Chapter 7 Notes: Jeremy goes to his first college party. Thanks to the people who left me reviews on the last chapter. I appreciate you guys! Possible trigger warnings: drinking to excess, drugs, mention of domestic violence and past child neglect.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own obsession with Gilmore Girls.

Jeremy headed toward the door for some air. He felt overstimulated and too warm. He wouldn't say he was having a bad time exactly, but he needed a break from the loud voices, the even louder music, the claustrophobic crush of too many bodies jostling into each other in one apartment, all of it. The best thing he could say about being surrounded by people who were drunk or high or both was that even without touching a drink or a substance of any kind he felt his own social inhibitions lowered. It was easy to not worry about how you were coming across when the person you were talking to could barely focus on what you were saying.

Jeremy stepped out onto the stoop and found Jill sitting there, sipping from a red solo cup. She looked up when he approached, placing the cup down on the stoop next to her. "What drove you out here? The bad music, the bodies crashing down from failed attempts at keg stands, or the asinine conversation and pathetic attempts to get you into one of the bedrooms?"

Jeremy was caught off guard by her level of sobriety and hostility. His opening line was going to be, hey, it's Jill, right? "Oh, uh, no one was trying to get me into one of the bedrooms." He instantly felt foolish and almost missed talking to drunk people. He could tell he'd amused her without meaning to. She didn't exactly smile, but her expression softened a little around the mouth and eyes.

"It's Jeremy, right?" He nodded, still standing there staring at the girl. "I'm Jill."

"I remember."

Jill picked up her cup and scooted further to the side of the stoop. "You can sit down if you want. Or whatever."

"Ok. Thanks." Jeremy made sure to leave as much room as possible between them without falling off his edge of the stoop.

Jeremy turned toward Jill to find her studying him. "You seem pretty sober, Jeremy."

Jeremy smiled, hoping it would make her smile, too, and ultimately make her less intimidating. "I am. A hundred percent, actually."

"Interesting. I thought I was the only one who didn't drink at these things."

Jeremy involuntarily glanced down at the red plastic cup in her hands, balanced on one leg of her jeans. "This is sprite. If you don't hold something and look like you already have a drink, some loser guy will try to force one on you."

"Oh." Jeremy wasn't sure what to say to that.

"I'm not totally opposed to drinking or anything. And, I get it for Marty's brother and his friends. They go to Greenville State and they're either heading back to their dorm rooms or their own apartments. And, Marty's staying here tonight. But, I still live with my parents, so it's basically just another lame high school party for me. I can't exactly uber home and stumble in drunk at two a.m. And, I would never crash here like Marty suggested." She frowned. "I really hope Ashley doesn't want to either."

"I know what you mean." Jeremy said. "I live with my dad, and I can't go home drunk either. Or I guess I could. He told me to call him if I ended up drinking and he'd come get me, but I wouldn't want to put him out like that."

"Or deal with the passive-aggressive parental fallout the next day?" Jill asked, one side of her mouth curving up in the beginning of a smile.

Jeremy laughed. "Yeah, that, too."

"Don't you feel like it's weird going to college and trying to feel like an adult when we still live at home?"

Jeremy nodded even though he didn't agree. He couldn't think of any place he would rather live than at home with Jess and Winston, knowing Luke was right downstairs most of the time, his whole little family all safe and accounted for within a few blocks radius. But, he didn't feel comfortable saying that. He knew that would get a curious look and possibly questions and he really didn't want to get into his pitiful story with this girl he barely knew but wouldn't mind getting to know better. "Yeah, it can definitely make it difficult to feel like an adult." That wasn't a lie. Jeremy thought about Jess making them breakfast some mornings before class and work, calling him his good boy in his Winston voice, hugging him and kissing his head before bed. Those things did make it difficult to feel like an adult, but they made it easy to feel like he was finally someone's loved child and he hated thinking about a time when he wouldn't have them.

Jill sighed. "I really wanted to go away to school."

"Oh, yeah?" Jeremy asked. "What happened? How did you end up at WCC?" Jeremy knew he didn't really know this girl, but she seemed intelligent, both in biology class and now, and he couldn't picture her not being able to get into a state school.

She looked at him carefully, tucked one strand of brown hair behind her ear. "My dad lost his job and everything kind of went to shit after that. He wasn't going to be able to help me with four years of a state school and I was too scared to take out a ton of loans."

"I'm sorry." Jeremy said, and he was.

Jill shrugged. "I think money, or the lack thereof, is why most of us are at WCC. I don't think too many people dreamed about going to community college as little kids."

Jeremy nodded. She was right. It hadn't been his dream either, but he couldn't blame his enrollment at WCC on anyone else. He had made that choice for himself. "I actually chose to come here. My dad wanted to send me to one of the Penn States."

Jill looked truly baffled. "Why the fuck didn't you go?"

Jeremy laughed. "Honestly, I just…...didn't want to leave my dad."

Jill laughed, but it felt amused rather than mocking to Jeremy. "Wow. That really takes being a daddy's boy to a whole new level." She shook her head slowly, small smile on her face, then froze, raised one hand to her forehead. "Oh, god, I'm sorry! Is your dad sick or something and that's why you didn't want to leave him?"

Jeremy shook his head and smiled. "No, my dad's fine." He wanted to be honest, but not necessarily divulge his life story. He loved being able to casually throw out the term 'dad' and be understood, with no prying questions needed to further define his family situation. He shrugged. "I guess I just really love him and I didn't want to move away from him yet."

Jill grinned at him. "That's kind of sweet. Very odd, and a little suspicious, but kind of sweet."

Jeremy had been right. Jill was less intimidating when she smiled. And, pretty. He smiled back at her.

Jeremy heard the door behind them open with a crash and a cacophony of music and loud voices rushed out of the apartment. Jeremy and Jill both turned to look over their shoulders. Ashley stood in the doorway in an impossibly small tank top and equally tight jeans. "Jilly-bean, there you are!" Her grin was broad and slightly unfocused, before her face shifted. "Ugh!" She moaned. "I don't feel so good….." Jeremy watched Ashley rush past him down the steps, one hand clutched to her stomach, not getting more than a few feet from where Jeremy was sitting before bending forward and vomiting in the grass. Jeremy instinctively pulled his feet up a step to avoid any backsplash.

Jill let out an annoyed sigh and chucked her cup of sprite onto the grass as she stood up. "For fuck's sake. I knew I should have called the cops on this party half an hour ago." Jeremy sat stupefied for a moment. He watched Jill walk over to Ashley, rubbing her back, pushing her hair out of her face, and trying to keep the girl from kneeling in her own mess.

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Jeremy spent the next hour outside with Jill and Ashley. Jeremy had run inside to get Ashley a cup of water and then hosed down the vomit as best he could while Jill sat with Ashley on the stoop, the drunk girl's head on her shoulder. He sat with them for a while as they waited for Ashley to sober up a bit before Jill took her home. Jill told him he could go back inside if he wanted, that she appreciated his help, but she didn't want to drag his night down, but Jeremy had assured her that she wasn't, that he would rather be outside with her than inside with everyone else. That had earned Jeremy another smile. They sat talking quietly about school and what they wanted from their futures. Their pasts didn't come up much, aside from a couple of funny stories from Jill about Ashley's drunken behavior at high school parties. Jeremy wondered if this was how conversation would go now that he was an adult, with people more interested in his future plans than his past. He liked it. Once Ashley seemed a little more with it, Jeremy helped Jill get the girl into the passenger seat of her car. Jill closed the door and started to walk around to the driver's side. "So, thanks for your help tonight, Jeremy. It was really nice talking to you."

"You too." Jeremy could feel the wide smile on his face. "I'm glad I ran into you out here. I had a really nice night."

"Jilly-bean!" Ashley called out her open window. "Let's go! I'm tired."

Jill rolled her eyes gently and Jeremy laughed. "You're a really good friend." He kept his voice low, his words only for Jill. "I hope she appreciates you."

Jill scoffed. "I'm really not. She's my step-sister. My idiot father and her stupid mother stuck us with each other when we were twelve, so I don't really have a choice."

"Jilly-bean!" Ashley's drew out each syllable, her voice that of a petulant child. Jeremy laughed again.

"Keep your fucking shirt on, Ash, I'm coming!" Jill yelled toward the car, then turned back to Jeremy. "I really hope she's done puking. I borrowed my boyfriend's car for this and puke is a bitch to get out of upholstery."

Jeremy watched the girl get in the car and drive off, feeling his heart sinking a little at knowing Jill was already with someone. He had let his hopes stir up as the night had worn on, thinking this could be the start of something, and he felt himself coming down a little now from that high, feeling a little lower than he had before talking to Jill. He was ready to head home, too. He felt his jean pocket, where he still had the vape pen that Marty had pressed upon him earlier in the night to help him sleep, along with a small baggie containing a few pills of something called diazepam, which Marty had told him to only use on really rough nights when he couldn't deal and needed to pass the fuck out for real. These were all free because he was friends with Marty, but if Jeremy wanted refills, he would need to buy them from Marty's brother, Sean. Jeremy figured he would try the pot first the next time Jess slept out, and only take one of the pills if he got desperate.

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Jess felt the light on the other side of his closed eyelids, and a familiar clicking sound rousing him from sleep. He opened his eyes to the sight of Winston greeting Jeremy at the door, the dog's usual excitement slightly dampened by the late hour. "Hey, Jeremy." Jess's voice was hoarse, and his head felt a little fuzzy at having been jarred out of his nap. His neck hurt from how he had fallen asleep on the couch with a book.

Jeremy looked over with a start at his voice. "Oh, sorry!" Jeremy lowered his voice after his initial surprise. "I didn't realize you were out here. Want me to turn the light back off?"

"No, that's ok. I'm up. I should head to bed." Jess pulled himself up into a sitting position, watching his son pet the dog. "You have a good time?"

Jeremy shrugged. "I guess. I mean, it was ok."

"You drunk?" Jess tried to keep the question playful.

Jeremy laughed. "No. I didn't drink."

"Huh." Jess liked the sound of 'ok' and the mediocrity it indicated, the lack of crazy, drunken shenanigans it seemed to denote. "It must have been at least a little fun if you stayed out this late." Jess picked up his phone from the coffee table, pushed a button and looked at the screen. It was two-twenty.

Jeremy laughed. "Yeah, it was good, I guess. You really didn't have to wait up for me, you know?"

Jess scoffed exaggeratedly, as if at the absurdity of the idea. "Um, we were hardly waiting up for you. Winston and I were both just lying around reading and we fell asleep on the couch." Jess turned to Winston who had trudged back over to his dog bed and flopped down. He jerked a thumb toward Jeremy as he spoke, his voice playful. "Get a load of this guy, Winston. Always thinking everything's all about him." He turned back to Jeremy who was smiling fondly at him. "All right, now that you're home safe, I'm going to bed." Jess felt himself grimace involuntarily at the stiffness in his back as he got to his feet. "I'm way too old to sleep on the couch. Everything hurts."

"Huh." Jeremy stood in the center of the living room, a smirk playing on his lips. "Then maybe you should have gone to bed instead of waiting up for your mature and responsible son."

"Maybe, I should have." Jess took the handful of steps required to close the gap between them. He wrapped Jeremy in a hug and raised a hand to the boy's head, gently tipping it down so he could drop a kiss on the side, holding onto his kid for longer than he normally did for a goodnight hug. "But, this right here, makes me glad I didn't. We don't see each other enough these days. You've only been in college a few weeks and you've already forgotten all about me."

Jess felt Jeremy laugh into his shoulder before the boy pulled away. "Uh, should I be asking you if you're drunk?"

Jess clasped a hand on Jeremy's shoulder, to remain in contact with his son and keep the boy from running off too quickly. "No, smartass. I just miss my kid."

"We could hang out tonight, if you want. After I finish my shift at work and get my history paper done. Maybe we could make dinner and play Scrabble or watch a movie."

Jess wanted to say yes for multiple reasons, but he didn't. He gently kneaded Jeremy's shoulder to soften the rejection. "I can't tonight. I have that dinner with Mallory's parents."

Jeremy frowned. "Oh, yeah. I forgot about that."

"You could still change your mind and come with me. She did invite you, too." Jess liked the idea of Jeremy getting to know Mallory's family along with him. He could already see a future where their families were combined and he wanted Jeremy to feel included from the start. He didn't want to leave Jeremy on the outside while he and Mallory further immersed themselves in each other's lives.

"I know, but I have stuff to do for school. I'll just hang out here with Winston."

"Ok, if you're sure." Jess had been a little disappointed when Jeremy had turned down Mallory's invitation. He thought it had been very considerate of Mallory's parents to extend the invitation to Jeremy, as well, and he had wanted to take them up on it.

"I'm thinking you meeting her parents might be awkward enough without you bringing your kid with you."

"Hey, they would love to meet you. Mallory's told them about you and they specifically invited you, too."

Jeremy looked uncomfortable, and Jess decided to stop pushing. "That was really nice of them, but I think it would be weird." Jeremy smirked. "I don't want to be in the way when they're grilling you about not being good enough to date their daughter."

"Wow, thanks for the encouragement, kid." The comment brought Jess back to his first dinner with Charisse's relatives, another family in which everyone held some form of postgraduate degree and was engaged in a professional career and no one had seemed too enthusiastic about Charisse dating a non-college educated white guy. He felt confident that he had won over Charisse's mother as their relationship went on, but the start had been rocky. Having an education and a decent job are big things to parents. He understood that now better than ever. He wasn't sure whether being enrolled in community college at thirty-four would work for him or against him.

Jeremy huffed out a laugh. "Are you going to stay at Mallory's after?" The question seemed to make Jeremy sad even as he asked it, and watching the boy's smile falter made Jess sad, too.

He cupped the back of the boy's neck, rubbing his thumb along the base of his skull. "That was the plan, but I don't have to if you need me at home."

Jeremy scoffed and shook his head, irritation briefly visible on his face. "I don't need you here. I was just wondering…." Jeremy trailed off.

Jess knew they should both go to bed, but he wasn't willing to give up this time with Jeremy just yet. "You hungry? You want me to make you some eggs or something?"

Jeremy shook his head again. "Thanks, but I'm ok. And, I should really get to sleep. So should you if you want to make a good impression on Mallory's parents."

Jess nodded. "I think you might be right." He took a step back from Jeremy, releasing him. He watched the boy walk into the bathroom to get ready for bed. "Goodnight, son." It felt obvious and unsubtle and desperate.

"Goodnight, Dad." The response felt more pavlovian than heartfelt. Jess sighed as he watched the bathroom door close behind Jeremy, then headed to bed himself.

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"You ok, Jeremy?" Jeremy could hear the concern in Luke's voice without looking up. They were opening the diner, or more accurately, Luke was opening the diner while Jeremy was sitting with his elbows propped up on a table, head resting in his hands. He hadn't gotten to bed until after two-thirty, and he was exhausted. He hadn't needed to take a hit from the vape pen because the comfort of knowing Jess was home had been enough to get him to sleep, not that the few hours of sleep he had gotten seemed to matter now at five-forty-five in the morning.

He heard Luke's footsteps drawing near and he raised his head to see the man standing by the table, looking down with a worried expression on his face. "You feeling sick, nephew?" Before Jeremy could respond, he felt the back of Luke's hand on his forehead, searching for signs of a fever.

Jeremy didn't pull away. "I'm ok. I'm sorry. I'm just tired. I got home pretty late last night."

"Oh, yeah? Jess said you went to a party with a friend from school." The worry wasn't totally gone from Luke's face, and Jeremy realized that as far as Luke was concerned, he had just replaced one reason for concern with another. "You, uh, have a good time?"

Jeremy nodded. "Yeah. I did." Jeremy stood up from his chair and continued with what he had been doing before he had sat down to rest, taking the upside-down chairs off the tables where they'd spent the night and setting them on the floor right side up.

Luke headed back toward the counter. "So, was there drinking at this party?"

Jeremy huffed out a laugh. "Yeah, there was. But, I didn't drink. I mostly sat outside talking to this girl from one of my classes. Or two girls, actually."

"Oh, yeah? Were they drinking?" Luke was setting up the cash drawer with change from the safe.

"One of them was pretty trashed." Jeremy laughed at Luke's reaction as the man looked up from what he was doing with a disapproving expression. "But, the one I was talking to the most wasn't drinking at all."

"Really?" Luke sounded impressed.

"Really, Uncle Luke." Jeremy was slowing making progress through the dining room. He smiled at his uncle. "Not all college kids are a bunch of drunks, you know."

"Hey, I didn't go to college so I'll take your word." Luke smiled. "Though I can't say I really care about what other college kids are doing. I just don't want you getting into trouble with that stuff, drinking and everything."

"I won't." Jeremy smiled reassuringly. "I'm too serious about school for that."

"Good. That's good to hear, nephew." Luke gave him a warm smile and Jeremy felt himself soaking it in. "And, are you ok with keeping these hours, with opening on the weekends like this? I can ask the other servers and see if someone wants to switch with you, if you want. If you're going to be going out more, like this."

"I'm good with opening. I like having most of my afternoon free to study or hang out with Jess. I'm sorry I'm such a waste of space this morning, but I'm really not looking to make this a regular thing or anything."

"Ok. Well, you let me know if we need to switch anything up, ok?"

"Ok. Thanks, Uncle Luke." Jeremy had weaved his way back to the counter. "Is it ok if I grab a cup of coffee before we open?"

Luke shot Jeremy a disapproving look. "Since when do you drink coffee?"

Jeremy shrugged. "I don't, but I thought this morning might be a good time to start, like it might help perk me up for my shift. So, can I grab one?" Jeremy stepped behind the counter and headed over to the coffee maker that had just finished brewing the first pot of the day.

"No way, nephew. You're too young to drink coffee."

Jeremy laughed and looked toward Luke expecting the man to be smirking at him, his response a joke, but Luke looked serious as he finished counting the stack of cash in his hand, and jotted down a note on the back of an order slip. "Are you serious?" Jeremy asked.

"That I am." Luke started counting the next stack of bills. "You want to wake up, go grab yourself a glass of orange juice. That'll help. I'm not going to be your caffeine supplier and start you down that path."

Jeremy still wasn't sure if Luke was kidding him. "What path? What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about my wife, my step-daughter, that path. Lorelai was a coffee junky long before I met her, and we weren't together yet when Rory started drinking coffee at fifteen, so I had no say over her getting addicted, too. But, you, it's not too late for you, nephew. I still have a chance with you. And, I say you're too young for coffee."

"C'mon, Uncle Luke." Jeremy said, laughing but a little touched by the concern. "I'm an adult. I'm eighteen. That's old enough to vote for a candidate for political office and join the military." The boy laughed. "It's probably old enough to be a candidate for political office in some jurisdictions."

Luke laughed. "Yeah? Ok. I'll serve you a coffee when you've won your first election or come home from your first tour of duty. How's that sound?"

Jeremy huffed out a laugh. It seemed silly to him, but he backed away from the coffee maker anyway, unwilling to do something that Luke was so against. He saw lots of kids at college carrying around lattes and flavored coffees, setting the cardboard to-go cups on their desks during class. "Lots of kids at school drink coffee."

"Lots of kids at school drink alcohol, too. What's your point?"

Jeremy smiled. "You do know I could always just buy a coffee somewhere else."

Luke finished counting another stack and scribbled the amount down with a pencil. "Hey, I hear Weston's makes a nice cup."

"Or, I could make my own coffee in the coffee pot upstairs."

Luke smiled. "You could, nephew, but that won't have anything to do with me. I don't drink coffee. Not every adult does. Some of us are able to function just fine without the chemical dependency on caffeine. It's a vicious cycle. You get hooked on coffee, your nervous system gets overstimulated, you're wired all day and your natural biorhythms get out of whack, you don't sleep well at night, then you're so tired the next morning that you need more coffee and you start the whole process all over again until you turn into my wife and step-daughter." Jeremy laughed and Luke smiled at the boy. "I'm serious. You should see some of the stuff those two do in the middle of the night because they can't sleep. And, I'm not just talking about being up with Leelee or anything normal like that. I'm talking about being wide awake tap dancing at two a.m., or shopping online for crap they don't need, or Lorelai leaving herself voicemails at the inn about stuff she's worried she'll be too tired to remember the next day. Once, I heard this crash and I jumped out of bed thinking someone had broken in, right?" Luke had half-turned from the register toward Jeremy, talking animatedly now. "I go downstairs and it's Lorelai. She's too wired to sleep so she thought she'd put up new curtain rods in the kitchen, but she slips where she's kneeling on the counter and bam, one end of one rod crashes right through the kitchen window. Then, she's a zombie the next morning until she's had at least five cups of coffee to get her going. It's too late for her, my friend, but you don't need that crap in your life. Believe me." Luke paused, as though realizing the unintended rant he had gone on. He looked at Jeremy, sheepish smile on his face. "But, hey, as you pointed out, you're an adult and you're going to do what you want to do, and you know where the coffee is." Luke tilted his head back to indicate the coffee maker behind him. "But, as your uncle who loves you, I'm just giving you my two cents for what it's worth. Do with it what you will."

Jeremy laughed and grabbed the tray of rolled silverware from below the counter before heading back into the dining room. "Ok. You win." Jeremy said as he passed behind Luke. "I don't need coffee anyway. It was just a thought. I'll get some orange juice after I'm done with the dining room."

"Hey, Tom Brady doesn't drink coffee! Never touched a drop in his life." Luke called after him, barely contained laughter in his voice. "Hasn't held that guy back any, has it? Think about that, huh." Jeremy smiled as he started setting the tables. He thought about Jill calling him a daddy's boy last night for not wanting to leave home for college, and how it hadn't really bothered him. He knew this was something else that he should resent, that most kids his age would, having a parent or uncle putting restrictions on his behavior, trying to control him in some way, but to Jeremy, it was just one more aspect of having a family that made him feel loved and cared for. He supposed he could live without coffee. He had made it this far without it.

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"So, Mallory's going to come with us to the Renaissance Faire on Sunday. She actually says she's looking forward to it, that she's excited to meet Liz and TJ. I tried to warn her about them, but she wasn't hearing it, so we'll see how it goes." Jess smiled at his son. He had had dinner at Mallory's parents' house the night before, and afterward she had asked about meeting his mother, and the fair, though embarrassing in its own right, had seemed like the lesser of two evils when he considered having Mallory over to dinner at Liz and TJ's as his other option. He couldn't picture Liz and TJ behaving as civilized and normal as Mallory's parents had, making him feel welcome and getting to know him without being invasive, and he figured that at least at the fair, they would be preoccupied with working and selling jewelry and would only have a limited amount of time to interact with Mallory and show off their lack of boundaries by asking inappropriate personal questions and being themselves.

Jeremy was frowning at him across the dinner table as he chewed a forkful of brown rice and swallowed. "I'm not sure what you think Liz and TJ are going to do, but I'm sure it will be fine. They really care about you and they won't want to embarrass you in front of your girlfriend."

Jess chuckled. "Oh, you think so, do you?"

"I do." Jeremy's expression was serious. "I think sometimes you underestimate them."

"Oh, yeah?" Jess raised an eyebrow at his son. "Remember the first time you met them? I took my eyes off you guys for one second and my mother had your forehead pressed up against hers, trying to read your aura or chakra or some shit like that."

The boy smiled. "Oh, yeah. I forgot about that."

"And, TJ couldn't get your name right. He kept calling you Jason or Justin, or anything but Jeremy, and he made an off-color joke about me getting arrested for molesting you."

Jeremy laughed. "They do make an interesting first impression, I'll give you that much. But, I think they'll be better with Mallory, don't you?"

"I certainly hope so. I'm also hoping that Liz is too busy hawking her jewelry to spend much time with us. I'd like to ease Mallory into the crazy that is my mother slowly."

Jess speared a small floret of roasted broccoli with his fork. When he looked up, Jeremy was studying him carefully. "What? You think I'm being mean?"

Jeremy shrugged. "I just think you don't give her enough credit. She's your mom and she loves you. She just wants to be in your life. I think sometimes you turn her into more of a crazy cartoon in your head than she really is. I mean, yeah, she's pretty out there. And, I'm not saying that all the stuff she talks about is normal or anything. She definitely does her own thing. But, I think she cares about you and wants to make up for who she was when you were younger."

Jess stared at his son. The criticism rankled, but he knew he needed to moderate his response because he was talking about his son's grandmother and he didn't want to prove Jeremy right, that he was an asshole about his mother. But, the idea that Jeremy was supporting Liz not him ignited a small spark of anger. He felt that Jeremy should always be on his side, the same way Jess was always on Luke's. "I understand what you're saying, but it's not easy for me to get over who she was when I was younger. I get that it's hard to understand from your point of view because by the time you came along, Liz was a very different person than she was for most of my childhood. She didn't always treat me very well when I was kid, or do the kind of things that mothers are supposed to do for their kids."

Jeremy nodded. "I get that. She's told me the same thing. That she wasn't a very good mother to you. I know she regrets it and she wants a second chance, but I don't feel like you've given her one. At least, not a real one."

Jess could feel his annoyance growing at the boy's accusatory tone. "How can you say that to me? I am giving her a second chance. Right now, since we've been back in Stars Hollow, this is the best that she and I have ever been together. I've spent time with her, taken you over there, asked you to call her Grandma because she wanted you to, invited her to your graduation, your birthday dinner, my birthday dinner, my events at the bookstore. How the hell does that not constitute giving her a second chance?" Jess could feel himself getting worked up and tried to reign his emotions in.

"Are you serious?" Jess didn't appreciate the boy's condescending tone, or the expression on his face that told Jess he thought he was talking to someone particularly obtuse.

"I'm asking, aren't I?" Jess could hear the hostility seeping into his own voice, making his words jagged around the edges.

The boy huffed out a breath. "Yeah, like you do stuff with her sometimes, but if you were honestly giving her a second chance, you wouldn't be sitting here making comments about how you need to warn your girlfriend about her, or that you hope she's too busy on Sunday to get to talk to Mallory." Jess could feel real anger now, knew it was likely reflected in his own expression. "What?" Jeremy asked, the question a challenge. "I'm not wrong, am I? I don't think you realize what you have, that even though Liz messed up when you were a kid, back when she was a young, single mother probably doing the best she could, she's willing to keep trying now because she loves you and wants your relationship to be good. I would give anything to have my mom in my life right now." It hit Jess that he himself, Jeremy's adoptive father, was likely one of the things the boy would give up if it meant he could get his mother back.

Jess took a breath. "I know you would. I get that your mom is the most important person to you, Jeremy. I understand that. And, that you shouldn't have had to live the life you did as a kid. You should have gotten to have your mom for your whole childhood, loving you and taking care of you the way you deserved. I'm sorry you didn't get that. But, things aren't so black and white. Liz wasn't just a mother who didn't baked cookies or make it to basketball games. She was a drunk and an addict who routinely chose her vices and her boyfriends over me. She was out all hours of the night, sometimes she'd fall asleep in her own vomit, sometimes she'd come home with random men. Some of her boyfriends and husbands would hit me and she'd let them. There were so many nights that I went to bed hungry because she wasn't around to grocery shop or she didn't have money for food after buying beer and drugs or whatever. She left me alone for two nights one time when I was in third grade because she was off getting high somewhere and apparently forgot she had a son. Those things don't just disqualify her from being mother of the year, they're criminal. They're the kind of negligence that could have landed me in fucking foster care right next to you if any of my teachers or neighbors had been paying better attention or given enough of a shit to call the cops." Jess was aware of Winston's toenails tapping the floor as the dog approached the table to investigate, unaccustomed to raised voices and hostility. Jess watched Jeremy lower a hand to soothe the dog without breaking eye contact.

"I get that." Jeremy spoke slowly, emphasizing each word. "I'm sorry you went through that, and I get that it sucked. My parents weren't perfect either. My father threw my mother down the stairs and killed her." Jeremy's voice cracked slightly, but his expression remained firm. "I was too young to know what was going on, but the older I get, the more I think it probably wasn't the first time he was violent. Maybe my mother stayed with a violent person and let him be around her kid, too. That wouldn't have been a good decision. It would have possibly been negligent, too, or child endangerment, or whatever. But, if she was around today, if either of my parents were around today, even if my father were alive after killing my mom, if he was sorry and he loved me and he wanted to be in my life, I would give him a second chance. A real one. You don't know what it's like to not have a biological parent in your life. I get that Liz was terrible, that she was probably criminally negligent when you were a kid. That sucks, but I'm guessing it had a lot to do with the drugs and drinking-"

"Do not make excuses for her behavior, Jeremy!" Jess's tone came out more agitated than he wanted, his voice raised and angry.

"I'm not! I'm just saying that they played a role in how she was, and she's not doing those things anymore. She's nice now. And, I just…...I don't know. I guess I just think you should give her a real second chance. Or at least not mock her the way you do when she's trying her best."

Jess paused, taking a deep breath, annoyed to be on the familiar ground of having to defend his relationship with his mother to someone he felt should be on his side. He reflected on how, even though he knew Jeremy loved him more than he did Liz, the boy, like Luke, had still managed to end up on Liz's side of this battle. Liz's constant ability to garner sympathy astonished him. "Look, I appreciate how much you miss your mother, Jeremy, but please don't lecture me on how I should deal with mine, ok? You don't have a fucking clue what my childhood was like and my relationship with my mother isn't any of your business."

Jeremy frowned, his expression more hurt and apprehensive than angry. "Sorry. I wasn't trying to lecture you. I just feel bad when you put her down. Could you at least not do it around me? It makes me feel bad for both of you."

"I'll try not to make fun of her anymore. You're not wrong about that. I may never be able to completely get past everything with her, but I shouldn't be picking on her, either. How's that?"

"Ok." Jeremy said. "Can I ask you one more thing?"

"What is it?" Jess resigned himself to extending this conversation when he really wanted it to be over.

"What if I ever did something, like something really shitty. Would you still love me and give me a second chance or would you be done with me because I messed up?" The boy looked genuinely curious and it pulled at something in Jess's heart. But, he understood the question and how it might be hard for Jeremy to believe that Jess would be able to forgive his son for a serious offense when he was having so much trouble moving past his own mother's transgressions.

"That's different, Jeremy. You're my child. It's different with your child." Jess tried to block out Jeremy saying that he would give his biological father another chance if the man were still alive and in the picture. "There's nothing you could ever do that would make me stop loving you. But, some things are hard to get around. If you had a child of your own and I saw you treat that child the way Liz used to treat me…...I wouldn't stop loving you, but it might be tough for me to still like you."

Jeremy nodded. "I'm sorry for upsetting you."

Jess felt himself exhale. "It's fine. Can we please talk about something other than my mother now?"

The boy nodded, looking contrite and Jess wondered how this conversation had gotten so off course. He had been looking forward to this dinner all day, and he didn't want to let talk of Liz derail this time with his son. "So, what did you write about for this week's essay?"