HEARTBREAK: Syllabification: heart·break Noun.1) Overwhelming distress. Example: An unforgettable tale of joy and heartbreak.

CHAPTER SEVEN

I struggled the whole trip down the hallway as I heaved along my Louis Vuitton travel trunk from where I had stowed it in the extra guest bedroom. I couldn't imagine the amount of ruckus I was making and it caused me to pause and wonder if I should have waited for Edward to come home to do the heavy lifting. I could feel beads of sweat and I couldn't even begin to imagine how heavy this sucker was going to be the minute I added my personals.

On with the heave. But what's that I hear? The jangling of keys.

I drop the trunk and skip over to the door just in time to scare the crap out of my love.

"Oh Romeo, Romeo, art thou is here!" I bellowed.

"Geez, give a man a heart attack." Edward complained.

"Might just be better than poison."

"As much as I'm fond of this heart stopping welcome…what do you want?" He asked, cutting to the chase.

I feigned shock, "A girl can't be happy to see her love come home to her?"

"Bella." He warned.

"I need a muscley Romeo to help get my travel trunk into the bedroom." I pointed down the hallway, "Over there, if you please."

He walked over and looked down the hallway, scratching his head while appraising my trunk.

"You…you're not taking that to Scotland."

"Why not?"

"Bella, it's monstrous. The first class passengers on the Titanic could fit all their belongings in that."

I walked over to my trunk and gently patted the top of it. "But it's pretty and we have to pack warm, because it's probably snowing over there and warm clothes take up way more space."

"Why don't we find a more suitable suitcase?" He suggested.

"I don't have a more suitable suitcase. This is it as far as the travel department goes at Casa Swan, possibly hyphenated Hamilton. Still working that one out." The taste of the name change was still foreign to my lips. Bella Hamilton. Isabella Hamilton. Isabella Hamilton-Cullen.

"We could get you a suitcase." Edward offered.

"And spend precious money to find something new?" I mocked.

"Bella." He warned once more.

"What? You're the one who doesn't even want to go on this lavish vacay, even if it means I fit one more puzzle piece into my existence."

It was clear when we arrived home from Christmas dinner that he was not too happy with Carlisle's idea to pay for this quick trip to Scotland. He had been trying to prove that we could be self-sufficient on little money the past year. I was all for downsizing since I did manage to learn a thing or two about excess through my eye-opening time with homeless Edward but, still, sometimes it would be nice to have a nice meal or buy a nice outfit without having Captain Frugal ruining the day.

"Of course I want to see you fit your puzzle together, but we didn't have to go this second and we certainly didn't have to have my father pay for it. We could afford it after a couple of months of saving."

"Saving!" I exclaimed, "I don't have to save. I have a bank account which keeps my zeros after a rather large number company. I know you like to play poor Edward and Bella, but we're not poor. We don't have to save. Hell, I could finish this whole damn list in a week if I wanted to. I could pay to have every single one of these things done and done."

"Just because we have money doesn't mean we should spend it unwisely. Hasn't last year taught you anything?"

"YES! Last year taught me that there are people in this world who have very little or nothing at all, which is why I have donated money, lots and lots of money. Which is why I still go down and donate my time. But what do you want me to do? Give up everything? Will that make you happy, because I don't see why I should always feel bad for being able to have a nice safe house and the things that go into it, but if that's really the life you wanted to sign up for then by all means spit on me and my overindulgence and move along."

I threw my hands up and, overly frustrated, I headed toward the door, grabbing my car keys as I went. I could feel my skin heat and as the cool temperatures outside did little to calm it. I backed out of the driveway and was speeding down the street and, before I knew what I was doing, I ended up at the worst possible place an ex-junkie like myself could find themselves.

Barney's.

After all this time, I walked into the high-end store and it felt like nothing had changed and yet everything had changed as well. I took a moment to inhale the crisp Barney's air which was a mixture of leather, Chanel No. 5, and money. I felt my body begin to relax in ways even a decent massage couldn't do. It had been so so long and as I stood in the middle, my eyes wandering every which way, sadly, a part of me felt safe and at home.

I slowly walked toward the shoe department first, knowing that the last pair of designer shoes I had were not even last season; they were so old they were practically vintage.

"Is there anything in particular that you were looking for today?" A young woman approached as I gaped at the shoes around me.

My hand shook as it made its way into my purse to locate my membership card; my black American Express. I hand her the card as if I'm passing off a baby kitten and breathe a sigh of relief. The hard part is truly over.

"Charge it all."

Three hours later my car was filled to the brim. With what, I had no idea. It was like an outer body experience. I was a mad woman, but at least that poor sales girl had a very good start to the New Year with the commission I brought in for her. I was literally surrounded by boxes and bags and, I knew right then, there was no way I could go home like this. Edward would have a coronary for sure.

Frantically, I drove toward the old family building that was responsible for my abundance of funds. I didn't want to see Michael particularly, but I knew one person who could help me out of a jam. Angela and I had become good friends. The position that I asked her to fill was practically made for her. She had been able to take all the money that Swan Enterprises had donated and doubled its use with all her resources she had managed to track down.

The elevator stopped on the twelfth floor and I quickly hurried off, like at any moment someone would stop me from entering my own building. Mostly, I was afraid that Michael would find out that I was here and then that would lead to questions and those questions would lead to disappointed sighs and stares.

"Bella!" Angela greeted, surprised.

"Ang!" I quickly hugged her. "I need your help. I did something bad."

"Oh…uh…how bad?" She immediately traded her look of jubilation in for worry.

"Can you come down to the parking garage with me?"

No time for pleasantries here.

"O-kay. You…didn't kill anyone did you?" She said half-jokingly.

"No…but someone could very well be dead soon if you can't help me." I sighed.

Angela's eyes widened, but she nodded her head and waved for me to lead the way. We made it all the way down to the parking garage with my car still in its spot, loaded with all kinds of designer goodies.

"I may have gone a little overboard." I nibbled on my lip, waiting for her to assess the situation.

"You…went to Barney's. That's the big emergency."

"Yeah…I went to Barney's" I practically wailed.

"Bella, you said this was a matter of life or death."

"Yes! It is! Edward is going to kill me when he sees what I bought. You don't understand how he can be. He gets his undies in a twist when I buy brand name detergent. What do you think he will do with a seventy-eight thousand dollar bill?"

I began pacing, thinking of all the different shades I would see Edward's face turn before he erupted. Since we have been together, the most I have ever spent at one time, without his approval, was just under a thousand, and even then it had to be for extreme circumstances. I could feel my tear ducts start in on me and my breathing becoming shallow.

"It's okay. We'll figure this out." Angela rubbed my back. "Can you take any of it back?"

"That's embarrassing."

"Bella, I would think your man going postal would be more embarrassing."

"Isn't there something you can do? Just take it! Give it to the homeless."

"I can't give thousand dollar shoes to homeless people. The gang bangers would fight or kill them for it."

"Well then what am I going to do?" I screeched.

"Just calm down. Let me think." Angela ordered.

I watched as the wheels turned in her head and waited for her to come up with a solution to my problem. It felt like an eternity because the longer she took, the more time I was away from Edward, and surely by now he would be worried.

"Okay…how bout this. We bring it upstairs and I will have one of my team work on putting it on Ebay as a charity auction. I will promote it and maybe just maybe we can get at least some of that money back. And for the future, if you ever feel yourself driving over to Barney's, please drive here first and just…make a check out. Seventy-eight thousand dollars could go so far, Isabella Swan, if you would have put it in the right place to begin with." She scolded.

"I will. I promise. No more crazy shopping detours." I replied, crossing my heart.

"Okay, lets get started." She walked around to my truck and, as I hit a button, my purchases hit the ground as the trunk opened.

Angela started looking through the bags and, with a great sigh, she shook her head and then paused abruptly.

"I got it!" She snapped her fingers. "We could give these items to my friend over at Cosmo and ask her to use them in their next big celebrity shoot and then we will auction the items off. They will go for so much more if people know that someone famous has worn them."

"Angela! That's brilliant. Oh my god, you are perfect for this." I cheered.

"I'll give her a call. She helped with our last charity event. I'm sure she wouldn't mind helping us with this."

We called down the rest of Angela's team and, together, we all carried up the bags and boxes. I had gotten myself into a major pickle, but thankfully, with brilliant Angela, I had managed to find a way out. When I arrived back at home it was already dark and I could see only one light on in the house as I pulled up. I parked in the garage and walked into the house quietly, wondering if I would find Edward cooking dinner in the kitchen.

But he wasn't in the kitchen. I wandered through the house wondering where he could be. I noticed that my travel trunk was missing and wondered if he had moved it to the bedroom. I took a deep breath before pushing open the bedroom door and faltered in my step as I saw something bright pink and shiny lying on the bed.

A suitcase. A bright pink gaudy monstrosity of a suitcase. My hand glided over the smooth surface and I had to admit that it was a better alternative to my humongous trunk, even if it was gaudy pink. I couldn't help but smile at the color as Edward knew how much this color had caused many of war between us.

"Is it girly enough for you?" I heard from behind me.

I turned slightly, "Well, it was either this or purple, I imagine, since I am a girl."

"A peace-offering has to be ostentatious."

"You picked a really good one." I admitted. "I'm sorry about before. I…I shouldn't have gotten so upset."

"I'm sorry too. I know how much you have changed, Bella. Believe me, I find you to be absolutely extraordinary. I am so proud of you. I never in a million years thought that a girl who was obsessed with labels and fancy houses would ever see a different side to life, and that's what you have done. I shouldn't have been so hard on you. You should spend some money on buying yourself something nice every once in a while."

Wow, guilt trip party of one.

"Uh…thanks. That means so much to me. I…"

The phone ringing caught me off guard for a minute. Edward picked up the phone and greeted whoever was on the other end.

"Yes."

I could see him furrow his brow before sighing. He holds the phone out to me, "It's American Express wanting to ensure that you did in fact spend over seventy-eight thousand dollars at Barney's."

He passes off the phone without looking at me and leaves without saying another word.

Fuck!

I sighed and give a quick authorization to the tattle-teller on the phone and quickly hang up. I flopped down on the bed, rubbing my temples for the impending headache I was about to encounter. Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! What was I going to do now? Crisis was averted, and now I'm going to have one brooding boyfriend to deal with just before we were supposed to leave for what I had hoped for, a romantic getaway.

Timidly, I pushed off the bed and prepared myself for the wrath of Cullen. I walked out into the living room and saw him sitting on the couch eating a sandwich while watching some sporting event.

"So…bet you can't guess what I did today."

His eyes met mine for a mere moment and they weren't happy eyes.

"Well…technically, you did say that I should go and spend money on myself every once in a while. This was my once…in a very long while and for a very long while after. So…" I paused, hoping for some form of communication, but he just sat there staring off into the television. "You know what? I didn't even get to keep the items I bought. I knew you would be mad and make me feel guilty, so I donated it all. Not one shoe, scarf, or sunglasses did I keep. If anything, I just did us a favor. It's a donation, which will help out on our taxes at the end of the year."

"Oh…well." He finally spoke, "I remember someone else, not so long ago, who would use donations for the purpose of tax write offs."

"I am nothing like Lauren." I snapped. "How dare you!"

"How dare I? You just went out and blew nearly a hundred grand because you were in a tantrum. How dare you, Bella."

"You know what, you're so god damn high and mighty, I'm surprised you haven't had nose bleeds from the altitude. I'm going to bed, but I suggest you find another place to sleep, because I wouldn't want you lying down with dogs."

Once again, I tore out of the room. And as childish as it seemed, I couldn't wait to slam the door behind me. I picked the hot pink suitcase from off the bed and threw it to the floor. I didn't even change or go through my nightly routine. I grabbed the covers back and threw the decorative pillows to the floor before climbing into bed. I lay staring at the ceiling, questioning whether Edward and I should be in a relationship. I loved him, I did, but it was getting too hard.

My stomach grumbled, reminding me I hadn't eaten anything since lunch, but I wasn't about to go out of this room to fulfill its needs. I turned on my side and stared out the window to my garden being lit up by the moonlight and really contemplated what I was going to do. Thankfully, I found sleep sooner than I would have thought and was able to put my problems away for a few hours.

Edward never came to bed.

I guess he took my advice after all. I walked out of the bedroom still dressed in the clothes from the previous day. It was the worst walk of shame of my life seeing how I didn't even get any. There was no sign of Edward anywhere, and I wondered if he had ended it without even saying goodbye.

I went on as if everything was normal and made myself a large breakfast since my stomach had practically eaten itself last night. I sat at the table looking around at my surroundings and tried to picture what my life would be like without Edward here. But I didn't have to wait long for the confrontation in my mind to become a reality since, the moment I set my fork down, Edward walked in from the garage carrying grocery bags.

"We were out of a lot of things so I went to the market."

"Oh." I replied softly.

He set the bags down and sighed, "Look, can we just stop all this nonsense? I don't want to fight with you."

I nodded in response. "Actually, I've been thinking…maybe I should go to Scotland alone…go and um…stay on my own. You could go with your family and we can spend some time apart and see if…"

"STOP!" He barked, "God dammit, Bella. Just stop already."

Hearing the anger come from him, I immediately shut my mouth and closed myself off. He appraised my stance and immediately melted.

"Just do it already, Bella. Just end this. I know that's what you want." He replied, defeated.

"That is not what I want!" I snapped. "What I want is for you to not be upset with me over every little thing. You constantly judge everything I do and I feel like I'm never going to be good enough for you. I never going to be the girl you want me to be. Angela is the girl you want."

"Angela?" He snapped, confused.

"She has dedicated her life to service and lives modestly. She has kids and probably wouldn't mind having more. She has a degree and I think she practically qualifies for sainthood, which usually is a prerequisite for your standards."

"What the fuck does Angela have to do with this?"

"I'm just giving you options." I shouted, taking my plate to the sink.

"I don't want options!" he shouted back.

"You sure as hell fooled me, because I know I haven't been doing it for you lately. Hell, the fact that you feel the need to call me Lauren, I know my halo must have slipped."

"All I want is for you to be responsible, Bella."

"It's not your job to make me responsible. I'm sorry Charles failed you, but you should go and yell at him, not me."

"You are completely impossible to talk to. You have to fight me on everything."

"Which is why I thought some time apart would do us some good. I don't want to break up but this…this right here, this isn't working and I don't wan t to be in a relationship where I have to tiptoe around you all the time because you get over sensitive about money. I'm going to Scotland to finish number two on the list and then, hell, I may fly down to the Bahamas to get in some scuba diving while I'm at it. Go with your family! Have a happy New Year and then when we come back we can decide if this is something we want to try to keep."

"So I don't get a say in this at all?" he snapped.

I looked around at my house and imagined it without Edward. I tried to imagine my life without Edward and I was incredibly saddened by the thoughts but, in the end, we already knew this wasn't going to work. We were just too different. Maybe if I would have been raised by Eugene Hamilton, I could have turned out different. Maybe if I was ten years older, I might want the same things in life, but I wasn't raised by Eugene and that age gap between us was never going to get any smaller.

"If you could…try and see past all this and take a good look into your future, then I think you would want it to end this way…right now, before we wasted anymore time. I believe future Edward would tell you that it's best to not have a say and just know that this is for the best."

"So…you're just breaking up with me because you're being lazy. You don't want to have to work at this relationship. You would throw away everything because it got too hard. That's not the Isabella Swan I know."

"That's the thing, Edward. I'm not Isabella Swan. I'm…Isabella Hamilton and I don't even know who I am anymore, but I know who you are and you definitely deserve better than Isabella Swan. You deserve a person who knows who they are and is happy with who they are, I may be lazy, but I'm strong enough to let you go."

I kept my tears at bay, knowing I could have a long crying jag the moment Edward left. I looked at him one last time and I could see him having the same difficulties I was having.

"Good-bye, Edward."


AN: Thank you soo much for reading and reviewing. I want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving! I hope every person no matter where they are in their life can look around and find something to be thankful for every single day.

Thank you to my wonderful beta, Robstenvampgirl! You're the best!

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Story is mine.