"Spinelli's the only person who doesn't seem to expect anything from me," Lulu told Dr. Winters. "Everyone else who comes to visit me keeps asking if I remember this or that, as if I'm suddenly gonna start remembering everything just because they ask me if I remember, or they try to shove their memories down my throat hoping I'll suddenly remember it, too."

"Spinelli doesn't do that?"

"No, he answers my questions, and he even made me this."

She showed her the cheat sheet.

"He seems to know what you need."

"He's a good friend. I asked him about my friendship with him before I lost my memory."

She was glad Dr. Winters had commented; it was a good segue into what she wanted to talk about. She supposed it was a psychologist's job to know that.

"He's been a better friend to me than I've been to him. I tried to gage my former self to find out how far I'd go to get what I want. Carly seems like someone who will do anything to get what she wants, even if someone she loves gets hurt and I wanted to see if I was the same way."

"What did you find out?"

"Well, I asked Spinelli what the worst thing I ever did to him was and then what the worst thing was that he ever did to me. I know other people can be biased about that, but Spinelli's the most honest person I know; I just know he's not lying. He gave me some examples. He thinks the worst thing he ever did to me was knock me unconscious."

"Why did he do that?"

"Well, that's the thing; the reason behind it was a good one. I was trying to go after Anthony Zacchara at the Black and White Ball. I asked Nadine and Elizabeth about it because they were there at the time and they corroborated Spinelli's version of what happened, not that I needed it. It just felt right, if that makes sense."

Dr. Winters nodded.

"It's always good to trust your instincts."

"I wouldn't listen to him. He said I couldn't leave, that it was too dangerous, and I just told him to watch me and strode for the door as if he didn't even matter. The worst thing he ever did to me was try to be a good friend and protect my life. I don't know what the worst thing I ever did to him was; I don't know if it was when I trashed him for not agreeing with me on something, put him in the position where he had to knock me out or chose the guy who humiliated him and beat him up instead of him. He didn't give me his opinion on that; he won't tell me for some reason what he thinks was the worst. He forgave everything I did. He doesn't think we should dwell on the past. The only reason he agreed to answer my questions about that was because I didn't remember. I had to remind him that the past doesn't exist for me."

"Have you written any of this in your journal?"

"All of it."

"Good; then whether or not you get your memory back you'll be able to look at that and be a better friend because you'll know what not to do."

"But how do I fix what I did?"

"It doesn't sound to me like you need to fix it; you're still friends, so he obviously forgave you. All you can do is learn from your mistakes and try not to repeat them."

"He's the only person who makes me feel safe."

"Your family doesn't?"

Lulu shook her head.

"They expect too much; Spinelli is patient with me. He doesn't try to force me to remember. Everyone else makes me feel like a horrible person for not remembering. I know they don't mean to, but they do."

"Have you talked to them?"

"Lucky just keeps telling me he wants me to remember. My dad and Nikolas just look at me like they're disappointed. Everyone else just looks sad, as if I've died or something and I'm just a ghost."

"Do you feel like a ghost?"

"Yeah, with everyone except Spinelli. Dr. Drake says I can go home tomorrow. Lucky says I live with him. I don't know if I wanna go back there."

"Then maybe you should go somewhere else."

"Where?"

"You could stay with someone else or get a room above Kelly's or Jake's."

Spinelli had told her about Kelly's and had mentioned Jake's in passing, so Lulu knew what she was talking about.

"Maybe," she sighed. "I hope I still know how to do my job; I'm a waitress at Kelly's."

As lulu was having her therapy session with Dr. Winters, Maxie was confiding her fears to Spinelli.

"Robin keeps telling me all the things that are happening to her body; she doesn't talk about anything but the pregnancy and the baby. I know it's all I've talked about today; I hope I don't make it part of every conversation I have for the next nine months."

"Pregnancy is new to both of you."

"I know, but I faked one before. I don't know how I managed to pull it off; the real thing feels nothing like what I did before."

As he listened to her talk, he observed that Maxie kept referring to the baby is Coop's, never hers. He supposed it wasn't real to her yet, or maybe it just made her miss Coop less. He only hoped it wouldn't interfere with her bonding with the child.

Later, he went back to the hospital to see Jason and Lulu. Because Lulu's room was before Jason's, he stopped there first. She looked upset.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm going home tomorrow."

"That's great!"

"It's good that I'll be out of here, but it won't be home to me. I don't know Lucky; I don't know the house is history and Lucky and my dad want me to remember everything."

"Being in familiar surroundings might help you remember."

"I don't know," she said in a worried tone.

"Spinelli," Dr. Drake said from the doorway.

"Does the Life Saving One need to examine The Blonde One?"

"Yes, but also, Jason needs to see you. I'll let him tell you why."

Lulu looked with concern at Spinelli's worried expression.

"Go ahead; we'll talk later."

Spinelli nodded and ran to Jason's room.

"Hey," Jason said.

"Greetings."

Spinelli tried to keep his tone casual, but Jason could see that he was upset.

"What's wrong?"

"I was just about to ask you that; Dr. Drake said you needed to see me."

"I need to go to Seattle to see a specialist in micro surgery."

"When do you leave?"

"In about an hour."

"OK, do you need me to get you anything from home?"

"No, thanks; I got everything I need. Don't look so worried; I'll be fine. I'll be back in a few days."

"It's not just you; The Blonde One is going home tomorrow, which is good, but-"

"She's afraid she's gonna feel like a stranger."

Spinelli nodded.

"I was in her position once. Tell her if it gets too much for her she can move back in with us."

"Really?"

"I know what it's like to try to meet everyone's expectations and not measure up; I went through the same thing with the Quartermaine's after I woke up from that car accident and didn't remember anything. But have her give it a few days with Lucky first; it may be different for her."

Spinelli agreed, but when he went back to Lulu's room, decided not to make the offer yet. He would wait to see how things played out at Lucky's house first. If Lulu thought it was getting to be too much for her, then he would offer to have her move into Casa De Stone Cold.

"What's wrong?" Lulu asked when Spinelli came back into her room. "You look upset."

"Stone Cold is leaving for Seattle in an hour; he needs to see a specialist about his hands."

He didn't tell her the other reasons he was upset. Lulu didn't remember Michael, who was missing. He and Jason suspected that he had been the one to shoot Kate Howard. Also, Spinelli was faced with the possibility of having to tell his friend that his mother was the one who hit Sam. He felt as if everyone he cared about was in pain and there was nothing he could do to help any of them.

"It's really sweet the way you worry so much about your friends, but it's not good for you. I mean, you look tired; obviously you never put yourself first."

"I've just been exceptionally busy the last few days; I'll get some sleep."

"Tonight," she said firmly.

"Tonight," he agreed, smiling.

Later, Lulu smiled affectionately as she watched him leave. So far out of all the guys she'd been associating with, he had been the only one to visit her frequently. Milo had come by once, but looked uncomfortable and had left quickly. Dillon was no longer living in Port Charles and Logan was in a coma because Lulu had put herself in a situation where she'd been forced to hit him with a wrench. She wondered where Johnny was. She didn't know whether or not she wanted to see him. She didn't remember a thing about her old life; the last thing she needed was more complications and one more person to try to please. For now, she decided, it would be better if Johnny Zacchara stayed away from her.