I've been wanting to do a monologue for a while now...

xxx

"-love him even though he can be such a goddamn idiot sometimes...

So anyway, he's pissed as hell because he thinks these people are our friends, just because they gave us food, even though it's pretty obvious they're all trying to fucking kill us, and I'm trying to explain it to him, but of course he won't hear it, 'cause he's too busy freaking out about the whole, y'know, food equals friends. And jeez, it's not like I even killed any of those guys- just roughed 'em up and knocked 'em out.

But that's one of the things you learn about Sencho real fast- unless people give him a good reason to wanna kick their asses, just about everybody's his friend, even if they don't want anything to do with him... hell, I didn't at first, either, and look at me now, right? I dunno- he's got this weird way of winning you over, and before you know it, you'll do just about anything to see that stupid grin on his face.

He sure as hell wasn't grinning at me then, though- he was glaring at me like he wanted to fucking kill me, and I was pretty wound up myself, so one thing led to another and we ended up ripping up the street and knocking each other through buildings and shit, and who knows where it woulda gone if Nami hadn't decided to go all alpha bitch and knock our heads together.

I told you all about her, right? Pain in the ass, and she's constantly clobbering everybody, even that shitty curly-brow bastard who falls all over himself kissing her feet, but I guess she's okay. Pretty good with directions.

So we might've kept fighting anyway - we were both still pretty riled up - but then Vivi ended up needing our help...

You'll like Vivi, and you'll probably get to meet her sooner or later, 'cause Luffy wants to go back after we check out Raftel and find out what the deal is with One Piece. Remember how I said that a lot of people end up being his friend? Well, she's one of 'em, even though she's a princess and probably gonna be Queen of Arabasta some day.

She's actually not bad for a princess- she's a lot different from what you'd think. She's kinda girly, yeah, but she's decent in a fight and she's not afraid to get her hands dirty. Oh, and her hair's even weirder than mine- kinda like Franky's, but I'm pretty sure hers is real. Dunno about Franky; even Chopper can't tell what's real and what's fake on that guy anymore.

Sorry, I keep getting side-tracked.

Luffy and I never did get to find out who woulda won. I think it might've been close- at least as long as he didn't slingshot me into one of those giant cactuses- cacti- whatever the hell you call a whole bunch of those things. Although, knowing my luck, that's exactly what would've happened, 'cause he's constantly doing stuff like that- yanking me off cliffs and slamming me into rocks and shit. Well, he used to do it all the time, but he's been a lot more careful since you came along...

Heh, you like listening to me talk about Sencho, huh? I know he talks to you- I hear him sometimes when I'm fallin' asleep. He's probably a lot better at the whole story-telling thing, though- he gets all excited and makes weird noises as sound effects and shit, and that's really not my thing, but I figure somebody should talk to you if he's not here to do it, and I sure as hell don't want-

I don't want HER doing it. You're mine and Luffy's, and that bitch doesn't have a right to- to-

Oi, no no no, calm down and stop kicking so hard- c'mon, little guy, I know you're not trying to, but you're making me sick to my stomach and you're really not gonna like it if I start throwing up. Shhh, shhh, it's okay, it's okay, it's just us right now. I'm sorry if I scared you, but I won't let her- I won't let anything hurt you, okay, Ace? I'll keep you safe 'til Luffy gets here, and then he'll make sure we're both safe, and everything- everything's gonna be okay, alright?

Whatever it takes, whatever she does, it doesn't matter- I'll do whatever I need to do to keep you safe, I promise. These bastards already took my swords, already br-broke Wado and maybe Shuusui- I'm not gonna let them take you from me too."