What the fuck was that Winter Finale? Here, have another chapter. Stay strong out there, Swen. Swan Queen is endgame for this story, so don't lose hope. I warn you though, there's going to be some Dragon Queen in this chapter, but it's SwanQueen all the way. Enjoy.

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Xoxo Q.M.

Chapter Seven: Blackest Day

When Emma finally got to the house in Long Island, she wasn't feeling much better. Her head was swimming and she still didn't know whether or not she had cheated on Regina. She felt fifty shades of horrible. She hadn't meant for all of this to happen, but it had. Those drinks…Fuck. She knocked on the door. There was no answer. She knocked again. Zelena opened the door. She looked tired, beyond tired.

"Hey. Is Regina here?" Emma asked.

"Yes, but we should talk for a moment." Zelena said, walking out onto the porch, and shutting the door behind her.

"What's up?"

"Cora passed this morning. Aneurysm."

"Oh shit. I'm so sorry. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Zelena said, sighing. Was it true? Maybe. Who really knew in these kinds of situations? How were you supposed to feel when your estranged mother died of a sudden aneurysm brought on by a cocaine relapse after weeks of dementia? How was anyone supposed to feel?

"How is she?" Emma asked, feeling even worse about the previous night.

"She's out back with Henry."

"Ok." Emma said, moving to find them. Zelena stopped her.

"What happened between you two last night?"

"Excuse me?"

"Something happened, I can tell."

"And what makes it your business exactly?" Emma snapped. Zelena's face tightened into something frightening.

"You listen here, Miss Swan. Our mother just died, ok? If you're going to come in here and complicate matters, then I think it would be best if you just-"

"Zelena, it's fine." Regina said, walking onto the porch.

"Regina, I'm sorry. I was just trying-"

"I know. Please go be with Henry for a moment. I will take care of this." Regina said. There were wrinkles in her eyes. She seemed so much older than she had last night. Zelena nodded and placed a hand on her sister's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. Then, she went back into the house. Emma just stood there, overcome with emotion. She wanted to rush in and take Regina into her arms. She wanted to hold her close, so close that they were one person. She wanted to kiss her. She wanted to scream.

"Hey." Emma said.

"Hey."

"I'm sorry about last night." Emma said, moving closer. Regina tensed, ready to move away.

"Don't worry about it."

"I was just-"

"Emma, I really can't do this right now."

"I just want to-"

"I said I can't do this."

"Ok. We can talk about it later. Come here." Emma said. Regina didn't move. She just crossed her arms and stood her ground. Emma's heart fell.

"I mean it, Emma. I can't do this."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I need you to go." Regina said gently. Emma's swallowed hard and Regina's eyes glistened with tears.

"Regina, please. I'm sorry about last night."

"I understand and I forgive you."

"Then why are you doing this?" Emma asked, her voice shaking. It was so genuinely confused that Regina almost reconsidered.

"My mother just died, Emma. I need to process that."

"I don't want you to hurt like this. I don't want you to be alone." Emma pleaded.

"I'm not alone, and honestly, I have to hurt for a little while. That's the nature of these things." Regina explained. Emma choked down a sob, trying to be strong. Behind her, a car pulled up.

"Shit." Regina said quietly. This Emma business was supposed to be over by now. Mal stepped out of her black Cadillac, her face as cold as ever. Emma's heart snapped into a thousand pieces. She glared at Regina, unable to contain her jealousy, her betrayal.

"Emma, before you freak out-"

"Seriously? So that's it, huh? You're just going back to your old life? I thought you changed! All she's going to do is drag you-"

"That is enough, you petulant child!" Regina hissed. Emma let her tears take hold. Regina knew she wouldn't understand…

"Is she bothering you, Regina?" Mal asked, her heels clicking a death knell on the wood of the steps.

"Go inside." Regina barked. Mal nodded and obeyed.

"Listen, Mal knew Mother. She is important to me. I am mourning, Emma! This is not about you! This is not about us! This is about my mother! So just go home!" Regina shouted, tears threatening to ruin her makeup. Emma covered her mouth. The blow to her heart was too damaging to bear.

"I thought I was home." Emma whispered. Before Regina could say anything else, she turned and went to her car. Regina was quick to go back inside. Emma slammed her fists on her steering wheel. She slammed them again and again until she was sure that bruises would form. She cried and she screamed. No! She was supposed to be the one beside Regina during this whole mess. She was supposed to be there. She was supposed to hold her and catch her tears. She was the one who loved her! The revelation made Emma freeze. She was the one who loved her. She did love Regina. That was the feeling she felt in her chest, in her head, in her whole body. She loved her…Emma gazed up at the house. She couldn't go in now and proclaim her love. She had to go home. So, she turned the key in her ignition and drove off. She loved Regina White. She loved her so much. Emma decided she would get her back. She had to. She cried the whole way home.

Inside the house, Mal was attempting to cook some pasta at the stove while Regina and Henry sat at the breakfast bar. Zelena was on the phone and no one had seen Mary Margaret in hours.

"I think one of your burners is busted." Mal said. Regina didn't say anything at all. Henry just pressed himself harder into his mother's shoulder. He didn't know why Emma was sent away. He didn't know why Mal was here. He didn't know why Cora had to die. He didn't know anything, it seemed. It gnawed at him and he hated it.

"Do you want me to order out instead? Snow and I could go pick something up." Henry said to Regina. She looked down at him and pet his little head.

"Would you like that?" She asked. Henry pressed his head into his mother's chest.

"Would you?" He asked. His voice was so impossibly small.

"Yes. I think that's a good idea." She said. Henry nodded and set off immediately to complete his mission. Once he was out of the room, Regina seemed to slump lower into her chair.

"Hey." Mal said gently.

"Hey."

"The kid will be fine. You raised him well."

"I hope so."

Snow and Henry walked into the room, hand in hand. The young woman didn't look anyone in the eye, assuming Mal to be a probably accomplice in her father's murder.

"We're off! The usual?" Henry asked. They two women nodded and Henry dragged Snow out the door.

"She seems off." Mal observed. Regina shrugged.

"She was the one who gave Cora the coke. She probably feels guilty."

"Do you blame her?"

"For what? The guilt or Mother's death?"

"Both."

"What's the point? We're even now." Regina said gently.

"Is that so?" Zelena said, walking into the room. Mal and Regina exchanged an anxious look.

"What do you want, Zelena?" Regina asked, feeling more exhausted than ever.

"Nothing in particular. I take it you were responsible for your last husband's passing?" She asked slowly. Mal leaned over the breakfast bar and placed her hand on Regina's.

"Yes, I was, but I don't really want to talk about it right now."

"Of course." Zelena said.

"You're awfully understanding." Mal said, almost amused. Zelena shrugged.

"Ye without sins may cast the first stone."

"Fair enough." Mal nodded. Regina just sunk lower and lower into her chair.

"I just can't believe she's gone." Regina whispered. The tears came, hard and messy. Mal walked around the breakfast bar to hold her close. Regina sobbed, the pain ripping through her just like the belt, just like the mirror. All of her scars seemed to glow red hot.

"God, I hated her so much. I thought her death would be a blessing."

"Give it time, babe. Give it time." Mal whispered.

The days that followed were difficult. Funeral arrangements needed to be made. Board members needed to be called. Zelena and Mal helped where they could. Snow stayed strangely quiet through these affairs. After two days, Snow took Henry home to resume life as usual. Zelena said she would stay until the funeral was over. Mal stayed with Regina in the Long Island house. Regina couldn't bear to leave the house yet, not until the funeral was over. Her days were filled with talking about Cora with Zelena; all the good and bad of it. Her nights were filled with quiet whispers and desperate kisses with Mal. She hadn't meant to make this a sexual thing, but she needed somewhere to go sometimes. She needed something to break up the pain. Each thrust was like a knife in her soul. If it couldn't be perfect, then it had to be broken beyond repair. She was imploding and every scrape of Mal's teeth felt like freedom. If she could just break herself apart…then maybe she wouldn't have to miss Emma or Mother. If she shattered, then it wouldn't matter who she had been or who she needed to be. Nothing would matter anymore and wasn't that freedom? Wasn't it? After one particularly violent session, Mal asked Regina an important question.

"Regina, why did you send Emma back to New York?"

Regina's answer was to crawl up Mal's torso and rake her tongue across her neck.

"Regina."

"You talk too much." Regina purred. She threw her leg over the blonde's hips and scratched her way down to her bellybutton.

"And you do too much deflecting." Mal countered. Regina didn't listen. She ran her fingers over the places she had scratched, trailing kisses as she went. She teased Mal's clit with her index finger and slipped herself inside. Mal growled, sitting up. She grabbed Regina's hands and held them over her head. Regina's breath hitched. She licked her lips.

"Stop it. Talk to me."

"Fuck me."

"Regina. Stop it."

"Pound me into submission."

"Tell me what's going on with Emma."

"Break me, Mal!"

"Honestly, if you brought me here to be your scratching post then you have made a mistake. I'm here to help you, Regina. I'm not here to help you bury your feelings. What the fuck is wrong with you?" Mal snapped. Regina didn't want to hear this. She wanted to bury her feelings. She absolutely didn't want to talk about Emma.

"A lot. A lot is wrong with me, Mal. If you want to help me, then bend me over this bed and teach me a lesson. You're so good at that." Regina said.

"You're such a brat."

"I'm your brat."

"No, you're not!" Mal said. She was really getting pissed off now.

"Right now I am."

"You love her, Regina! I'm not fucking you anymore. I thought you just needed a break, but this has gone on long enough."

"No!"

"Yes! Yes it has. Cora died and that has clearly fucked you up. Deal with it! Call Emma and fucking deal with your life!" Mal said. Regina's face screwed up with rage and it quickly turned to terror.

"She can't see me like this!" Regina pleaded.

"It's who you are, Regina. You're messy and terrifying and amazing and beautiful! I'm your best friend, ok? No one knows that more than me. You're a fucking nightmare and I can only imagine what you were like when you detoxed. Emma saw that and she still wanted to be with you. Don't deny her the chance to love you. You probably think you're saving her, but you're not. You're fucking up." Mal said. Then, she let go of Regina's hands and got out of the bed.

"I'm going to go sleep in another room." Mal said gently. Then, she was gone. Regina was left kneeling on the bed. She couldn't call Emma. Not like this. The desperate creature who feeds on all the dregs of humanity was the not the person Regina wanted to be, not with Emma. This dark part of her was supposed to be under control. Regina cursed herself. She was supposed to be stronger than this. She was supposed to be in control. She crawled up to the top of the bed and laid her head on the pillow. It was sort of funny how, dead or alive, this was what happened when Cora was on her mind. Always here: In bed, tears streaming down her face. How was she supposed to go on without her? How was she supposed to go back to work without Mother? Mother had always guided her, always cared for her…Well, she had always guided her. No. Of course Mother loved Regina. Of course she did. She just didn't know how to love gently. Regina wasn't the great at it herself. She rolled over and grabbed her phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey." Emma said. Her mind swirled with fear and anger and something kind.

"How are you?"

"Really?"

"I'm sorry about the other day."

"…"

"…"

"I am too. I know you're grieving."

"I didn't mean for you to be there when Mal arrived…"

"Why? So you could screw her without feeling guilty?" Emma said, hostile but calm.

"Emma. You said I don't know you…but I don't feel like you know me either. I don't see how you could ever possibly love me…not like this." Regina whispered. Her tears returned and Emma could hear the quiet hiccups over the phone.

"Regina…Can I just come over?"

"Mal is still here."

"Are you still sleeping with her?"

"No."

"Then I will be there soon." Emma said. She disconnected the call and sighed. Was she being a fool? Emma had no idea whether or not this was a good idea. What she did know was that she missed Regina. She needed to see her. Emma threw her legs over the side of the bed and glanced at the clock. If she left now, she would be there by 11pm. Not bad. She threw some clothes into a duffel and headed out into the hallway of her apartment.

"Emma." James said.

"What?"

"Where are you going?"

"To see Regina." Emma said, ready for a fight. James sighed and leaned on the wall.

"I thought she was shacking up with Mal."

"She's not anymore."

"Emma, don't do this to yourself."

"I miss her, James."

"She hurt you." James reminded her, trying to be gentle. The anger he felt was so strong though.

"And was it always easy with Killian? Has he never hurt you?"

"It's not the same."

"Why not? Because I am an alcoholic? Because I had a slip up? That wasn't her fault, James."

"She just brings out the darker-"

"Don't you dare blame her for that!"

"Fine. I just don't want to see you fall."

"Then support me, James." Emma said. He nodded and walked over to her. He pulled her into a strong hug and they both took a deep breath.

"I love you, ok?" He said. Emma nodded.

"I love you too, bud."

"Take care of yourself." He said finally, then she left. The drive seemed too short and it didn't give her enough time to think. A huge part of her was angry with Regina and with herself. Regina had been sleeping with her ex for a few days. The thought of that made her skin crawl. Grief did weird things to people for sure, but it was no excuse. Regina was troubled for sure, but it was no excuse. Emma thought back to Lily. Lily has stopped things before they could get out of hand, but Emma had apparently initiated something. That was why she was driving back. Emma supposed she understood how high emotional turmoil could lead to poor impulse control…that didn't mean she had to like it.

Emma got to her apartment and threw the door shut.

"What happened?" James asked, concern clearly written on his face.

"She's fucking Mal again." Emma shouted. She threw her keys against the wall. Anger pulsed through her like fire and that fire wanted to devour. James was on his feet moving toward her.

"Hey. Let's just take a deep breath."

"Back off!" Emma snapped. She thundered into her room and placed her bag on the floor. She paced around it. She opened the bag and pulled out the prize: A bottle of the cheapest tequila she could find. She placed the bottle on her bed and stared at it. She didn't have to do this, but she did. She had to drink it. She needed it. Oh god, she needed it. The burn, the warm blanket, all of it. She needed this and no one was going to stop her. What did it matter if they did?

"Emma." James said, knocking on her door.

"Go away."

"No."

"I swear to god, James."

"I'm coming in." He said. She didn't have locks on her door. She hadn't allowed herself to have them. He saw the bottle and she dove for it and so did he.

"No!" He said.

"Fuck off!"

"No, Emma!" He said. They fought over the bottle, each person with a strong grip on the glass.

"I need this, James! Don't you take this away from me!"

"You worked too hard Emma!" He shouted, finally getting the bottle away from her. They were both panting.

"Just a little bit." She whispered.

"No."

"Please, James. Please." Emma pleaded.

"You will thank me for this later."

"James, please." She whispered, almost in tears again. He walked out of the room with the bottle and hurried to the sink. He dumped the whole thing into the drain and then walked to pick up her keys.

"Don't leave this apartment." He said, stern. He sounded more like a father than a friend. It was just like the old days, just like that.

"James. James, please."

When she finally pulled up to the house in Long Island, Emma felt like she could behave. No outbursts of anger. She could be gentle. Emma walked up to the door, but didn't bother to knock. The inside of the house was dark, looming with a sense of dread. Well, it wasn't going to work on Emma. She was here to see the woman she loved. She didn't care what it meant or what other people thought. She just wanted to see Regina.

"Emma." Zelena said. Emma jumped.

"Oh. Zelena. Uh, why are you sitting in the dark?"

"Oh, you know. Feelings, I think." Zelena admitted. She took a sip of her wine.

"I'm here to-"

"I know why you're here. You know, I'm sorry about the other day."

"It's cool. You were just trying to be a good sister."

"I was just trying to be a sister. I don't know if I can try to be a good one. I don't have much practice." Zelena said, sighing. Emma smiled.

"Go to her." Zelena urged, "She misses you too."

So, she did. Emma walked down the hall, to the door she suspected Regina was behind. She knocked gently. The door opened and there she was. Regina stood, in a satin night dress. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying. Her face was hesitant, frightened. Emma reached out and cupped her cheek.

"Hey."

"Hey."

Then their lips met and it was chaste. It was simple and wonderful. It was all they had been waiting for. When they pulled apart, Regina was smiling.

"I'm sorry." She said. Emma sighed and pulled her into a hug.

"I know."

"I do love you." Regina whispered," And I'm sorry for that too. My love is nothing but a burden."

"I love you too, Regina." Emma whispered.

Write a review. This is one of my favorite chapters that I have ever written. Regina is so tortured and I love it. Snow's revelation will come into play soon.