Lost Heart

Chapter 7

Note: Sorry it took so long to update. My computer crashed and I have no word at home!


Sakura sat at her small kitchen table with a steaming cup of tea in front of her. Syaoran sat across from her, his arms crossed, observing Sakura. Sakura nervously smiled at him as she tugged at her sleeves, trying to cover her bandages. Syaoran's brow furrowed as he looked down at her arms and caught a glimpse of her bandage.

"Tomoyo told me what happened." He said. Sakura flinched and looked away. Syaoran leaned in closer to her. "Tell me why Sakura. Why did you hurt yourself?"

Sakura shook her head, closing her eyes. "I can't Syaoran. I just…I can't."

He stood up abruptly, causing his chair to tumble backwards. "Why the hell not?! Look at you Sakura! You're skinny as a kid! Your hair is lanky; you've cut yourself so bad you ended up in the hospital! What the hell is going on?" He grabbed her arms and stared into her eyes.

Sakura started crying. She threw his arms off her. "What the hell does it matter to you anyway? You tell me you love me and then you disappear to Hong Kong. I haven't heard from you in years Syaoran. If you really cared about me you would called. Christ, you could have emailed me! The only reason you came here was because Tomoyo told you what I did!"

Syaoran stared at Sakura in shock. She was shaking violently and her cheeks where drenched in her tears. She wiped at her eyes angrily. "There's no way I can tell you Syaoran. Not now."

Sakura sat back down and drank her tea. Syaoran picked up his chair and sat down at the table. "I'm sorry Sakura. I shouldn't try to force anything out of you. You're right. I should have called you."

Sakura sniffed and looked up. "Why didn't you? Why did you just abandon me?"

Syaoran sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "There was…this girl Sakura."

Sakura felt her heart squeeze in her chest. Syaoran continued. "We met at college. I fell in love with her and we were married before I graduated. She was pregnant with my child and three years ago she died after giving birth. I know it sounds cliché. Her uterus wall had ripped open and the doctor's couldn't stop the bleeding. She refused a hysterectomy and was pronounced dead four hours after our daughter was born. Her name was Aiko and I named our daughter after her."

Sakura could not say anything. She sat there stone faced as Syaoran told her about the woman he had loved and lost. The woman he had left her for. She said nothing when he said he had always loved her and after Aiko's death had decided that Sakura was the only one for him. Syaoran looked at Sakura, waiting for her to say something.

"What do you want me to say?" Sakura whispered, looking up at him. "You left me and fell in love with someone else. Be honest, if she was still alive would be here right now, telling me that you love me?"

Syaoran was silent for a moment. "No." He said. "Besides, it seems I'm too late anyway." He pointed at the ring on her finger.

Sakura remembered her visitor in the hospital. She shook her head. "It's not an engagement ring. I'm single."

Syaoran's eyes brightened. Sakura stood. "It's late Syaoran, and I have to work tomorrow. Call me at four."

Syaoran walked to the door. Before he left he kissed Sakura on the cheek. "I'm so sorry I hurt you Sakura. I hope you can find it in you to forgive me. I would love for you to meet Aiko."

Sakura half heartedly smiled. "Goodnight Syaoran."

"Goodnight Sakura."


Sakura did not sleep well that night. She tossed and turned, worried about her situation with Syaoran. She woke half an hour early and pulled herself out of bed. Yawning, she made her way to the bathroom. Sighing at her reflection, she began the tedious task of her makeup and hair.

After Sakura had finished her face, she rummaged through her closet and pulled out a pale pink blouse and light grey pencil skirt. She pulled off her nightgown and stopped to look at herself in the mirror. The faint outline of ribs was becoming visible and her already small breasts were shrinking. "Stupid." She muttered to herself as she buttoned up her blouse.


Sakura stretched as she looked at the clock behind her desk. She still had an hour to go until her shift was done. Sakura had recently started a secretary job at Tomoeda's elementary school and today was going by slowly. Only two kids had forgotten a lunch but Sakura was always well prepared. She always had something. One kid got a blister, another one scrapped her knee and she had one little boy in the sick room.

"Kinomoto-San?"

Sakura looked up. "Yes?"

"Can you please fax these for me and also call Ichiro's mother? He needs to be picked up. He had an accident."

Sakura nodded, picking up the phone.

"Hello?" Sakura asked, answering her phone.


"Sakura? It's Syaoran. Can you meet me for dinner at 5:30 tonight?"

Sakura looked at her watch. "Okay. Where?"

"I'll pick you up."

"Okay, see you then." Sakura said and hung up her phone.

She stood and walked over to her closet. She chose an elegant green sweater and a pair of black slacks.

"Where are you going?" Kero asked curiously.

"I have a dinner date with Syaoran. There's pizza in the microwave and pudding in the fridge."

Kero grinned. "Okay. Have fun."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Doesn't take much for you, does it?"

Right on cue, there was a knock on Sakura's door. Syaoran stepped in. Sakura gasped. He looked amazing! He was standing in a new black suit with the blazer opened casually, sans tie. He smiled at her.

"You look good." He said. "Ready to go?"

"Uh…almost. I just have to brush my hair." Sakura said and stumbled over to the bathroom. She touched up her hair and breathed deeply, trying to calm herself. Sakura had promised herself not to get involved with Syaoran, but she felt her love for him surfacing again. She frowned at her reflection while she waved her engagement ring in front of her face.

"Okay, I'm ready now." Sakura said, grabbing her jacket.


Syaoran pulled up to the Orchid Gardens and handed his keys and some money to the valet. "Thank you sir."

The two of them walked up to the doors, Sakura silently kicking herself for not dressing better. Syaoran noticed her frustrated look and smiled. He felt happy for the first time in a long while.

"For two, under Li Syaoran, please."

The hostess smiled at him. "Right this way please." She led Sakura and Syaoran to their table and shortly after she left the waitress arrived to give us menus. Syaoran ordered some tea for the both of them and started flipping through his menu. Sakura pretended to glance through hers, already chosen what to order. Syaoran looked up at her.

"Anything thing you want Sakura. Don't limit yourself. It's my treat."

She nodded, but her choice remained. The waitress soon returned. "Have you decided?" She asked. Sakura noticed her checking out Syaoran. 'Oh, for Christ!' She thought.

"Yes. I will get the tuna sashimi with salted edamame please."

The waitress smiled. "Of course. And for you?" She asked, turning her attention to Sakura.

"Just a tossed salad please with light Italian dressing."

"Yes, miss." The waitress said smiling. She took their menus and left.

Syaoran looked at her, frowning. "Fine. But we're having cheesecake after."

Sakura glared at him. "Maybe you are."


Okay so there we are. Sorry about the delay in updating. I have been so busy with school work and work. I got my first criticism the other day. It wasn't constructive. Just someone saying they thought my story was retarded and that they didn't like it. Personally, I found it hilarious. I mean, if you don't like it, don't read it! It's just common sense. And why would you even bother to comment on something you don't like, just to tell them you think it's retarded?

Anyways, feel free to review and let me now how I'm doing.

Thanks so much!