A/N: Here's the summary for all the people too lazy to read last chapter. In Part Six, Roy interviewed Pit. Everyone expected Roy to hate Pit because he was in Brawl; they expected Roy to be really mean and attack Pit. However, Roy actually liked Pit because they had a lot in common. (They both crashed Samus' ship and had to face her wrath.) Roy invited Pit to join him on the Dark Side (which is actually the Light Side because Mewtwo's team is the Dark Side.) Pit accepted Roy's offer despite Ike, Marth, and Link fervently trying to get him to say know. There are now two teams – Marth's team and Roy's team. Also, Sheeda, Elincia (Ike's girlfriend), Lilina, and Zelda all got in a giant brawl because of something they did to another's boyfriend. Seeing that Young Link like Young Midna, Roy has an epiphany, temporarily halting the world. (He has his moments.) He reasons that since Young Link likes Midna more than Zelda, Link must like Midna more than Zelda. (Young Link = Link) This actually makes a lot of sense. After much arguments (and Midna and Zelda teaming up to take care of Ruto), all the Zelda characters decide to go to Dr. Phil's to solve their problems…again. (Don't ask me why they went a first time.) Young Link also began a polygamy sect with all the Young Zelda girls. (Yes I know this is long, but I'm done now.)

Celticskyedancer: Wow Pit, you're really good at Speed.

Pit: Thanks.

Ike: Semicolon capital D ;D

Roy: Semicolon capital O ;O

Ike: Semicolon zero ;0

Roy: Colon zero :0

Celticskyedancer: They know a lot of smileys.

Pit: Yeah.

MH: We're on in five.

Part Seven: Captain Falcon

Roy: Eight capital D 8D

Ike: Eight capital P 8P

Roy: Eight number sign 8#

Ike: Eight capital x :X

Roy: X can't be used as a mouth.

Ike: Sure it can; like in "my lips are sealed."

Roy: Oh…eight, zero 80

Ike: Eight closed parenthesis. 8)

Roy: Semi-

MH: If you don't get back to your job, I will personally whack all the smileys out of you.

Roy: (to Ike.) Is that even possible? *capital X, capital D XD.*

Ike: You don't want to find out *Colon capital X :X.*

Roy: Our next guest is racing legend and renown bounty hunter, Captain Falcon. *capital x, zero. X0*

Ike: Colon, shift period. :

Roy: Shift period?

Ike: The sideways v.

Roy: Oh yeah.

(A blue car zooms across stage. Captain Falcon back flips out of his car before it crashes into the wall in a fiery explosion. He comes flying down, Falcon Punching the ground. A giant shockwave shakes the studio.)

Roy: So Captain Falcon, how has life been for you. *Capital X, Capital O XO*

Ike: Capital X, number sign. X#

CF: Are you spelling out smileys?

Roy: Just something me and Ike are doing. *Capital X, capital P*

Ike: Capital X, closed parenthesis. X)

Marth: It's "Ike and I."

Roy: No, it's "Ike and me." *semicolon closed parenthesis :)*

Marth: No, you don't say "me am doing something." You say, "I am doing something." When you are doing something with another person…

Roy: This is talk show, not a grammar class, princess. *capital t, period, capital t T.T*

Ike: Hey, that's copyrighted. Only I can call Marth a girl. *capital t, underscore, capital t T_T*

Roy: Freedom of speech. *capital T, lowercase o, capital T. ToT

Ike: Freedom to run you through with a sword. *capital T, comma, capital T*

Pit: Those aren't smileys; they're sad. They're saddies!

Roy: You know what…

MH: The next guy who even mentions the word smiley will lose something very dear to him.

Roy: You'll kill our girlfriends?

Ike: Actually I think he means…(whispers something in Roy's ear.)

Roy: (Eyes get really wide.) OH MY GOD! (Trembles.) We'll stop now.

MH: Good.

Roy: Oh, by the way Ike: just try to run me through with a sword, peasant.

(Roy and Ike engage in a swordfight. Ike elbows Roy in the gut before running him through with a sword.)

Mist: Ike!

Ike: He asked for it.

Mist: Control yourself.

Ike: He challenged me. I accepted his challenge. It was a fair fight.

Mist: It doesn't matter. (Heals Roy.) I'm tired of cleaning up your messes.

Ike: You could've just left him there.

Mist: Then my conscience would have plagued me.

Marth: Relax. Roy gets stabbed all the time. It's his own damn fault.

Roy: Not my fault.

Marth: If you'd learn to keep your mouth shut, you wouldn't get in half the situations you do.

Roy: I will not be silenced!

MH: I'll silence you if you don't get on with your job. (Lightning flashes in the background.)

Roy: (meekly) I'll interview Captain Falcon now.

MH: Good choice.

Roy: So how has your life been going, Captain Falcon?

CF: Fairly well. I have almost gotten Samus to admit her undying love for me.

Marth: Delusional.

CF: You have no clue what you're talking about, pretty boy.

Marth: I know that Samus hates you.

Roy: Don't you have a real girlfriend?

CF: There used to be many girls for the Falconator, but now Samus is the only one for me.

Marth: Obsessed-much.

Roy: So, Captain Falcon, how many times have you kicked Marth's ass?

CF: Twenty times since Brawl began. Samus was impressed.

Roy: …right. Marth you suck!

Marth: But I'm the one who returned to Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

Ike: He's got you there.

Pit: You did leave yourself wide open for that Roy.

Roy: Pit, are you on my side or their side?

Marth and Ike: Say our side.

Pit: Sorry guys, but I have lots of pranks to learn from Roy.

Marth: No! I had to put up with an entire year of Roy's pranks; I am not going through the rest of this tournament with Pit's pranks.

Roy: You guys lose. Pit has joined me on…the Dark Side.

Marth: *If we're the Dark Side with Mewtwo…"

Ike: *Shut up.*

CF: Are we like picking sidews or something?

Marth: It's hard to explain.

CF: I'm on Roy's side.

Marth: I though you hated Roy after he blew up your car.

CF: Well, that was a long…(Turns to face Roy.) That was you? You blew up my glorious racecar? Falcon Punch! (Roy gets hit, bursts into flames, and is projected through the brick wall of the studio into the brick wall of the neighboring building.)

Audience: Ooh! (Everyone winces in pain.)

Lilina: You bastard! Elfire! (Attacks Captain Falcon.)

CF: Hey, what gives?

Lilina: Don't you ever hurt my boyfriend again. Ever.

CF: Oh…so you're Lilina. *snicker.*

Lilina: What? What about me? Hey, sissy guy…

Marth: The name's Marth.

Lilina: Marth, do you know what's so funny?

Marth: …Yes.

Lilina: WHAT?

Marth: …After Roy told everyone about you, Captain Falcon was the one who started making up the …er…dirty Lilina jokes?

Lilina: (Turns bright red.) What? Roy is that true.

Roy: *groan*

Pit: I don't think he's going to be able to answer you.

Lilina: (Glares at Captain Falcon) Why you little %#*!

Pit: … o_o Wow. I had no idea Lilina could cuss like that.

CF: Hey! Help me! (On fire.) Help!

MH: EVERYONE STOP! (Dead silence engulfs the room as Master Hand's outburst reverberates through the room.) This is a Talk Show, not a brawl.

Roy: It's a talk show about a brawl. (Gets zapped by lightning.)

MH: Will everyone please control themselves? This is not the place to settle your disputes. Go to Dr. Phil or Jerry Springer for that. Hey Lilina, sit down.

Lilina: He insulted my honor.

MH: Deal with it. Honestly, you and your boyfriend cause way too much trouble.

Roy: Can you blame us? We're both pyromaniacs.

Marth: Well then we need some hydromaniacs to balance you.

Ike: Is hydromaniac even a word?

Roy: I don't think it is. So, Captain Falcon, how goes your training for the F Zero Grand Prix?

CF: Fabulous. I'm set to win it again for the sixth time in a row.

Roy: That's great news. Do you miss me?

CF: Not really. Samus isn't as pissy when you're not around.

Roy: Well that makes me feel better.

MH: You're not here to feel better; you're here because you are unemployed.

Roy: You know what, Hand?

MH: That's Master Hand to you. What?

Roy: I'm sick of your attitude.

MH: Well I'm sick of your stupidity. What are you going to do about it?

Roy: Something that should have been done a long time ago. (Raises the Sword of Seals.) Die Master Hand! (A torrential downpour of lightning crashes into Roy.)

Lilina: Roy! (Elfires Master Hand. Or at least she tries to. She misses.)

MH: Roy, interview Captain Falcon. Now.

Roy: (Fearfully.) Yes sir. So, what's your impression of the newbies?

CF: Zero-suit Samus is one hot, sexy thing.

Marth: Okay, really obsessed-much.

Roy: What about the newbies?

CF: None are as important as Samus.

Marth: Really obsessed-much.

CF: But if you must know, Olimar is a good friend. His Pikmin are very helpful. Meta Knight has a neat ship.

Roy: Oh really?

Marth: No.

Roy: (innocently.) No what?

Marth: I know what you're thinking. Don't.

Roy: I wasn't thinking of anything.

MH: (To himself.) Ain't that true.

Marth: You want to hijack Meta Knight's ship and crash it.

Roy: (feigns being offended.) Marth, I'm disappointed. I do not want to crash Meta Knight's ship.

Marth: But you want to steal his ship, take it for a joy ride, and in the process, you'll end up crashing it.

Roy: I will not. I got a driver's license.

Marth: Flying a ship is different from driving a car. Besides, you had your license taken away for running red lights and stop signs, speeding, drunk driving, and road rage.

Roy: (proudly) Yep.

Ike: That's not a good thing.

Roy: Huh?

Pit: Beam me up Palutena, there's no intelligent life down here.

Mewtwo: Ain't that the truth.

Roy: You got a problem, Pit?

Pit: Huh? No.

Roy: Oh yeah? You got a problem with my intelligence?

Pit: Not really…

Roy: Oh yeah? (Gets stabbed by Pit. Everyone looks at the angel.)

Pit: What? He was in my face. Self-defense. (Ducks as Lilina hurls fireball after fireball at him.) Hey!

Lilina: That's no reason to stab my boyfriend.

MH: I thought you were still mad at him.

Lilina: I am, but I still love him.

Roy: Thank you Lilina; now somebody heal me!

Dr. Mario: I'm a-coming, I'm a-coming.

Roy: Thank you. Hey Captain Falcon, do you have any new rivals?

CF: Just Marth.

Roy: Is there someone you enjoy fighting with?

CF: Olimar, Lucario, and Meta Knight.

Ike: What about me and Snake?

Roy: Snake and me?

Ike: Shut up.

CF: Ike, you're cool, but I hate Snake.

Marth: I would have thought you and Snake would have gotten along beautifully.

CF: That bastard's trying to steal Samus from me!

MH: Yo, Captain Falcon, K rating. No cussing.

Roy: Someone else is trying to hit on Samus?

Ike: Snake tries and Samus rejects him, but she doesn't kill him. I think deep down she may like him too.

CF: She likes me.

Marth: De-nial. (Oddly enough, Roy, Ike, Pit, Mewtwo, and Master Hand say this line in unison.)

Marth: Samus hates you.

(The doors of the studio fly open and Young Link marches in, followed by his eight girls who are all vying for his attention. He has a smug smile on his face. The older Midna waltzes in behind him.)

Roy: Oh you're back. How'd it go?

Midna: Zelda fainted halfway through the show so she's at the hospital with Link. They'll be back eventually. Young Link and his polygamy sect got kicked out because he refused to cooperate. I think he was driving Dr. Phil nuts.

CF: (To Ike and Marth.) Who's the sexy babe with the blue skin and red hair?

Ike: She's Midna. She likes Link, but Link is married to Zelda.

CF: Oh…wait. When did Link and Zelda get married?

Marth: Sometime five months ago.

CF: Why weren't we invited?

Ike: Because they eloped. I didn't really know them that good anyways back then.

CF: Link and I are tight yo.

MH: Don't even try to speak like that.

CF: You're no fun.

Marth: He's not supposed to be fun.

CF: Says who, pretty boy?

Marth: Says me!

CF: That's it pretty boy! Falcon Punch! (Attacks Marth. Gets impaled by a javelin.)

Sheeda: Leave my sissy fiancé alone.

CF: (Gets healed by Dr. Mario.) Marth, you're getting married?

Marth: So?

CF: Who's your fiancée?

Sheeda: I'm Sheeda.

Marth: (to Captain Falcon.) If you tell one dirty Sheeda joke, I will kill you.

CF: Like you could, pretty boy. They get in a giant fight.)

Roy: I think now's a good time for a commercial break. (Turns to Master Hand in fear.) Don't kill me! I'm not responsible for their fight.

A/N: Another chapter of random insanity. I wonder what happened to Zelda. (Give you a hint, it rhymes with maybe.) Anyways, I believe some of my wittiest lines are in this chapter. Poor Roy. Anyways hope everyone enjoys this story. Next chapter is Ganondorf.