Madoka didn't know how she managed to go through the week. She felt depressed and sad. She couldn't sleep well, because every night, after she had worked hard all day long in the shop, to keep her mind busy, she kept thinking about Ginga and his love confession at night time. It wasn't supposed to be so hard for her. But the fact that it was, proved that she still couldn't forget or bury her old feelings for him.
I love you Mado! I always have loved you and always will love you.
Madoka flinched, remembering his words. God, how she hated herself, but his confession stirred up something deep inside her.
This wasn't making things easier between them. It wasn't supposed to be this way. He was supposed to have forgotten about her. They were adults now. The love and attraction they used to feel for each other as teenager had to be gone by now. She had moved on with her life. She had moved on to a new love, right?
Even though the fact, that she hadn't known what happened to him, had been bothering her. However, now that she knew what did occur in the past seven years and she finally had to stop thinking about him. They could stay friends, nothing more. Since Ginga had confessed his love to her, she hadn't seen him. Madoka only heard from Kenta that he was now living in a small apartment, near the central station. She was a coward and she knew that, or else she would have gone to him and spoken to him. But she rather hid herself and chose to avoid him, instead of facing him like a grown-up.
Great, Madoka! There you go, you adult! She thought pissed at herself. I am acting as if I am still in love with him…but I can't be! I just can't be.
Madoka turned around and checked the time on her phone. Today was Friday night and she had decided to go to sleep early. She hadn't been able to sleep well the past few days. That was why she wanted to go to bed early tonight. It was 11 pm now and she hadn't been able to fall asleep. Not even for a few minutes. She had to distract herself with something or else, she would start thinking about Ginga again.
Maybe I should check on Hikaru? she thought.
Hikaru was her best friends, since years. Hikaru had fallen in love, she was happily married, even expecting a child soon. Madoka smiled remembering two days ago, when Hikaru told her the big news. She had been over the moon about her pregnancy and babbling about how she was planning to tell her husband Ryuga. Ryuga was still on a business trip and would return at Sunday. Madoka wondered if her friend was doing well. After all she was alone at home and Madoka had heard that a lot of women had to deal with constant nausea, in the first month of pregnancy. Madoka knew that Hikaru loved to stay awake at night time, watching her favorite tv shows on Netflix, especially on weekends, when she wasn't working. So, she took her phone and texted her best friend.
Hey there, still awake?
Of course, I am 😊 watching the latest episode of Pretty little liars
Madoka grinned. She knew her best friend was obsessed with that show.
Didn't you already see that?
I am watching it again! The last episode was just too good *O*
Lol
What are you doing?
Nothing… can't sleep
Is something bothering you?
Madoka hesitated before she replied. Hikaru knew her well after all. Madoka still hadn't told her the latest news and she felt as if couldn't delay it any longer. Sooner or later Hikaru would hear the news about Ginga returning and she would be mad with her, for not telling her. Madoka decided it was time to drop the bomb.
Ginga is back.
WHAT? Are you kidding me? I asked you two days ago, how you are doing, and you didn't remember to tell me THAT?
Hikaru used a series of emojis to show her anger, surprise and shock, while Madoka couldn't help it, but grin. Hikaru wasn't going to let her get away with only texting, since she wanted to know everything. She called Madoka. Madoka felt like she needed to talk with someone about her feelings too, so she told her best friend everything. From the moment Ginga suddenly appeared on her door to the morning where she woke up to next to him and he confessed his love. She told her how he decided to leave her house and found himself an apartment he could stay at and that she hadn't spoken to him since then.
Wow, I am speechless, Hikaru confessed. I honestly don't know what to say to you, Madoka-chan.
Madoka felt a little better, after she finally told her friend.
I can't believe though, that it took you so long to tell me! Hikaru huffed.
I am sorry, Hikaru! I wanted to tell you before, but when you called me two days ago, so happy about your pregnancy…I couldn't bring myself to tell you.
Hmmm, kay! You are forgiven…, Hikaru said teasingly.
Madoka sighed.
So? What are you going to do now? Hikaru asked her.
Honestly…I don't have a clue. I didn't expect that to happen. I am still shocked over the fact, that he is alive… I never thought I would see him again.
I see
I really don't know what to do, Hikaru. As you know, I am dating Tsubasa now and we are happy. I can't leave him…and after all, my relationship with Ginga is over. It has been over for years now. I well… I don't love him anymore.
Are you sure about that?
What? Sure about what?
About what you just said!
Why are you asking me that? Of course, I am sure! Madoka half-shouted.
Hikaru went silent. Madoka felt her heart beat get faster and she was getting irritated. Why was Hikaru asking her that? After all, she knew how hard and tormenting these past years had been for Madoka. She hadn't given up on her love easily. She was not going to fall for the same guy all over again. She was an adult now, and not a teenager!
I am tired, Madoka confessed. She didn't feel like starting to argue with her friend, if she still had love feelings left for him or not. She liked him. That was for sure. But she wasn't going to start thinking about what they had and what they had could have been, if only Ginga hadn't been trapped in this criminal organization. If there was something Madoka had learned over the past years, it was the fact, that all these "what if´s" were wrong. These thoughts made you go crazy over time, not able to live or enjoy the present. Nobody was able to live a happily life in the present, if you kept being stuck in the past.
She knew it deep down in her heart, what was the right thing to do. She had to reject him. Even if the thought of doing so, made her stomach recoil. She shouldn't keep his hopes up, as if there was still a chance for them. Because there wasn't. It took her long to realize that.
I am tired of thinking about all of that. I will have to reject him…
Hmm, Hikaru didn't sound happy with her decision.
What else do you expect me to do? Madoka asked her, getting desperate.
I can't tell you what to do, Madoka. That is up to you. You must decide what you want to respond to him. But I highly recommend you, not to rush into things.
Madoka sighed. She didn't see why she was rushing things now. After all, it had been five days ago, since she had seen him or spoke to him.
Didn't you miss him?
I did, Madoka confessed. She hadn't seen him for years and even thought, he might have passed away. She still saw him as an important friend and especially now, that she knew what happened to him and that he had been searching his way back home for years, she felt like she didn't want to spend a day apart from him. She knew that Kenta, Benkei and even Kyoya had been vising him, since he lived at his new apartment. But she hadn't the courage to face him, after what had happened. She didn't want things to stay between them like that. She knew that she eventually had to talk to him.
Maybe I will go and see him tomorrow?
Yeah, sounds good.
Wait, isn't tomorrow Tsubasa´s big day?
Eh? You mean the WBBA world conference?
Yes
It´s in the late afternoon. I will meet Ginga beforehand.
And the party?
It's after the conference. That is why it's called after party, old fox.
Hikaru only laughed at her words.
Hopefully Tsubasa is going to make the deal with the US WBBA center.
I am sure, everything is going to be fine. Hikaru muttered. What are you going to wear to the party?
Madoka rolled her eyes. It was so typical for Hikaru to ask her such questions.
I still didn't decide yet, she answered her cagey. Maybe my blue dress?
Urgh…boring! That is way too formal. Hikaru complained. I will just come over and help you pick something suitable. Madoka knew that Hikaru was going to attend the party too. She didn't mind her friend helping her getting ready.
Sure, sounds good to me. Then I will see you tomorrow?
Yep! Hikaru confirmed happily. I will be around at 8o clock. Is that ok?
Yes, the party won't start before 9 pm.
And you will have to tell me everything about how your conversation with Ginga goes, Hikaru insisted.
Okay…Madoka said, frowning. Madoka was hoping she wouldn't chicken out of the situation, as she did before. But she couldn't avoid him forever. And she really did miss him and longed to see him again. They ended the phone call and Madoka was so exhausted that she fell asleep right in the moment, she put her head on her pillow.
AN: Thank you for reading my story! I am truly sorry for taking so long to update. I had a lot of stress last term at college T_T but now I am back, and I will do my best to update regularly now. I promise! I love you guys, for staying patient with me! :* :* :*
Lots of love to everyone 3
