AN: I just finished this and it's 1.20 a.m. I have an exam in the morning and I'm typing random crap instead of normal sentences, since I'm that sleepy. Buuuut.. XD Since I'm such a -cough- nice person -cough- and I didn't want to leave you guys with a cliffhanger (of sorts) for too long... Here you go:)
Although, if there are typos and grammar mistakes, please point them out. I wouldn't have noticed in this sleepy state I'm in. And.. err.. possible OOC-ness here. I'm not sure cuz I can't remember what exactly I wrote. DDX -ignore me please-
Anyway, read new chapter and tell nice author what you think about it. TRC 179 rants are welcome. -needs ranting company-

Oh, and I seemed to have caused some confusion last chapter about Sakura and her cutting. To clear that up, no, she did not cut herself. She just nicked her finger or her palm or whatever you want it to be (just not her wrists) enough to make Syaoran's oh-so-sensitive senses smell the blood. But, no wrist slitting. It was a game to see who could drop their facade first. And enough with the damned author notes.

Disclaimer: Oh, please. I wouldn't have had so many clones if I were CLAMP. Oh, wait. Wrong fandom.


It was the day after Sakura had faked slitting her wrists in the castle kitchen, and Syaoran hadn't dared go near her. The frosty glare she had shot him when she found him snickering outside the kitchen door was enough to keep him at bay. If only for a few hours.

'I can't help that this place is so lifeless that the only thing I can do is try to get a reaction out of that block of ice,' Syaoran reasoned, as he found his legs propelling him in the direction of Sakura's room. He didn't bother to knock on the adjoining door, as he guessed she would keep it locked if she had to. He was taken aback as he found her room empty, with the bed neatly made. He nearly turned back, when he sensed her presence to his right. 'Balcony. Baka!'

Syaoran strode confidently towards her, not missing a beat when he saw her sitting on the floor, as lifelessly as the castle appeared to be to him. He sat down beside her, and said, "Morning, Princess."

If Sakura was surprised at his cheery attitude, it didn't show. "It's three in the afternoon, Li-san."

Syaoran was undeterred. "Is it? How time flies here in this remarkable country."

It would take an idiot to miss the heavy sarcasm that filled Syaoran's remark, and the Princess was hardly an idiot. She regarded him coolly out of the corner of her eye. "Are you bored once again, Li-san?"

"You would be lying if you said that you aren't, Princess." Syaoran smirked at the slight irritation that crossed her face.

'I will not let this... boy get to me,' Sakura thought determinedly. She would have been a little happier if she had seen the peeved look on Syaoran's face when she stopped bantering with him – if only she had noticed.

Syaoran sighed and leaned back, relying on his arms for support. He looked at the dismal landscape, where the sun was barely managing to peep out through the clouds that would neither rain nor dissipate; the trees were barren, save for one or two trees which hardly had any leaves on them, dotting the terrain. He closed his eyes and wondered how bad it would be in winter, if it was this cold in spring. 'I miss the heat,' Syaoran thought sadly.

Out of the blue, Syaoran jerked upright and stared at Sakura. She gazed at him blankly and Syaoran felt himself get just a little too annoyed. 'Her face is just a little too out of it,' he gritted.

Forgetting Tomoyo's warning from two days ago, Syaoran snapped, "Why the hell is this place so cold? It was perfectly normal until the entrance to the kingdom, and then it suddenly just became frosty. It's starting to get to me."

He stopped short as he noticed the dull look slide of her face, only to be replaced by deep sorrow and... 'Heart ache?' Syaoran thought, incredulous. 'That can't be right.'

Sakura smiled sadly and turned to view the landscape that was already tiring Syaoran. She heard him mumble an apology and she shook her head, dismissing it. "No," she said. "You have the right to ask. It isn't usual, this weather."

He was surprised she was offering the information. From the way Tomoyo had reacted, Syaoran was expecting the Princess to blow up in his face if he mentioned it. 'Or blow me up, instead,' he shuddered at the possibilities of her latent magic.

"What... what caused it?" Syaoran asked hesitatingly.

The Princess's smiled grew sadder. "I did."

"You must be incredibly powerful then, Princess." He was trying to offer her solace, though he didn't know why. He just felt that she shouldn't be sad. 'Not when she's so dead otherwise, too.'

If Sakura wasn't trying not to burst into tears at the memories that suddenly flooded her mind, she would have snorted. "I'm not powerful at all, Li-san," she stated finally. "I'm just ... untrained."

"With your magic?" Syaoran was genuinely curious now. If she did have such talent, then why didn't anybody at the castle make sure it was harnessed properly?

"In a manner of speaking," she replied cryptically.

Not one to take a hint so easily, Syaoran pressed, "What do you mean?"

Sakura sighed, wondering how much she should tell him. She knew he wasn't leaving anytime soon, so there was no point in hiding something that would eventually come out. 'But what should I say...?'

Slowly, she began, "There are people at the castle... who believe that my magic cannot be brought under my control." Syaoran's eyes narrowed but he did not interrupt. "They think that as long as my emotions run unchecked, my magic will follow." There was a bitter look in her eyes that made something tug inside Syaoran. "I was never offered training, and I never asked anybody to train me."

Syaoran wanted to offer her his help, but he decided against it. Instead he asked, "Is that why the country is always cold?"

The Princess nodded. "It was an awfully painstaking experience for me. I think my family and friends were a little happy with that day's proceedings." She offered him a weak smile. "Until I happened along and ruined it for them, of course."

Deciding that Sakura had had enough of reminiscing for one day, he said flippantly, "So, your Majesty." She looked at him warily. 'That was weird. Sombre to cheery. He's upto something.' "Ever fought with snowballs?"

He grinned at her snooty half-glare. "Li-san, I am not aware of your country, but over here, Princesses do not – Aaaaaaaa!"

Caught up in her monologue, she failed to realise that Syaoran was slowly bringing up a snowball, from the snow remaining from last winter, upto her balcony and had shoved it down her back.

Standing up quickly, she tried to shake off all the snow, while glaring at her bodyguard. "What the hell are you doing?" He laughed heartily as her formal speech dropped. Her eyes widened. She exclaimed, "You know magic!"

Still choking out his laughter, Syaoran replied cockily, "Princess, I've read about magic while training. So yes, I do know magic."

She slapped his shoulder impatiently. "Baka. I meant, you can do magic!" He nodded slowly, not quite understanding what she was so excited about. She looked so gleeful, Syaoran thought he might be sick. 'She was like a post just a minute ago,' he thought, bemused.

"Why are you so jumpy?" He asked bluntly.

"Because," she spoke slowly, as though addressing a child. "We have something in common now!" She grinned, and added mischievously, "Apart from being stuck in this death trap, that is."

Syaoran shook his head in disbelief. It took so little to make her happy. 'Maybe it seems that way now. She probably didn't have anyone to talk to, for a very long time.'

Sakura was oblivious to his contemplative state of mind. Blissfully, she sighed. "I think this is the beginning of an extremely complicated friendship."

XXX

Sakura smiled, as she sat against the parapet of the same balcony. 'And it was. Except for a few incidents here and there regarding... showers.' She bit her lip to keep from giggling, and felt content, recalling how easy it was for them to talk to each other after that day. 'It always got better, didn't it?' She saw Syaoran looking at her, seemingly as happy as she was.

Then she remembered why they were sitting together so quietly, without any banter or anything else. She felt the joy slip away from her, as she braced herself to tell Syaoran something she had buried deep in the back of her mind.

Her apprehension must have shown, for Syaoran reached forward to hold her hand gently. "It's okay, Sakura. I'll be here, no matter what."

She nodded, missing the warmth of his hand as it slid out of hers. She sighed again, this time very pensive and started, "It was ... on my tenth birthday."

XXX

The recently turned ten-year-old Sakura bobbed in excitement. She was standing in her room, waiting for her father or her brother to call her downstairs. They had asked her to wait, for they needed to prepare the room for their Sakura's big birthday.

She couldn't contain her glee as she sped around her room. She spotted the framed picture of her mother on her dresser and ran to it. Picking it up, she chirped, "Okaa-san, your little Sakura isn't so little anymore! I'm ten years old and I'm going to stomp that mean Onii-chan for taking so long with my presents."

She pouted at her reflection and placed her mother's photo back carefully. It had been seven years since she had passed away, but Sakura knew that she was in a better place, so she didn't worry too much.

Giving up on ever being called downstairs, Sakura quietly opened her door and tiptoed down the hallway. She stopped at the top of the stairs, hiding behind the banister. Her heart thudded in her chest and she felt a familiar heat spread across her face. 'Y-Yukito-san is here,' she thought giddily.

Yukito was her brother's best friend, and it was all she could do to keep her eyes off him all the time. It took a lot more effort to be the sensible, smart girl she usually was, when she was around him. 'Yukito-san is my favourite person, and I'm glad he's Onii-chan's friend, cuz then I get to see him all the time!' Her eyes sparkled brightly and she briefly thought about going back to her room and waiting. But then she saw something was amiss.

Yukito was usually giving her a run for her money when it came to being cheery. Today, however, he looked weak and tired and seemed to be having an argument with somebody. Peeping over the top of the banister, she saw her brother. "What is that mean Touya saying now?" she mumbled angrily.

Her eyes widened as Sakura saw Yukito faint and before she knew it, she was running downstairs, screaming, "Onii-chan, what happened?"

Touya obviously wasn't expecting Sakura down yet. He snapped, "Go back to your room, Sakura." Seeing his sister's hurt look, he added, in a gentler tone, "We haven't finished preparing yet. You don't want – "

"Does Touya-nii-chan think I'm a baka?" Sakura glared. "Why did Yukito-san faint?"

'I don't want her to see this,' Touya thought vehemently. "He probably didn't eat much before he got here."

"But," Sakura's eyes brimmed with unshed tears. "Yukito-san loves food." She looked at his unconscious body. "Why wouldn't he have eaten enough when he loves food?" Her passionate glare told Touya that she held him responsible for something that wasn't in his control. 'But what's about to happen is in my control, and she's going to hate me for a very long time if she sees.'

"Otou-san!" Touya broke out of his reverie when he heard his sister's cry. "Otou-san, Yukito-san's..."

"Yes, Sakura. But it's okay now," Kinomoto Fujitaka gently reassured her. "Touya's going to make Yukito feel much better."

"Really?" Sakura's eyes shone in amazement, marvelling at the many things her brother could do. Touya felt his heart shatter.

Fujitaka nodded at Sakura and motioned to Touya that he should proceed. Touya sputtered, "In here, Dad?"

His father looked a little sad. "There is no other choice. She must see."

Sakura stared at them in confusion. "She? Do you mean me?" They didn't answer her and her brother looked like he was about to cry. 'But Touya doesn't cry...' Sakura didn't like what she couldn't understand. "What's going on?"

She felt fear take over her as her father gripped her shoulders. He was restraining her. 'But from what?'

Her eyes widened as she saw Touya place his palm on Yukito's chest and close his eyes in concentration. An unearthly glow engulfed them both as Touya's face contorted in pain, and Yukito's body started to respond.

"Otou-san," Sakura whispered nervously. "What is Onii-chan doing?"

"Giving Yue the power to live," her father answered, softly.

"Yue? That creepy man with wings who stays in Yukito-san's body?" Sakura shivered at the thought of his cold, grey eyes.

"Sakura," Fujitaka didn't know how to tell her. "Yukito doesn't really exist. He's just a shell for Yue to live in." He flinched at the deep hurt that crossed Sakura's face. "After this... Yukito will cease to exist."

His grip on Sakura's shoulders tightened considerably as his daughter realised the meaning behind what he had said. Tears started to flow freely from her eyes, as she screamed, "Onii-chan!"

Touya couldn't hear what she was saying, and Yukito's hair was starting to grow just a little longer. Sakura writhed in despair and struggled against her father.

"No! Nii-chan, don't do it!"

"Hush, Sakura. Let your brother do what he must." Fujitaka's voice sounded cold to his own ears and he grimaced at the thought of what it must have sounded like to Sakura.

"But I don't want him to go!" Sakura shrieked. "Otou-san, tell him to stop!"

There was a blinding flash of white light and Touya was now slumped on the floor. Sakura stood still in shock, not daring to believe her eyes.

Where Yukito had been lying mere seconds ago, a grown man with long silver hair, piercing grey eyes and a pair of gigantic wings stood, looking at Sakura and awaiting her reaction.

She had none.

Yue looked down at Touya and helped Fujitaka carry him up to his room. Neither male met her now furious gaze as they passed her by. But they stopped when they heard her whisper, "Why?"

"Your brother's magic was the only way to save both Yukito and Yue," her father's voice floated down from the staircase. "Otherwise, in time, they would have disappeared. And Yue's existence is vital for the protection of this country."

Sakura didn't understand. Anybody could protect the country. What was so special about that man? Why did her Yukito have to disappear just to make room for him? Wasn't there enough room for them both?

She slipped to the floor, completely numb. Staring at the tiles blankly, she failed to notice that her body was emanating with almost the same eerie glow as her brother and Yukito, just minutes ago. It burned brighter and brighter the longer she stayed without saying a word, until the room was engulfed in the bright golden light.

Yue was at the top of the stairs before he sensed anything. 'Damn it, I'm still not used to this form being my own,' he thought angrily. He was too late to stop her.

Finally, Sakura cried out, a long, painful, heartbroken howl and the light started to shimmer until it exploded into a million tiny fragments. The main hall was suddenly freezing.

Fujitaka propped Touya up against Yue, who indicated to Sakura's father that he should hurry. It was not a pleasant sight that was awaiting the senior Kinomoto.

Sakura hadn't moved an inch and didn't seem to be reacting to the sudden cold. Fujitaka gasped in shock as he saw her lifeless eyes, that had been sparkling brightly less than half an hour ago. She raised the same eyes to meet his, and he had to choke back another gasp that threatened to escape.

Her stare was as frigid as the inside of the castle.

He could only watch, as she stood up slowly and opened the castle doors. She said nothing as she observed the raging snowstorm, and proceeded to walk back upstairs to her room. She passed by her father, Yue and Touya without a second glance.

"A snowstorm?" Fujitaka didn't know whether to be in awe of his daughter or afraid. "In April?"

Yue didn't want to offer his insights. He had never been afraid of a little girl before, but Sakura's pointed avoidance chilled him to the bone.

Fujitaka and Yue didn't notice a little girl peeping from the gap in her doorway, watching with a blank stare as the two men took care of her brother. They didn't hear the door close with a quiet click and they most certainly didn't hear the only words she spoke for the rest of the day.

"Happy birthday, Sakura."

XXX

Somewhere during her narration, Syaoran had come to sit beside her and wrapped her in a warm one-armed hug. She cried into his shoulder, all barriers destroyed, as she shared the one thing she had never wished to discuss. Sakura tried to continue; she wanted to finish what she was saying. But Syaoran turned her around so that he could hug her properly, and gently stroked her hair as she poured her heart out.

'It's been too long,' he thought sadly. 'Too long since she's kept all this inside.'

Sakura, sniffling, gave him a watery smile of gratitude, and managed, "Not much happened after that. My dad died a few months later." She frowned in thought. "I think maybe, it had something to do with me being the way I was. Remember the ice bitch you met on your first day here?"

Syaoran's smile didn't reach his eyes. "How could I forget?"

"I'd been like that for seven years, straight." She paused to regard him, looking a little appreciative. "You know, I never really smiled before you came here." She smiled, as though to demonstrate. "I think that's saying something."

This time he smiled genuinely. "I think so, too."

Sakura looked carefree for the first time in four months. Syaoran held her at an arm's length and stated, rather than asked, "You feel a lot better, don't you?"

"I'm sure you will, too." He looked baffled. She giggled and said, "I know you, Syaoran. You must be feeling awful that you couldn't protect me from all that, even though, logically you know it wouldn't have been possible." She grinned triumphantly at his stumped expression. "And you must be feeling a little bad about not being able to say the right things, now that the mystery behind the cold eyes has been solved at last!"

Syaoran had to laugh at the way she was describing her situation. He kissed her lightly on the nose, and ignored her blush. "Why did you say that I'll feel better as well?"

"Once you tell me what you wanted to, your burden's gone, too." A remarkably simple way to talk about a rather complicated situation.

But he knew she was right.


AN: Dundundun! -is so evil- Yes, Syaoran's past is coming.. tomorrow? Day after? Most likely, tomorrow. So watch this space. XD
-begs forgiveness from all reviewers- Thank you all for putting up with my cliffie obsession (and continuing to put up with it, hopefully) I will thank each of you individually and give you all a big dose of SS fluff (whenever possible) to show you my appreciation for.. appreciating my work! X)