A/N: Thank you everyone for reviewing! I can't believe that I actually hit 100 reviews! It's such a big thing for me because I had never expected it to even reach 50 reviews heh. Okay I got this chapter out early because I'm going for another holiday. Yeah.
I forgot to mention that this chapter is unbeta-ed. So bear with me with any mistakes, please :-)
Warning: I think this chapter is very OOC (so much more OOC than the previous chapters) and I thought I'd warn anyone just in case.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize as the Queen's.
November 12th
Day 39
Friday, two weeks later.
The past two weeks had gone rather roughly for Hermione. She had gotten a lot more work lately and that had taken up her time and energy. Working in the Department of Law Enforcement was tiring and boring for Hermione.
It was 8 p.m. in the evening on a Friday night and Hermione was leaning over the dining table, a pile of paperwork on one side and a bowl of canned soup in front of her. She slurped her soup carelessly as she read the documents in front of her.
Hermione frowned as she read the complaint. It was idiotic. One witch was suing another witch for wearing the same dress robes at a Ministry Ball. The witch had barely a brain to begin with if she thought that Hermione would actually entertain these nonsensical tirades.
"Oh Granger, you're back? Is there dinner?" Draco bellowed as he Apparated into the flat. He walked over to Hermione and took a seat facing her. He wiggled his fingers in front of her, blocking her view of the paperwork.
"Granger?" Draco asked, getting slightly annoyed at being ignored.
Hermione pushed the remainder of her soup towards him. "I'm busy tonight. Find your own dinner."
Draco groaned and then he snatched the document Hermione was holding. "What is this rubbish – ohhh. Well, this is stupid."
"Indeed it is, now give it back," Hermione said, tapping her quill on the table. "It's stupid and ridiculous but it's work."
"What are you going to do about it?" Draco asked. "The case I mean – don't look at me like a gaping nitwit."
"For one, I would really like it if I could just take my wand and shred these documents into tiny little pieces but I can't. I think I'd just let both the witches off with a warning, making sure they don't give me nonsense like this ever again," Hermione said angrily, grabbing the document back from Draco.
"Why do you do this?" Draco had his elbows propped on the table, his hands on his cheeks as he frowned at her.
"Why do I do what?" Hermione asked, slightly exasperated.
"Your job," Draco started to explain.
"I have to work, you know," She said snidely.
"But here's the thing, you look like you bloody well hate it, no – don't say anything, Granger, your face tells me everything. You're annoyed with your job. You're annoyed with the idiots that give you your job. You look tired as hell when you come back from work every day."
"Don't start, Malfoy, please," Hermione gripped her quill tightly.
"Come on! It may have just barely been a month living with you, Granger, but honestly, you look like shit on weekdays. Don't deny it. You don't even have time for Aidan when you come home, and then you ask me why he likes me so much. To be frank, your job is a life-sucker."
"Malfoy, I really don't want to hear this right now."
"I don't even know why you're working in the DLE. It's all paperwork with no future. I thought you were better than all of this, Granger," Draco said. "I am disappointed in you."
Hermione glared at him. "Honestly, what brought this on? Was it that I didn't make dinner? Because we never agreed for me to –"
"No! It's because your job is fucking ridiculous! Just tell the first witch that she needs a new designer and tell the second witch to get some new fashion sense. I'm going out for dinner with Aidan since you're too busy for him," Draco snarled.
"What do you mean I'm too busy for him? I'm trying my hardest – "
"You work late every single day! And today, you're home early but what do you do? You bring your work home with you! I went to the Burrow today to pick Aidan up but they told me you had him. I thought perhaps you wanted to spend time with him but instead you come back and work!"
"Some people have to work, you know. I can't be like you – "
"Like me? For the past two weeks, I've been taking him home and feeding him and taking care of him! All you do are the night duties, like check if he'd shat in his diapers or not. You don't actually take the time to play with him or talk to him! And you wonder why he likes me better than you," Draco hissed and walked into his room, slamming the door in the process.
Hermione sighed and put her face in her hands. She hated to admit this, but Draco was right. She had started working in the Department of Law Enforcement with high hopes of being a well-known magical attorney. She had such ideals; to be fair to everyone, to defend the weak and uphold the honour of the accused.
She had been having some thoughts in her head for a while now.
Is my job really as bad as he makes it out to be?
Yes!
Do I really look that terrible when I come home from work?
Yes!
Do I – do I really not have time for Aidan?
YES!
Is that why he always seems so close to Malfoy?
YES!
Dammit, Hermione, you need to get a grip. For the first week, you were great, you were attentive and loving and caring – then you stopped. Why did you stop, Hermione?
Because I – I got caught up with work again.
You need to stop neglecting your son, Hermione! He is all you have, YOU ARE ALL HE HAS! You won't let him be Malfoy's boy, would you? Work is good, but your family should be your priority right now. If you don't learn it soon, you're going to lose something.
Hermione put her head in her hands as she let her thoughts take over her. The angel and devil on her shoulder were arguing mercilessly on her parenting skills. But no matter what they said, no matter how sharp the devil's tongue was nor how comforting the angel's words were, Hermione felt for the first time that she was a failure as a parent.
Draco lay on his bed, looking at the plain ceiling. He knew he was harsh on her. He had practically spat in her face the fact that she was a useless workaholic mother that even her child did not want.
Why did I do it? He asked himself. Wouldn't it have been better for her to just keep working? Then at least I could keep Aidan all to myself.
No, then it'll just be like my parents all over again but with the gender-roles reversed. Sigh. Granger needs to stop working herself so hard. Her big bushy head is getting bushier by the day.
Why did I tell her I was disappointed in her? Was it because she had scored all O's on her N.E.W.T.S when she retook her 7th year? Was it because I know that she could do so much better than just be another DLE attorney?
Yes.
The Granger I know would not have simply settled for a job that dealt with asinine cases like those.
But mostly, why do I care?
Draco groaned and sat up. His stomach was starting to make noises. He grabbed his clothes from the wardrobe and walked to the shower. After a quick shower, he messily dried his hair while putting on a dark green shirt and a pair of black trousers. He walked into the hall again, making his way to Hermione's room to get Aidan.
What he didn't expect to see was Hermione holding onto Aidan as hard as she could while sitting on her bed. What he didn't expect to see were her red eyes and fresh tears that were starting to form when she looked up to face him at the doorway.
"Fuck," He whispered.
"You're right," Hermione said, taking Aidan's hand in her own.
"What?" He asked, slightly puzzled. He took a few tentative steps towards her, stopping in front of her.
"Nothing," She replied, softer than earlier.
"I didn't mean to make you cry, Granger," Draco said, his head hanging down awkwardly.
"Of course, you didn't, just like all those years back in school where you didn't mean to make me cry either," Hermione replied apathetically, her attention now given to Aidan. "I hate to repeat it but you are right."
"Shit, I didn't know you'd take it this way – dammit, Granger," Draco said weakly. "Just, please stop. Please stop crying."
Draco, like most men, was never really good around crying girls. He found it awkward because he didn't know what to do apart from just stand there and watch them cry. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to pat her back or hug her. If memory served him correctly, after watching those Muggle television shows, the men normally kissed the tears away.
But he couldn't do that! She was Hermione Granger, after all!
Doing the next best thing, he sat next to Hermione and put a hand on her shoulder. "Please don't cry, Granger."
"You were right about everything. I hate my job. I suck as a mother. I'm a terrible person. I devote my time to something I don't even like doing while I neglect my son! What kind of person am I? I am nothing more than a robot if I keep on going like this!" Hermione cried out.
Crying and breaking down weren't something that Hermione would often do. She was a strong person; she stood by her heart and controlled her emotions. Today, it was different. She had so many emotions coming out at once; her dam had unleashed all the horrors within.
Sobbing on the shoulder of her once-enemy while holding a baby wasn't the wisest thing to do especially when the baby was crying himself.
"I c-can't even h-h-hold him without h-him crying!" Hermione sniffed, clutching at Aidan who was now wailing. "He d-d-doesn't even want me!"
Draco awkwardly extended his arm to hold her. "He – you should spend more time with him, you know? He needs to feel comfortable with you…"
She nodded slowly, blinking back her tears.
"Let's just go out for dinner, alright? That ruddy bowl of soup was a pathetic excuse for a meal," Draco said, a smirk graced his lips as he looked at Hermione and Aidan.
Hermione looked up at him, giving him a weak smile.
Draco let his arm fall back down as he stood up. "We'll leave in five minutes."
He extended both his arms and picked Aidan up. "And get dressed; you look like a downright mess."
.
.
.
"Table for – err, Granger, are we considered two or three?" Draco asked Hermione, who was carrying Aidan. She had finally gotten him to quiet down before they headed out to Muggle London.
"Two," Hermione pushed Aidan's light brown hair back.
The waitress gave them a tight smile before leading them to a booth seat near the back of the restaurant.
Draco scowled as he saw where they were headed to. "They can't possibly seat us at the very back, can they?" He whispered in her ear.
Hermione could feel the shivers tingling down her spine as he softly whispered to her. "Besides, I don't understand why you keep on insisting we eat in a Muggle restaurant."
"Privacy, Malfoy. I don't want Aidan exposed to the paparazzi of the Wizarding world so early in his life," Hermione muttered back, scooting into the booth seat. Draco sat opposite her.
"What's good to eat here?" Draco, muttering to himself; taking the menu from the table and flipped through it. "I don't think they can go wrong with steak and chips, right?"
They both ordered their dinner; Hermione had grilled salmon and sautéed vegetables while Draco ended up ordering the steak and chips. Hermione sat Aidan on her lap while she quietly ate her dinner, occasionally stopping to feed him his milk.
Hermione was still unsure whether she could feed him baby cereal or not, so she just settled for milk.
It was a quiet dinner, filled with awkward silence.
Hermione wouldn't even look up at Draco even though she could feel his gaze on her. Her little breakdown earlier was embarrassing enough and she couldn't take his snide remarks for today. Even though he did not have the intention of hurting her, he did a damn well good job of pointing out her flaws.
And Hermione just couldn't face him right now.
Draco picked at his chips with his fork as he thought of something to say. Should he say something comforting? He didn't even know if she was still upset from before. He slowly looked up to study her. She was smiling softly at Aidan as she put a piece of salmon into her mouth.
He sighed as he chewed his steak.
He was only twenty-three for Slytherin's sake! Was it odd for him to contemplate on his life while eating dinner in a random Muggle restaurant with his childhood enemy and their godson?
Perhaps.
But that was all that Draco was doing.
When he looked at Aidan, he could see his future. Draco could see himself sitting in his study, smoking a pipe or a cigar perhaps, laughing at Aidan's letters detailing his days at Hogwarts. Aidan was obviously going to be in Slytherin, without a doubt; even though he currently had a Gryffindor for a mother.
Somehow, Draco could only see himself. He could not picture any other children around him or even a wife. Was that all he was going to be? A lonely man with a son he had to share?
What was he coming to? What was he thinking?
Perhaps this was all he was bound to have: godson whom he'd already loved as if he was his own flesh and blood.
STOP BEING SO PESSIMISTIC, DRACO! He thought. You're a goddamn Malfoy, for crying out loud! We do not wallow in self-pity. We make our way in life, we make things ours!
Poking at the remainders of his chips, his thoughts were interrupted by a small cry. Draco looked up and saw Hermione trying to put Aidan back to sleep, rubbing his back and murmuring her mantra; just like how he taught her.
It would have been a perfectly cheesy and cliché thing to say that Draco knew in all his heart that that was what he wanted; that was his present and future.
But after all, he was still Draco 'The King of Denial' Malfoy.
"Are … are you done?" Hermione asked Draco softly after she had soothed Aidan. "With your meal I mean. It's getting late and …"
Draco nodded, wiping his mouth with his napkin and taking a sip of his water. "Would you care for desert?"
She fiddled with the sleeve of Aidan's jumper, deep in thought before replying a soft 'yes'.
"Wait!" Hermione said, as Draco put his hand up to call the waitress. "Just ask for the bill. I… I want to go somewhere else."
Draco nodded and fished out some Muggle pounds from his wallet and handed them to the waitress, who swiftly returned with the change.
As they walked out, he offered to carry Aidan, who was now sleeping soundly in her arms. Hermione gave him a small smile before handing him over.
"I need to ask you something. I've been thinking about it over dinner and – and I want – no, I need to know whether … one day … maybe a few years from now or something, are you going to – shit, this is hard," Hermione rambled on, tightening the scarf around her neck.
"What is it?" Draco asked, increasing his grip on Aidan who was sleeping on his shoulder.
"Are you – will you – have you thought about what we're going to do when Aidan grows up? Are you going to file in for sole custody?" Hermione said softly, holding her hands together. "Seeing as you think I'm such a bad mother and all…"
"Are you crazy, Granger?" Draco looked at her incredulously. "I made a promise to Pansy and I'm going to keep it. If she thinks you're good enough to raise her son as well as I am, so be it. I'm not going to subject Aidan to the experience of coming from a broken home."
"We're pretty broken enough, you know," Hermione mumbled back, turning left at a corner and walking into a small ice cream parlour.
"You can't break something that was never whole," He said, following her in.
Hermione shrugged and walked to the counter, ordering a scoop of mint ice cream on a cone.
Draco asked for a scoop of strawberry, balancing his wallet, the cone and Aidan all at once.
They walked out slowly, licking their ice cream before they were stopped by what seemed to be a random stranger.
"Hermione? Is that you?" A shrill voice rang through the night.
Draco turned his head to the side and looked at Hermione. She had a slightly pained expression on her face, like she wasn't at all interested in looking at this person.
"Gertrude," Hermione nodded politely. "How … nice to see you here."
"Christ! Is that the way you treat your cousin?" Gertrude replied with a laugh.
Draco felt like digging his eardrums. He stood there awkwardly licking his ice cream while Hermione and Gertrude had a glare-down. He felt his eyes move up and down, judging Gertrude's appearance and dressing.
She had long straight brown hair and was slightly taller than Hermione. Her clothes looked like Muggle designer clothes, nothing in comparison to Hermione's clothes. Her upturned nose was like Pansy's but somehow, Draco felt annoyed in her presence. It was definitely her voice.
"Well," Gertrude said, clapping her gloved hands together. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your handsome friend?"
"Gertrude, this is Draco. Draco, Gertrude," Hermione took a small step closer towards Draco.
"Pleasure's all mine," Gertrude gave him a big smile. "Oh, is that your son, Draco? He looks adorable!"
"You can't even see his face," Draco muttered. "I think we should go, Hermione. We have to put Aidan to bed."
Hermione nodded. "I'm sorry, Gertrude, but we must go."
Gertrude leaned in and air-kissed Hermione's cheeks. "See you around, love. You should come for my mum's Sunday brunches. We miss you so much! You can bring your friend and his son if you want to."
"He's not my friend," Hermione said.
"Oh, I must've been –" Gertrude started before she was rudely interrupted by Hermione.
"He's my boyfriend and that is our son," Hermione said, before walking off. "It was great seeing you too."
Gertrude stood there watching Hermione walk away with Draco. She blinked a few times, making sure that what she saw was correct. Her ugly cousin had gotten herself a fit boyfriend and a baby? Impossible! She shook her head and walked away. She needed to stay away from the alcohol.
.
.
.
"Boyfriend, Granger?" Draco asked while Hermione fiddled with the flat keys.
"I hate her. She would tease me about my lack of boyfriends all the time. Don't let it get into your head, Malfoy. You just happened to be there at the right time," Hermione opened the door.
Draco walked into the apartment and put Aidan in his crib. He then sat down on the sofa.
"I want to get a few things cleared up with you, Granger. I don't know what's going to happen when Aidan grows up, or how are we going to sort him out before he goes to Hogwarts. It's too soon to think about these custody things and I don't really want to think about it," Draco crossed his legs.
"But we have to think of it, don't we?" Hermione asked.
"Yes, but not right now. Now, he needs the both of us to at least give him a stable family background," Draco replied.
"I thought we agreed that we weren't the most stable family anyone could have," Hermione snorted, pulling her legs up and hugging her knees.
"We're not. But we're sort of trying, right?" He gave her a small smile. "Don't worry so much. Just spend more time with him."
"You really love him, don't you?" She asked softly.
He gave her a small nod.
"I think… I think I might come home earlier now and you know, spend time with him and all," Hermione said.
"That's a good start," Draco muttered, turning his head to the right to face hers. Staring into her eyes, he wondered how he could not have noticed it before. Some might call her eyes plain but he saw them as liquid pools of chocolate, warm and brown. And he liked it.
She sighed and scooted closer to him. "We're really messed up, aren't we?"
Hermione stared at his side profile. He had a strong jaw, although not as pointed as it was before. His long straight nose was beautiful, like it had been carved to perfectly form his face. And his eyes, she had always thought his eyes were steely and cold all the time. But at times like these, she saw that they were just like molten silver.
"Yeah, we are," Draco replied.
The sat in silence, watching the fire in the fireplace crackle. The warmth from the fire heated them both up.
"I don't want to be messed up anymore," He mumbled, running a hand through his un-gelled hair.
"Neither do I," She said.
More silence.
"Isn't it strange, Granger? How we can fight all the time but a day when I don't argue with you, it just doesn't feel complete?" Draco leaned his head back on the sofa.
"It is. I think we've gotten so used to insulting and arguing that it's become a norm to us," She whispered back. "Quarreling and bickering, that's just us."
"You're right. After all, a day without arguing with you – fuck, this sounds weird but … you know, that day's just no good," Draco stood up and gave her a forlorn look before walking to his room. "Goodnight, Granger."
A/N: It wasn't too bad, I hope... And yeah I kind of used a quote from HIMYM but ... yeah. I'm just rambling right now.
I guess what I wanted to do was portray Draco as a caring father figure to Aidan, who was somewhat annoyed at the fact that Hermione was always working all the time. I think parenthood can really change a person and it has somehow changed Draco.
Constructive criticism is much appreciated (actually anything that can help me improve my writing/characterisation is very much loved) so please, anything you want to point out, go ahead.
Thank you for reading and please review!
