Thank you all for the feedback! I greatly appreciate it and will keep posting. :D
Chapter 7 – Moral of the story
Candy was anxious going back to the cube that evening. Stalling as long as she could before COs deliberately told her to get a back to bed for lights out. She found Gina already on her bed, lying on her stomach as she went over a chart. She rarely would lie propped up like that, so it looked a little off. Candy didn't say anything entering the cube, what was she going to say?
Hey thanks for telling Boo that there was something between us so she wouldn't hit on me. And by the way- is there something between us? Yeah that sounded stupid. There had to be a better way to ask.
Candy glanced her way once more, catching her gaze before shyly looking away like she hadn't meant to. Trying to pretend that the other woman hadn't been watching her, Candy tried to change into her night gown, switching her shirt before slipping out of her pants under the long dress. She couldn't help glancing back across the cube, but found Gina looking down again.
"So, great party, huh?" came out of Candy's mouth before she felt stupid for mentioning it.
"Yeah," Gina would look up then. "Sucks to see Mercy go- she was part of the family."
"The family?" Candy had a hunch that she knew what she was referring to, but she wasn't entirely sure who that encompassed.
"Yeah, you know- Reds the mom and she sort of looks out for the rest of us." Us being the white girls she took under her wing. Red was certainly the parental figure for a handful of the younger girls, known as her daughters. "Me, Nicky, Boo, Norma, Tricia, Morello, Mercy, you."
"Me?" a smile cracked then.
"Uh, yeah." Gina watched Candy sit on the other bunk. "You kind of just got in by default, but you're in."
"Oh,"
"Yup."
"Cool." If anything helped Candy feel a bit more relaxed in prison, it would be knowing that she was accepted by others and in 'the family'. Took away a bit of the feeling on her own in all of this. "How did you get in?" it wasn't where she really wanted to take the conversation, but it would keep Gina talking.
"When I got here, Red just sort of took me in. I didn't want to make friends or nothing so I wasn't like meshing with any groups or whatever." Candy had already picked up that races had smaller cliques in them. "And she knew that I actually did my shit- like worked hard. So she got me in the kitchen," she shrugged after that, dismissing the topic.
The COs called one minute until lights out, which made Candy feel like she had wasted time. "So you always got along with people like Norma and, uh- Big Boo?"
Gina's eyebrows rose on that name, as if picking up on the hint. "Kinda." she smirked. "Do you get along with people like Norma and Boo?"
"Well, Norma like never talks." Candy lowered her voice in the slim chance Norma would over hear the mention of her name.
"Yeah she does- just not to most people." Seeing that they worked so much together in the kitchen, Candy suspected that Gina would know more about Norma than anyone else.
"And Boo is- uh, well - I don't not get along with her."
"She's what?" Gina didn't let the first fumble go.
"Uh-" Candy got the hunch that this was a test, being sniffed out for something. There was a right and a wrong answer here. "Not my type."
Gina just nodded then, her gaze locked on Candy as if waiting for something else, but Candy didn't know what.
"So...yeah. Thanks for earlier."
"Yeah." Gina glanced down at the chart in front of her. "Any time."
"Has she ever does that to you?" A question Candy didn't need an answer to, but it kept the conversation going.
"No," Gina shook her head, looking down for a moment before her dark eyes looked over to her bunk mate. "Not my type."
And with that the lights turned off and the inmates went quiet. Gina set the charts on her locker and got under her covers without another word. Once again leaving Candy without any progress. Did any of that mean anything? This girl was nearly impossible to read. Granted it left the fluttering active in her stomach, but that wouldn't necessarily help her sleep across the cube from her that night.
Candy would then get some answers the next morning when Red pulled her to the side as soon as she entered the kitchen after breakfast to begin her shift. Candy had never been into Red's office and it wasn't nearly as private as one would like, but they worked with what they had.
Red had checked in on Candy, becoming far nicer and kinder than the first impression had left. It was because of her that Candy could sleep well at night and not worry that someone would shiv her or something. She grew thankful for the other woman and relayed the information to her parents in hopes it would benefit Red.
The woman with the bright red hair sat in her desk chair and crossed her arms. "These walls have eyes you know." it was the kind of start to a lecture that made Candy's stomach drop and immediately gave her nausea. Her cold blood made her feel as if she were in trouble. "And ears." Candy couldn't respond, or really speak. She didn't know what she had been caught doing so she couldn't defend herself just yet. Red really had a way to intimidate someone with just a glance; Candy felt so small. "Are you gay?"
Gay? Was this about Boo? "Uh- no." she fumbled. "I mean, sorta- I like- uh, girls, so yeah, kinda."
"If you are, you are- if you're not, well, some women here just become 'gay for the stay'- it helps us get by. Find companionship, comfort, release- I get it." At least her tone was soft as she explained this stance. "But you're not actually gay. When you leave here you will go back to your boyfriend and get married, have kids, and forget about this place." Red had hit the nail on the head. Ideally that was the game plan.
Red had paused, looked to Candy for a response, which Candy nodded, assuming that was the correct thing to do.
"Gina is gay." Red stated bluntly, causing Candy to really want to vomit now. The walls really must have eyes- or be full of snitches. She had probably confided in the wrong inmates that spread this secret. Did this mean that Gina knew? "I don't want you leading her on, I don't care who your parents are and what how much they've helped me- if you hurt her, more than just me will hurt you."
Candy stood there, shocked. Not sure what to say, wanting to cry because she felt as if she had done something wrong already. Had she done something wrong? She never said anything to Gina- only to others who she had been stupid enough to expect would keep their mouths shut. Not to mention she was mortified that someone had called her out on liking a girl. It wasn't that she didn't have crushes on girls, but she rarely, if ever, shared them and now she felt like everyone probably knew.
"I- uh-" she still felt frozen as she stood there. "I don't want to cause problems- it was just a, um, crush. We don't do anything or anything-she doesn't-"
"She's fond of you," hearing this come from Red in that thick Russian accent had a much deeper impact that Nichols' suspicions. "I can tell. I just don't want you -or her- getting involved in something that will leave her hurt." Red shook her head then, "Girls in here think that they are going to have that lasting relationship that even after they leave this place. They never do. I've been here long enough to see it all. Most don't even last more than a few months here." Red speaks with her hands now, waving them as she lists things, "Someone gets jealous, someone doesn't care as much as the other- Then girls get hurt."
So was the moral of the story to not even bother? Candy couldn't bring herself to ask that question. "Well I don't want to hurt anyone-" Not that she could help what she felt.
"Good." Red nodded, but took a long pause, seeming to consider something. "However she is happier – livelier than I've seen in a long while. Doing that little, smile-smirk she does." This even made Red smile before looking back at Candy. "That's not saying I'm okay with it, only that I do want you girls happy." She paused before narrowing her eyes. "Do we have an understanding?"
Candy nodded, having no idea what sort of understanding they had come to – was Red okay with her liking someone she considered a 'daughter'? Was she still wanting Candy to buzz off? Candy then had to go to her job scrubbing dishes pondering now what to do? This was getting far more complicated than just liking someone. Then again, when in prison, there isn't much else to occupy your time, or your mind. Of course it certainly didn't help when Gina would periodically bring her dishes and produce that 'smile-smirk' that Candy recognized right away.
