uhm…Henry didn't tell you?" was Emma's response.
"Obviously he didn't, so do you mind clarifying me then?"
"Oh, yeah, sure… the kid asked me to come and put together the structure of a house made of wood for his school theatre play." She answered while running a hand through her hair, her mind only repeating the words she had heard the previous night 'I love Emma' ringing inside her mind.
"Ohh…ok. I didn't know he was in charge of that but he is going to your parents house today shouldn't he be helping you?" she quirked an eyebrow.
"He should but I kinda lost a bet with him so I have to do it all on my own. At least he gave me the plans, he drew it himself." And she handed the brunette the design Henry had made.
She smiled "He really his talented."
"Yeah our kid is awesome." And both women smiled proud of their son.
"Mom, are you ready to go?" Henry yelled from the staircase.
"What about breakfast?" Regina asked him.
"Grandma promised to make me waffles."
She shook her head and kept her comment to herself "Well I'm going to take him now. Is there something you need for his project that you may need me to buy?"
"Oh, no thanks. I've got it all under control."
"Ok then. See you in an hour." And Regina left the kitchen, leaving behind the dizzying smell of her perfume.
When Regina returned home she went to the kitchen, she had decided to make a pie as a dessert for dinner thinking Henry would like it. As she cooked the words Snow had told her right after she had dropped off Henry kept replaying in her mind 'Regina when you love, you love with your whole soul, don't let anything hold you back'. She was so distracted that she didn't notice Emma's presence by the kitchen door until the blonde cleared her throat gaining her attention.
"Do you need something?"
"Yup, just a glass of water." And as she passed the brunette she joked "That thing you're doing looks weird."
"It's not weird, it's a pie, have you ever baked one Miss Swan?"
"No." she said grinning.
"Then you are not allowed to judge my cooking skills."
She placed her hands in the air, surrendering "Ok, ok." She drank her water and with one more glance towards the brunette she left the kitchen, being alone with Regina and not being able to touch her was torture.
Regina finished her pie and placed it on the oven what to do next? she thought. She decided to go change into something more comfortable and practical. As soon as she had changed she came to her living room and decided to watch some television while waiting for the pie to be ready.
Hope you all enjoyed this chapter and please forgive me for any mistakes that you might have found.
Please leave me your review and let me know what you think ;)
I promise that our girls are getting together in the next chapter, Emma as been waiting long enough ;P
