Chapter 6: Awakening
Jareth didn't dream that night. He woke up around five in the morning, but his guilt and shame prevented him from enjoying the proximity of Sarah's body next to this. Jareth quietly got out of bed and took a quick shower before fixing himself a cup of coffee. Conflicted, he still didn't know what direction to go in as he stared at the city waking up before his eyes.
He didn't realize that an hour had passed until he heard Sarah's footsteps approach him.
"Good morning." She softly said, her hair slightly messed up.
Jareth, shaken out of his spell, smiled as he looked at his beloved victor. Sarah took a seat next to him, her fingers awkwardly danced on the tabletop as each one waited to see who would speak first.
He observed her, not hiding his joy with having her next to him. The two would stare at one another for a few seconds, then glance elsewhere. Jareth, once again, felt like a teenager trying to build up the courage to ask a girl to dance.
"Would you like to grab breakfast with me?" Jareth asked.
"Not like this. I'm a mess, and I'm desperate for a shower." Sarah spoke.
"Well, we could just arrange to meet somewhere and you can go back to your flat and freshen up or…"
"Or?"
"Or, you can show me where you live. I'm very patient, and I can wait while you get ready."
Sarah's cheeks were reddening slightly from his innuendo.
"I seem to remember you mentioning The Strand." Sarah reminded him, trying to deflect his attention away from her.
"That may be the highlight of our day." Jareth said, now clutching Sarah's fingers with his.
There was no mention of their conversation the night before. It was as if her confession was completely erased from their relationship record.
One hour later Jareth walked around Sarah's simple studio apartment. Sarah was in the shower and he used it as an opportunity to delve head first into her world. Her wardrobe was minimal with lots of black. He now understood the long sleeved tops were used to cover up her scar, but Jareth focused his attention on the various photos she had placed around her apartment.
Many of the photos of her family included her, but Jareth noticed that her smile was simply a facade. He was only seeing a mirror image of Sarah, not the real Sarah. The pictures that appeared to be taken after her time away were the saddest. Yes, she smiled, but it was a shadow of his Sarah. The only photos that revealed true joy were ones where it was just Sarah with her younger brother.
Her bookshelf was a thing to be admired, and in the corner was Mischa in all of his glory. Jareth saw sheet music spread out on a music stand. He was tempted to try and play her instrument, but a part of him thought it would be disrespectful. Lost in her world, he didn't hear the shower stop, nor did he notice Sarah walk out of the bathroom fully dressed. Her hair was still wet, but she looked immaculate.
"What is it with you and dark colors?" Jareth asked.
"It's standard orchestra attire. We're expected to don only black, so I don't bother experimenting with color very often." Sarah responded as she combed out her hair.
"Normally I'd say, let this air dry," Sarah said, pointing to her dark tresses, "but it's cold outside and I can't afford to get sick. I shouldn't be longer than 10 minutes."
"I'm in no rush." Jareth said as he found himself staring at a postcard that was pinned on her fridge door. It appeared to be a painting. The colors were chaotic, yet strangely organized. He found himself fascinated with the black lines and the various shades of blue, red, and yellow. He didn't notice Sarah step beside him, her hair dried and pinned up in a loose bun. He must have focused on it for ten minutes.
"What's caught your interest?"
"This postcard. What is this?" Jareth asked, his curiosity genuine.
"It's a painting by Kandinsky."
"I'm fascinated, and I don't know why."
"It's a personal favorite of mine. Kandinsky believed that each color can represent a particular emotion. I once read that he battled depression and he used painting as a means of expression. You can almost see the colors battling it out on the canvas. I suppose I relate to him a lot because, well, you know. Plus, he played the cello for a brief period of time. There's a nice collection of his work at the Guggenheim."
"The what?" Jareth asked.
Realization dawned on Sarah as she smiled. "Of course, you haven't been there. Shall we add that museum to our agenda today?" Sarah asked.
"I would love nothing more." Jareth said, containing his excitement. He loved getting to spend so much time with her.
He wanted to kiss her, but he didn't think it right to move forward so quickly. Weeks ago he wanted nothing more than push her against a wall and have his way with her, but now, now it was different. His new goal was to bring her back to her old self. It may be an impossible task, but Jareth was willing to try anything. Still, there was the dread that hung over him. He was putting off the most important task of all.
Their day started off with a quick breakfast at The Bean followed by a trip to The Strand. Jareth insisted on purchasing a book of poetry by ee cummings that Sarah had been eyeing. He also purchased a biography on Kandinsky that Sarah recommended to him. Their time there was carefree and easygoing, and while most others would assume that the two were a couple, Jareth had to remind himself to keep a certain distance. He could still sense a little bit of apprehension on her part, so he needed to be as respectful of her space as possible.
Before exploring the Guggenheim, the two grabbed an expensive brunch at The Wright before spending the next four hours exploring the museum. Just like their time at The Met, hey focused on each section one at a time. When Jareth happened upon the Kandinsky painting he saw earlier on Sarah's fridge, he paused and gave it his full attention. The postcard didn't do the painting justice. Now he understood why she was so fascinated with the artist's work.
"I think I understand what your fascination is with this man's work. It's brilliant."
"You're just saying that." Sarah said, not completely on board with her companion's opinion.
"It is. I'll admit, I'm not used to this type of art. The more modern art was never something I was heavily educated on." Jareth was being honest.
"It's not for everyone." Sarah quipped as she moved towards the next painting.
"I've never truly seen work like this before. I'm open to something new, and that's all because of you dear."
The two continued to explore the museum, and while Sarah went to the ladies room, Jareth purchased a poster print of the painting from the museum shop. He wanted the poster, not because Sarah had a version of it, but because it was a strange symbol of the evolution of their relationship. Like the colors, his emotions were changing. There was still the guilt he felt, but he wanted to focus on the reds and pinks instead. Sarah Williams was so passionate, but she needed to see such things for herself.
As they walked towards the closest subway from the Guggenheim, Jareth and Sarah were silent. Jareth took the time to notice the beautiful chaos that was New York City. He now understood what Sarah meant when she told him she needed the obnoxious sounds in order to sleep. Their shoulders would gently brushed against each other every now and again when the crowds came together, but Jareth had to honor her space.
They continued to walk, and Jareth was pleasantly surprised when he felt Sarah gently grab his hand and lace her fingers with his. It appeared as if she was too afraid of looking at him for fear that he would disapprove, but Jareth couldn't hide his wide smile from the world as the two continued to walk. He felt a dam burst inside of him, and rather than jump into an easy embrace, he held fast to her hand and enjoyed the feeling of her warm hand in his. They were two people taking on the world around them, and in that moment, Jareth felt like his devotion could defeat any army an enemy would send his way.
Sarah wasn't as affectionate as Jareth hoped she would be. He loved the fact that she took some initiative, but he knew that she still held herself back. She still couldn't trust herself. It was the night of the Elgar concerto, and Sarah asked Jareth to meet her at her apartment. The two would catch a cab to the David Geffen Hall. She mentioned that some of her coworkers would be there, but Jareth didn't care about meeting those people. He was weaving a little magic, and hoped tonight would be a success.
Making sure his tie was on point, Jareth knocked on the door of Sarah's apartment. He could hear footsteps approaching and he readied himself for an evening out when he saw Sarah open the door. Jareth's jaw dropped when he saw the dress Sarah wore.
It was the same color he saw in his dream. It dropped just past her ankles, and while it was long sleeved, the fabric clung nicely to her skin. It was almost like a second skin. He heard Sarah talking as he walked into her apartment, but he didn't hear a word she was saying. Her hair was even styled in a similar fashion to his dream. Jareth could hear the footsteps, but he was still trying to process everything. Now he heard the sound of heels approaching him.
"Seth, you okay?" Sarah asked, concerned.
"Yes, I am. You look so beautiful."
Sarah looked down at the floor, before meeting his eyes, "Oh, stop it. Let's go."
Jareth arranged for the cab to pick them up, and it was an uneventful ride. The two were not good at small talk, but Jareth knew that the night was only just beginning.
Later on, as the two were ushered to their seats, Jareth placed his hand on the small of her back, allowing her to enter the aisle first.
"I didn't think our seats would be this good." Sarah whispered as she sat down.
"What were you expecting?"
Sarah turned and pointed to the back of the hall, "Way back over there! The nosebleed seats."
Jareth wanted to ask what she meant by "nosebleed seats," but he was afraid it would open the door for other questions. As the two waited for the concerto to start, Jareth voiced his thanks.
"I'm so thankful that you asked me to attend. I must be completely honest, I'm so grateful for all that you've done these past few weeks. You didn't have to go out of your way, but you did." Jareth grabbed her hand, wanting to bring it to his lips, but Sarah placed her other hand on top of his.
"You're welcome Seth."
And there it was, the stab of guilt in his belly. Would every single ounce of joy be sucked away by his false name?
"You alright?" Sarah asked. "You look sad."
"I've got a lot on my mind."
Another door for questions.
"Everyday work stresses? Sorry buddy, but that's what you get for being a lawyer." Sarah said, smiling at her companion. She removed her hand from his to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, and Jareth wanted nothing more than to be the one to do that for her.
Soon the lights were muted, and the New York Philharmonic began to play. The featured cellist did an amazing job, but Jareth wondered how different the sound would be if Sarah was up there playing with them. He was impressed with the piece she contributed to, but the Elgar piece tore him up inside with its beauty.
This was his second time hearing orchestra music, but it was his first time experiencing it with Sarah. He could tell that she heard this piece numerous times, her body barely swaying to certain parts. Was this the soundtrack to her turmoil all those years ago? He wanted to grab her hand. He wanted to cradle her heart and protect her from the aboveground that betrayed her, but didn't he betray her too?
Maybe it was the music. Maybe it was the guilt. Maybe it her flesh under his. (He now realized his left hand returned to holding her right one.) Just as it happened when he saw her play, a solitary tear fell from his eye. Everything he ever wanted was happening, but never before had he had so much to gain and lose at the same time.
Jareth didn't hear Sarah whisper, "It's alright Seth. It effects me too." She wiped away the tear before turning his face towards hers. Just like he did the other night, she placed a soft kiss on his lips. It was over before Jareth realized what was happening.
She linked her arm with his, and placed her head on his shoulder. Jareth never realized how amazing the weight felt.
Is this what love feels like?
In that moment, Jareth was willing to give up his kingdom.
At the end of the concerto, Sarah introduced two of her coworkers to her friend Seth. After a brief conversation about the concert and work related things, Sarah and Jareth made their way around the reception area.
"Are you ready to leave?" Sarah asked.
"Can we wait a little while longer? I just don't want us to wait long for a cab."
"Sure." Sarah said, soon noticing another person she knew in the crowd.
Thirty minutes later, the crowd died down and Sarah looked eager to leave.
"I think it's safe to leave." Sarah whispered jokingly.
"Not just yet."
Sarah looked confused and knew immediately that something wasn't right.
"What are you not telling me?" Sarah asked, her suspicion obvious.
"It's a surprise."
"I'm not fond of surprises."
Jareth removed his tie and covered Sarah's eyes with it.
"Do you trust me?"
Sarah hesitated before answering, "Yes."
Jareth gently guided Sarah, careful to warn her when steps were in their path.
"Where are you taking me?" Sarah asked.
"Patience darling." Seth whispered as he led her forward. He tried not to let his hand linger on the small of her back, but some things could not be helped.
"We're almost there."
"Have you led me back into the auditorium?" Sarah asked.
"We're approaching some stairs." Jareth said, grabbing Sarah's hand to led her up the stairs.
A few moments later Jareth removed the tie. Sarah was on the stage of the David Geffen Hall. To the right, less than ten feet away, was the most beautiful cello. Next to it was a chair.
"Play something for me." Jareth said, clearly shaking Sarah out of her trance.
"How did you? How were you able to arrange this?" Sarah asked.
"I know some people who know some people. It didn't hurt that I made a sizable donation to the Philharmonic. I've never heard you play on your own. You talk about how the music helped you get through a fog. Help me to understand it better. Plus, I don't think I have to stress that you deserved to be on this stage tonight."
"I don't know what to say." Sarah appeared to be on the brink of tears.
"Just play Sarah."
"What should I play?"
"Whatever makes you happy."
Sarah suddenly appeared nervous. Jareth stepped away and took a seat in the front row. His features beamed as he got comfortable in the chair.
Sarah gripped the instrument; she appeared to not know what she wanted to play. Before Jareth could tell her to stop thinking and just play from the heart, Sarah began to play Saint-Saens' "The Swan."
Jareth recognized it because because of the hours he spent researching and listening to famous cello pieces. At first, Sarah didn't focus on her audience of one at first, but Jareth couldn't take his eyes off of her.
In the middle of the slow piece, Sarah looked directly at him, and Jareth felt his stomach flutter again as she looked at him. Her playing was subtle, yet powerful.
As she played the final bars of the piece, Jareth could easily read her lips as she whispered, "Thank you."
Two hours later, in Sarah's apartment, Jareth kissed Sarah with every fiber of his being, and he allowed her to lead him towards her bedroom.
Sarah pulled Jareth towards her as they collapsed on her bed. Their kisses were slow and sensual, and Jareth was afraid to close his eyes for fear that this would be another dream. His hands began to skim over her body as he moved his lips down her neck and across her collarbone. He heard Sarah's breath grow ragged and removed his lips from her flesh. Straddling her body, Jareth pushed himself up to look at his prize. Her skin was flushed and her eyes were glazed over with something akin to lust. He observed the rise and fall of her chest and couldn't believe he was sharing this moment with her.
Sarah grabbed his right hand and placed it over her heart. He didn't have to read her mind to know that she was giving him permission to touch her.
"Show me how you like to be touched Sarah." Jareth asked.
He expected Sarah to immediately move his hand down to her center; it was what every other sexual partner of his did. But Sarah, his Sarah, was different. She gently grasped his hand and moved it to her face. She kept her hand on his as it moved of its own accord, tracing the contours of her face. Sarah closed her eyes and felt the sensation that could only come from the touch of another human. Jareth was in complete awe as he watched her. He wanted to memorize every inch of her through touch and taste, and eventually she let his hand go so she could touch him too.
Jareth could feel her heartbeat picking up, or was it his? Touch soon became too much for him to bear, and he replaced his hand with his lips.
He didn't know what to say, but suddenly he remembered lines from a collection that stood out to him as he trailed his lips over the little flesh that was exposed,
"Might I but kiss thy hand! I dare not fold my arms about thee — scarcely dare to speak. And nothing seems to me so wild and bold, as with one kiss to touch thy blessed cheek."
He heard Sarah's breath hitch before she looked into his eyes, his lips barely tracing hers.
"Tennyson." Sarah whispered into his lips before rubbing her nose against his.
"Shall I quote more?" Jareth whispered back.
It was then that Sarah's eyes widened.
"Seth" Sarah whispered.
It pained him to hear the false name. He would trade over his kingdom to hear her whisper his given name, but when Sarah met her lips with his, the thought was soon forgotten. Things grew more frantic as Sarah moved her hands behind his neck to pull him closer.
Jareth lightly grasped a breast before moving his hand lower to lightly grip her waist. He felt himself grow hard, but he didn't want her to know just how much of an effect she had had on him for years.
"You can touch me if you want." Sarah whispered, giving him permission to take things a step further.
Jareth placed his forehead on hers. He looked into her green eyes and knew that she would let him do whatever he wanted without hesitation. Then the guilt flooded him. He wanted nothing more than to truly make her his, but he couldn't do it. Not like this. Not before he truly revealed himself to her. He didn't want revenge anymore - he wanted her love, and deep down he knew that the only way to truly win her was with complete honesty. Her soft humming caught his attention.
"What's wrong?" Sarah asked before kissing his eyelids.
Jareth swallowed the lump in his throat and let himself enjoy the sweetness of her lips on his skin.
"Nothing. It's just that I think we need to slow things down."
"Am I doing something wrong?" Sarah asked.
"No. No. You're perfect, and I want nothing more than to be here with you. Can we just lie together for a while?"
At first Jareth thought he offended Sarah, but he knew all was well when she kissed his forehead and pulled his head to her torso. He could feel her heartbeat and wished for his to synch up with hers. He closed his eyes and relaxed into her body when he felt Sarah run her fingers through his hair. Her fingers lingered and massaged his scalp, and Jareth moaned at the simple comfort that came from such an action.
"I don't think you understand how fond I am of you." Jareth said as he enjoyed the rise and fall of her chest.
"I remember you telling me that you felt numb to the world around you. I wanted to tell you then that I knew exactly how you felt, but I must admit that I'm afraid." Sarah said.
"What are you afraid of?" Jareth said, now feeling Sarah's hands running circles on his back.
"Letting you in." Sarah said bluntly. "What will happen when you leave?"
Jareth knew the truth; it was a new one, but one he was ready to forge forward with. He wasn't going to leave the aboveground without her. It was here that Jareth could be completely honest, well, for the most part.
"I don't have all of the answers, I'm afraid. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, and it both excites and scares me. I just want to spend as much time with you as possible."
Jareth moved aside and pulled Sarah towards him to where her head was now on his chest. Sarah clutched his hand and pulled it to her. The two were silent for some time, Jareth thought she was asleep.
Suddenly, Sarah shot up.
"I can't get comfortable with this dress on. I'm sure you aren't either."
"I'm managing just fine Sarah." Jareth said as he looked up at Sarah who was now standing beside him.
It was then that Sarah had a look of apprehension on her face. Jareth saw her build up her courage as she stared at him on her bed.
"I'll remove mine if you remove yours." Sarah whispered.
Jareth sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed. He kept his eyes on Sarah as he removed his shoes and slowly began to unbutton his shirt. Sarah pushed the sleeves down on her dress and began to peel it away from her skin. Jareth kept his eyes on her as a means of not backing away from her challenge, noting her bra and panties were black. He could almost feel the goosebumps forming on her skin. Jareth now stood to unbutton his pants and remove them, leaving him only in his briefs. The two stared at one another, daring the other to make the first move. It was a battle of wills that Jareth easily knew he could win.
"Sarah, let's go to bed." Jareth said, grabbing Sarah's hand and pulling her to him. He lay beside her and ran his hand over the side of her face that was available to him. He was afraid to close his eyes, worried that his guilt would ruin the moment. It seemed that every time he closed his eyes, her past memories would appear before him.
Sarah pulled him back to reality when she brushed a few loose strands of his hair behind his ear. The tension that had been building up for some time was growing thicker and thicker with each passing second. There was a look of sadness in her eyes, and Jareth didn't have to ask why she so melancholy.
"I don't want you to leave." Sarah whispered, choosing to direct her vision and touch to his collarbone and chest.
Jareth clutched her hand, holding it in place over his flesh. In that moment he wanted to beg her to come with him to the underground, but such a thing wasn't a possibility. One day that proposal would come, but not yet. Rather than try to come up with some lame line about time telling all, he met his lips with hers. She acquiesced to him and allowed his kiss to overtake her.
It didn't take long for Jareth to lie on top of Sarah, his hands exploring her flesh. Sarah's soft moans urged him on and he could feel his hardness pressing into her. He knew that he needed to stop before things went too far, but he couldn't.
Jareth's hand roamed down to Sarah's underwear. He could smell how wet she was, but he couldn't resist feeling it for himself. Keeping their lips locked together, Jareth slipped a finger inside of her and was met with her approval as he swallowed her moan with his mouth.
Moving his lips down her neck and across her collarbone, he kept slowly moving his finger. He could hear Sarah's labored breathing as he entered another finger inside of her. Looking up he saw the arch of Sarah's neck as she savored the pleasure.
"I can't stop." Jareth whispered as his lips made his way back to her neck.
"Then don't." Sarah responded, as she turned her head away from him.
That urged Jareth on as he trailed his lips lower and lower down her body. He traced his tongue over her center and felt Sarah shudder under his touch. In all of his past dalliances, his lovers were very vocal. Sarah wasn't and her silent screams turned Jareth on even more. He kept his tongue on her as his vision focused on her flesh. She still had her bra on, but Jareth could see a sheen of sweat form between her breasts. Her hips began to move up, and Jareth used an arm to hold her in place. He could see Sarah gripping her sheets with her left hand, but her right hand was searching for something. He didn't realize it was his hand until she gripped it. He ran his fingers through hers, knowing that if their hands fit together perfectly, then their bodies would do so in other ways.
"Please, I can't take it anymore." Sarah whispered.
Jareth knew that she was closer than close and he continued to lap at her. He thought it cruel to make her beg. Now, inserting a finger to aide in her completion, it didn't take long until she came. It was the sweetest sound he ever heard.
Once again tracing his lips along her flesh, Jareth felt her bliss. When his lips finally met hers, he brought his hand up to push the strands of hair away from her face. Jareth could feel Sarah move her hands toward his hardness.
"Wait, don't." Jareth whispered.
"Why? That's got to be bothering you." Sarah replied, kissing his neck.
"This was supposed to be about you."
"And not you?" Sarah said, moving her hand up and down his hardened length.
Jareth shuddered under her touch, moaning in delight as her touch ignited something within him. He allowed her to remove his briefs and while he knew that things had already gone too far, he couldn't escape the stare of her green orbs as she continued to touch him. It was slow, deliberate, but painfully perfect.
He began to piston into her hand, keeping his eyes locked with hers. Jareth brought his lips to hers and kept up pace with Sarah as she increased the speed of her stroke. It didn't take long for his release to come. Lowering his head to her neck, he took a few seconds to collect himself. Sarah held him to her as he waited for his heartbeat to return to normal. He felt languid and couldn't move for fear of being separated from her.
"Why are you so good to me?" Sarah whispered.
As they drifted to sleep, Jareth felt felt no better about claiming Sarah Williams as his own. He did, however, feel that she claimed him as hers, even if she didn't know it.
