Connie and Snow Quartz bond as Connie is forced to look within herself and whats happening with her.
Such a personal question, that Connie was left surprised and dumbfounded on how blunt that came across.
A part of her got angrier than the time she had that huge dispute with Steven, but she reminded herself of the times she was home, staring at the roof while in bed, thinking over and over of her own feelings. Oh she had tossed and turned on the occasional sleepless night. Even looking back now, especially the time they had a picnic together, she had the gall to attempt to kiss him to make him feel better...had her headache not stuffed things up.
It was a literal blessing in disguise...as time went on she told herself on how stupid that attempt was. Okay, she'll admit that someone as magical and kind and Steven did stir in a preemptive crush within her, a molded fire in her belly that inflamed her every time she thought about him (which she had mistaken for a stomach ache one point) but as far as Connie understood at the time, she hungered for something more in her life and she had it right in front of her.
The occasional incident did worry Connie, especially after the time he told her about his confrontation with Jasper in space...and all that entailed. It opened his eyes to the true danger, not to mention opening Connie's eyes as well. Well, even more so than after her cured her sight. That he was a kid like her and expectations to nailed down on him like he was an adult.
It allowed her to feel more connected to him, with Connie knowing the same exact, breath choking pressures. Their fusion as Stevonnie was proof of their similarities and their...must she say it, affection towards one another.
As she stared out into the ocean, reminded of their dance together by the ways, recalling that first instance of being engulfed in pure light and suddenly finding herself as Garnet put it, an experience, it couldn't have made her happier to finally be a part of which she desired for a long while. Fusion was the least of her predictions but the feel of the magic in and around her took some getting used to, but she wouldn't have had any other way.
Stevonnie was what they had shared and it was theirs and theirs alone. A part of what Connie had created with Steven, like they were their child, but watching that child be the best parts of them.
She's had many conversations with Garnet about this when Steven would be elsewhere. Garnet loved what Connie brought out of Steven and supported their friendship on the highest amount of respect...and would tell of stories on how Greg and Rose went through similar motions to get where they had been before Steven was born. However, Garnet urged Connie to be patient and careful around Steven as needs more time to suss out his own feelings and how with conversations with Amethyst noted that Steven repressed a great of his true feelings within himself and how she was sick to death of him holding out, hypocritical to how wants others to express their deepest emotions.
Pearl on the other hand, encompassed the traits Connie admired the most and aspired to achieve. Loyalty, strength and skill, not to mention bravery and a strong will. She had pledged herself to Steven, transformed her feelings into something useful and while she couldn't love him the way she originally wanted, she gained the necessary abilities to be more than what she was...
Then...a part of her broke as Steven did not want her to do this. Shards of her emotions, stabbing her in her stomach as he called for her to stop. He wanted them to be jam buds, equals on the battlefield. Words she had not anticipated. The shards became her sustenance however, allowing her to realize that this was their balance and their team work allowed them to ebb and flow with one another. This was what Stevonnie was.
Even then, this was a part of Steven she had never known that she wanted to see. Standing up not for himself, but for her own mental well being. With renewed resolve, he taught her so much with such a short time frame. Even with their uplifting ups and depressive downs, their friendship remained resolute, as hard as Diamond.
But Steven's growth, especially when dealing with some of the most powerful beings in existence, opened up his power even more. Sure, there were times where he'd still do stupid things that make her scared for him, he'd manage to pull through. Their talk at Kevin's party...he'd taken it to heart. Then she had so many feelings flowed through her on Homeworld, but they didn't matter, since she could see in Steven's eyes that while he wasn't scared, he was outright miserable since it was like the hard work he put in to try to get things right fell flat. His slouch, his solemn expression...seeing him look like Pink Diamond...it wasn't Steven. He was locked away within himself, unable to act like Steven should.
She knew how that felt, although his pain was worse. Under immense pressure to perform well and to behave the way that 'she' should have behaved. Taking him to the dance floor was the only way to make a lost cause worth something. Stevonnie was not intended and it did sour the mood and crunch Steven's plan big time. It was...an equally stupid thing to do. A Steven grade silly thing. He didn't blame her for it, didn't get angry with her for fusing...he was already down in the dumps, predicatively blaming himself for losing control.
Connie knew within her heart, that she needed to remind him that he's not only human...in part, but he needs to be himself to succeed. If that means picking him up again time after time, so be it. If he allows her, then...
"Uh...well...that's...that's a...I...umm...oh my..." Connie said, feeling her cheeks burn red hot as she turned away, rubbing the back of her neck.
"It's okay, you don't have to answer." Snow told her.
"I'm inspired by Garnet's situation...connecting the dots and collectively gaining data, I'm still trying to decrypt the feeling of love and its power to affect others."
Snow was an odd gem. Seeing how she was here to observe made Connie wonder on how much she knew about humanity.
Stories about cross species relationships would dip into the topic of how drastically contrasting some species could be. Even same species have the same difficulty, the more Connie thought about it.
"Well, you could say there's not just one type of love you can have." Connie told her.
"There's a familial love, one has with members of their family. A strong bond either by birthright or even by acceptance of others into your own."
A tilt of the head and a curled finger resting against Snow's lips as her eyes shot straight forward meant she was trying to suss out what Connie meant.
"Platonic love is pure friendship. Two or more people can join in with having fun with another and simply enjoying ones company. It makes you feel good inside, being with them."
One that Connie fought for and won huge in her opinion.
"Then...the one I assume you're after is romantic love. That's...the most muddled...and hard to explain."
One she's tried to figure out for a while now. If her feelings had gone so deep as to fully admit it. But she liked what she had with Steven now and didn't wish to ruin their already established friendship. He was a lover not a fighter overall and perhaps he understood and cherished love more than most people she knew...it made her wonder if she underestimated his true feelings.
"But the Ancient Greeks, a old group of historical humans believed in seven types of love. We'll find you a copy of how they interpret the many meanings when we go to the library next."
The look on Snow's face almost made Connie laugh as she mentioned it, clasping her hands together and grinning all the while. A pure joy, radiating from her persons.
"Oh Connie they sound...divine. Human nature confounds me to this day. Gem kind could really benefit with such wisdom, however. Romantic love...I'm guessing that's responsible for the desire to kiss another's face?" Snow said, appearing abstract.
Connie couldn't help but giggle at the thought of it. The relationship between Ruby and Sapphire would be the perfect representation of what Snow was attempting to decode, but then Snow's face fell, as she frowned, putting her hand on her heart.
"I'm sorry if that sounded odd to you. I've asked so many people so far...some have attacked me for even asking questions about it. I've seen a lot of hurt in my travels and in stories I've read, that love is a power understated and with it's purity it can bring out the best...and the worst in people. Gems know of loves existence, but in a way our culture sees it much differently to other species."
That...was horrible to envision.
"Sometimes you can't help but love people in a certain way." Connie told her as she put her hand on Snow's back.
"And sometimes...people can voice their own feelings on how a person should love another. The comments aren't always nice...and it can lead to a lot of anguish because people will be horrible and force their opinion on you on what love should entail...in between who to love and what love is supposed to be."
She's heard conversations with her parents in the sense, once originally worried on her relationship with Steven was going to end up. They weren't terrible just...they were just being cautious, Connie could get that...but if she was to grow up and be independent, she needed to make her own opinion heard and find out these things for herself.
It was then Connie shivered, almost forgetting she was in her pajamas as the chill of the night almost got to her. It was then Snow picked her up all of a sudden and sat down, crossing her legs then placing Connie in her lap, wrapped her cloak around her to keep her warm. Connie blushed with the unexpected, but welcome gesture.
"Thanks." Connie said, smiling from ear to ear as she could see her breath escaping her mouth.
Snow was equally happy.
"My pleasure."
The two talked into the night, about love. But Connie could smell an unusual fragrance coming from the cloak that surrounded her as they spoke. It wasn't unpleasant, but it was floral in nature. She wondered how a gem could smell so...calming? Or maybe it was just the cloak. It was comfy, soft and warmer than she had expected. It was a type of relaxation she hadn't felt for a long time. It was then Connie's eyelids became heavy with fatigue, staring out in to the sky above them as the stars became blurry. Her mental state was in limbo, like she was in limbo between reality and a dream. She focused on a single star in the distance, clinging on it's faint, yet welcoming light. The world became pinker as she tried to focus her sight on staying awake as automatic response to her desire to continue talking, fighting off sleep like it was a dark prison for her. Until that was all she could see. The prison become her vision, locked away for unknown crimes. Connie wasn't clear on what she did wrong, dreading in this unawakened cage.
A light burst into existence, turning into Steven who was in his Pink Diamond costume and his back to her.
She whispered his name and tried to reach out to him, only for him to turn around with an angry expression on his face...and his iris was pink and his pupil in the shape of a Diamond. His lips moved but all she heard was static. Her heart pained as she'd never seen him this...no...she had...and it was equally terrifying, a manner in renegade to what shew knew.
"Steven, I...I don't...know what you're trying to tell me..." She muttered weakly, unable to understand what he was saying to her.
The static soon turned into a high pitched noise that aggravated her as Steven motioned his hands around. She tried blocking her ears, but only made the noise into a low, demonic growl. She grew fearful as Steven grew angrier, approaching her and grabbing her by her pajamas, as her heartbeat quickened and got louder, almost in sync with the growls. But as his words became clearer, just barely, shadows began to appear around them. He dropped her down as he pulled out his shield. Connie could have sworn she told him to run, as the shadows just jumped on top of him. The static then returned as he was overrun by shapeless creatures. Connie tried to reach for him again, only for her to be pulled away as he was consumed.
Silence.
She woke up in a sweat and looked at her surroundings. She was still in Steven's bed as she felt the soft blanket underneath her fingers. Her eyes were drawn to the window next to her, as a blizzard roared on outside. The room remained void in the quiet, with the only noises she really heard were of the howling winds outside and the subtle breathes of Steven laying down on the couch near her.
A knot grew in her stomach as she pressed her hand against it, as she slipped out of the bed momentarily, peering over the edge to see Steven splayed out on the couch as he slept peacefully, though with half the blanket falling off him coupled with a single leg poking out. A smile escaped her as she allowed sight to relax her and to regain lucidity after her odd dream. But she then heard the warp pad go off, causing her a minor bit of panic as she jumped out of bed, but only peered an eye out to see Pearl with Snow, as well as Labradorite beside her. Curious, she honed her ears to their conversation.
"I've never really thought about it's effects on humans." Said Pearl, as she and Snow gathered around in the kitchen.
"Fusion is a natural process...I had my reservations on the first time they fused. With enough training and development, we believed they worked so well together that we never considered side effects."
They must have been talking about Stevonnie.
"Since Steven and Connie have enjoyed it so much...it doesn't surprise me." Snow commented.
"Everyone has an Aura. Except the aura Diamonds give off are much stronger and more noticeable from a distance. You could call a normal version a regulated light essence...or what the humans call a soul. The very fabric of our being."
Was...was there something wrong with her?
"Souls huh? I wonder if Steven...hmm...I don't think Pink..or Rose really thought the whole...giving birth to Steven issue through. Besides sacrificing herself for his existence, which was what she wanted, we were left in the dark about what Steven really is. I mean, yes he's a hybrid but it left us wondering how we were going to deal with him." Pearl continued.
"Over time we gradually...just fell in love with him..."
Familial love...but from what Steven had told her on past occasions, the gems weren't able to completely grasp their own as well as Steven's emotional desires, leading to him, someone who had to figure it all out at his age instead of doing kid things and learning with other people, to "deal with superpowered children"" who were much, much older than him. Connie deep down understood she still needed to figure herself out overall and her own true feelings and fears into the foretold puberty stages with hormones and whatnot, but was glad Greg and herself could be there when it would be too much.
"So many conflicting feelings but...as is our own core nature we had to fight against, it became easier to accept Steven for who he was...not what he was."
Gems were static and ironically unchanging. But it made Connie feel happy for Pearl to admit that and within that moment of discovery to what Connie believed, was that was what humanity should attain as a goal.
"Connie mentioned this as a series of emotional love spectra. From the current social status quo, Fusion is triggered by a type of love or intense desire that links auras or souls. These souls have recognized each other over time, no matter how foreign they are. Steven has a bit of both, leading to impart the criteria for the trigger on her part and his. It forces her cellular structure to reform to adjust to Steven's, thanks to his unique hybrid nature. While yes it doesn't matter what he is, my main worry is for what it means for others affected by him." Snow explained.
Gems have Auras. Humans have souls. Steven has...both...as befitting his nature of course. But Snow stating its effect on other people like Connie herself could mean much more they never even considered thinking about.
"Whether or not its something that could be gem related or specifically unique to him because he holds a diamond I don't know. There's been no pool of data to test from, but if in the matter that Diamonds hold the seeds of our creation, could also mean that like his mother, his very essence could fundamentally change someone biologically. Your own observations matter in this point that could prove that this might be the case with Connie and that, it might just be an extremely slow change if she's lucky, she will experience mutations through out her life."
Odd. Connie didn't feel funny and her mother still subjects to health checks and blood tests every so often. After Steven cured her sight and after her mother found out, her mum said she had to see another optometrist to get a second opinion so people wouldn't freak out. Pearl then started to bite her fingers due to her anxiety.
"You told me about Lion and Steven's friend Lars and how they were brought back to life through tears. If the love between Steven and Connie sees them fuse in tense situations where their emotions would be running high, it would be a fair paced transition. Not quite developing right away...I'd be worried once she hits human puberty."
Oh...oh no. This made Connie paranoid. She couldn't just stop being Steven's friend obviously. But they would have to halt fusing for a while, not until they would be adults, since Gems are what they are by default so then...perhaps the mutations could stop entirely or be agonizingly slow that she would be long dead before...no, she shouldn't think that. Lars scenario didn't seem all bad. It was mostly a visual mutation...as well as the slight magical abilities that he inherited. Don't get her started on Lion...
"Poor Connie...I...I don't know..." Pearl stammered as she turned to Connie, who had her back turned to them as she quickly shift and laid on her side.
"We fused with Steven not because of his gem, but through the bonds we all shared with him over time...and its true that love was part of that."
It wasn't that the gems were ignorant of love, absolutely far from it, as with Pearls love for Rose, Garnets existence and even Steven's existence. Amethyst was another story entirely.
Part of it was figuring out how their actions could affect the love they had for each other and making sure they worked together as a team. A family.
"But she's still growing and I had not once thought about the effect on the human genome her exposure could be. But...we're not radioactive! You don't think...she'll get sick do you?" Pearl voiced with ongoing worry.
"I don't know, honestly." Snow sighed.
"It will be entirely dependent on Stevens magical potential with the Pink Diamond Gem. As part human, he'll one at point, maybe go through the same issue. Quicker than Connie...it remains to be seen. But promise me Pearl..."
Connie turned to see Snow grabbing onto Pearls hands and her eyes steeled with warm, serious intent.
"Whether or not the changes are going to be good or bad...you'll need to be with her every step of the way and not make her feel like she's all alone in this." Snow urged Pearl, who was stunned at her request.
"I...I uhh...sure I suppose. Do you think I should tell her? Or better yet, should I tell Steven? I'm just as wary of telling him as I would be telling her. If I tell him, he'll freak out...I think." Pearl said as she pondered the very thought.
Beside the fact Connie could hear everything, she'll have to have sort out her own feelings on the problem. No one knows whats going to happen however, so everyone else is in the dark as she. Hiding it from Steven...has its positives and negatives but he'll have to find out. As Pearl began to freak out herself, Snow had to do something to calm her down.
"You know Steven best. You'll know when the time is right. But...this is just an opinion of mine of course. I didn't mean to cause this. It was an assumption built out of an observation...that's all." Snow told her.
Pearl shook her head.
"No..no, you're not to blame...nor did you do anything wrong." Pearl assured her.
"It's uhh...good to get these things...dealt with before they could potentially get worse. I'm not the best at dealing with humans, I'll freely admit."
Snow smiled as she let Pearl go.
"None of you were well equipped for Steven's hybrid nature. For all we know, Connie could end up being adjusted into some kind of gemless gem...if that's what the nature of the power is of course.'' Snow told her.
A hybrid herself. That would be something. Now she was really curious of what Steven would think of that. His reaction could vary between happy that he's not alone or sad because he'd be worried that he'd hurt her in some way. She was confident in letting him know that she could pick him on the type of zero intentions to hurt someone if it could be helped. His passive nature wouldn't allow him.
To Connie herself, she could imagine the pros and cons of inheriting something like that. When she said she wanted to be a part of his universe...she didn't mean to go that far as to help him. It was all meant to metaphorical not this literal transformation into being what he is. In a way, that could help him but he was already comfortable with who he was now. After everything he was subjected to, he had no quarrels with his existence. He could be free to be who he wanted himself and he couldn't be happier with it.
Her own journey could be similar although, without a gem herself it'd be hard to say what would become of her own being as she grew up. Could she really steer clear of becoming Stevonnie again if the cause would force their hand to fuse again and again, magically changing her overall and becoming like Lion and Lars? What would her parents think? She promised not to lie to them anymore but to where her health was at risk would give her mother a heart attack and stop Connie from hanging out with him again.
It was then there was a knock on the door, albeit very soft, followed by the door opening. It was Greg who was covered in snow. He looked at the beds and saw Steven sleeping on the couch as Connie quickly closed her eyes again. His footsteps were soft as she heard Steven groaning with annoyance and shuffled underneath his blankets.
"Sorry, the weather out there is getting pretty bad...oh hi Snow..." He said, surprised to see the white gem there.
"Oh you were the man with the van right?"
Connie continued to listen in as Greg introduced himself as Steven's father, which, not to Connie's surprise, grilled him with all these questions about Steven's creation, but then stopped when she realized on how personal that sounded. They chatted about the current scenario, with Greg warning against further travel.
"I checked with the weather forecast. Tomorrows weather is going to be a lot worse. Outside? It's just getting started. I was gonna hang ten here for the night, but it might be too packed I see." Said Greg.
Pearl smiled, then frowned.
"It's a shame, those two were really looking forward to exploring tomorrow. I'll go get the spare sleeping bags..."
It was a shame...really...but Connie now struggled to fall asleep, with the one thing on her mind was how her body was going to develop. But she allowed her eyes to close, until she was left back to dream...
